Sixty Days

Sixty days. I hear the doctor's words only I feel as if he might as well be at least four hundred yards away. How can this be happening? I waited twenty four years to have a brother and then I got three only this one, Nick, is different. Even if we did start out on opposite ends it's like we're each other's left arm or something. He can't be dying.

"If I'm going to die, I don't want the rest of the family dying with me. I want your word, Heath, your word."

Is he serious? Doesn't he know, can't he see I've already begun dying with him? The others have a right to know only how can I deny him? I can't deny the validity of the doctor's words. I pray for a miracle….and then grant my brother's request. "You got it."

"Did I hear my cooking mentioned?" I walk into the dining room just as I hear Audra and Jarrod joking about my cooking.

"Not mentioned, cursed," Jarrod jokes.

"Jealousy, just plain jealous," I do my best to joke back, fighting to keep 'sixty five days' off the stage of my mind. Unfortunately, it's pushed to the front as the conversation turns to the fence the new stallion kicked down.

I mention the fence, and Nick asks, "Did you get it fixed?"

"Partly," I answered.

"What do you mean partly?" Nick asks again.

I answer thinking nothing of it until Jarrod starts talking and I hear Nick answering only I hear the annoyance in his tone. No, not annoyance, simmering anger and I cringe inside. I know what's coming, especially when Jarrod mentions gelding. Sure enough, Nick snaps, barks at Jarrod and storms off.

"What's the matter with him?" Jarrod asks.

"He's been acting like a stranger ever since came back from that trip." I can hear the confusion in Audra's voice. Their words and the feel of my stepmother's eyes bore into my mind and heart. I want to tell them; I still think they have a right to know, but I gave Nick my word.

"Get that stallion!" I yell. We can't lose him; I know how much Nick paid for him and, after what happened at the dinner table, he can't get away.

"How'd the horse get loose?" Nick runs out of the bunkhouse and barks.

"He jumped the fence." I answer.

"Jump the fence? Why didn't someone stop him? Are you blind? That stallion's too valuable to be lost. " Even as Nick says the words I begin to tense up though I give him the only answer I can.

"Nick, it was only an accident."

"When I want your back talk, I'll ask for it." Nick snaps and then he does something that shocks us both…he slaps me and slaps me hard.

"Fits of rage…sixty days." Once again I hear the doctor's words as I feel the sting of my brother's hand. Disbelief and hurt fills my heart and sincere remorse and pain fills my brother's eyes. He tries to speak, but no words come, and I can't say a thing.

Jarrod appears; he knows Nick is in trouble and tries to get me to tell him what's going on. "Silence doesn't spare the people you love; sometimes, it hurts them worse." He speaks the truth only I gave my word.

"There's nothing I can tell you, Jarrod, nothing." I turn and leave before I say anything else.

"Silas tells us…" Mother starts talking to Nick, but I barely hear her or him as he answers. However, I do find my voice long enough to offer to go with him only he turns the offer away. It tears me inside out.

"Why Nick? Because of what happened this afternoon?" It's the only thing I can't think of.

"I could have killed you this afternoon, Heath, you know that..." He goes on talking about his life and wanting it to amount to something. Why can't he realize his life has counted for something? Hasn't he filled the void in my life like no other brother could? Why can't he realize this is killing me inside? Still, as far as he and I know he's got sixty days left…and he's right. A man should be able to die with the peace of mind knowing he's done his best.

I sigh; maybe it's a good thing I didn't know it would be sixty five days before I saw my brother again. I mean, as it is, all I could think at that time was…it's going to be a long sixty days.