Summary: This story is more or less AU, since it ignores a certain aspect of OoTP, ahem, you know what I'm talking about, lol. My first ficcy, also happens to be a songfic...Sirius and Remus renew their love, and then later on Harry jumps in, heh heh.
Ships: Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Harry, Sirius/Remus/Harry
Disclaimer: Of course a disclaimer, though its purpose is lost to me...of COURSE I don't own anything from J.K Rowling's absolutely marvellous universe (hey, she does support fanfiction though, grins)...oh and I don't own the song either, snippets from The Reason by Hoobastank, so schnaa! ;}
I Just Want You To Know
Sirius Black drew a ragged breath as he peered through the sheet of hair in front of his face. His mission was now complete...well almost. All he had to do was walk up the narrow, well-worn path to the house...Remus Lupin's house.
They had last seen each other not long ago during their encounter in the Shrieking Shack. 'When Wormtail escaped from me again' Sirius growled to himself. He shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts from his mind, 'Not now' he reasoned.
Grudgingly he started moving forward, taking long strides lest he change his mind. Slowing as he neared the door, he heard something shuffle and looked up surprised to see Remus' tall body framed by the now-open door. Just as quickly, he averted his gaze. 'Remus probably just acted rashly last time...he wouldn't want things to be like they used to anymore.' Complex emotions were starting to flood through Sirius, and he didn't want to start thinking about them. To remember them.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
As he was about to go to the simple warmth that was Padfoot, Sirius realized something. Remus had already strode from the doorway and was hugging him. He blinked, before pushing aside all his inhibitions, and fiercely returned the embrace. "M-Moony...Remus..." Sirius gasped, though the words were muffled as he spoke them into Remus' shoulder.
"Shhh" Remus told him, "It'll be alright." After a moment he dislodged himself from Sirius, though his hands were still on the other mans shoulders as he held him out an arms length to observe him. "Come on, let's get you inside and cleaned up."
Sirius snorted, but followed Remus into the house nonetheless, 'Remus could always be counted on to play the mother hen role, especially when it came to putting others first.' Getting straight to business, Remus pulled Sirius down a narrow hallway, bare, save for a lone picture. Upon catching sight of it, Sirius suddenly came to a stop, Remus' hand sliding from its position on his bicep, causing him to stumble a step or two. Once his footing was found again, Remus turned and saw Sirius bringing a hand close to the frame, as if to brush it, but dared not touch it.
The picture had been taken at the last, and only wedding Remus had ever attended, that of James and Lily Potter. Remus placed a gentle hand on Sirius' bony shoulder, watching as the youthful figures of James, Sirius and himself, smiled and waved back at them. He felt Sirius move, and saw those haunted eyes had tears silently flowing from them.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't think-" he started.
"No" croaked Sirius, "its fine...in fact better this way." The tears didn't stop though, so Remus again took the initiative to lightly tug Sirius to his intended destination, the bathroom. Although cramped, Remus managed to maneuver around the other man in order to turn on the faucet of the tub. He turned around to find Sirius with the palms of both his hands on his temples, rocking with suppressed sobs.
"Shh shh, its okay" he told Sirius "Just let it all out. Come on the warm water will help you relax."
Soon enough Sirius found himself undressed and in the warm water which helped take the chill out of his bones. The gentle caress of soap across his back helped as well, and soon his sobs resided. He sniffed one last time, and craned his neck to see Remus kneeling by the side of the tub with the bar of soap in his hand. Sirius splashed some water on his face. "Thanks, but I should be the one who is sorry, bawling like that and all."
"Bollocks" said Remus fiercely, "You have every right to, what with everything that's happened..." He trailed off there, unsure of what to say.
"But...but I should have come to you first or something, instead of chasing that, that...Rat!" Sirius spat out. "It's, it's just...in Azkaban..." He paused to draw a shuddering breath. "That's all I could think about, it consumed me...but it's different now. I have Harry to look out for, and...and you as well."
"If only we could go back and change things...but we can't, so there's no sense brooding on the past. I'm sure we've both found that out the hard way by now." Remus' voice was stronger now, and he smiled as he said "I'm glad I have you back as well, and Harry can be quite a handful, wait till you hear about the things he's done..."
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Harry Potter had just finished his sixth year at Hogwarts, and he was ecstatic. 'Why shouldn't I be' he mused, 'I've one year of school left, the Weasley's are finally spending the summer at the Burrow, and save for some Order members coming and going, the house will be full of only my favourite people.' Harry felt himself grin as he opened the heavy old door in front of him. A figure looked up from his position lounged on the large, tattered bed, and Harry saw the Hippogriff, Buckbeak, clawing at a bloody bag on the floor. 'Namely, Sirius and Remus.' The former of whom he had been thinking about being the one spread out on the bed.
Sirius patted what was left of the mattress beside him, and Harry bounded over and sprawled out on his stomach with his chin resting on Sirius' crossed and stretched out legs. Harry felt Sirius' rough, nimble fingers start to thread through his hair. Stroking it here and there before smoothing it out and starting over again, thus causing him to relax even further. Harry closed his eyes from the gentle ministrations, and let out a content sigh. "It's great here you know" he said softly, "There's no other place I'd rather be right now."
Sirius huffed. "How could you think this place is great, the first chance I got, I'd be out of here."
"I meant because you and Remus are here...I would follow you guys anywhere and still be overjoyed, even if we were in the Canadian North or...or Antarctica!" Harry finished meekly. Somewhat ashamed of what he said, he burrowed his face deeper in the crook of Sirius's knees.
"C'mon now, I didn't mean it that way, and you know it" Sirius replied with an air of confidence, and a devilish smirk, which Harry saw because he had lifted his head up with laughter at Sirius' antics. Caught unawares, Sirius was knocked backwards with the force of Harry's lean sixteen-year old body. With a wry smile on his face, Harry had also straddled Sirius' chest and had each knee holding down each of the other man's arms. Not a lanky little boy anymore, Harry's weight seemed to be enough to hold Sirius down...it also helped that Sirius wasn't struggling, but at that moment Harry didn't take any notice.
Sirius kept still, laying there looking up into Harry's eyes which were clouded with uncertainty. 'This isn't a game anymore...' Sirius mused. With that, Harry had swooped down and they were face to face...he could feel his warm breath coming out in little puffs on his lips. Before it had even properly started it had ended. Sirius' breath shuddered out at the loss of heat on his face, and for that brief moment, his lips. Then the comfortable weight was off his body as well. Sirius sat up, trying to follow those feeling that were leaving him.
"I shou...I didn't...I..." quickly stuttered Harry before he fell off the back of the bed and scrambled out of the room.
"Harry, wait!" Sirius bellowed after him, but he didn't come back. "Damn!"
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Remus Lupin had just emerged on the landing at he top of the stairs, and had taken a few steps into the hallway...in time to brace himself as a dark blur which he recognized as Harry came plummeting towards him. Harry steps faded away as he disappeared down the stairs, leaving Remus flat on his ass rubbing the side of his head. "What the hell...?" he managed to splutter out, feeling the throbbing in his head grow stronger.
Just then, Sirius appeared from the doorway Harry had emerged from, looking sullen. Upon seeing Remus' predicament, he rushed forward. "Oi Moony, what happened to you?" Sirius questioned.
"Urg, Harry happened to me. He rushed away suddenly for no apparent reason."
"Yea, me too" Sirius mumbled, as he helped Remus back to his feet. "It's just...I don't know..." he trailed off, brushing a strand of silver streaked hair out of Remus' face and smoothing it back into place, grinning slightly.
"What?" Remus laughed, "He knocked you on your ass too, and then ran off?" There was a glimmer of truth to be seen in Sirius' body position, as he sheepishly raised a hand and started nervously rubbing the back of his neck, all the while averting Remus' gaze. "Come on, telling me about it might help sort it out." Before Sirius knew precisely what was happening, he had been dragged to the top of the stairs and a strong clap on his shoulder from Remus caused his legs to forcibly bend their way into a seating position. Remus took a seat beside him, while resting his chin in a cupped palm propped up on one knee. A sideways quirk of his head motioned for Sirius to speak.
"Well, hmm, Harry and I...I mean it started with....uh?" Sirius managed to stutter out. His left leg was jingling up and down, as he perched on the edge of the stair, looking as if he was ready to sprint away. With a sigh, Remus pulled Sirius lean frame against him so that he was resting between his legs. He leaned back against the railings and Sirius was obliged to follow as he had wrapped his arms around the other mans chest as well.
"Now what's the real problem?" Remus insisted, gently squeezing his arms and laying his cheek on the crown of Sirius' head.
"It's complicated...wait, no I guess it isn't" Sirius started, "Harry, he surprised me by pinning me and stealing a kiss...and I...well I was sad to see him run off like that."
"So you liked it?" Remus whispered while licking the back of Sirius's ear. "...You wanted more?"
"Unn, yesss..." Sirius moaned, while withering under Remus' touch. Quickly he turned into the embrace, until he was facing Remus. "You don't despise me for saying that do you?" he whispered, his head lowered.
"Actually, I've been waiting for something like this to occur." Remus nudged Sirius' face up, capturing the bottom lip which was being worried by Sirius' teeth with his own mouth, slowly causing their worries to leave them as a passionate kiss was shared.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
As it turns out, when Harry reached the end of the tall staircase he had no idea where he wanted to go...so he plunked down on the bottom step. He could still hear voices upstairs, and a few moments later the figures he recognized as the owners of the voices, sat on the top stairs.
'They're probably thinking of a way to ditch me now...back to the Dursley's.' Harry though bitterly. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid, stu...' He paused. 'What did they just say...that he had enjoyed it, and wanted more...both of them?'
Cautiously Harry started to trek back up the stairs, being watchful of the ones that did more than creak when you were trying to be quiet. By the time he was a few steps away from them, his breathing was so ragged that Harry found it hard to believe they couldn't hear it. As if on cue Remus looked up, and offered Harry a shy smile. Sirius, sensing the movement, turned back around in Remus' arms.
"Harry..." Sirius breathed.
"Sirius...and Remus also" Harry started. "I want you to know; well you two are so great to me, like I was saying earlier there's no place I'd rather be then right here with both of you, because...I love you." Feeling a bit more confident, Harry grinned, "If I had been alone with Remus, I would have pounced on him too."
Remus freed one of his arms, and beckoned Harry over to them. Once he had came close enough, two different hands grabbed hold of him, and pulled him down so Harry was sitting sideways on both of their knees. Harry, whose face hidden somewhere under their mass of bodies was whispering, "I'm sorry."
"Whatever are you apologizing for?" Remus wondered aloud, stroking Harry's back with the palm of a hand.
"For messing things up between you guys...for thinking that you'd like me maybe."
"Harry! I don't feel anything wrong...Remus?" announced Sirius. Somehow he had found Harry's chin and forced him to look at them.
"...Same here."
"And if you haven't noticed yet, both of us haven't rejected you, and aren't going to."
"Really?" said Harry with the twinkle coming back to his vibrant eyes.
"For sure" answered Sirius, capturing Harry's mouth in a gentle, reassuring kiss. Once he pulled back, both of them were grinning. "Now, are you certain you want this?"
"Definitely" said Harry, nearly breathless. He looked up at Remus, who cupped his cheek, the thumb brushing over his cheekbone.
"We love you too, Harry."
Harry was too overjoyed to reply; also his mouth was busily experiencing the first kiss with Remus. Sitting back and enjoying the ride, Harry's lips were teased open, and Remus' tongue was lapping around Harry's teeth. It then lightly brushed over the ridges of his palate; eliciting a sharp gasp, then moan from the recipient. At the same time, Sirius was nuzzling Harry's neck, giving the occasional nip to the underside of his jaw.
Remus pulled back from the kiss, one side of his mouth quirked up. Placing his hands on Harry's hips he turned him until he was straddling his and Sirius' legs, and a familiar hardness pressed insistently into his abdomen. 'Merlin, he's hard...' Harry gasped and thrust his hips forward until Remus' hands halted his efforts.
Just then Remus' ears piqued at the sound of the locks on the large front door undoing. Eyes wide, Remus turned to Sirius, "The front door, someone's coming!"
Sirius managed to wiggle his way free, and was vaulting down the stairs in an instant to meet Dedalus Diggle as he stepped into the dimly lit front entrance. Conversation could be heard from the two below, as Remus turned to look into Harry's face.
"Whoops" he said lightly, "There must be an Order meeting we forgot about."
"That's okay, I...I'll catch you guys later right?"
"Of course, or seeing as Sirius' left me to answer, 'Wouldn't miss it for the world'." Harry wobbled his way back up to his feet, allowing Remus to pass down the stairs as more Order of the Phoenix members showed up.
When Remus reached the bottom, he chanced a glance back at Harry, who smirked suggestively down at him. "Great!" Remus saw him mouth before Harry turned and disappeared down the hallway.
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
I don't know whether I have to remind you or not, but come on guys, my first story, I need the REVIEWS, lol!!!
aaf