a sniperduo fic, wow, in the year 2017, what a miracle. or perhaps its just my bias trying to manifest itself into something tangible. anyway, ive been meaning to write this for a while, despite the rustiness in my writing, and im suure its gonna be a multichaptered fic/borderline collection of oneshots probably. lets just hope it is, and that my motivation lasts long enough for it to be so. that said, supposed updates are gonna be irregular bc idk when ill finish the next one. also since this thing was practically spontaneous, off the bat, almost impulsive, id been struggling to outline everything and how to title all of this mess, so forgive me if the titles are just cheesy af (lol). for this first chapter, it's very chiba-centric, and ive had a lot of dumb title ideas, of which are: "year 1" "year of no communication" "are you free this afternoon?" "chiba thinks about hayami the entire day" "Local Quiet Kid Experiences Distance, Feels World Crushing Guilt" u can guess which i picked, and ill leave it up to the air if it was the right choice (lol). thanks for reading!
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Chiba's hands were unusually clammy as he held his phone in his hand, thumbs hovering over the screen as he troubled himself on what words to type—or if he should even send a message in the first place, after all this time.
Feeling a sigh escape from his mouth, he mulled over the thought that he hadn't felt this anxious since his first day in high school, when he stepped into a new environment with not a single familiar face throughout the campus. Of course, he anticipated it would be this way; he knew none of his classmates were going to the same high school as him, and though that made him a little sad, he figured he could use this as an opportunity to break out of his shell and make more friends on his own.
It seemed that he was just too preoccupied in doing so, that he might have unintentionally stopped all contact with his ex-classmates, and has essentially been ignoring them for an entire year. He inwardly pressed his palm on his face. Or perhaps that was just him, being socially clumsy, and bad enough to end up muting the group chat their former class still had.
He still had everyone's contacts, of course—and while he had the chat muted, he still read through what he had missed when he got home, catching up to all the tales and woes of his friends' respective lives. He just barely participated, and eventually found himself content to just reading through what the others had to say. Ritsu occasionally visited his phone to check up on him, and so far she was probably the only classmate he was able to talk to from time to time, mostly because she just let herself in through his phone.
At that point, he just felt it would end up being too awkward if he suddenly spoke out of nowhere, and decided he didn't need that kind of unwanted attention. Even the planned outings by Isogai or Kataoka (or anyone else, for that matter) that he used to go along with in a whim, he found himself shrugging off, convincing himself that he was too busy and that he had other things to tend to.
You dumbass! You just felt awkward after not talking with them for a long time! He inwardly pressed another palm on his face. I thought I was already past this after everything that's happened in middle school, but it's like I deliberately took a giant step back as soon as I graduated. He sighed.
His eyes focused once again on his phone screen, and they flickered in recognition under his bangs as he read through the familiar characters of whom he was planning to send a message to. There was one person he was comfortable enough to talk to casually—at least that's what he thought, or at least, what it should've been, if he hadn't fucked up so bad. He let out another sigh, this time laced with slight irritation at himself.
He might have been blowing this out of proportion, but as someone who was just as bad at communicating with other people, he couldn't help it. So when he saw that Hayami Rinka sent him a message during class (the first one in months, mind you), asking if he was free, he decided to reply later after class had ended, but promptly ended up forgetting about it until a week had already passed.
Oh, the anxiety that spiked when he realized he forgot to reply to her. For a week even. Under normal circumstances, he should've replied as soon as he remembered and apologized about it coolly. Professional. Except he made a mistake—was it because of his panic, his logic trying to persuade him, or just his wonderful socialization skills?—and decided it wasn't worth it to reply. It was just a simple, "Are you free this afternoon?" question after all, and he already hadn't responded in such a time; at least it didn't seem to be something super important and urgent, or else guilt would have taken his soul after practically forgetting about her for an entire week. So, he went on with his life. That was a few months ago.
Unfortunately for him, it still ended up making him feel guilty enough as if it took over his soul, granted it manifested over time at the back of his mind. Because after that particular incident, Hayami never contacted him again. He understood immediately, of course; perhaps she was just busy with her own school life (she hadn't been participating actively in the group chat as well, so he wouldn't have known the details of her current school life) or she just thought that he was too busy instead, and that she was just waiting for him to respond to her first.
He considered asking if she was free instead on some days, as a sort of compensation for that forgotten message. Yet like the fool that he was, he backed down on it as he felt too awkward to do so, given so much time had already passed. Months of no communication. He realized it probably already took so much courage from her to actually send the first message, and he was just making it worse for the both of them by not responding at all.
Man, not being in the same school and not being able to constantly see my friends in person sure is hard. He tried to give reason to his own dumb actions.
And so, here he was now. By the end of the month, spring break would soon start, and right after that, he'd go back to school as a second year, just like the others. Almost an entire school year had already passed, and that also meant an entire year of no communication with Class E, including her sniping partner in particular. Ritsu had been worried about him the entire time, and eventually managed to convince him to at least message someone.
"At least message Hayami-san! I'm sure she's worried about you, too." Her words rang in his mind, and as she left his phone to visit the others, he decided to follow her suggestion.
Except he didn't know what to even say after all this time. Should I just apologize right off the bat? Maybe that'd be too awkward, it's been months already. Just say hello? Be casual? That'd sound too rude after just ignoring her… How are you? What have you been up to? Are you going tomorrow? What time are you going? Do you want to go together?
In the end, he turned his phone off and settled it down on his desk, leaning back on his chair and stared up at the ceiling.
You dumbass.
He dragged himself to bed, and decided that he was going to accept whatever consequences his dumb actions got him tomorrow. He grumbled a little. It's been a while since he last climbed a mountain.
.
He wanted to get there late, but not too late that he would have considered not going in the first place. He caught himself smiling a little—that was a lie; he still would've went, given that this involved the place that had a year's worth of irreplaceable memories.
But moreover, he wanted to get there late, because at least when everyone else was already gathered up by the building, and if they noticed enough to gracefully point out his lack of contact for the past year, he would rather just have to deal with it all at once instead of having to explain over to them individually, multiple times. I'd already get exhausted before we'd even start the actual cleaning.
He let out a long, shaky breath, steeling himself for the inevitable as he trudged up the once familiar mountain path. He'd have to face them eventually. Face her eventually. Especially if he didn't want to keep ignoring them all and essentially lose all the connections he had made during middle school. Shrugging the backpack strap back on its place over his shoulder, he just wished no one else was also this late to call him out.
"Chiba?!"
Great. Of course, I had to jinx it.
Recognizing that familiar voice, he turned around after a brief pause and was faced with the one and only gray haired artist of E Class beaming and jogging over towards him. He reflexively showed a small smile at the thought that this was the first time he had seen his friend in a long time, despite the anxiety swimming in his stomach.
"Sugaya." He acknowledged him, curtly.
"Hey, man, don't just 'Sugaya' me! How've you been! It's been so long!" the lanky artist huffed as he stood in front of him, a smile wide enough to show his excitement. Chiba felt a little bit more relaxed at his friendly presence and demeanor. "Haven't seen and heard from you in months, you know? We were worried you up and disappeared on us!"
The both of them shared a small laugh. "Sorry, it's been busy," Chiba half-lied, but even if Sugaya had known it wasn't the exact truth, he already knew what kind of person his sniper friend was, so he let it slide without any questions. "Are you with anybody?"
He nodded. "Oh, yeah, I was with Okajima and Mimura, but they went to buy some drinks first, so I went on ahead. Didn't expect to run into you though, which was a surprise!" He let out another hearty laugh. "Looks like you're still one of us—now the latecomers!"
Chiba just regarded him with a nod, when the distant calls of Sugaya's name could be heard from afar, and the both of them turned to see the figures of the photographer and the director in the distance. Sugaya and Chiba both held up a hand, and upon noticing the sniper, the aforementioned two started running up to them in bewilderment while calling out Chiba's name this time.
"Speak of the devils," Sugaya exclaimed as he motioned for the rest of his friends to come faster. Chiba still felt nervous, but seeing the usual group of friends he used to hang out with in silence did make him feel a little happy and nostalgic.
"It's the Chiba Ryuunosuke, in the flesh! You haven't changed in the slightest!" Okajima's shrill voice pierced his ears while Mimura nodded from his side, and it was getting harder to contain his smile. Though unpleasant, he did sometimes miss the shenanigans that the photographer would incite in the class, given that he tended to witness most of them from his seat behind him. "Say, I've been meaning to ask this for a long time now, and is it true that your high school has a lot of beauties?! I never got the chance to check it out myself!" Nevermind.
"Speak for yourself," he said, more endearing than condescending. "Nice to see you guys again, too."
Okajima grinned in response, while the rest let out a laugh. They all started walking up the mountain path again, and then Mimura gestured to the sniper, "I got to admit though, I thought you wouldn't show up after all this time. It's been what, months? Almost a year? Since the last time I even saw you reply in the group chat!"
Chiba stiffened a little, and he couldn't help but nervously rub the back of his head. Before he arrived at the mountain, he had already thought about what to tell the others if they asked about his supposed disappearance—should he lie? Say something like he lost his phone? Should he just tell the truth? Even if it sounded stupid? Should he just avoid the question entirely? Stay quiet?
Despite all the energy that went into him thinking, and as if his old habits of not even making excuses for his own actions resurfaced, the only thing that he ended up saying was, "Sorry."
Mimura, though seemingly nervous as he thought he made him guilty, gave him a single pat on the back. "Oh, no worries, man. We're just glad you're actually still here."
Okajima and Sugaya nodded in agreement next to him, and it made Chiba realize that he really missed them, and like, a lot. He smiled a little and nodded. The rest of the hike up to their old class building was filled with casual conversations of what they all had been up to and what their high schools were like, and he was there silently listening to them, acknowledging a few of their sentences with a reaction or two.
Maybe he really was just worrying too much, and that this little reunion wouldn't go as bad or as awkward as he thought it'd be. It was Class E after all, possibly the only bunch who understood him as the quiet person that he was. Feeling a little bit more confident, he continued to walk quietly next to his friends, until the blurry figure of the old building could be seen in the far distance.
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Okay, not as well as he thought it'd go.
Doubled over with Sugaya and Mimura holding him up in half-concern, half-amusement, he trembled a little just after being promptly assassinated by Maehara Hiroto. His thought: Okay, I deserved that.
The playboy held up his fist, his face riddled with slight annoyance. Isogai and Kataoka were right behind him, showing concerned looks, yet none surprised; the others were watching nearby. "That was for one year, jackass!"
Chiba was about to apologize, when he felt an arm smack down over his shoulders, draping over them in an overly friendly manner. Turning to the side expecting Sugaya or Okajima, he was faced with his assailant. Grinning mischievously, Maehara smacked his stomach a few more times. Oof. Gentle, gentle.
"You bastard! Finally showing your face here after ignoring us for an entire year!" He was laughing, almost as if he just did a complete 180 from a few seconds ago. Isogai finally came up to him to intervene and also helped him up. He swore he could hear someone (Was that Okano?) whisper something about the playboy having no right to call someone else a bastard.
"Sorry about that, Chiba," Isogai apologized for Maehara, gently shoving his friend's arm off his shoulders so he can be free. Maehara just stuck his tongue out. "Said he just couldn't help it, and honestly we were a little worried about you and Hayami."
Hayami? "I-It's okay. My bad." He just straightened himself out, but he bowed a little to show that he was really apologizing. Like with Sugaya and the others before, he had thought about what to say in detail, but in the end, that was all he could muster up.
"Hey, come on, you guys just look like you're bullying him now," He looked up to see Kataoka had entered the conversation. She had a friendly smile and she placed a hand on his back, gently guiding him into their old class building. Isogai could only show an apologetic look while Maehara kept the mischief on his face.
Chiba could only nervously let her lead him on the way in, still feeling a little uneasy at the attention he brought upon himself, though he half-wished nobody noticed his disappearance. Guess it was just wishful thinking on his part, given this was the assassination classroom he was talking about. He could easily pinpoint out some classmates who had keen eyes of observation, though he certainly didn't expect Maehara to be one of them.
As the first person to deliberately walk up to him with a smile from the group that had already gathered there outside the building, he briefly thought if his assassination skills had gone rusty as he couldn't detect Maehara's bloodlust before he delivered the fatal blow. Perhaps he managed to polish his instead, and just hid his bloodlust too well?
"He was just a little upset you didn't come to the study session a few weeks ago," Kataoka suddenly spoke as if she read his mind, and he looked back at her in slight surprise. She showed a small smile. "He hoped you would have been there to help him with math, but since you weren't around, he had to deal with Karma."
He blinked a few times before he remembered what she was talking about; apparently, Maehara was bombarded with upcoming quizzes some time ago, and he had asked for a study session in the group chat. He would've been willing to go if he wasn't feeling so awkward, and he convinced himself at that time that it was fine not to go because the others (note: Isogai, Kataoka, Karma, and even Okuda) were already going. He let out an, "Oh."
Knowing how Karma was like and remembering back when he used to teach them in group studies in middle school, he could only mentally apologize to Maehara. For a person such as him who he observed to like to move in a fast pace and not hold grudges, he guessed even Karma's intense mischief and pranks can change a person a little.
He looked over at Maehara, who was talking to Isogai. Noticing his glance, the former turned towards him and showed a playful grin, as if saying 'Sorry 'bout that, but you know I had to do it!' Chiba just regarded him in silence, turning his attention back in front of him and hiding the fact that he was fazed from being caught looking.
He guessed that little scuffle earlier was now resolved, seeing as Maehara just wanted to get his little revenge. Nobody else made a big deal about his disappearance, and he inwardly thanked everyone for it. Kataoka left him to join her own group of friends, and he showed his appreciation with a silent nod and a smile. He also made his way back to his own group; everyone wanted to catch up to each other before they had to start the cleaning.
He couldn't contribute much to the conversation as his first year in high school wasn't exactly eventful, on top of him merely just tagging along with other people and observing them instead of being directly involved. So, he just enjoyed the others' stories and shared laughs with them. That was, until someone brought up the question he didn't think he had been dreading this entire time.
"So, where is Hayami, huh, Chiba?" It was Okajima.
"Hm?" For a moment, he was completely confused why he asked him of all people, and that was also when he realized that the said girl wasn't present in the room, or rather in this gathering at all. The rest were murmuring and nodding along Okajima, going all 'yeah' and 'weird.'
"I was hoping to see her cool beauty again, you know! I haven't seen her in so long!"
Chiba lightly placed his hand over his mouth. "I, uh, I don't know."
His friends showed dumb incredulous looks that he couldn't help but sweat. Okajima continued, "What! How could you not know! Weren't you two like, kinda close? You guys were always quiet but were always together anyway! We thought you two kept contact at least." Oh, right. "We practically expected you two would come here together." They laughed a little.
Chiba cracked a nervous smile. He didn't know how to respond to that, so he just kept quiet and silently wished the conversation would move on, because he didn't know if he should be glad that Hayami wasn't around yet or horrified that he didn't notice. In a stroke of luck, they figured they couldn't continue with this line of conversation, so they ended up jumping to a different topic, albeit slightly related (i.e. the different kind of beauties Okajima's high school had to offer). He inwardly sighed in relief.
In an opposite stroke of luck, someone else's voice rang throughout the room, interrupting all ongoing discussion.
"Oh, guys, she came!" Kimura exclaimed. He was by the windows, and he could see the mountain path leading to the school building. A number of people stood up to see who 'she' was, and a couple of them excitedly went out to greet her. Chiba took note of Yada and Kurahashi. He could already feel the anxiety swimming in his stomach bubbling into quiet panic.
"Hayami's here!"
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She hadn't changed much, he thought. Despite the panic that he felt towards her, Chiba stood up from his seat and ran off with the others outside. Going out to greet her is the least I can do, he logically reasoned himself, but he knew full well it was purely out of reflex that he also went out. Maybe he just wanted to see her again, after all this time. Partly curious if she would be angry at him, just like Maehara, or if she would just shrug it off, like Sugaya and the others.
He stood at the back of the crowd, watching everyone else greet her while he ended up scrutinizing her appearance. The only prominent things he noticed was that her hair, still put up in pigtails, was a little longer than the last time he saw her, and her smile that seemed to brighten as she saw her old friends come out of the building to greet her. Still, he managed to catch a glimpse of unease on her face, or maybe that was just him.
He saw Maehara walk up to her, and for a moment, he wondered if he was also planning to attack her out of nowhere. Maehara told her a compliment, she smiled a little and regarded him with a nod, and he walked off. Chiba caught himself pouting a little at the unfairness of the world.
The former class representatives also greeted her, taking note of her lateness and disclosing their worry that they thought she wasn't attending. She apologized and briefly explained that she had other things to deal with earlier. After that, the girls were hounding her with questions, some he couldn't make out, but it was the general gist of 'it's been so long' and 'where have you been.' He didn't realize that he was slowly stepping closer to the front until green eyes met his own red ones, under his bangs.
He felt his own bones jump out of his skin at the eye contact, and not knowing what else to do, his face reflexively twisted into a nervous smile, holding up a hand awkwardly as if saying hi. That moment felt like a minute, and she just looked at him, and then promptly turned her attention back to her friends who were still chattering around her with reckless abandon. He turned to stone.
Struck by an unbelievable sense of awkwardness like never before, he put his hand down in almost-shame. By God, he can only pray nobody else saw that, or if anyone did, would be considerate enough not to point it out to him or anyone else. With a mix of embarrassment and guilt washing over him, he felt himself flush a little and he rubbed at his face.
Because Hayami Rinka straight up just ignored him.
No wave back or smile or nod or even a glare; just that one look, to recognize that he was Chiba Ryuunosuke, and that he is the person she should not look at. Suddenly, he couldn't look at her anymore, and he kept looking everywhere to avoid another awkward eye contact. That one un-replied message had come back to bite him months later, and he couldn't believe a simple "Are you free this afternoon?" would end up straining his relationship with the one he used to consider his closest friend. All of them, subtle, and he could be overthinking right now, but his panic was making it a little hard to think straight.
In the end, it lasted for just a while, and he managed to calm himself down. Thinking logically, professionally, cooly: Yeah, I really need to talk to her later and apologize. Giving Hayami a last once-over, he steeled himself once again and hoped that fate would give him the opportunity to talk with her alone later, without the prying eyes of his former classmates.
They then all went back inside the building, chatted a bit more, and then started the cleaning.
.
Fate wasn't so forgiving after all, because he was struggling to find Hayami on her own.
He supposed that was given anyway; they were cleaning up the mountain, and everyone was all over the place. He was mostly assigned to the building itself, tasked to find if the structure was already in danger of collapsing. He was still in high school and didn't really have proper architectural knowledge yet, but he had once asked Ukai, one of Karasuma's subordinates, about it before. He did his own research as well. Pulling out his notes from his bag, he was roaming around the building while also looking for Hayami.
He didn't know exactly where she was assigned, but he saw her practically everywhere, from cleaning their old classroom to fixing the holes on the roof to sweeping the fields. Despite that, it also meant there were other people around her, and he couldn't will himself to approach them, knowing especially that Hayami was giving him the cold shoulder. He probably needed to muster up extra courage to keep going in the likely event that she wouldn't even look at him when he'd call out to her.
He thought about talking to her during lunch, but as soon as he thought about how to do so, he immediately discarded the idea because it had an even worse environment. Sure enough, when lunch came and everyone was taking a break, they were all grouped together in their own circle of friends, and it gave him even less openings to talk to Hayami without getting the attention of the sleazy eyes of the class.
He quietly ate his food, silently panicking at the thought that they would all end up parting ways without him even resolving this particular 'conflict' with her. It was even plausible that his cowardly ways would end up with another year of no communication with the class and with her, and he didn't want that to happen again. Looking at his wristwatch, he figured his last shot would probably be on their way home.
Which he thought would've been, if a familiar lazy-sounding voice suddenly didn't speak up.
"Heyy, since we're all here anyway, shouldn't we all go hang out later as a class for old time's sake?" Karma's voice was laced with mischief, as if he had a hidden agenda behind his suggestion. Despite that, everyone did perk up at him.
"That sounds like a great idea!" Sugino seconded. Nagisa and Kayano, who were next to him, seemed to like the idea as well, but it was clear on their faces that they were worried about the one who suggested it first.
"Huh? What's this about now? Hanging out? Don't mess with me!" Terasaka was the one who voiced out their worries. "You of all people suggesting that means you're probably planning something else! You're gonna have us distract the police while you rob a bank or something!"
Karma's eyes lit up. "Oh, actually, that sounds like a good idea. Thanks, Terasaka."
Some voices simultaneously shot down Terasaka to not give him any more ideas, and the big guy could only yell back, "I didn't mean it like that, dumbass!"
The sound of laughter rang in the room for a while, until Nagisa spoke up to continue the discussion. "What did you want to do though, Karma?"
Taking it as a question of both skepticism and genuine curiosity of his plans, he replied, "Contrary to popular belief, I really just wanted to unwind a little and have fun~" He shrugged. "All the guys in Kunugigaoka are so stiff and boring, you know. Maybe we could go to that new arcade on the other side of town that opened up a few weeks ago!" Chiba noticed Karma glance over at Kanzaki briefly. "I've always wanted to see how bad you guys are at games!"
It seemed it wasn't only Chiba who noticed, but also Nagisa, both of whom immediately understood that while Karma was genuine in his desire to play games, it was also because he wanted to compete with Kanzaki. The latter was incredibly skilled in gaming, and it seemed the redhead wanted to test it out as he never had the chance to before.
People were murmuring amongst themselves, pondering about Karma's suggestion, and Chiba silently wished that it wouldn't go off, at least not right now. He wanted to go and hang out, but it'd make it harder for him to approach Hayami if they kept moving in groups. He could do it when they're finally going home from the arcade, but since it would be their first time going there, it's likely that everyone would end up going home in groups as well. He scratched the back of his head.
Suddenly, his saving grace spoke up. "Ah, sorry, Karma, but I can't go right now," Isogai held up a hand as if he was reciting, with an apologetic smile on his face. "I've got a test next week, and final exams are also coming up, so I have to study."
The murmurs increased in volume at the mention of final exams, and it seemed like everyone had a sudden realization that, that's right, exams are coming up. Karma scoffed a little, "Eh, it's just today anyway~ You guys can ace those exams, no prob."
"Says the laidback genius!" Almost everyone simultaneously exclaimed, and Karma just stuck out his tongue.
At that point, a good portion decided not to go because of varying reasons, mostly due to studying. Chiba had a different reason, but he remained quiet till the final verdict for the hang out was reached.
"Well, you guys can go back to your rooms to study if you want! We're gonna go have some fun!" Muramatsu's voice stood out among the other group of people who didn't mind going to the arcade, and Chiba could only wish that in Hayami's silence, she wasn't opting to join them. Some of the girls were in the to-not-go group, so maybe she wouldn't as well.
"Suit yourself then," Karma slumped on his seat. "You guys have fun in the arcade."
There was a moment of silence, before everyone erupted, going, "Wait, you're not going?! Wasn't this your idea?!"
He was forced to explain himself, naturally. "Well, it wouldn't be a class trip if not everyone's coming, so what's the point~ We can just move it at a later date, after the exams!"
After that initial surprise, everyone was nodding amongst themselves, but to Chiba and Nagisa, they just sighed as they looked over at Kanzaki, who had decided not to go despite her love for games because she wanted to focus on studying. Guess there's no point in 'hanging out' if his primary target wasn't around.
In the end, it was decided that they would all go gaming after the final exams, the exact date to be announced in the group chat later. Those who still wanted to hang out by themselves later could do so on their own; no one was stopping them. Chiba could only sigh in relief, but of course, that didn't mean there weren't any other obstacles in the way in his quest to talk to Hayami. After everything was done, it was practically do-or-die time.
Break ended, and what was left were just the finishing touches of their cleaning; after that, they were free to go. Chiba seized the opportunity and quickly finished arranging the seats in the classroom with Takebayashi, before grabbing his bag and walking off to find the stoic girl. Wishing that she hadn't gone home yet or gone off with her friends, she looked around the building, passing by the others while acting as if he wasn't looking for someone.
And for the first time, surprisingly, he finally found her alone in the field, her handbag tucked under her arm, where she seemed to be staring off into the mountain trees, deep in thought. He immediately ran off towards her; was it anticipation or his frustrations of not having been able to approach her until now? He saw her turning around in his direction, and he didn't realize his steps were loud enough for her to notice him when he was still meters away from her.
Her face was seemingly stoic, but he saw the surprise in her eyes, and she took a step back as if she wanted to run. Wait!
She froze, and it took him a moment to realize that he had said that out loud. He then stood in front of her, a distance away as he tried to catch his breath. His lips were formed into a thin line; now that she was actually in front of him, suddenly his mind went blank, and it seemed like all the detailed thoughts he had before had simply vanished to leave him to his own devices.
She looked at him, and despite her attempts to hide it, it was painfully obvious to him by how her eyes struggled to stay on him, how her frown was a little too strained, and how she fiddled with the sides of her skirt. She was confused, uneasy, and quite anxious—much like him. Neither said a word for a long while, and although the danger of one of them running away had gone, the uncomfortable silence between them hung over like a heavy blanket.
This was the worst time to draw a blank. Shit. He had to say something. Anything.
Clenching both of his fists a little too tight, he noticed her do the same in response, and then he took a breath, before shoving his head forward a little too fast in a bow. In the end, he could only say what he had been saying to the others:
"Sorry!"
He blinked a few times. Looking up a little to face her again and to confirm his suspicions, he was surprised to see that he was right—that he heard two voices instead of just one, his own. Staring at Hayami's own surprised eyes, he noted that she was also in a half-bow, very much in the same position as his as they both realized that they had just apologized to each other at the same time.
Opening his mouth as if to say something, he closed it back again as he scratched the back of his head, while she looked at the side, rubbing her cheek with her finger. The atmosphere was still a little tense, but it seemed to let up a little, both amused at their own synchronized apology.
Straightening themselves back up again, Chiba took a few cautious steps forward to shorten the distance between them, and Hayami showed no signs of flinching, to his relief. Both were still quite awkward with their miniscule fidgeting, and though they were trying to show a smile to try and ease the other, their lips just seemed to purse together. It was only the sound of rustling leaves until Hayami broke the silence first.
"I shouldn't have ignored you," she muttered, her eyes down, but eventually managed to connect with his own despite his hair. He was tempted to ask if she meant the year of no communication or what happened earlier; he was smart enough to know that she meant the latter. "It was petty of me."
"…No worries," He took note of her words. I probably deserved it anyway.
"Still." It was childish, and you were so worked up.
He let out a defeated huff, and finally managed to show a smile. Fine. I still think you didn't do anything wrong though.
She smiled back, even if she couldn't read his thoughts.
Chiba's smile quickly dropped though, and it confused her a little, before it dawned upon her as he nervously rubbed at the back of his neck that, right, he had been looking to talk to her the entire day (She did notice, after all, and had been trying to find the right place for just the two of them; it just proved difficult because their classmates just seemed to pop out anywhere. Thankfully, now that everyone was busy discussing about what they should do for the afternoon, she was able to create the moment).
"I, uh," he stuttered out, eyes darting to the side, not that she would notice in plain sight (though she could guess by his gestures). "This entire time, I also… shouldn't have—"
Her hand had suddenly touched his arm, and even though it was brief, like a gentle tap, it was enough to snap him out of his bundle of nerves. He didn't even notice that she had stepped forward towards him. She gave him a look, before her lips curved a little—a face that he knew all too well.
I know.
His face, entire body, finally seemed to relax a little, as if he didn't notice how tense he was the entire time. He let out a small sigh, and managed to give her a bashful look. This time, he said it out loud, "Thank you."
She nodded, and stepped back a little to respect both of their personal spaces. He also took it as a sign to continue, and so he did, even if that wasn't her intention. "I, uh, still want to say sorry though…"
She blinked, and his hand was back on his nape. "I should've at least… messaged you back. I ended up making it hard for the both of us after that." He was bowing a little, and before Hayami could retort, he straightened back up. "It was just that… uh, I just…"
She stared at him for a while before she let out a breath. She gave him a nervous smile as she held on to her forearm.
"…It's okay." She was looking at him, and then her eyes cast down. "I know how you feel."
He blinked, wondering how to process her words when it hit him, almost painfully obvious to the face. For a moment, he felt dumb as to why he didn't think she would also feel that way, given they both seemed to be the same socially clumsy sort of people. Still, he didn't want to assume now of all times, even if that was their thing, their quiet understanding.
"You mean…?" He nudged her on. She merely nodded.
"Yada, Kurahashi, even Nakamura, they were really worried," The guilt was plastered on her face, and he had the urge to pat her back. He hesitated. "I suppose not contacting them for a year wasn't the best course of action, though it was… unintentional."
Chiba fought the urge to smile; it would be the worst time to do so, given the topic, so he settled with lightly covering his mouth with his hand. Still, he couldn't stop the wave of relief washing over him, at the thought that, ah, it wasn't just him after all. A little selfish, he noted, but nonetheless still made him a little glad.
Hayami, as expected, noticed. She gave him a nervous smile. Almost reflexively, he let out the smile he had been restraining. For that moment, it seemed like time had stopped and simultaneously flashed back, to the scenery of an island, uniform seats in a concert hall, gunshots from real guns, and anxiety turned to relief, at the thought that they could rely on others. That they weren't alone.
They were brought back to the present a split-second after, breaking out into quiet laughter as they both came to the same realization, and that how could they forget, after all this time. It was then quiet for a while, until it was Chiba who spoke again.
"So… we were both distant from the others for a year…" He tried to choose his words carefully; he didn't want to sound too self-centered. "Then that message…?"
Hayami nodded, though she did seem a little bashful. "I wanted to try and break the ice," She paused, and he waited for her to continue. "…And I thought I'd start with you. We seemed… similar, after all." We did understand each other the most.
Chiba gave a slow nod, and then looked down a little in shame. All that, and in the end, he ended up ignoring her for months. They descended into another exchange of "Sorry" and "It's fine." The field darkened a little as clouds covered the sun momentarily.
It was quiet again, this time a little longer, but the awkwardness had lifted, and it was a somewhat comfortable silence now. Still, they fidgeted a little as they stood, when Hayami suddenly turned around, facing the mountain trees once again. Chiba just stared at her back in confusion, until he realized the familiar area she was looking at, and he understood immediately.
To the normal eye, it was just an empty space at the side of the field, but to them, it was where the target practice boards used to be propped up, where they used to practice shooting more than a year ago. He figured the said targets were either stored in the shed or had long since been thrown away; he hadn't checked, so he wasn't sure.
"Are you…" Hayami's voice suddenly snapped him out of his nostalgia. "…free this afternoon?"
He blinked, and then he couldn't help but let out a small laugh at her choice of words. She had turned around, a gentle smile on her face.
"Yeah," he finally replied, he thought, after so long. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder, already knowing what she—they wanted to do. "Shooting range?"
She nodded, and he swore he could see the relief and excitement on her face. He supposed he was the same as well. His fingers had been itching the entire time, longing to hold that familiar gun he was accustomed to. He briefly wondered if his shooting skills had gone rusty after a year of no practice, and he wondered if it was the same for her. Maybe.
He glanced at her hands and fingers; not delicate, and may have been doing a lot of work.
…Maybe.
He tried to shrug it off, though he did feel as if his title of #1 sniper was being threatened a little. They'd find out later when they're finally in the shooting range, and he figured he'd have to put in more effort than usual.
They started walking off back towards the old building, conversing with each other about which shooting range they'd go to, and who their adult supervisor should be (they were still underage after all, and they couldn't go to a shooting range on their own; last year, they had one of Karasuma's subordinates to go with them for practice, but they figured they couldn't bother them from now on since the assassination was already long over). And then without a word, with just their hands up to indicate they were separating for a while, they went to find their respective group of friends to say their goodbyes. They didn't need to, but after all this time, it was the least they could do for them.
After dodging the questions of where they would be, who they'd be with, and what they'd be up to from their friends, they finally managed to meet up again by the mountain path. Regarding each other with a nod, they also sported a small smile, before they started walking down the path together.
Even if his worries had already disappeared after having that talk with her, a single one remained, his social clumsiness troubling him at the back of his mind: This was the first time in a long time, but was this going to end up being the last time they'll spend time together?
"Are you going to the arcade after finals?" Hayami inquired, almost in an inviting manner.
Oh. He smiled. "Yeah. You?"
"…Same."
Well, he supposed not.
.
close to 8k words wow! a record-breaker for me. well then, see u next time, probably!