We need to talk

by la-perla's mermaid

Nick is about to learn that a break up can be as painful as it can be enlightening. You don't know how much someone means to you until you're about to loose them

We need to talk

Author's note: for those of you who might be interested, I'm also working for a sequel to "The monster".

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, don't make any money, don't sue.

…..

I sit next to my partner in our favorite café, the place is crowded as usual with many mammals of medium size going on their daily routine. It's not exactly a cop riddled place and I guess that's part of its charm, it helps us decompress from our regular work. Today isn't exactly a good day, we failed to catch the suspect of a string of robberies in Sahara and without any leads for the last week, our chief was forced to consider it a cold case until more evidence is discovered or another robbery happens. This is one of the lowest points in our somewhat brief career as cops, and it's my entire fault I let the suspect go away.

Scratch that, today is gonna be an awful day, I know that because I can see the thoughts running around Judy's head. I know why she has been so distant with me lately and why she has so much trouble looking at me in the eyes, I can see her struggling with bringing the subject she needs to discuss with me, the reason she invited me to my favorite place and offered to pay the bill. Usually I would bring the issue to light while saying a joke to lighten the mood, but the last thing on my mind right now is humor and I can't help the wave of dread to clutch on my chest at what it's about to happen.

-"Nick, we need to talk"- I hear her breaking the awkward silence that fell upon us; her voice seems broken and resolute at the same time.

-"I know Carrots"- I barely said a word yet I'm already struggling not to let my eyes water, it takes a lot of willpower not to show her how scared and hurt I am right now.

-"We can't keep going like this, you're not happy and I'm not happy either with the way things are going on between us. I'm sorry but I think it would be best if we…"-

"No fluff, please don't say that" a puny voice in my head pleads, at least I manage enough composure not to say that out loud, at least I can retain some semblance of dignity.

-"Find another partner to work with from now on"- She finishes the sentence and I almost feel like she plunged a dagger right into my chest.

I've seen this coming for a while now, after playing this scenario over and over in my head I thought I was ready to hear it but I was wrong, it hurts even more than I imagined. –"I know I haven't been the best partner sometimes, especially since I…"- my voice trails off because of the guilt that plagues me, all of this is my fault and I know it. I'm the one that has been slaking off and letting Judy pick up the pieces of my many screw ups, to the point that she has had to take the blame of my mistakes so I don't get fired. If anything it's a surprise she was able to pull my dead weight for so long.

-"Since you fell in love with Veronica"- The cute bunny finishes my sentence with a warm smile –"Nick I understand! Relationships need a lot of time and energy, especially when you are courting someone. It's not like you can't be a cop and a good boyfriend at the same time, but you know we don't get the simple cases anymore. If we want to solve them we need to spend lots of hours not only on duty but also at our own home, analyzing every single piece of evidence one by one, you know how it is. We used to stay up all night reviewing files, making theories and bouncing ideas while drinking bad coffee, remember those days?"- Her purple eyes shine at the memories of our many "sleepovers" where we never actually slept; instead we used to hang by my place surrounded by papers, photos and files. I had never worked so hard in my life, there were times when her interminable energy got on my nerves but nobody could argue with the results. Back then our arrest record was spotless.

-"Good times"- I manage to smile by saying this, yes we were burning the candle on both ends but I have to admit it was kinda fun. It wasn't that long ago when it was just me and my bunny partner, making the world a better place one arrest at a time.

Her soft tiny paw rests over mine with a friendly pat –"This is a good thing Slick. You're in a serious relationship with a kind, gorgeous and brilliant vixen. You're moving on to other things; before you know it you'll be a dad and settle forming a very nice family. Besides, it's not like you can't be a good cop and a family mammal too, you just need to find a balance into it"-

Everyone is telling me that I'm gonna marry Veronica and have kits with her, normally that would be ridiculous since we have only been dating for four months, but at 34 I'm way past the age to settle and my girlfriend is an accomplished brain surgeon that comes from a wealthy family and looks like a model. She's the kind of vixen you don't break up with, when a female like that bothers to show interest in you, the only logical course of action is to cling to her and don't let go.

But courting someone takes a lot more time than I thought and without realizing I have been stalling my partner, the only thing that hurts more than Carrot's rejection is the fact that I do deserve it, but I just can't let things go so easily -"Then why are you leaving me? If there's a possibility that I can manage to be with Veronica and be a good cop then why are you dumping me for another partner?"- I say raising my voice with an angry snarl, there goes the cool image I was trying to reflect on her, to hell with the "don't let them see that they get to you" mantra. MY partner is leaving me behind and that pisses me off, it GETS to me in so many ways I can hardly express them right now.

I see her tense, her spine gets ramrod straight, her ears hi and alert to full attention. Those violet eyes go from warm to fiery infernos in a split second, she has that look that makes giant predators and megafauna alike to cower in fear, only I can face it unfazed after seeing it so many times and live to tell the tale.

-"Nicholas you ARE a good cop, you will always be. But that isn't good enough for me, I didn't get where I am being just good, I had to be exceptional just to get what larger average mammals on the force take for granted. All my life I fought for my career and I can't allow it to stale right now, someday I will be the best and most accomplished police officer Zootopia has ever seen, I will make the world a better place. If I want to pull that off we both know there is gonna be a lot more effort than anyone else, my goals require lots of time and energy and I need a partner who can keep up, not someone that drags me behind"-

That hurt, a lot. The worst part of it is that she's right I have been dragging her behind; we went from an almost perfect record of closed cases to an average of fifty percent, which means that lately we only catch half the criminals we used to.

-"Tell me then Officer Fluff, what will happen when you fall in love? Will your precious career be put on hold as well? Or will you drag that poor buck around the precinct so he can wait until you're done from your 24 hour shifts?"- I growl with venom at her cute little white muzzle, the mature part of my brain keeps telling me I should let it go, leave this workaholic bunny get another partner and move on with my life, but that's not the part in charge. The one that's pulling the strings right now is the immature fox kit that finally made a friend after years of loneliness and thinks that a tantrum will get her back.

-"Chief Bogo told me once: you can have a family and a career, but you can only be truly committed to one of them. If I ever get into a relationship with someone he will have to understand that I will always choose my job over everything else"- Her voice is cold and determined, this is obviously a subject she has thought about with great care.

-"Good luck with that one Carrots, I don't think you'll ever find someone like that"- I know I'm being petty but I'm too wounded to care. I feel acid rage boiling in my gut at the suspicion that the old buffalo butt might be to blame for Judy's decision, after two years of being the picture perfect officer he has warmed up to her while my sly tongue has ruffled his fur several times, it's likely that he wants his pet bunny to have a better partner than the shifty fox she chose for herself.

-"Maybe I won't, but if I want to achieve my goals that's a price I'm willing to pay. I'm not an idiot Nick, I know it's not easy for a doe like me to find someone that puts up with my temper; it is very possible I'll never marry or have kits. You know, I think I'm okay with that"- Her ears droop and her eyes turn sad, purple orbs distant while she looks at the window, the scenario she described isn't a pretty one but I know she was honest when she said she had come to terms with it. -"Nick, it doesn't have to be like this, we can still be friends."- She says trying to change the subject.

I slam my paw on the table and storm off out of the café, I know… I know… it's not a mature way to end a partnership that lasted almost two years and changed my life for the better. I have to admit that the little gray bunny I left weeping on the table always managed to make huge impact on my whole being, she always got to me and that could be as exciting as it could be awful.

I spend the next hours sulking in my apartment, I tried to get rid of everything in it that reminded me of Judy but the sole thought of dumping her lovely photos into the trash had me curling into a ball on the floor and crying like a kit. It dawns on me that this is even worse than the time we fought after her press conference, back then I had only spent 48 hours with her and still she had left such a mark on me that I spent the next three months sulking in the corners of the city and fiddling with the carrot pen, the only physical token I had left from her. Now I have spent the larger amount of my day either hanging or working with her for two years, including the academy where I used to chat with her through muzzle time every day. This time I won't see her adorable purple eyes filled with tears and asking for forgiveness, this time she is the one leaving from my life.

I tried to drink the pain away but instead of finding a numbing buzz, the whiskey I gulped made me hallucinate a glimpse of the future. Tomorrow she will start with her new partner and a new dynamic duo will break havoc on the criminal world, at first she will still hang out with me from time to time but between my own personal life and her grueling work schedule that will happen with less frequency as time goes by.

Fast forward to a few years later and I'll probably be a dad, my lovely wife by my side and my kits frolicking around our feet. I will see Judy pass by, probably wearing a nice suit either as a star detective or if she is ambitious enough, a standard ZBI black one. As I wave shyly at her she will not even raise her cute little face to acknowledge me, not because of scorn or indifference but because she will be so focused on the job at paw that she won't bother to look at her surroundings. I will be in her memory nothing but another item on her long list of good deeds, a fox she dragged from the gutter and turned into a decent mammal before she grew bored with him and moved on to more challenging goals.

That night I did not sleep.

It is four AM, the alarm clock at my bedside table glares in my dark room. Instead of sleeping I find myself sitting on the edge of my bed, a crazy stupid plan has sprouted in my mind and I feel like I have no choice but to follow it, even when common sense is screaming at me not to.

Two hours later I walk into the precinct and wait patiently for the Chief to arrive, my uniform is spotless and every strand on my fur was combed and put in place. The large buffalo has the habit of coming to work earlier than all the cops on the day schedule, it allows him to assess the reports from the night shift and then keep a close eye on the precinct in its most vulnerable time, which is when the shift changes and there are fewer officers working.

You could set your clock by the punctuality in with that buffalo steps inside the precinct, he is understandably surprised to see the lazy fox that always shows up a little late to the bullpen at his workplace earlier than ever and looking more professional that he has ever been on his whole life. He walks up to me with a raised eyebrow between surprised and bemused –"Officer Wilde, may I ask why you are here so early?"-

-"Sir, we need to talk"- I tell him respectfully even when it takes a lot of self control not to snarl on his face, I can't help feeling angry at him for separating my Carrots from me. I can tell by his eye roll that he knows what the problem is.

I didn't expect Bogo to just agree on keeping me and Judy together on the sole promise that I would behave nicely this time, as we sit on opposite sides on his desk behind the closed doors of the office he merely gives me a file.-"A very promising cadet has graduated last week, the second fox to enter the force, his name is Alexander Winters. But unlike the first one to achieve that distinction this one has a spotless record, speaks three languages and served in the military for three years so he has ample combat experience. So I ask you Wilde, why shouldn't I pair my most promising officer on the force with him instead of a slacker whose mistakes had let more criminals free than an unscrupulous lawyer!"- He shouted the last part of his speech with his nostrils flaring and his snout blows a puff of hot air inches from mine, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest since loud and angry is his default mode.

I look at the file in my paws, the picture of a marble fox in his mid twenties with a proud smile on his muzzle that seems to mock me, along with the words "exemplary" "commendable" and "heroic" that crowd the first page of his application and the many recommendation letters that lie behind.

My head begs me to apologize and leave the chief's office before I lose my job for wasting his time, I have a good steady job and a great girlfriend, there's no point in risking both by chasing a dumb bunny that doesn't even want to be with me anymore.

My heart keeps reminding me of how much it hurts to lose said bunny and how important she has been in my life, it even threatens to make me cry in front of buffalo butt if I don't bend to its will.

My gut has the final say with an argument not even my brain dares to deny, it basically growls: Will you let that buffalo give your rabbit away to that other fox? It's your catch, your prey to keep.

Just like that I enter the "slick nick" mode, my unreachable smug mask firmly in place, as I idly thumb through the file. Then I tell the impatient chief in front of me –"He is a fine specimen I have to admit, and yes his record IS clean, too bad his daddy's isn't. Winters is an interesting last name for our future colleague, somehow it reminds me of a ruthless warlord named Alfred Winters, he was also a marble fox that ran several let's say… underground operations in Tundratown until he had a nasty encounter with Mr. Big and he was forced to scale back on his enterprises. I don't know chief, being linked to a mammal as ruthless as "nasty Al" if I'm correct that was his nickname, seems more dangerous than the few pawpsickle hustles and minor infractions on my record"-

Bogo grumbles while pinching the bridge of his nose, I can tell he's not surprised at my revelation. –"We cannot judge a mammal for his parents' wrongdoings"- He admits sadly.

I do have to agree on that one, Veronica is actually a similar case, since the fortune her family achieved and raised her in was obtained for less than moral means. When all foxes are seen as liabilities and untrustworthy the easiest way to amass a fortune is by the unlawful way, but instead of following the family business she chose to study and pursue a career completely opposite to her parent's. She might have come from a shifty past but she became an honest mammal on her own right. Alexander Winters might be a similar case and I have no trouble with him working for the ZPD, I just can't handle the thought of another fox taking my place and keeping my bunny, that's not how canides work, we can't just bow down to another male fox and let him have what is ours.

-"True, and it would be a shame if word got out that this exemplary officer is working with his pops using his badge to bend the laws at his whim"- After the veiled threat I backpedal a little, if I push the chief into a corner he might be forced to throw me out, literally. –"Look chief I know I have been too distracted to do my job properly but that is over now, let me get my partner back and I'll prove it."-

Groaning Bogo gives me his "dead serious" stare, which is just a little more grumpy than his normal expression -"There is a string of violent robberies in the Rainforest District, you and Hopps can have the case, BUT if you don't solve it in 48 hours she will be assigned with Winters and you can bet your pelt they will solve it. It is obvious that if there is even a microscopic mistake made during the investigation, you will be the one that will be made responsible for it. Dismissed"- The irascible buffalo points at the door with a menacing claw and I take my queue to get out of there.

By the time roll call comes around I have already read and analyzed the case file, Judy walks into the bullpen with an apprehensive demeanor and looks at me sitting in our usual chair at the front as I have always done. On the desk right next to mine there is a fresh faced marble fox that waves at my partner with a wag on his extra fluffy tail, inviting her to sit next to him.

-"Over here Carrots"- I fail to sound friendly while patting the empty space in my oversized chair, the low growl inside my throat makes it harder to sound pleasing. Lowering her ears she shyly sits next to me but she seems happy that I'm not acting angry at her anymore, her sweet smile and her bright eyes melt my previous anger, I have just taken the craziest decision in my life yet now I feel like I did the right thing.

It was funny to see her shocked expression when the chief assigned her with me on a big case and didn't pair her up to the younger fox; it was also satisfying to see the puzzled expression on Winters as he was paired with Wolford.

-"Nick, what did you do?"- She angrily whispered once we left the bullpen

I told her about our arrangement with the chief as she was flabbergasted. –"We have talked about it before, you always promise you'll work harder but every time she calls you just run off to her! I can't keep covering for you so you can go on a date"- Her nose twitches like crazy and her huge eyes are watering, have I known how much my past behavior had hurt her I would have stopped it a long time ago, but all the times I went off to my girlfriend she always seemed happy to help. Crap, and I always bragged at how good I was reading other mammals. How many times did Judy say everything was fine when it really wasn't? How much did she have to bottle up until it all exploded and she decided to break our team?

When I crouch so my muzzle is at her level my voice turns serious and drops every pretense of sarcasm or wit, I need her to know how important this is for me-"This time it's different fluff, I learned my lesson. You're right it doesn't have to be this way. I don't have to be the one that lags behind because of a pretty vixen I met. I won't let my personal life interfere with our work anymore, from now on I'm gonna work as hard as you, I'll prove everyone I'm more than an unreliable fox. As of today your career goals are my goals as well, one day when you get to the top you won't have to look down on me because I'll be right by your side, heh maybe I'll be above you now that I think about it"- only at the last sentence I dare to give her a half confident smile.

Her watering eyes turn into a tiny flood, but the expression in them goes from despair to hope and joy, as she cries she practically barges into me and hugs me tight –"My old partner is finally back! I missed you so much you dumb fox"- she says sobbing.

-"You dumb bunny"- I say gently as my arms wrap around her and my paws rub her droopy ears –"Why didn't you tell me this was so difficult for you?"-

-"You were happy! I couldn't get in the way of that! I thought I could do my job and help you with yours but it got so hard"- She babbles and wails while burrowing deeper into my torso. –"What will happen the next time Veronica calls?"- Her blunt claws dig further into my uniform and her eyes look at me with dread.

-"She will have to understand that I'm committed to my job, if she doesn't agree with that…"- I say sighing as my paw finds its place below her chin and lifts her head up so I can look at her in the eye –"It's a price I'm willing to pay"-

The squeaky loud awwww that pierces our eardrums brings us back to the present and I see Clawhauser and several other officers recording what we thought was a private conversation with their cell phones, too late I remember that our offices are just a few panels scattered in a square shape were larger mammals have no trouble peeking, we'll be sprawled all over ewetube within minutes. I shrug off the awkwardness by telling my partner –"Let's get to work shall we?"-

{Five weeks later}

That case was closed after five days with a jaguar and a capybara imprisoned after the large amount of evidence we gathered, way over the 48 hour deadline the chief gave me, but in his defense when he saw me pulling my own weight and working my tail off along with Carrots to solve it he didn't follow on his threat and let me get my partner. Three days after the case was solved Veronica broke up with me.

You are in for a rude awakening when the thought of losing a bunny turns you into an emotional crybaby yet braking up with an almost perfect vixen only causes a dull ache and disappointment. Unlike Judy when Veronica left me I let her go. Her words are still running around on my head -"I'm not leaving you because you chose your career over your personal life, as someone with a profession like mine, I do understand what that is like. But all that is a load of BS, you're not choosing your job over your private life, you're choosing her over me"-

Yep, Veronica had no trouble with me working extra hours, she dumped me for the stupid video of me pouring my heart over Carrots and hugging her for almost ten minutes that caught fire on the web, we'll be the "sappy lovebird police duo" for the rest of our miserable lives. Looking at it she does have a point, in the video I'm hugging Judy like it was the last time I would see her, even my tail curled around her tiny waist. In the meantime the lovable fluff ball in my arms shakes her cotton tail and burrows into me with all the strength those fuzzy arms of her can muster. We look like the main characters of a rom-com ten minutes before the movie ends, especially after Clawhauser edited it and added little animated hearts and butterflies while romantic music sings in the background, how subtle right? We both looove the red roses our coworkers keep dumping on our desk and the red hearts they draw on our lockers while they snicker at our expense.

Which bring us to my current dilemma, for all the annoyance we've been going through I have to admit they all might be right, maybe I didn't realize how much I care for Judy until I almost lost her. She always knew I loved her, just not exactly THAT way, yet now I feel this has happened for a reason.

Today we are patrolling over Sahara square, my gaze drifts over the windshield and after a long moment of silence, I finally gather enough courage to say –"Carrots?"-

-"Yeah Nick?"-

-"What if everyone's right about us? Would you actually consider going on a date with me?"-

When I asked her for a date she didn't know if I was joking, considering how our video turned us into a laughing stock I can't blame her, but now that I told her I was serious her ears blush a deep pink and her nose twitches uncontrollably.

-"Think about it, you said yourself it would be difficult for you to find a guy that could put up with your career chasing. I'm actually okay with that!"- I say trying to convince her without being pushy.

-"Are you actually attracted to me? I thought you liked vixens"- She said skeptical.

-"You're an attractive female, even a tod like me can see that. I just thought it would be nice, we spend so much time together anyways. What would be the harm in trying it?"-

Rolling her eyes Judy shakes her head –"I don't think it's wise Nick, what if it doesn't work out?"-

-"Then we'll get back to being just partners, if it works then great but if not we'll figure something out. We'll always be partners Judy, no matter what happens"- I try to take the pressure out of the situation, things are awkward enough as it is. Besides one thing I have proven her is that I'll do anything to be her partner, we will always work together no matter what lies ahead.

The way her cute fluffy face blushes and her eyes light up fills my stomach with giddy warmth, her ears droop somewhat shyly but her muzzle gives me a flirty smile that make my lips curl upwards in a likely goofy grin.

-"Okay"- It's all she mutters, yet that single word somehow brings me so much joy I have trouble keeping my tail from wagging and thumping on the cruiser's seats.

Aside from the typical nervousness that comes from a first date with someone you love (we have loved each other for two years, we only had trouble realizing that it could be also in a romantic way) somehow we're pretty at ease about it, no matter what happens in the future we are, and always will be, partners.