Title: Home
Author: Stephanie Honey
Disclaimer: Spike, Buffy and the BtVS characters are not mine. But oh the thing I would do to Spike if he was mine. ;)
Distribution: Fan Fiction Lovers
Rating: uummm… PG
Spoilers: I haven't seen Entropy yet but it has spoilers up to there. And some Africa spoilers, which I think we all know about, but if not then don't read.
Pairing: Spuffy!
Sites: http://ficlovers.freehosting.net/ and http://www.geocities.com/spikesophiesteph/
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Buffy kneeled by her open window. Her hands resting on the ledge and her knees tucked to her side. It had been exactly two months and five days since Spike left, two months and three days since Spike had slept with Anya… how could he? How could he do something like that!? And how come it hurt her so much? How come she missed him so much?
Up until now she had kept a hope deep inside of her. A hope that he would come back to her. A hope that he wasn't really gone. Just away…
The hope seemed to fade some days and some days it seemed to grow and give her the strength to go on. But today the hope seemed to fade completely. And she knew it wasn't going to come back. She didn't know quite what had happened that made the hope seem to disappear. Maybe it was that she had visited his crypt for the first time since he left and it seemed so empty. Maybe it was that Xander and Anya had made up and where happy again and she wasn't. Or maybe it was remembering Dawn telling her how cruel she had been to Spike. But what ever it was... the hope was gone.
Maybe it would be better with out the hope. Without it she might be able to move on instead of just waiting. That's all she had been doing, really. She had just been waiting. Waiting for him to come back. Waiting to be happy like Xander and Anya. Waiting for the hurt to go away. But it wasn't going to. He wasn't coming back, she wasn't ever going to be as happy as her friends, and the hurt… the hurt was there to stay.
----------------------------
She thought about what Dawn had said when she found out spike was gone. She had yelled at Buffy and told her she hater her. She had screamed about how much Spike loved her and how much of a bitch she had been to him and even to the Scoobies. How she was so closed of ever since they had brought her back.
It had got Buffy thinking. From then she had decided not to mope around anymore. She had started getting happier and spending more time with her friends. They all told her how sorry they where for the reaction they had toward her and Spike and that hey would support her no matter what. So Buffy slow got better. Dawn was mad at her for a while but now she was doing better and she and Buffy had weekly movies nights.
Xander forgave Anya and a few days ago they decided to try the wedding again. It was going to be a small wedding this time with only close friends. Willow had given up for good and she and Tara were in the 'lets- start-as-friend-and-then-become-more' stage.
But after all her fiends solved there problems and Buffy had gotten over the heaven thing, Spike still wasn't back. And that was one thing she didn't know how to fix. She didn't even know where he was or how to reach him. And a small part of her was still mad at him. Not so much the Anya thing anymore but that he had left her. She had been sure that he would be the one to stay. Maybe that was why she had been so cruel to him. The fact that no matter how mean she was to him he would still stay. She lighted bitterly at her actions. Thinking Spike would take all her bull shit was no reason to be a bitch to the man she loved. Loved? She did love him. She knew that now. But now it was too late to do anything about it.
Buffy's thoughts where interrupted when Dawn opened the door and stepped into the room.
"Why didn't you answer me?" Dawn questioned, "I knocked two times and nothing."
"Sorry…" Buffy sighed, "I was thinking…"
"About Spike?" Dawn came to sit next to her sister.
"The one and only," Buffy said with a noticeable longing in her voice.
The younger girl patted her sisters back and tried to reassure her, "He'll be back".
"No he won't," Buffy whispered, "I thought so… I hoped so… for a long time. But he's not coming back. I wish he was. I'd tell him that I love him and that I was as wrong as him. That I forgive him and I hope that he would forgive me too, that I want to make things right…"
"Buffy…." Dawn said looking out the window, "I think you just told him."
"What? What do you mean?" Buffy followed her sisters gaze out of the window to where Spike was standing by the old tree in the front yard. "Oh my god…" Buffy said in a disbelieving whisper..."
"I'll be in my room. After you two take tell him to come say hi to me." Dawn said with a samil as she got up to go to her room.
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Buffy jumped out of her window and ran toward Spike. She leaped up and warped her arms and legs around him. "Your back!" she said with tears in her eyes.
"Yep" Spike whispered burying his face in her shoulder, "I'm back".
After some time she pulled away from him and placed her feet back on the ground. But her arms stayed wrapped around him and their foreheads pressed against each others.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Well I was here to see you...but if you don't want me here then I can just go," he said with smile on his face as he turned around and pretender to be about to leave.
"Oh no you don't!", Buffy said with a giggle as she pulled him back to her. She knew he was just joking and he did manage to lighten up the mode considerably.
He sat down on the porch and pulled her down with him onto his lap, "So about what you said to Dawn up there…."
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"So…..you love me." Spike said with a big grin on his face as he looked at Buffy. They where laying side by side on her porch with their arms around each other.
"How many times do you need to hear it?" She faked irritably.
"About as many time as you needed to hear that I was gong to kill anyone now that I don't have the chip." He answered.
"About that…" She said, "you said you where looking for a soul. But you didn't say you had it.. do you?"
"He smiled at her. "See... I would tell you… but the sun is about to come up and I really should get home."
She looked at him for a minute and them made a decision that would change both of there lives. She didn't know why she made it. Maybe it was remembering how empty his crypt looked, maybe it was how adorable he looked lying then in her arms, or maybe it was just that she was curious about him having a soul. But whatever it was… she had made her decision. "You are home", she told him while getting up and pulling him in to her house.
The end
Author: Stephanie Honey
Disclaimer: Spike, Buffy and the BtVS characters are not mine. But oh the thing I would do to Spike if he was mine. ;)
Distribution: Fan Fiction Lovers
Rating: uummm… PG
Spoilers: I haven't seen Entropy yet but it has spoilers up to there. And some Africa spoilers, which I think we all know about, but if not then don't read.
Pairing: Spuffy!
Sites: http://ficlovers.freehosting.net/ and http://www.geocities.com/spikesophiesteph/
----------------------------------
Buffy kneeled by her open window. Her hands resting on the ledge and her knees tucked to her side. It had been exactly two months and five days since Spike left, two months and three days since Spike had slept with Anya… how could he? How could he do something like that!? And how come it hurt her so much? How come she missed him so much?
Up until now she had kept a hope deep inside of her. A hope that he would come back to her. A hope that he wasn't really gone. Just away…
The hope seemed to fade some days and some days it seemed to grow and give her the strength to go on. But today the hope seemed to fade completely. And she knew it wasn't going to come back. She didn't know quite what had happened that made the hope seem to disappear. Maybe it was that she had visited his crypt for the first time since he left and it seemed so empty. Maybe it was that Xander and Anya had made up and where happy again and she wasn't. Or maybe it was remembering Dawn telling her how cruel she had been to Spike. But what ever it was... the hope was gone.
Maybe it would be better with out the hope. Without it she might be able to move on instead of just waiting. That's all she had been doing, really. She had just been waiting. Waiting for him to come back. Waiting to be happy like Xander and Anya. Waiting for the hurt to go away. But it wasn't going to. He wasn't coming back, she wasn't ever going to be as happy as her friends, and the hurt… the hurt was there to stay.
----------------------------
She thought about what Dawn had said when she found out spike was gone. She had yelled at Buffy and told her she hater her. She had screamed about how much Spike loved her and how much of a bitch she had been to him and even to the Scoobies. How she was so closed of ever since they had brought her back.
It had got Buffy thinking. From then she had decided not to mope around anymore. She had started getting happier and spending more time with her friends. They all told her how sorry they where for the reaction they had toward her and Spike and that hey would support her no matter what. So Buffy slow got better. Dawn was mad at her for a while but now she was doing better and she and Buffy had weekly movies nights.
Xander forgave Anya and a few days ago they decided to try the wedding again. It was going to be a small wedding this time with only close friends. Willow had given up for good and she and Tara were in the 'lets- start-as-friend-and-then-become-more' stage.
But after all her fiends solved there problems and Buffy had gotten over the heaven thing, Spike still wasn't back. And that was one thing she didn't know how to fix. She didn't even know where he was or how to reach him. And a small part of her was still mad at him. Not so much the Anya thing anymore but that he had left her. She had been sure that he would be the one to stay. Maybe that was why she had been so cruel to him. The fact that no matter how mean she was to him he would still stay. She lighted bitterly at her actions. Thinking Spike would take all her bull shit was no reason to be a bitch to the man she loved. Loved? She did love him. She knew that now. But now it was too late to do anything about it.
Buffy's thoughts where interrupted when Dawn opened the door and stepped into the room.
"Why didn't you answer me?" Dawn questioned, "I knocked two times and nothing."
"Sorry…" Buffy sighed, "I was thinking…"
"About Spike?" Dawn came to sit next to her sister.
"The one and only," Buffy said with a noticeable longing in her voice.
The younger girl patted her sisters back and tried to reassure her, "He'll be back".
"No he won't," Buffy whispered, "I thought so… I hoped so… for a long time. But he's not coming back. I wish he was. I'd tell him that I love him and that I was as wrong as him. That I forgive him and I hope that he would forgive me too, that I want to make things right…"
"Buffy…." Dawn said looking out the window, "I think you just told him."
"What? What do you mean?" Buffy followed her sisters gaze out of the window to where Spike was standing by the old tree in the front yard. "Oh my god…" Buffy said in a disbelieving whisper..."
"I'll be in my room. After you two take tell him to come say hi to me." Dawn said with a samil as she got up to go to her room.
------------------------
Buffy jumped out of her window and ran toward Spike. She leaped up and warped her arms and legs around him. "Your back!" she said with tears in her eyes.
"Yep" Spike whispered burying his face in her shoulder, "I'm back".
After some time she pulled away from him and placed her feet back on the ground. But her arms stayed wrapped around him and their foreheads pressed against each others.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Well I was here to see you...but if you don't want me here then I can just go," he said with smile on his face as he turned around and pretender to be about to leave.
"Oh no you don't!", Buffy said with a giggle as she pulled him back to her. She knew he was just joking and he did manage to lighten up the mode considerably.
He sat down on the porch and pulled her down with him onto his lap, "So about what you said to Dawn up there…."
-------------------------
"So…..you love me." Spike said with a big grin on his face as he looked at Buffy. They where laying side by side on her porch with their arms around each other.
"How many times do you need to hear it?" She faked irritably.
"About as many time as you needed to hear that I was gong to kill anyone now that I don't have the chip." He answered.
"About that…" She said, "you said you where looking for a soul. But you didn't say you had it.. do you?"
"He smiled at her. "See... I would tell you… but the sun is about to come up and I really should get home."
She looked at him for a minute and them made a decision that would change both of there lives. She didn't know why she made it. Maybe it was remembering how empty his crypt looked, maybe it was how adorable he looked lying then in her arms, or maybe it was just that she was curious about him having a soul. But whatever it was… she had made her decision. "You are home", she told him while getting up and pulling him in to her house.
The end