Naruto: The Comedic Adaptation

Chapter 1

A/N: What's up everybody! Not much to really say since it's an opening chapter and well… the summary kind of covers it. Don't worry, I know there's a lot of making fun of Naruto in this first one but honestly this chapter barely features anyone else. Normally it won't be aimed almost completely at one character like this xD This story shouldn't really be taken seriously in the first place but… I'm sure someone will find a way.

Also, we just want to let you guys know right now… This story is being written by 2 people. We're rl friends and don't have seperate names to go by for this but yeah, Ez is two people and we're just hoping to have some fun with this and hope you do as well.

At any rate, enjoy

Naruto's palm slammed down on his alarm clock as he jarred himself awake and groaned; he always hated early mornings. It took all but twenty seconds for him to remember what day it was and suddenly he found a well of energy and leapt right out of bed. He hurriedly got dressed and headed his way to the kitchen; it was going to be a special day. Today… He would finally become a ninja!

"Wow milk cheese day and the Genin Exam lined up perfectly today!"

"Naruto if you eat that I will personally mess you up and fail you dumbass, that's gross and I have to suffer through it."

"Caroma, MILK CHEESE AND RA-!"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IT'S NOT CAROMA!"

"I don't have to listen you, you're my second voice and that makes me smarter than you."

Kurama to himself "They should have just let him stab the baby."

"Why does my milk cheese and ramen taste weird today…"

"Shut up!"

Naruto tuned out his grumpy second voice, finished his breakfast and moved along.

Meanwhile, other academy students made their way to the school as well.

"Billboard brow! You're actually going to try and pass the Genin Exam? That's pretty confident of you… Considering you aren't actually good at anything!" A blonde gal called out to a pink haired girl of the same age.

"Shut up Ino-PIG! I'm great at a lot of things!"

Ino snorted, "Name one? If there's anything I must've missed it when I was busy talking to Sasuke."

"YEAH RIGHT-YOU WISH!"

"Ah, ha so you do admit you're good for nothing."

Sakura's face flushed, realizing she walked into that one, "I'll prove I'm faster than you right now!"

Ino's eyes met hers and hardened, the two rivals riled up yet again, "You're on."

A moment of silence passed, and the next thing they knew they were both sprinting towards the school, elbowing and shoving at each other along the way and dodging civilians.

The race was going about even as the school came into view when Sakura made a mistake and rammed right into something orange…

"Oww my head!"

"What? Naruto you IDIOT!"

Kurama huffed, "Tell the bitch off."

Ignoring his inner voice once again, Naruto glared at his crush, "What did I do? YOU ran into me!" He retorted.

"Shut up you idiot you could pay more attention and I never would have touched you! But noo you have to act just like you do in school and be totally oblivious!"

"Hey, that's mean."

"No shit, it's an insult you moron."

"Shut up Caroma that was mean too."

Sakura just stared at him, "What..?"

"GOD DAMN IT Naruto. "

Sakura was greeted with Ino sticking her tongue out and making a 'V' sign at her, "Told you forehead girl, you're not good at anything!"

Sakura scowled, "Oh give it a rest Ino, you got lucky! Someone ran into me!" She complained, jolting a thumb at Naruto.

"Hey that wasn't my fault! And I don't appreciate being blamed… But anyway that's not true at all Ino! Sakura's great at a lot of things!"

"Name one," Ino repeated, stifling her laughter at the class joke being stuck in the middle of this.

"Well uhmm…"

*crickets*

"Damn it Naruto!" Sakura barked, smacking the blonde boy on that head, "You can't even think of ONE nice thing to say about me!"

"Aw, cute now you guys sound like a couple. That's cool… Not really. But if it keeps you away from my Sasukeee…"

The boy she mentioned sat across the room, alone. He glanced in their general direction but said nothing, wishing they would all burst in flames and stop annoying him.

The class was filled with a stone-cold breeze when Iruka sensei walked into the room.

"Hey class I'm your incompetent teacher and today is the Genin Exam."

"Our incompetent what?" a bewildered Shikamaru said.

"I'm also here," Mizuki added unimportantly.

"Anyways we are going to do this the most efficiently as possible. Sasuke, you're up first and Naruto… your last."

"Naruto, are you going to speak up for yourself?"

"What do you mean? I get more time to think of this hard jutsu."

"Iruka called himself incompetent and your last… You know what? There's no point in arguing with you; I almost forgot that I was not going to help you."

One by one, all thirty-three ninja hopefuls that possessed better grades than Naruto took on the three stages of the genin exam. The sections for the test were taijutsu, ninjutsu and a written portion with three questions that were fairly basic. Well, actually pretty much everything about the exam was basic, it's not like this test mattered anyway; whatever students passed would have to impress a jonin afterwards in a different test sooo this didn't really mean shit. Were they gonna tell the kids that? Ha, hell no.

"Okay Naruto get up here," Iruka called out.

Naruto nodded and came up with confidence radiating off of him, it was his time to shine! "Let's do this!"

"...Sure," Iruka replied, " Let's start with the ninjutsu part; I'm gonna need you to perform the clone jutsu for me."

Naruto froze in place at that, "Cl-Clone jutsu… Right… No problem…" slouching more than Shikamaru.

"Is there something wrong?"

Naruto wiped the doubt off his face and stood himself upright, "Wha? Of course not! Piece of cake! I'm gonna pass this test like its nothing! BELIEVE IT!"

"IT WAS THE MILK CHEESE AND RAMEN THAT MADE ME FAIL! Carma told me he wouldn't help if I ate it. isn't there anything else I can do to pass?" He asked no one in particular, not even noticing Mizuki's ominous approach.

Mizuki half grins "You know Naruto, there is one thing you can do to become a Genin."

"This sounds like a trap Naruto."

"Shut up Corona, it's your fault I'm even in this situation."

"GAHH, What did you call me? First off… That's STILL wrong you idiot! Second off, if anything that would be a girl's name."

"Hey that would kind of make sense if it was a girl's voice suppressed inside me."

"HOW would that make sense!?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, just does."

Mizuki had no idea what Naruto was talking about and just stared at him as if he were completely insane. What girl's voice? What the fuck.

The Third Hokage thought this inbred of a child had potential to be a ninja.

"Alright Naruto, what you need to do is steal a recipe hidden in the Hokage's office. It is marked as Forbidden Shadow Clone Jutsu"

Naruto's face brightened, "For real? What kind of recipe? Is it ramen? OOOhhh OOOhh is it a recipe for milk cheese?" Naruto's second voice inwardly groaned but he ignored it.

"I… Will tell you what the recipe is for AND teach it to you if you succeed in bringing it to me."

"Okay this sounds easy," Naruto crossed his arms, "I'll bring you that recipe in no time, believe it!"

"You're an idiot." Kurama grumbled.

The leader of the Akamichi clan cries out, "That dumb kid stole the Hokage's Forbidden Scroll, we need everyone to go search for him before he escapes the village"

A random genin replies back "Shut up fatass."

A nearby ANBU squad looked on as Choza beat the living fuck out of that poor genin and then looked at each other, "Nah sorry, coffee break."

"But this is INCREDIBLY important!" Some chunin pleaded.

"Yeah… I don't know man, it's just a scroll, and that kid's pretty retarded; I don't want my coffee getting cold over this," Another ANBU agreed.

"But what if he's using the scroll for diabolical purposes at this very moment to get revenge on the Leaf village?"

Meanwhile where Naruto is…

"Man, I thought this recipe might be for Doritos what the hell is this useless shit?"

"Naruto, I bet you can't learn that jutsu."

"Cortana, I'll learn this jutsu faster than you can say your name, you better believe it"

"I'm not sure what's worse… How far off the names are getting or that statement."

Naruto on his second attempt manages to create twenty-one clones. His first attempt was just filled with gang signs instead of actual hand signs, "Yeaahh! Look at that Kurnizzle in your faceee! Hit me!" He celebrated with his equally immature clones.

For once this fool did something impressive without using my chakra… hmm maybe I should give him a taste to reward him, even though he will do some really dumb shit and possibly die- wait that would be good if he died, "Naruto, I will help you for now."

"Shut up Catrina."

"Don't make this harder on yourself."

Mizuki spots Naruto running through the tree line with the scroll and he pulls out his big ass shuriken and chucks it at Naruto. It was just a shadow clone, wait a minute that idiot learned the scroll?

A normal sized shuriken is now thrown at Mizuki, he dodges and throws another big ass shuriken. The big ass shuriken dissipates and turns into a much bigger disappointment. "Oh it's you Iruka."

"Yeah I was just hiding in the armory as a giant shuriken, why am I being thrown to Naruto?"

"Didn't you hear? He stole the scroll."

"How can that idiot steal something that is guarded tight? You're not making any sense and now I will have to apprehend you."

Elsewhere… *sip* "Love this coffee."

"Fuck you Iruka, you are literally the worst ninja at the Academy, it would be Naruto but you know that impotent dumbass can't be a ninja."

They spot another Naruto getting mad at the rendezvous location Mizuki told Naruto to be at. "Wait so it wasn't a Shadow Clone made by him, then who are you, imposter?"

"Shadow Paralysis jutsu, complete," Shikaku traps Mizuki, knowing that Iruka wouldn't be dumb enough to expect Naruto to steal a scroll.

Iruka approaches Naruto and asks why and what made him steal the scroll. "I thought this was a Dorito recipe when I stole it, Mizuki told me if I take it I would become a genin", Iruka starts crying over how stupid Naruto is.

"All I got was this stupid clone jutsu from it."

Shikaku and Mizuki leave with ANBU restraining Mizuki and the Third Hokage approaches Naruto right as he creates over a thousand clones. "I had lost my faith in this boy multiple times and he proves to me that even the town idiot can do something great. Iruka I want you to be this boys Giant shuriken."

"Wait I thought you were talking about Naruto there."

"No, this child actually has potential unlike you where you only found an ounce of usability as a Giant shuriken. Now Iruka, remove your headband and turn into the Giant shuriken so I can seal you."

"But… Why do I have to remove my headband?"

"Why do you need it? You're going to be a shuriken; Naruto needs it more than you do."

After Iruka followed his final orders, pitiful as they were, the Hokage now gives the Giant shuriken and headband to Naruto, these are your gifts for graduating Ninja Academy.

"Ah man, this is going to be useless to me," He said of the Giant shuriken, "I don't even use stuff like that. But at least I finally can wear this!" He exclaimed proudly, dawning the Leaf forehead protector for the very first time, "I'm a ninja now, believe it!"

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Looking forward to the first reviews. And yes, Iruka really is going to be a shuriken