Author's Note:

Hello all! First off, I don't own any of Tim Burton's characters, Stephanie Meyer's, or any others that I decide to throw in here. It's just a fun fic that came to me one day…

Also while it says Twilight is in this fic, this is probably unlike any Twilight/ featuring Twilight fiction you've ever read. If you're expecting something like this:

Bella: Oh Edward I love you and your incandescent skin.

Edward: No Bella I love YOU more, you're just like my favorite pot, and I want to smoke you all up!

Bella: Oh EDWARD you're so romantic, I want to have your vampire children!

Edward: But I do not want to hurt you, Reneseme is enough for me.

Bella: Well, about that Edward… Vampires really CAN'T have children, Renesme isn't your child; her father is Jacob Black. I figured I'd tell you that AFTER I was a vampire and I'm virtually indestructible!

Jacob: GROSS, I IMPRINTED on my DAUGHTER?

Edward: I'll kill you, but I'm too noble to destroy you in front of Bella.

Jasper: I hate my life…. And I look constipated in the movie.

Rosalie: I hate everyone.

Alice: Who wants to guess what song is on my iPod Shuffle next?!.... I DO!

Emmett: Let's play baseball.

Then you would be wrong. This fic has nothing to do with Twilight, well I guess it has a little to do with Twilight, but don't expect the Cullen's to appear any time soon. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Also, Twihards: take a deep breath. This is a joke seriously; this is what happens when I'm left alone too long with a blank Word document: my mind just throws up onto the page and BAM look what you've got. So before you post angry messages at me, I've read Twilight at least twice as well as the rest of the books and seen the movie so I'm not an ignorant "hater"

And, you can be sure that anything with Edward Scissorhands or Betelgeuse will be ok since I've seen each of those movies about 20 times a piece… Buffy not too sure about: this isn't about the show,,, just the movie which I've seen once… I just thought she'd be perfect for this "job"… Enjoy! =D

Love, R_E

Did Somebody Say Vampire?

Prologue

Vampires. Frightening creatures of the night, who suck the blood of their prey, leaving their corpses to die or turn into one of them. Bloodthirsty, horrendous creatures who… sparkle… in the…. sunlight?

Yes they sparkle in the sunlight, and not only do they sparkle in the sunlight but they're deathly beautiful, and smell great too! Once upon a time the vampires were divided; groups of vampires who did not drink human blood only that of animals. Then there were groups of vampires who didn't have a problem quenching their thirst with that of more human prey.

But years of mountain lions and deer gets old, and with the smell of delectable human treats all around slowly but surely every clan of "vegetarian" vampires succumbed to their thirst and began hunting human quarry.

Chapter 1

Buffy

Buffy Summers stretched herself out on her beach towel and yawned daintily. The sun was beginning to set and she looked out over the open ocean, and then rolled over to look at her boyfriend, Pike who was sitting underneath an umbrella with suntan lotion all over his face and sunglasses covering his eyes.

She stifled a giggle; Buffy got a kick out of Pike dressed up like that. "It's okay if you get a little tan you know," she said pushing her sunglasses down her nose and looking at him over the tops of the rims.

"Buffy, please. You know how I sunburn," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and pushed her sunglasses back on.

"It's cooler now Pike, the sun is setting… Let's go for a walk." She got up and leaned over him, giving him a light peck on his white covered nose. "Eeew." She giggled, wiping the suntan lotion off her lips.

"Fine. Fine." He gave her a goofy half smile and got up from his chair. He glanced around, "We do need to be getting back Buffy… I mean, the traffic might not all be that bad, but it'll still take at least an hour to get back to LA, and that's if I speed."

"Lighten up will 'ya?" Buffy grinned grabbing his hand and pulling him off down the beach.

They did look like quite the pair walking down the beach, Buffy in her bright green bikini and large Ray Ban sunglasses, Pike in an AC/DC t-shirt, blue Hawaiian printed swim trunks, dark sunglasses, and a baseball hat.

They found their way to a boardwalk and Pike stopped to purchase a corn dog before they proceeded down the brightly lit dock. They walked all the way to the end of the boardwalk; Buffy plopped down and dangled her feet over the edge. "Careful, don't lose your flip flops." Pike grinned and sat down next to her, taking another bite of his corn dog.

"Look! There's the first star." Buffy pointed and grinned giddily at the shining ball of light in the sky.

"Make a wish," Pike whispered in her ear. Buffy turned her neck to face him, their lips almost touching.

"I already have everything I need," she whispered. "The vampires are all dead… plus I have you." She smiled a half smile.

"That's what I wanted to hear." Pike grinned impishly and moved in to kiss her lips.

But just as his lips began to brush hers, they were interrupted by a very familiar sounding voice. "Buffy!" The pair whipped around looking to where the voice had come from, Buffy turned so fast that one of her flip flops fell off into the water. "Darn it!" she cursed looking down into the black water.

She stood up facing a man who had come and stopped in front of the two of them. "Okay mister, this had better be pretty freakin' important I just lost a flip flop for you-"

"Ah Buffy, I see you never change." The man stepped closer, at the sight of his face Buffy gasped and Pike dropped his corndog.

"Merrick?" Buffy whispered, "But you're…"

"Dead?" Merrick finished for her.

"But…" Buffy stepped closer and poked his shoulder, "you died… I saw… Now you're back… unless," her hand flew to her mouth.

"That's right Buffy, they're back."

"But Lothos…" Buffy murmured.

"Lothos is dead Buffy… But these are quite different vampires… I'm afraid we'll have to take much of your training back to square one."

Buffy stopped and raised an eyebrow, "You're kidding… Right?" She glanced at Pike, "Am I dreaming?"

Pike shook his head, "Not if I'm having the same dream as you."

"Right… Okay I want to wake up now." Buffy closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten and…

She shot up to a sitting position in her bed gasping slightly. She felt her face and blinked her eyes a few times, "It was a dream?" She fell back on to her pillows. "Thank god."

She lay in bed staring at the ceiling unable to fall back to sleep. She groaned and flipped her legs over the side of her bed. She padded over to her closet, stepping inside she reached up to the highest shelf. After feeling around with her fingers for a few minutes she found it.

Buffy walked with a small shoebox cradled in her arms and sat down at her vanity. She placed the box down, and carefully opened it, as if there was some sort of rabid squirrel inside.

Slowly Buffy reached down through the tissue paper and pulled out a wooden stake holding it up in the tips of her fingers. Gingerly she turned it over, she handled it with such care, as if she were afraid it would bite her.

"I don't need this ever again," she whispered. "The vampires are all gone. I killed Lothos…" She shuddered, that dream had shaken her up more than it should have. Glancing at the clock she realized it was six AM, there was no use in going back to sleep now. Not like she could have anyway, and maybe she was so worried because she needed to eat. Yeah, that's what it was: hunger, definitely not worry.

Buffy placed the stake back into the shoebox and ceremoniously placed it back on the top shelf of her closet.

She pulled on a pair of old sweatpants and a white tank top and pulled her short hair back into a small ponytail. Shrugging at herself in the mirror she stomped down the stairs making as much noise as she could, her parents weren't there; they were in France for the week.

Buffy stepped into the kitchen and proceeded to fry up some eggs for herself. She flipped them around in the pan and added some pepper, once they were done she shoved them on to a plate and slowly picked at them while leafing through a month old Cosmo that was sitting there on the table.

After finishing half the plate she got up and dumped the leftovers into the garbage, looking at the clock on the wall she realized she had only killed about forty-five minutes. Groaning, Buffy stomped up the steps again and took a shower.

She washed her hair about five times and conditioned it and when her fingers began to get pruny she stepped out wrapped a towel around herself and changed into a pair of cutoffs, kept her white tank top, but threw on a red and white checkered shirt with the long sleeves rolled up.

For the third time that morning Buffy again looked at the clock: it was now eight. She smiled at the time she had managed to lose and fell on to her bed. After ten long minutes the doorbell rang, it startled Buffy and she quickly sat up and ran down the stairs, she threw open the door hugged Pike who was standing there smiling, then she put her hand to her head and winced from a head rush she had given herself from getting up too quickly.

"You okay?" Pike asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just fine." She grinned.

"Alright." He smiled, "So what do you want to do today Buff?" He stepped inside and headed to the kitchen, sitting down on a stool in front of the island counter. "You still want to go to the beach?"

A weird look came over Buffy's face as she remembered the dream from last night. "Why don't we just go to the mall, it's supposed to rain today."

Pike shrugged indifferently, "Whatever you want Buff."

"Okay then… Let's go." Buffy grabbed her house keys from the counter, "Woah, woah, woah. What's the hurry Buffy?" Pike asked taking her shoulders, "Don't you just want to hang here for a while?" He raised an eyebrow kissing her forehead.

"Uh, no let's just go." Buffy pulled away from him, not noticing the hurt look on his face.

***

They walked around the mall, went to the park, and even out to dinner. Buffy was acting very paranoid, and Pike couldn't seem to figure out why. And finally when they were out in the parking lot of the restaurant, Buffy for the billionth time looked around and over her shoulder before getting into the car. Pike shut the passenger door and climbed into the driver's seat and after a moment he said. "Buffy, what is wrong with you? You've been acting weird all day."

"Well, it's just this dream I had last night… It really shook me up." Pike started the car and laughed. Buffy glared at him. "It's not funny Pike."

"Yes it is." He smiled, "All day I thought there was another guy or something."

"Ohh," Buffy rolled her eyes, "Don't think like that Pike. You know you're the only one for me." She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Buff." Pike smiled and pulled on to her street and into her drive way. He killed the engine and hopped out of the car and around to the passenger's side he opened Buffy's door and offered his hand, "My lady." He gave an exaggerated bow and a goofy smile.

Buffy returned his smile and regally put out her hand and allowed him to help her up. As soon as she was up Pike pulled her in and gave her a long kiss on the lips. Buffy never got tired of the warm sensation she got when she kissed Pike. She had kissed other boys, but they were just dumb jocks for the most part. Pike was so deep and emotional and Buffy loved it when he kissed her.

Finally when they pulled away Buffy gave him another swift kiss on the cheek. "Night Pike." She turned and began to walk into the house.

"Sweet dreams tonight 'k Buff?" Pike called after her.

"Okay." Buffy smiled, unlocked the door to her house and walked to the kitchen; she dropped her keys on the counter and fumbled around for a light switch.

Her back was to the island counter and she shuffled through the old newspapers on the counter for a few moments until she heard, "Hello Buffy." She whipped around and gave a small yelp.

"Merrick!" She put a hand to her heart, "You know… If I hadn't been sort of expecting you all day you would've given me a heart attack… I didn't figure to find you here though… In my house… in my kitchen." She frowned, "How did you get in here anyway?"

Merrick chuckled. "That's the first thing you ask me?"

"Oh yeah." Buffy shrugged. "I guess I was already sort of prepared from the dream last night… But aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Well yes." Merrick sighed, "And I was hoping to stay that way… I mean all the vampires were gone-"

"They are all gone, right Merrick?" Buffy shifted her eyes nervously.

"If they were all gone, I wouldn't be here now would I?"

Buffy sighed and flopped down on the stool across from him. "Vampires are back Buffy, and they're… different from what you're used to. Why don't you grab us some soda, this is quite the story." Shrugging, Buffy pulled out some Diet Coke from the fridge and slid one to Merrick and popped the top to hers.

"Well it began with the ones I heard of in Italy…." Merrick began.

***

It was a long story and after Merrick wrapped it up Buffy blinked a few times and said, "So lemme get this straight…. They… sparkle…. in the…. sunlight?"

"Yes."

"They *sparkle*?" Buffy repeated.

"Yes Buffy." Merrick replied exasperated. "I can't believe I just told you about marble killers who can't be killed with wooden stakes and the only thing you can think about is that they *sparkle*?"

"I'm sorry Merrick." Buffy sputtered, between giggles, "It's just… the funniest thing I have ever heard!"

"It won't be so funny when you're cornered and not even garlic can help you." Merrick mumbled.

"I can handle it." Buffy said, suddenly straight-faced.

"I don't know Buffy, these creatures are unlike anything else you've dealt with before…. But…." He sighed and pulled an envelope out of his coat pocket, "You are the chosen Slayer." He shook his head. "I was expecting to get some unwillingness from you Buffy. You want to go out and fight these new creatures?"

"Well I figure I don't really have a choice, and rather than have these super-powered sparkling things control the world I figure I may as well do it now."

"I'm impressed Buffy." Merrick said, raising an eyebrow. "You took a lot more convincing last time."

"Well you know… It's summer, and I'm totally bored." She shrugged, "Where do I have to go, are they hanging around town? I haven't seen any sparkling people walking down the street." She snorted.

"Well the last time I checked there was a large concentration of them in Italy, they call themselves the Volturi." The room became silent at the name, and after a few seconds Merrick slid the envelope across the table towards Buffy. "These are two plane tickets to Italy. One for you and…" He swallowed, "One for Oliver-"

"Pike." Buffy interrupted, smiling.

Merrick rolled his eyes, "Pike… Now, I wouldn't normally put the life of a non-Slayer at risk… However," He paused, "Pike seemed to be of great help to you last time, and with all the trouble these vampires are…"

Buffy interrupted, "Puh-lease." She waved her hand, "If they're even half as hard to kill as Lothos was supposed to be, it'll be a piece of cake. I'll be done in a week."

Buffy began to get up from the table, but Merrick grabbed her wrist and she sat back down.

"Buffy I don't think you understand. These are different from any other vampire you've faced before. There is not even a record of them from journals of former Slayers." He stopped and the silence was deafening. "After some extensive digging around the libraries and archives around the globe I found out some more about them." He paused again, "Buffy these vampires are not easy to kill. They have to be cut apart and burned before you can even consider them to be dead. Wooden stakes are not going to help you this time."

"Fine." Buffy looked him in the eyes, "But I still want to save the world." She gave him an eager grin.

Merrick shrugged, "Then I think you're going to need this." He reached down to a case he had been hiding at his feet. He put the rather large case on the table and clicked it open. "Buffy, how familiar are you with flamethrowers?"