When he walked away that day he knew it was over. He didn't want it to be over but her rejection hurt too much to put up a fight. So instead of heading off to San Francisco with a fiancé, he went with a broken heart. He knew she was heartbroken too, the look she gave him as he said goodbye to her told him as much. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her it would be ok but his pride wouldn't let him. He wouldn't let himself comfort her and tell her that it was alright to crush him completely. He didn't want her to know that she had that much power over him. So he left her there, with his heart, and went to San Francisco.
The first month he was there he didn't speak to any of his friends. He ignored their calls, text messages, and emails that begged for him to talk to them. He didn't want to talk because he knew that the only thing they would want to talk about was her. And he didn't want to talk about her. He just wanted to do his best to forget that she even existed, to forget that he loved her. When he didn't answer their calls the first week his friends seemed to get the message that he didn't want to talk, so they stopped leaving messages. They knew he probably wouldn't listen to them anyway. The life he built in California was like a protective bubble, keeping out anything that had to do with her or the life he left in Hartford. His bubble popped the fourth week of his new life.
It started with a phone call from his sister. She called at least once a week just to see if he would speak to her. As usual he didn't answer his phone but instead of hanging up after getting his voicemail his sister left a message. It took him three days to get the nerve to listen to it. His sister wouldn't leave a message unless she felt like she had too. She was the one person who seemed to understand his need to not talk about it, so when he saw she left a message he knew that the information contained in it would be worth knowing.
"Hey its Logan leave a message."
"Hey little brother, I just called to check in on you. I know you're blocking out the world at the moment but this is something you need to know so call me back!"
He had a feeling that whatever she felt he needed to know wasn't that important, so he didn't call her back. The next week when she called he got the same message. By the third message she sounded annoyed that he wasn't calling her back and by the fourth she was pissed off.
"Hey its Logan leave a message."
"Logan Elias Huntzberger! I can't believe that you are so determined to forget Rory that you won't even call me back. I can't deal with you if you are going to be like this. So here is what you need to know. Rory is a reporter on the campaign trail with Barack Obama. Meaning she is traveling all across the country and if you have been paying attention to politics lately you would know that means she is coming to your city in a couple of days. She also asked me to pass a message to you and I wasn't going to but since your being a jerk I'll tell you what she said. She said that she still wanted to be your friend and keep in touch with you."
She was coming here, to San Francisco. And she wanted to be friends. He didn't know what to do with this information. He missed her that much he knew. But he didn't know if he could be her friend or if he was ready to see her again. He didn't know if he could handle it. So he decided to pretend that the campaign wasn't even there the entire week that it was. And he almost got away with it. He was almost able to pretend that she hadn't been in the same city as he was and if it hadn't been for that damn note; his bubble might have stayed intact.
It was taped to his door and he found it when he went to get the paper the morning after the campaign left. When he opened the door and saw it, it startled him. He stood there looking at it for a few minutes before deciding to bring it in before his neighbors started to stare. He looked at it for a few minutes trying to decide if he wanted to read it or not but left it sitting there when he had to go to work. It sat there for almost two weeks until he got tired of looking at it and tossed it in the junk draw in his desk. He didn't read it, at least not then, but it did make him start talking to his friends again.
He made up with his sister first.
"Hello"
"Honor its Logan."
"Hey how are you?"
"I'm ok I guess. Listen I'm sorry for not returning your calls and thanks for giving me the message. I don't want to talk about it or about her. I just want to move on with my life ok?"
"If that's what you want Logan then I have to respect that, but if you ever want to talk then I'm here for you."
"Thanks Honor."
Then he called Finn because he knew that between his two best friends that Finn would be easier to convince to forget about what had happened. Despite his care free take on most everything the Australian was actually more observant then most people seemed to realize. She never realized it. Finn knew how to handle his moods and reactions to things. He knew when to stop asking about something and he was handy when it came to convincing Colin.
"Finn Morgan's office this is Margret speaking how may I help you?"
"Margret its Logan Huntzberger. Is Finn available to talk?"
"Yes he is Mr. Huntzberger just give me a second to transfer you"
"Logan mate how are you?"
"I'm ok Finn and this is me making contact with the world again. I'm sorry I've been such a loner lately but I have decided that I don't want to be cut off from you guys anymore."
"That's alright mate, you had some stuff to deal with. And I understand that more than anyone."
"Yeah I just have one request."
"Anything."
"I don't want to talk about it. I want to move on and try to be happy again."
"I understand that completely Logan but if you ever need to talk I'm here ok?"
"Yeah I know thanks Finn and could you do me a favor and talk to Colin?"
"Yeah that's not a problem"
"Thanks Finn"
After hanging up with Finn he waited for Colin to call him. He knew that after Finn talked to Colin that Colin would call him. That was the way it worked with them. When the two of them had fights either Colin or himself would say something to Finn when they were ready to make up. And Finn would pass along the message which made the one getting the message to call. Colin called him two days later.
"Welcome back to the world Huntzberger."
"Thanks Colin. I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving."
"It's alright Logan. I understand and I got your message from Finn, so I promise not to talk about it."
"Thanks Colin and tell Stephanie I'm sorry for me. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer, but I guess I deserve that."
"I'll give her the message"
She was never mentioned again. After his conversations with his friends, they never spoke of her again. He was almost able to forget about her completely and be content with the life he had. But that couldn't last, something had to ruin it. And that something just had to be his father. Five years into his new life in San Francisco his father had a massive heart attack and died.
He never thought that he would be leaving his new life so soon. But he had no choice with his father gone somebody had to take charge of the family affairs and his mother insisted that it be him. As he was collecting paperwork to take with him he found it. The note that she had left on his door five years before. The second he saw it he missed her. Missed her as much as he had in the first weeks and months after walking away from her. As he stared at the envelope remembering how much he loved her he suddenly needed to know what she wrote to him. He needed to hear what she had to say.
"Logan,
I hope you have been doing alright these last couple of months. I wish I could tell you that I'm good but that would be lying and for some reason I could never lie to you. I miss you and I hate this. I hate that you had to go and make all these wonderful plans for us and that I didn't want them. I love the idea of living like that, of having all of that but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to be a wife. I know that I didn't explain that to you very well when we talked last but I didn't know how to explain it. I want to travel, write, and be on my own. Meaning no school, grandparents, or Stars Hollow. I want to discover what else is out in the great wide world and I was hoping that we could do it together. I thought that I would be able to do that with you by my side. And if I had said yes then that beautiful ring on my finger would have prevented that. I'm not saying that you wouldn't have let me do any of those things but my grandparents wouldn't have. My grandmother would be calling me every other day asking if we had set a date yet. She wouldn't understand wanting to wait. I wasn't ready for that. You and I both know that society would be pressuring us to do things their way and I'm not sure either of us could have handled that. I do love you and I think there is a part of me that will always love you. But I don't think we are meant to be together. I was your first girlfriend and your first love. I don't think I'm your forever and I hope that in time you come to see that too. I wanted so badly to see you while I was here this week but I knew that I wouldn't have the guts to knock on your door. I knew that I wouldn't be able to tell you all the things I wanted you to know. So I decided to do the next best thing and write you a letter. Honor gave me your address, I hope you don't mind. I do consider you one of my very best friends and would love to be friends with you. But I don't know when or if you will ever be in a place where you can be friends with me. If you ever get there give me a call or an email. Number is still the same. Even if it takes you ten years before you contact me again, I'll be here if you need me.
Love,
Rory"
Her words made perfect sense. After reading her letter everything she tried to tell him all those years ago made sense. She was right, the idea of them was good in theory but in reality they would probably never have worked. He was at a place in his life where he needed to get away from his family and Hartford. And if she had said yes then that would have made it that much harder for him to get away from. She had been one of the only people to understand him so completely. He had the sudden urge to talk to her, to see her and maybe he could lean on her while dealing with the mess his father left behind. Because if anyone understood his relationship with his father it was her. And with the shock of his father's death he needed her to help him make sense of it all. So he picked up his phone and dialed her number. Of course it had changed in the last five years but he really needed to talk to her. So he did the next best thing. He got on a plane.
Eight hours and three airports later he was on his way. He was going to the only place and the only person who would know for sure how to reach her. As he drove through her hometown he tried to come up with something to say that would convince her mother to tell him what he needed to know. She was never the biggest fan of him and in fact the woman intimidated him. He thought he had something that would convince her mother when he pulled up to the Dragonfly.
"Can I help you?" The French man at the desk greeted him.
"I was actually looking for Ms. Gilmore is she around?"
"No."
"Can you tell me where I might find her? I need to speak with her."
"It is not my job to babysit her so no I cannot tell you where she is have a good day." He was about to give up getting any information out of the seemingly rude man and try and find her somewhere else when somebody stopped him.
"Who are you and what do you want with Lorelai?" He turned around and found himself face to face with the chef at the Dragonfly and his almost mother-in-law's best friend.
"Um I'm not sure if you remember me but I was actually hoping to get in touch with her daughter. I'm an old friend of hers."
"I do remember you. Your Rory's ex. I'll give you one chance to give me a good reason as to why you need to get in touch with Rory."
"Well you see my father just died and she was one of the only people that really understood my relationship with him. And I really need to talk to her about it."
"Lorelai is at Luke's for lunch but I'm not promising you that she is going to tell you anything."
"Thanks a lot."
Walking through town he realized that it hadn't changed much since the last time he was here. He just hoped nobody recognized him. He was lucky and made it to the diner without anybody bothering him. When he entered Luke's he noticed Lorelai sitting at the counter talking excitedly with Luke, who looked up when he walked in.
"Lorelai isn't that that Logan kid that asked Rory to marry him?" Lorelai turned around to look at him and seemed surprised to see him there. But he really needed to speak to Rory so he walked over to the counter.
"Yes Luke it is. Can I help you with something Logan?"
"Yes you can. I was hoping you would be willing to give me Rory's number because I really need to talk to her."
"She's happy Logan and I don't want you to mess that up. Give me one good reason why you want to talk to Rory after five years of nothing?"
"My dad died and I got all these people telling me different things. Telling me what I should do or need to do and I need someone to help me make sense of it all. Rory was the only one that could help me make sense of it. Please I don't want to mess up her life I just need her to be my friend. She told me that she wanted to be friends and that when I got to a place where I thought we could be friends to give her a call. But she doesn't have the same number."
Lorelai was quiet for a few minutes as she thought about what he said. He seemed to be telling the truth and she knew that Rory would be mad at her if she just turned him away. Especially after his dad died.
"She lives in Boston with her fiancée. I can give you her cell phone number but I swear to god Huntzberger if you cause a fight between them and upset my daughter three months before her wedding I will never do anything for you again to you understand me?"
"Yes ma'am."
Five minutes later he was in his car going back to Hartford with his phone to his ear listen to hers ring.
"Hello"
"He's gone"
"Logan?"
"Yeah"
"Whose gone? Your Dad?"
"Yeah you heard?"
"The whole world did. How are you handling things?"
"As well as can be expected, which is not very well. Mom is a mess, so Honor is handling all the arrangements but somebody has to handle the business and I don't know if I can do that."
"Oh Logan, where are you?"
"Halfway between Stars Hollow and Hartford."
"Meet me at The Prince in twenty minutes."
"Ok"
It was all he could do not to break down at the sound of her voice. Since getting the phone call from his sister a few days ago, he had been in shock not really absorbing the fact that his father was gone. He was able to put on his society mask in front of Lorelai and her town to pretend that he was fine. But Rory was one of the only people who had ever seen him really break down and he knew that she was what he needed. Twenty minutes later he was walking into the bar at The Prince. She was sitting at the end of the bar looking more stunning then ever and nursing what he assumed to be an Irish Coffee.
"You look beautiful like always Ms. Gilmore" He greeted her coming to sit next to her.
"Hey stranger, you better watch yourself my fiancé is a very jealous man." She bantered with a smile.
"So I hear whose the lucky guy?"
"His name is Tristan, now how are you really doing?"
"Not good. It's like all of a sudden I'm the man in charge and I don't like it. Everybody needs to talk to me and I just want to be left alone. My mother is a mess and my sister is doing her best to hang in there. They all want me to take charge and tell them what to do because that is what Mitchum would do but I can't do what they want because I'm not him." He sounded very frustrated and was as close to crying as he had been in a long time.
"You listen to me Logan Huntzberger. You are going to get through this. What you need to do is tell all those business people to back off you will answer their questions after you bury your father. You need to just be Logan, Mitchum's son. Not Logan, business guy or anybody else. You just need to grieve right now and as for the company stuff you will figure it out. You can run that company I know it and I think your dad did too." He smiled at her as she finished talking and leaned over to give him a hug. This was exactly what he needed. This is what he had missed the last five years.
I got the inspiration for this on my way home from work, while listening to She's in Love by Mark Wills. It didn't turn out the way I thought it would and I'm not entirely sure if I like it. I don't think it flows very well and I know Rory and Logan are probably a lot OC. I'm sorry about that. This is a stand alone piece and I doubt I will add any more. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!
Brianna