Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the people, places (in short anything) associated with it.
Author's note: The fact that I actually wrote this still surprises me immensely…. This idea hit me so suddenly that I literally could not sleep until I had written the whole thing. That being I said I hope you like it, and review! Thanks!! Oh… and this is in the trio's seventh year.
Hermione smiled. She glanced across the room at Professor Lupin, his eyes desperately avoiding her side of the room. She smiled as she remembered. How could she not?
...
She remembered last night flawlessly. It was nearing the sleeping hours, and she was still in the Great Hall. She'd been doing her Defence Against the Dark Arts homework; two foot parchment on some creature or something. She didn't need to recall which. It wasn't vital to the memory.
She glanced up at the staff table. Most of the teachers were still there, despite the waning amount of students. Harry and Ron had left after hastily cramming as much food into their mouths as quickly as possible, obviously keen on something. Quidditch practice perhaps. She didn't mind being alone, solitude often being a hard thing to find during such difficult times. Her eyes roamed carefully over all of the professors. Hagrid, Flitwick, Hooch, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Vector, Sprout, Lupin, Sinistra, Snape… Her eyes fluttered back to Lupin. For some reason she remembered that it was only a night or two before the full moon; he had told them it was approaching in class earlier. They knew what this meant too, they would have to endure two classes being taught by Snape. Wonderful. Simply Marvellous.
She wondered vaguely what he felt like at that time, those few days before his transformation. Teaching exuberant young minds, knowing full well in forty-eight hours he would turn into a monster; a beast shunned by all. Well almost all, she would never shun him.
He didn't speak much, she noticed. Was that because of the moon's state as well? No, he never talked much.
Hermione smiled as she remembered how he had smiled politely at another teacher, before his eyes passed lightly over eyes. Then the way he looked away quickly, pretending they hadn't. She'd seen his teeth in his brief smile. She wondered if they were affected. If perhaps they got pointier as the time neared. After all his face would get paler, and his tawny eyes would shine brighter, why shouldn't his teeth be affected? She noted these changes in him then, as she continued to watch. He was more edgy than usually too. He had jumped noticeably when Professor Sinistra asked him to pass the cauldron cakes, she wondered if that was more because of her staring at him, than the actual time of month.
She remembered how he had slumped slightly when she had started to leave. Relieved? She would have asked had there been no else in the room. She also remembered how half way to the common room she decided to go to the library instead to get book for her essay. It was cold there, the fire already put out for the night. Unable to stand the temperature she left the library without a book. She wanted only to reach the common room, to sit in front of the fireplace, and bask in the warmth it was sure provide.
As she made her way back towards the portrait hole, she passed the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. The lights were on and the door stood slightly open. She suddenly felt excited, though at the time she did not know why. She peered around the door and saw Lupin bent over speaking with someone in the fireplace. She couldn't see who it was but it didn't matter anyway. She saw Lupin walk over to his desk and sit down, no face left amidst the flames.
She knocked quietly on the door; finally realizing how awkward it would be if he or someone else noticed her watching him secretly through a half closed door. Lupin looked up quickly at the sound, as if it had been as loud as cannon fire. She considered briefly that another noise had also sounded at the same time as her knock, but if that had been the case she would have heard it as well.
"Professor Lupin… may I ask you a question?" she asked still peering into the room.
"Of course," Lupin replied, his voice not quite it's calm usual sound. "Please come in." She came into the room closing the door instinctively, not expectantly. When she turned around she noticed he had gotten up from his seat, and had come around to the right side of his desk. She took a deep breath and began walking towards the front, but still her mind reeled. A question? Oh god, what am I going to ask him? Um, I didn't understand the homework? Please, even Neville knew exactly what to do…. She considered momentarily that if she were to pretend to trip, she might convince him to take her to the hospital wing, to either delay or avoid the question entirely. But whether it was intentional, or because her mind had been too busy scheming, she tripped over a desk leg in the front row. My desk, my blessed little desk!
In a flash Lupin had cut the distance between them and caught her mid-fall. She lay draped over his arm as if they had just finished a particularly flourished waltz, and he had dipped her for the grand finish. Well this is different.
Hermione smiled as she remembered him try to set her back on her feet. She would never understand why, but she resisted the action. He probably thought she was just dizzy, because he wasn't trying too hard. Nevertheless her arms innocently snaked up around his, gripping just below his shoulders in case he decided it would be better for her to fall.
"Miss Granger," Lupin warned huskily, almost growling. She had a fleeting suspicion that he wasn't warning her. She looked over his features, the ones in her view anyway, until finally her eyes found his. She let them linger, indefinitely. He wanted so desperately to look away, but he seemed unable. She watched as many emotions flickered within his eyes. Some she didn't understand, but there were so many that she could scarcely catch them all. He was berating himself, she could tell. He needed to let her go, because he was supposed to. Yet he didn't. She could almost hear his conscience.
Let her go, it would nag. Then another voice would say 'no'.
She only came here to ask you a question; you're taking advantage of her!
No. She initiated. She fell into my arms. She's taking advantage!
Another side of him was surfacing; a dangerous – no consequences – side. She admitted perhaps she shouldn't have been egging him on either, and had she not been right there in his arms, the thought of it would have been quite absurd.
Solid minutes passed and neither could look away, neither would risk breaking their gaze not even to blink. His inner berating raged on and she gripped him tighter as he started to look more decisive. His eyes softened and stopped searching all at once. He tilted her back on to her feet, much more forcefully than before.
"Hermione," he said gently, his hands pulling away from her. She wanted to reach down and stop them; she needed them back where they had been. But she couldn't risk letting go. Do SOMETHING! Her mind seemed to scream. "I–" was all he could get out before her lips crashed upon his fiercely. She closed her eyes unable to bear seeing him look at her. She felt him move his hands to her shoulders to try and shake her off.
No, stop it. She wanted to shout at him. She reached up and grabbed his neck, pulling his mouth closer to hers. His objections seemed to be less obvious than all at once he'd grabbed her waist and was pulling her closer to him. Her hold on his neck seemed her only support, as her legs quickly became jelly. His actions were frenzied, as his lips worked ravenously. She felt him lick her lower lip, practically begging them to part. Never being one to disobey a teacher she complied. A teacher, oh dear, her mind might have thought if it hadn't been so busy with other, more pressing sensations. She felt like this needed to progress, she wanted him to pull her the floor or to the desk. She ran her hands through his hair, tousling it as best as she could. He in return continued to explore her mouth with an increased vigor. Unable to contain herself any longer she moaned slightly against his lips.
Lupin jumped away from her quickly at the noise, leaving her lips feeling cold, and bruised three feet away. It was as if her sound had reminded him exactly whom he was dealing with. He looked delectable, she couldn't help but thinking, and he blushed furiously as if he had heard her thoughts. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his robe and returned to the seat behind the desk. She noticed he was panting slightly, and it occurred to her, that she was also.
"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. Sorry? Sorry! She thought. So am I, sorry you stopped. "I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. I'm your teacher, I'm supposed to look out for you, not…." he blushed even harder.
She wished then she were more gutsy, a little more daring. She wanted nothing more than to throw everything off his desk and, and continue. But Gryffindor or not, she was not that brave.
She looked to the floor, reality slapping her in the face; and for some reason it resembled her own hand. She realized what she had done was indeed inappropriate. Lupin was always so controlled (he would have to be), and she had toyed with his ability to say no without thinking of the possible repercussions. She felt guilty, but not regretful. So it was with a degree of shame that she finally realized, the dangerous, no-consequence side, had surfaced from within her, not him. Sighing in defeat, she lifted her eyes and met his gaze once more. She couldn't quite read his expression but it wasn't cold or angry. She felt more reassured.
"May I ask you that question?" Hermione inquired, smiling. He looked terribly nervous. He swallowed.
"Yes." Lupin replied trying to copy her casual smile, albeit unsuccessfully.
"Do you have any chocolate?" he blinked.
"Sorry,"
"I've been dying for some chocolate, since supper," She continued shyly, she imagined looking suddenly quite innocent. He nodded unable or unwilling to reply. He opened up his drawer and pulled out half of a muggle chocolate bar folded haphazardly in a wrapper that she recognised.
"Thank you, sir," she smiled, putting it into her pocket. "Good night,"
"Good night…." Lupin replied not quite looking her in the eye. "Hermione?" She turned back around. "This will not be on the test." She would have thought he was being cheeky if it weren't for his worried tone. She silently understood and agreed.
"Don't worry sir, I won't…"
...
"Miss Granger," she heard Professor Lupin say. She looked up hurriedly and he took a step back from her desk. "Do you know the answer?"
"Sorry Professor, what was the question?" A few people gasped, although teasingly only. He sighed.
"In the future please do pay attention."
"Sorry sir," she would never know what possessed her to do it, but she ventured on feeling unusually confident in herself. "I was just thinking about something else," Then she reached into her robe and pulled out a piece of chocolate, and took a bite. But not, of course, without letting him realize what it was first. The whole room seemed to be holding a collective breath. Professor Lupin nodded. And he continued to nod all the way over to his desk. Taking his seat he finally stopped.
"If you'll all turn to page 241, and answer all the questions on the board to be handed in tomorrow." Without another word he put his head down, and started writing away. A few seconds later he waved his wand over the paper and his writing appeared on the chalkboard. She felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned about and noticed Harry and Ron looking at her strangely, more strangely than usual anyway.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked in disbelief. Harry seemed to be wondering the same thing.
"Oh nothing," Hermione replied, glancing back at her open book. She noticed Professor Lupin looking at the sky through one of the windows. She smiled. How could she not?