Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: M/M
Fandom: Batman - All Media Types
Relationship: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson
Additional Tags: Assisted Suicide, Angst
Summary: Tim goes missing from the face of the earth and Jason finds him.
Notes: I finally got my Bad Things Happen Bingo Card! This first prompt, Mercy Killing, is requested by Thotwing on tumblr. Want to request one of your own? Just drop by my tumblr (the-fawnling) and send me an ask.
Tim's apartment was empty when Jason stopped over. Jason stood in the living room and knew that he was the only living thing that had been there for a long time. He found this odd because not only was Tim still getting mail there, all his shit was still there. It worried Jason more than he cared to admit. He had come over hoping to have breakfast with Tim - something they did while Jason was in Gotham - but apparently that wasn't happening today.
Before Jason shot off the balcony, he sent a text asking where Tim was. The text was never answered and before long, Jason was occupied with his next case. The thought niggled in the back of his mind but maybe Tim had just changed his number. Maybe it had been compromised somehow. It wasn't the first time it had happened, Jason assured himself as he shot a sex trafficker between the eyes.
It took a while before Jason realized that Tim wasn't just missing in the apartment. He was missing in Gotham. None of the other heroes talked about him. He was a blank space that they just walked around. Every time Jason asked about him, the conversation was redirected or he was met with an 'I dunno where he is.' Jason hadn't seen Tim in months, not on the streets and not at home. Apparently, no one else had either.
Jason was the only one worried. The only one who was really worried. Tim hadn't disappeared for this long since he'd been thought dead. No one knew where he was and no one cared. Damian had often called Tim 'the easily forgotten Robin' but Jason never saw him like that. He needed to find his brother and he needed to do it soon because every day without knowing where Tim was sent Jason up the wall.
When he wanted to, Jason could be so so quiet. He didn't have Tim's ability to fade completely into the background but he could come close to it. Red Hood slowly vanished from the streets. He became a shadow; darkness incarnate come to wreck havoc on the bad guys and then disappear into the night like a phantom. Most of the time, though, Red Hood was following Dick and Damian. If anyone knew where his brother had gone it was his other two brothers. This was how Jason found out Tim's whereabouts.
He was at Wayne Manor.
That was all that Jason understood. When Dick and Damian spoke of Tim they never used his name or any of his aliases so it had taken a while to understand who they were speaking of. The things they said didn't make any sense either. It was like they were speaking another language; one that Jason didn't know. For all that he didn't know, the where was enough for Jason.
Breaking into Wayne Manor was so, so easy. Bruce and Alfred were long dead and Tim had built a trap door in the security for Jason to get through. No one had found or plugged that hole. It was as easy as strolling through the front door. Jason had the cameras playing on loop. He wasn't sure what he would find but Jason knew in his gut that it wouldn't be good.
He had one night to find Tim because after tonight, Jason didn't think he could keep doing this. He couldn't keep worrying. He needed answers. Jason intended to search the manor from top to bottom but it proved unnecessary after searching the first few guest rooms.
All of the furniture had been moved out of the room. In its place was a large white thing like a pod. The room was dark except for the LED timer on the pod. It was counting down. Instinct told Jason that Tim was in that thing. He approached warily, ran his fingertips over the smooth surface. It felt warm to the touch. There were no windows or buttons on the pod. Two silver handles jutted out front the front. Jason studied it for a long moment. He had no fucking clue what it was but he knew that Batman hadn't finalized any healing pods and that someone would have fucking mentioned Tim being hurt that bad.
Actually, when he thought of it, the thing sort of looked like an oversized coffin.
The idea that Tim was dead in there made Jason's throat swell shut with emotion. No. Nope. Not thinking about that. Jason walked around the device again before deciding that opening it wouldn't have any negative effects on the person inside. He didn't understand what the timer was for but opening the pod would probably be okay. If not, Jason was fairly good at putting people back together. He'd figure it out.
Jason opened the pod. The top swung up and the interior suddenly glowed with neon blue lights. He smelled saltwater. There was only about two feet worth of water in the pod but the fact that it was there at all was baffling.
Floating in the water was Tim. He was naked and pale, face drawn and skeletal. His chest rose and fell shallowly. Tim didn't move a fucking inch, didn't react to the sudden light or Jason's presence. His eyes were open but he didn't blink for a long time. He didn't look very alive but he definitely wasn't dead.
Jason had honestly never seen anything more terrifying in his life. Tim's name caught in his throat several times before Jason was able to force it past his lips. "Tim?" He reached out to touch his brother then hesitated. Everything about this was sick and wrong and Jason didn't understand what was going on here. One thing was for certain, he needed to get Tim out of this thing. "Hey, baby bird," Jason tried again.
Tim didn't move. Didn't react at all.
Gods. Fuck. That was scary. Jason steeled himself then reached down and touched Tim's shoulder. His skin was damp above the water and it didn't fall off him like Jason had half expected it to.
Tim blinked. It was a slow, dazed blink.
Well, that was something. Jason reached under Tim's arms and hauled him out. He was pretty sure that Titus weighed more than Tim did now. Tim was so light that Jason stumbled backwards into the wall.
Tim gasped. He was slow to come to back to life but when he did he screamed. Tim curled in on himself and wailed. He held his hands out in front of him, shaking, like he didn't know what to do with them.
"Tim! Tim! Hey, hey, baby, relax. I've got you. It's just me. I've got you, Tim. I've got you, baby bird." Jason held on to his brother, held on for dear fucking life even though Tim wasn't trying to get away. The screaming racketed up his spine and twisted all of his nerves until Jason slapped a hand over Tim's mouth. He turned Tim's face towards him, so that he could look Tim in the eye. "Hush, baby bird. I've got you."
The screaming cut off as abruptly as it started. Tim stared at him with pupils narrowed to pinpricks. That wasn't right. It was dark in here, his pupils should be dilated. Tim moved his mouth several times before he was able to speak, "J-Jason?" His voice was raw, sandpaper and chainsaws and creaking glaciers. It was like he hadn't used his voice in months.
"The one and only." Jason couldn't even bring himself to smile. Something was wrong here. Something was so, so wrong here. He held Tim close. All he could smell was saltwater; Tim's natural scent was gone. Erased. "What happened? Why were you in there?"
For a second Tim just looked confused. Then his expression turned dark and guarded. The next instant his expression was open and earnest. "I need you to help me, Jay." He clung to Jason's jacket. His hands still shook, his legs trembled beneath him. Jason was the only thing keeping him upright.
"What do you need?"
Tim's blue eyes shone with desperation. "They won't let me die."
Jason stopped breathing. When he finally sucked in a breath it was painful. "What?"
"Damian and Dick. They won't let me die." Tim twisted in Jason's arms, pushed all his weight against him. They fell back against the wall again. Tim licked his lips. "You aren't like them, though. You'll help me, won't you? Please help me, Jay."
Jason's ears rang. He knew what Tim was saying but...but that couldn't be right. Tim wanting to die was...it sounded… Jason shook his head. "Let's find you some clothes." Because Tim was still naked and the manor wasn't known for its central heating. "Can you walk?"
Tim shrugged. He seemed annoyed.
Jason ducked down to scoop him up bridal style. "Do you really want to die?"
Tim wrapped his arms around Jason's neck. He laid his head against Jason's chest. "Don't fucking patronize me, Jason."
That was a yes. Jason left the room but he didn't feel any better for it. Tim was soaking his uniform. He was suddenly uncomfortably aware that he was armed and all his guns were loaded. He tried to stay calm but his heart was pounding and he knew that Tim would be able to feel it. "Would you walk me through the reasoning?"
Tim started with a list of everyone he loved who had died. It was a long list. He then listed how many of those deaths were his fault and "shut up Jason, they are." He explained how he had barely escaped the slaughter at Sanctuary because he'd gotten in a fight with Roy and wanted to go for a walk and that was when they'd struck. "I should have died with them, Jay." Tim told him what it was like to miss out on going to school, on becoming the CEO of a company at sixteen. He told him about how he was responsible for lining everyone's pockets and making sure that his employees were well taken care of and how three lab students had died testing new Batman toys and Tim had had to write the letters to their families. "They were just kids, Jason. They didn't even know that the toys were for the Family."
Tim talked about the Teen Titans while Jason went into his room and found one of Bruce's old shirts squirreled away and a pair of sweats. He talked about the shit Damian was trying to pull by taking the company from him while Jason dressed him and grabbed a blanket and carried him outside. Tim barely paused when the night air hit him. He blinked and looked around then kept talking, this time about how he'd been made into Joker's and Harley's pet and the hell they'd put him through. Gods, he had so much to fucking say. It was just one thing piled on top of another.
Jason was tired just listening to him. He'd been through some of that drama and more of his own and he could empathize. Listening to Tim, Jason honestly couldn't say what was keeping him going. He couldn't imagine what was keeping Tim going. And he realized, painfully, that there was nothing keeping him going. Tim was alive because Damian and Dick literally wouldn't let him die.
Jason walked out to the flower garden with Tim in his arms. It was tended as always though Alfred had long since passed. The flowers lent a fresh, sweet smell to the air. He spread out the blanket then set Tim down on it. He sat down behind him and pulled Tim close.
Tim leaned against him with a sigh. "It's hell being in there."
"What is it?"
"A sensory deprivation tank. I can't hear, see, smell, or feel anything." Tim rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "It only opens from the outside."
A coffin. They'd put their brother in a coffin and unlike Jason, Tim couldn't escape. Jason held him tighter. "How long have you been in there?"
Tim hummed. "They let me out every three or four days but that's just to force another nutrient tablet into me so that I don't starve to death." He sounded resigned to his fate.
That explained the timer. Except… "How long?"
"What month is it?"
"September."
"About six months."
Rage poured into Jason's veins. It flooded his system and Jason hadn't felt such a keen sense of injustice since he'd found out that Joker was still alive after murdering him. He pressed his lips to Tim's neck, right over the scar he'd put there years ago.
Tim gave an appreciative noise. He reached back and threaded his fingers in Jason's hair. In a whisper he asked, "Will you do it?"
How could he answer that? His baby brother was hurting, was carrying the weight of the fucking world on his shoulders. What Tim was doing didn't even classify as living anymore. The tears spilled over before Jason could stop them. They poured hot down his cheeks and onto Tim's shoulder.
"Please, Jay." Tim nuzzled him. He pressed into Jason as though hoping he could be absorbed into him.
"I love you," Jason said because he didn't know what else to say. He was sobbing now, hurt noises tearing from his throat. He shook as he cried and clung so hard to Tim. He wished he could absorb Tim into his body and just keep him there forever; happy and safe and warm and loved.
"I know," Tim whispered. He sounded like he was in pain. His fingers tightened in Jason's hair. "I love you too."
Gods, Jason was going to die. His heart hurt so much he thought it might give out. He felt sick with the knowledge that Tim wanted to die. Sick with the knowledge of what Damian and Dick had done to keep him alive. Why did this have to happen to him? Why was he the one Tim begged for release from? Jason's body felt hot and feverish and so full of pain. He buried his face into Tim's shoulder and could barely smell his normal scent on the t-shirt he wore. Bruce's scent was long gone. He missed it. He missed both of them. What was he going to do without Tim? "But not enough…" The words got caught in Jason's throat.
"It isn't about you, Jay. I just. I need to. Please, Jason. Please. I want you to do it." Tim twisted around and kissed him. He licked the tears off Jason's cheek. His voice turned wet with emotion and he cried too. The tears spilled down between them. "I love you. I love you so much. Please do this for me. Please. I love you. Jay, please, I don't want to live anymore." He kissed Jason again.
How many times had Jason thought of kissing Tim? Of holding him in his arms and telling him that he loved him? None of his fantasies had ever played out like this. The reality was raw and painful, like a knife in the back and salt in the wound. Jason kissed Tim back, kissed him hard because this was the only chance he'd get to do it. Because he knew that no matter how much feeling he poured into the kiss, Jason couldn't make Tim want to live. "How?" Jason took a deep breath. "How do you want…?"
Tim lifted Jason's hands from the small of his back to his neck. "Just like this." He kissed Jason again. "This is perfect." His lips tasted like salt against Jason's. "It's okay. I promise." He pressed Jason's hands hard against his neck. "I love you, Jason Todd."
Jason felt the bones and tendons in Tim's neck shifting. His hands were so big compared to Tim's slender frame. Tim wasn't just slender anymore; he was skinny and skeletal. The nutrients their brothers had been feeding him were keeping him alive but only just. Jason kissed him. He splayed his fingers over Tim's neck and felt his steady pulse beneath his palm. Tim wasn't afraid of dying, wasn't afraid of the pain that would come, or that Jason would somehow botch the job. "I love you too, Tim." All it took was a surge of strength. A wretch of his hands.
Tim's neck broke so easily as though he was naught but a doll in the hands of a child. A bird in the jaws of a cat. His body slumped against Jason's, limp and still.
Jason cradled him, held him close. He rocked back and forth, ignored the way Tim's head lolled with the movement. The tears came down again, tasted like salt as they dipped into the corners of his mouth. He pressed his lips into Tim's soft hair and keened. Jason cried out his grief, his heartache, both storms overfilling him. Raging oceans inside him that showed no signs of ceasing. This wasn't what Jason had wanted when he went looking for Tim. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He whispered it over and over again.
The sun was a pink glow in the east as it began to rise and Jason still cried and begged forgiveness and proclaimed his love to the boy who could no longer hear it. He didn't move even though Dick and Damian would be returning at any moment. He couldn't bare to think of leaving Tim's body but he didn't know where to take it. Jason was still among the flowers when Damian and Dick came home. He clung to Tim's body and sobbed, barely aware of their presence.
Jason didn't pay attention when Damian approached. He didn't notice when Damian slipped one of his guns from its holster. The bullet ripped through his brain so fast that Jason wasn't aware of being shot in the first place. He didn't hear Dick screech or the scuffle that happened between the oldest and youngest brothers. Jason didn't see the way Dick collapsed in Damian's arms or the way he sobbed openly as the sun turned golden and promised Gotham a beautiful day. "It was a mercy killing, Richard."