'Dear Ash,
Everyone is over at Professor Oak's lab. There's nothing to worry about, but all of us wish to talk to you.
Love you lots,
Mom'
This was the note one Ash Ketchum found on the front door of the house he shared with his mother. His starter Pokémon and best friend, Pikachu, sat on his shoulder as he read the note as well.
"Pika?" asked the Mouse Pokémon looking from the note to Ash.
"Yeah, Pikachu, I think so, too. Be ready, just in case," said Ash as the pair headed to the lab/corral.
"Hello? Is anyone here?" called Ash as he entered the main building.
"We're out back, Ash," said Prof. Oak in reply.
Ash and Pikachu exited out the back sliding door and came face to face with all of the friends he made on his journey, as well as a few of his rivals.
"Mr. Ketchum, we're here today to talk about your performance in the last six league competitions," started Prof. Oak. "From your first league at Indigo Plateau to most recently at the Lumiose Conference, not once have you ever won a league competition. Not only that, but in every region, you and your friends have been caught up in dealing with the various teams and the Legendary Pokémon of the region you're in, endangering you, your friends, and all your combined Pokémon! I'm sorry, but enough is enough. I'm hereby revoking you trainer's license."
Suddenly, a blue glow surrounded Ash, just as a man on a Charizard swooped in and shouted "NO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE, OAK?!"
"YES! I'm finally free of your blasted aura-enforced oath, you piece of Bouffalant excrement!" yelled Ash as he angrily walked up and punched the man in his stomach.(1)
"Ash! That's no way to treat your father!" yelled his mom before she rushed up to her husband.
"He is no father to me. Did you not hear the words 'aura-enforced oath'?" Ash asked heatedly.
Everyone just looked at the man who was still curled up from the punch Ash gave him, with Prof. Oak and Delia looking in horrified shock. "Oh, Red, you didn't..." started Oak as he put two and two together.(2)
"Wait, he's Red Ketchum?" asked Paul, one of Ash's now ex-rivals.
"Yeah, and he's the one who made this mess," started Ash. "He found an old book of prophecies pertaining to a person called 'The Chosen One'. This person will be the one who unites all people and Pokémon in harmony. This was from before he and mom married, about a couple of years before they even met. He somehow got it into his head to convince Arceus that he would sire the child of destiny. A few years after I was born, he forced that oath on me then disappeared. Arceus kept him off of all the Teams radar, and allowed me to go around and clean up their mess."
Ash then turned to Prof. Oak. "My seeing Ho-Oh that day was not a mistake. He was sent to make sure I was staying on the path dad and Arceus started."
"So that blue glow?" asked Max slowly.
"Was Prof. Oak here releasing me from that vow, since it only remained valid so long as I was still a trainer. And I couldn't release it myself as it had to be done by an outside influence," replied Ash.
"So your whole time as a trainer?" asked Misty.
"Was me under the wording of the oath. He had me vow to be a trainer just like him. Unfortunately, while he is a Master Trainer now, he was just as much an idiot as I was forced to be," said Ash, scowling at the man as he finally uncurled from the punch.
"It was such a perfect plan! Arceus would manipulate those prophecies to make sure they applied to Ash. He and the Legendaries would be safe, and I would be eternally famous as the father of this world's savior!" cried Red before being slapped on the left cheek by Delia.
"We're getting a divorce!" she cried before turning to her son and started crying on his shoulders.
"It's okay, mom. I want him out of our lives, too," said Ash as he patted her back softly.
"Well, Ash, if you weren't under that oath growing up, what did you want to do?" asked Prof. Oak.
"Well..." he started, before spinning around, his clothes changing into a clown's outfit, complete with makeup, red nose, and a rainbow afro wig.
"I always wanted to be a circus clown!" yelled Ash, before he started dancing to a song that just appeared out of nowhere.
"Rah-dah dah-dah-dah-dah dah-dah, circus! Rah-dah dah-dah-dah-dah dah-dah, afro! Circus afro! Circus afro! Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot! Afro!" sang Ash as everything around him started swirling together…
"Gah!" shouted Ash as he fell off the futon he was sleeping on in the loft area of Kukui's lab.
"Wow, what a weird dream, especially that kicker before I woke up," he muttered to himself. "Okay, no more sweet sriracha malasadas before bed for me," he said as he climbed down the ladder to get the anti-acid tabs from the bathroom.
AN: Just a random cracked plot that came up. Enjoy.
(1) Ash loves his mother too much to swear in front of her. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
(2) There is no way Ash wouldn't have some arm strength with all the Pokémon he's held and lifted up.