Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter Jk Rowling does! This is a prequel to A Professor's Secret. Let me know what you think please! If you want me to continue this or not?
A Professor's Scandal
The windowpane felt cool beneath my cheek. My throbbing head welcomed the coolness. I opened my eyelids and allowed my gaze to wonder to the bright scenery outside the glass. I felt yet another tear slip down my face. Last night kept replaying in my mind like a serenade, he touched me because he wanted to. That was his choice. When I kissed him it was his decision to kiss back. When he pulled my shirt off, and when he laid my body down, and when he said he loved me, it was all him. No one forced it from him, I, despite how willing I was, sure as hell didn't force it from him.
Everything we did, everything that happened was done with mutual compliance. He wanted it, he wanted me. I wanted- want- him. It doesn't seize to amaze me how something so understood so clear could change so drastically in the matter of a night. By morning he was gone. But not before he told me it was a mistake, it was wrong, it should of never happened. What the hell? Just thinking of everything I jeopardized to have last night with him makes me sick.
How could I do it? Why did I do it? Who knew I even felt that way about Professor Snape of all people! I keep telling myself that I didn't even realize it was him, though in the back of my mind I very well did know the moment I decided to approach him. In fact that's why I approached him.
I get up and palm my forehead as I paced back and fourth. I think of Ben. Oh how could I? Poor Ben doesn't deserve this. I don't know how I'm going to be able to face him tomorrow when I board the Hogwarts express. He'll look at me and smile as if he's looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. Little would he know he'll be starring at the foulest thing in the world- as implied by last nights lover. However even so, even now, I can't bring myself to regret it. I enjoyed it, I crave it. Not just what happened physically, but being close to him at all felt like heaven.
I invaded his mind, I penetrated the walls he has so sturdily built around him. And each second of his presence felt amazing. He claims that he was drunk, but he wasn't. He didn't once touch the drink he had ordered. I groan in frustration. Then tears begin to slip from my eyes yet again. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him. Why? Maybe it was wrong. But even so, it happened and nothing can change that. I wouldn't want anything to change that even if it could.
"You remind me of someone.." he whispered.
It's been driving me insane! Who do I remind him of? He told me I remind him of someone right before he brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. Before I felt the edges of his fingers on my face.
A small chuckle raises in me as I imagine the reaction people would have if anyone ever found out. Scandal. Lisa Scherrel: Gryffindor's slut. 'Oh so that's why her grade are so top notch' 'Who knew Snape was a pedophile'
The humor however is short lived as I once again realize my reality. What the hell am I doing? This is crazy, it's mad! Honestly my professor! But one thing is for certain. Tomorrow when I arrive back at Hogwarts for my last year, it will be with a mission. I will find out why he reacted that way and I will find a way to get him back.