*A/N This is kind of an AU set post season 4 and inspired by one of my favorite songs that gives me ginormous Paric feels, She Believes In Me. I don't own it or Pam and Eric. Infinite sadness. Hope you like it!
Eric sighed as he closed Fangtasia's back door and fired up his beloved Corvette. Between a busy night at Fangtasia and dealing with some area five business, his whole night was pretty much shot as seemed to be the norm as of late. It was rough running the club without Pam; the cancerous rots that Marnie had infected her with had finally dissipated when Marnie had died, but she was still weak from them and recuperating at home, but only because he had insisted. He felt horrible that he had been so detached from her during her illness. He felt even worse about the way he had put Sookie before her. Pam had never mentioned it, but he knew his disregard for her once his memory had returned was infinitely more painful than the rots that ravaged her body. The amnesia he had been stricken with and his unfolding actions because of it had almost ruined their existence, and he was determined to make things right again.
Things weren't exactly going as he would have preferred, though. Somebody had to run the business and govern over area five, but it left Pamela alone far too much. He had given her free range to spoil herself with all the lavish gifts she wanted, and she had gladly taken full advantage of his VISA card, but the finest jewels in the world could not make him for him not being around when she had needed him most. He had to do better.
He finally arrived at their home that she had extensively laid out with her exquisite taste in décor and quietly slipped in the front door. She was probably sleeping upstairs in their shared bedroom and he wanted her to get all the rest that she could. He slowly descended the stairs and stopped in their doorway and smiled. His vicious little princess looked positively angelic as she snoozed, and Eric found himself mesmerized by her beauty, as he so often did. Before he knew it, fifteen minutes had passed and finally he entered the room, draping his leather jacket over a nearby chair. Not wanting to wake her, he didn't bother to flip the light on and silently slipped out of his clothes and down to his boxers.
Gently slipping behind her in bed and thinking he had managed to lay down undetected, he wrapped a strong arm around her waist and snuggled up to her.
"How was your night?" came Pam's whispering voice.
Eric mentally punched himself. He had hoped that she would rest peacefully while he was gone to work, but she had been patiently waiting on him to come back home. He should have closed the bar during her healing process and given her the constant care and attention that she needed and deserved but his greed and addiction to the fame and attention that he garnered from the fang bangers had clouded his judgment. It was the vampire equivalent of being a rock star, but right now he didn't feel much like Mick Jagger; he felt like a bigger douchebag than Bill Compton. She needed rest though, and he didn't want to keep her from it with conversation.
"It was alright." He finally replied.
Pam sniffled and closed her eyes. Through their shared bond, he knew she was feigning sleep for him. He rolled over and stretched out on his back and began counting the ceiling tiles. After three or four minutes of mindless boredom and guilt he finally climbed out of bed and headed downstairs to warm up a bottle of TruBlood. As he got to the staircase, he heard her voice call after him "Wake me when you're through."
Eric placed his TruBlood in the microwave and angrily mashed the buttons to warm it. He felt completely undeserving of the blind and faithful love that she had showed him each and every day in the hundred or so years since she had become his. The adoring looks that she directed his way told him that in her eyes he was the greatest vampire to ever walk this Earth. He had never been great at expressing his true feelings, but until he had recently failed her, Eric had been certain that she knew that he thought her to be the most perfect creature on the planet and that he loved her with every fiber of his being. On the night that she had first rose out of her grave he had promised that someday they would rule the world together forever. Things were different now, though.
She believed that he could fly her to the moon and back even though Eric was certain he made it difficult at times. It wasn't the rest that she needed that was keeping him from rushing upstairs, falling to his knees, and begging for her forgiveness; it was a combination of guilt and pride. Pamela would never expect or want him to apologize, and it was that kind of unwavering devotion that made him ache with guilt in the deepest pit of his gut. He suddenly felt her sadness through their bond and rushed upstairs without thinking.
Swiftly entering the bedroom, Eric fell to his knees by her side and gently stroked her golden locks.
"Pamela, you know I've always loved you the most, don't you?"
She fought back a sob and gave him one of her patented adoring gazes. "You didn't need to tell me that, Eric."
Eric gently brought his lips to hers and gently pushed her to the other side of the bed so he could join her and envelope her in his embrace.
"This time, I did, Pam. This time I did."
She snuggled into him and finally drifted back into dreamland. Eric had known that an apology wouldn't be necessary. Her love for him was perfect, and maybe someday he would find a way to deserve it.