Prologue: Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Lucas wasn't sure what woke him up at 3:00 in the morning. It was a toss-up between the jarring nightmare that had left his flushed face wet with tears, and the faint cries of a new born baby in the other room. He wiped his face with a shaking hand before using those hands to push his physically fatigued frame off of the leather couch.

Lucas stalked across the dark living room to his mom's old room that he, with a little help, had turned into a nursery a few days prior. After making all the preparations for Karen's funeral, Lucas needed a new project to keep himself occupied, as if taking care of a newborn baby wasn't enough.

But he couldn't sit still. He couldn't allow the callous reality of the predicament he was in, to sink in and take the root and shape of a grim future he wasn't prepared to face.

But for now, that future was at the very back of his mind. He was living in the present, devoting every ounce of himself to caring and raising his little sister Lily.

She had gotten her name shortly after Karen died. Lucas had a dream and in his dream, his mom told him to look for her in the lilies. A teary-eyed Lucas held the small child in his large hands and gave her the name.

Standing at his side, a picturesque model of a supportive friend, was none other than Peyton Sawyer.

Peyton was there through it all. She helped him put on his scrubs when they delivered Lily, she was there comforting Lucas while Karen was fighting for her life and she was there cradling Lucas in her arms when Karen passed away.

She was a godsend. Her kindness was overwhelming and inspiring. If there was any reason for Lucas being able to take his mind off his grim future, it was her.

Haley had been his best friend in title for as long as he could remember. Peyton might not have had the title, but she certainly was doing everything for Lucas that a best friend would do. Hell she was doing everything that a spouse would do, barring physical intimacy.

After Karen's death Peyton moved into his house. She had done so without Lucas having to ask and he did not protest.

Peyton's presence was what prevented Lucas from running at full speed to Lily's room from the couch at the sound of her cries. He knew that Peyton would be there (she was always there) to comfort Lily and rock her back into a peaceful sleep.

He stood at the doorway and watched as Peyton rocked Lily back and forth. Her hair swayed in loose curls as it lightly brushed against her bare shoulder, exposed by the loose white tee shirt that she donned as sleepwear. He couldn't help but marvel at her.

Almost as if she felt his very presence, she turned her whole body towards him, her features illuminated by the glow of the nightlight in the corner of the room.

"She's asleep," Lucas whispered in a feral tone.

Peyton, so aware of Lucas' presence, hadn't immediately noticed that the baby was no longer crying, which was why she had come into the room in the first place. She gently laid Lily back down in her crib as Lucas came over to watch the slumbering baby. It was then, as he came into a closer view, that Peyton noticed the faint tear streaks on his face and the grayish tint of his eyes. It should have been impossible to notice the off coloring of his eyes simply because the night light radiated a steely blue. Peyton knew those eyes better than anyone.

"Another nightmare?" she asked Lucas, in a hushed, soothing tone partially for the sleeping baby and partially for the purpose of comforting a shaken Lucas.

He swallowed, looking up at her with vulnerable eyes as he shook his head before moving his eyes to stare down at his feet.

She stepped forward, no doubt to pull Lucas in her arms, but he resisted, citing a sore shoulder and neck as the reason for his refusal to let her hold him.

"Maybe you should sleep in your room tonight. I'm sure that couch isn't doing your shoulder any good," Peyton suggested.

"No, I'm fine Peyton. The room is all yours. And don't worry about coming in to get Lily again, I've got her. You should get some sleep."

"I think she'll be down for the rest of the night anyway. Goodnight Lucas."

"Goodnight Peyton."

"Hey," he called out to her as he followed her into the room, "It means a lot that you're here Peyton. I mean it."

"I don't mind, Lucas. I love being that girl for you. And her," she added. "I'll see you in the morning."

And with that, Lucas was left alone in the darkness.

But he couldn't go back to sleep, not after the nightmare he just had. His dream was a repeat of his mother's final seconds. The sound of the flat-lining ECG machine was unnerving. Even though he was glad he was able to see his mom in her final seconds, the memory of it was so flagrant and it haunted him to his very core.

He stayed awake and thought about the lie he'd just told Peyton. There was nothing wrong with his neck or his shoulder.

When Peyton showed up on his doorstep immediately after the funeral with a large duffel bag and the intention of staying until she left for her internship a month later, Lucas couldn't say he was surprised. Peyton had helped shoulder his burdens throughout everything, not just Karen's death.

She was there for him when Brooke broke up with him. She was there when he started playing basketball again. And she was there making him smile, even while he was in the midst of uncovering Keith's murderer and dealing with the man that had abandoned him and his mom when he was young.

Of course he had been there for her as well. He could still remember the nights in his room after Peyton was attacked. He had no problems sharing a bed with her when he was protecting her and keeping her safe. She exposed herself to him. Not physically, but emotionally, baring her soul and her innermost thoughts. Well the ones that didn't involve her being in love with him. He really had no idea of her romantic feelings for him.

The biggest topic of discussion for them had been the internship she had applied for and how she was afraid that she wouldn't get it. And even more than that, how she was afraid that she would get the internship.

"So tell me again why you're such a wuss about going to LA?"

"I am not a wuss okay. I'm just….what if I go all the way out to LA and figure out that this internship is just a step backwards? The music scene out there is so filled with pretentious record execs that only care about making money and exploiting their artists. I don't want to have to compromise anything."

"So don't. Peyton this internship is just a stepping stone. You already have so much to be proud of, but who knows, you might go to LA and find yourself. You might decide that it's the place you belong."

"You mean away from my home in Tree Hill and….my friends?"

She eyed him slowly at the "friends" part. Since Brooke was also going to LA and then to NY shortly after that, Lucas was honestly the only one in Tree Hill she would miss enough to reconsider staying. But of course they were just friends, and she couldn't stay in Tree Hill because of a "friend". Could she?

"Peyton, I just…I don't want you to walk away from something like this and regret it. Trust me Peyton, regret sucks."

"Oh yeah?! And what do you regret?"

"All sorts of things."

With Peyton leaving for LA in a month, Lucas had to exercise complete caution with his emotions. Of course they were friends at the moment, but with how amazing Peyton had been with him and with Lily, Lucas couldn't take any chances. And that's why the couch was a better idea than his bed. If she held him one more time, he wouldn't want her to let go. He'd be damned if she didn't realize her greatness in LA. And so went his thought process when rationalizing his lie to Peyton.

However, all the validation in the world couldn't help him escape the guilt.

She deserved more, much more.