Please...don't take this seriously, I implore you. This was a little...plot bunny that kept hopping around my mind and I finally had the guts to write it last night in the A.M.'s.

Sigh, this is what FanFiction does to me.

"Wh-..wha' di' you coll me? I'm no' a kangaroo, mate."

"Really? You look like one."

"No, no I don't."

"Whatever, this can't be happening…there's no way this is true."

"Hey, why don't you guys find a truce of some kind?"

Both of them snapped at the frost spirit, "Keep your gab shut, Frostie!"

Jack Frost inched away and settled back on staring at the two.

They turned back to each other, trying to find some kind of lie.

"This is rubbish."

"Me?! You're sayin' rubbish!"

"Oh, bel' up."

He narrowed his eyes.

He scowled harshly.

"I'm the Easter Bunny."

North and Tooth shared a glance, Jack whispered/groaned to Sandy, "Oh, boy."

The shorter of the two gestured to himself, "I'm the Easter Bunny, see? It's in the name, E.B., my parents didn't use those two initials for nothing." He stomped his foot, "Easter Bunny."

Bunny crossed his arms, "Ya wanna kno' sumthin' ya galah? I didn' ge' a fancy name for no reason, fluffy. Aster E. Bunnymund. It's also 'in the name', ya gumbie."

E.B. huffed, his ears falling back in anger, he pointed his finger as he leaned closer, "You don't know the first thing about Easter."

"Yes I do!" Bunny snapped, "I spend months fixing every single egg for every single ankle-biter, ya go' me? I don' go 'round in a coa' an' a stick with lil' chickadees doin' my work fo' me."

E.B. gestured to the taller bunny with a mocking laugh, "Well, at least we don't go in Picasso mode, and we don't feed children little eggies with mechanical leg parts."

"They are no' mechanical, ya dingo."

"We have a variety of candy for the kids! You only have chocolate eggs who sit in the grass and the kids eat them off the floor!"

"Easte' is known fo' chocola' eggs, an' I make sure I choose the cleanest places fo' my googies."

The smaller bunny hopped to the floor, "And what about that dance you do before getting sucked into the ground, eh?"

Bunny's ears went up in surprise, "Dance?"

Jack snickered behind his hand, "Dance…"

But the lil' bunny wasn't finished, "What do you need those boomerwacks-"

"Boomerangs."

"-whatever- for anyways? You'r gonna fight the children when they step on your lil' googies?" E.B. snickered, "Googies…"

Bunny rolled his eyes, "Youse use a flyin' contraption ta ge' 'roud the world! Rabbits are mean' fo' the ground! No' the skies with some chick-pulled sleigh!"

North perked up, "Sleigh?"

Tooth whispered to him, "You're not helping, North."

"An' take a gander a' yaself, mate! You're still a kid, irresponsible, bludger, I'd say you don' kno' the firs' thing 'bout Easte'."

"Ha! Yes I do! I'm a fun, happy-hopping, bunny who also is a world famous drummer." He emphasized by mimicking playing the drum, "But you, you stay in your hidey-hole, always stressed and grouchy, painting away your…" he sniggered, "…googies."

Bunny rolled his eyes, "Tha's exactly wha' I'm talkin' 'bout, ya can't handle two things at the same time. Easte' is a fulltime commitment job, you can't juggle tha' an' some crazy hobby."

E.B. wore a smug expression and crossed his arms while leaning on one leg, "Which is why I have a co-worker who helps out."

Suddenly, a man with curly brown hair, a sharp, blue suit, and shades suddenly popped out of nowhere with a grin. He took off his shades and held up his hand, "Hi."

E.B. gestured to the man with one hand, "Meet the Co-Easter Bunny, Fred O'Hare."

Everyone in the room stared at the man until North sighed and rubbed his temples, "This is too much for one day." He walked towards the exit of the room, "Eggnog, anyvon?"

Tooth tentatively held up her hand, "M-Me too, North." She said and flew after her.

Jack cut in, "Where're your paper ears, Freddy the Hare?"

Bunny snapped his jaw closed, "You…how can a human bloke be an EASTE' BUNNY?!"

Jack Frost came, "Bunny, find your happy place…remember, cool, relaxed, snowball fights, sledding, snowy Warren."

"You're no' 'elpin', Frostbite!"

Fred raised a brow and asked E.B. while gesturing to Bunny, "Um…who's that guy?"

E.B. answered in a low voice, with his paw held at the side of his face, "Some guy who claims is the Easter Bunny." He grinned, "I think it's a man in a Bunny suit, look at how fake his ears are? And how big his feet?"

Bunny shouted across the room, "I heard that!"

Fred frowned, "Isn't he infringing copyright like that?"

E.B. shrugged, "Meh."

Bunny pushed Jack away and stalked towards the tiny bunny, "How can you be the Easte' Bunny…an' you poop candy, huh?!"

The bunny in the checkered flannel shirt covered his mouth in shock and his ears stood up, "Oh no, you revealed my secret!"

Fred suddenly remembered the time he was watching's Sam's boss's house and she ate the jellybeans that E.B….brought into the world. He covered his eyes and shook his head, "He poops jellybeans, to be specific."

E.B. drove his elbow in his arm, "Fred! Don't ruin my secret!" he whined/whispered.

Bunny was seething, ready to punch the little guy. E.B. noticed his plans to beat the living daylights out of him, quickly he held up his finger.

"One minute, I got a phone call from my dad."

"There's more of you?!" Bunny gasped, exasperatedly.

E.B. pressed a pink button and in no time, three little bunnies appeared from the window, all ninja-y.

Jack scratched his head with his staff, "Uh, what are those."

The little bunny answered, "The Pink Berets."

They saw Bunny, who was holding his head, and without warning, jumped on him, grabbing onto his ears, a random patch of fur from his back, and the cutie one hung onto his leg.

He freaked out, hopping around the room, yelling that the bunnies let go of him.

Jack grinned like an idiot, "Hey look, Peter Cottontail and his…brothers."

Sandy made the universal picture of a girl; a stickman with a skirt.

"Oh, okay, Peter Cottontail and his sisters."

Sandy facepalmed.

The frost spirit nodded, understandingly, and watched his friend hop around like a rabbit on sugar high. He said to Fred, "I wish it didn't have to come to this…y'know, the two Easter Bunnies fighting like girls."

Fred shrugged, "Hey, at least we didn't bring the Easter Chick into this."

Jack and Sandy both shared a wide eyed, shocked look.

Aussie dictionary:

Belt up: shut up

Take a gander: take a look

Bludger: lazy person

Aaaand that's it, folks. There might be a sequel (I can't believe I'm taking this seriously), but I'm not sure, I'll first have to finish my other story, The Darkness isn't all Bad.