A/N:
Hi everyone! Yes, I'm alive to post a short ficlet on one of my latest anime obsessions! I have become addicted to Nodame Cantabile but have only managed to turn out this short piece about how things could have gone if Nodame were any less Nodame-like. Hehe!
It's probably my favorite episode in the series... can you guess which one it is? Cookies for you if you can! :D
Anyway, hate it? Love it? Drop me a line as I would love to hear from you!
Ja ne!
What… what are these words coming out of my mouth?
That stricken look in his eyes, before the anger surged forth should have stopped me.
And yet…
I can't seem to help myself.
Trembling all over, my body… Why is it always like this, she despaired mutely.
He'll never change. He'll never accept me for who I am.
Her hands gripped the folds of his jacket convulsively. Nodame stared down into the face of the man she had chosen to devote her entire life to, the only person who had forced her to face her music head on and saw her reflection in his eyes.
That's right, she thought bitterly. It was always just my reflection.
Just my reflection… I've been deluding myself all this time.
Chiaki-senpai has never once truly looked at me.
Nodame flexed her hands in the bunched material before she slowly let go, eyes bright with unshed tears.
Chiaki looked up at her in surprise and felt something akin to panic rush through his body at the emotions flickering across her face.
This isn't right; she's not supposed to look at me that way…
"No… Nodame?" he queried tentatively.
Not looking at him, she turned her head to face the setting sun— oblivious to the stares of curious onlookers that had gathered around them at the onset of their argument.
"How can you say such things like I'm not serious about you or my music so easily?" she asked softly.
She turned to face him, a sad smile on her face. "How am I supposed to act then senpai? You come close then you wander away. And no matter how hard I chase after you, I can't seem to reach you."
Nodame shook her head, then jerkily rose to her feet. "I'm the one who can't keep up with you, try as I might."
Stunned by the sudden change in her demeanor, all Chiaki could do was lay still on the ground and listen.
"Perhaps you're right Chiaki-senpai, maybe we should end this. I will always be the way I am. And you," a small self-deprecating laugh escaped her lips. "The rising star that you are, will never accept someone like me."
Yes, this is for the best.
Walk away, one step at a time.
One foot over the other.
Walk away before your heart bleeds more than it already has.