BARCODE
" Comfort... Comfort!". Flickering my eye open as I yawned I heard my dads voice shouting. I sat up on my mattress as I rubbed my eyes. You're probably wandering why I say mattress, well to put it plainly, my brother broke my bed by shagging some girls ( yes it was a busy night for him). Sliding off my mattress onto the floor, I sat up before standing up, rubbing my little baby bump. Yes I am only 11, but thanks my dad for forcing a lad too me, resulting in me now being a single parent.
" Carmina, hurry up will you!" I kissed my teeth at my sister as I stood outside my door waiting fit her to hurry up out the bathroom. The door swung open as my sister emerged, walking to her room. I literally took one step as I got shoved to the side by my brother. " Damien!" I frowned as I landed in the wall.
" Should have been faster, init." he replied with a little smug smarmy smile. I tutted, I always got complained at for something. Venturing downstairs I smiled up my mum, who managed a little faint smile I looked to my once beautiful mum. She was more... How shall we say less beautiful now. I looked to her black eye, her fresh cut lip from that night. I looked down once my dad entered.
" Hello..." I mumbled to my dad, looking up flashing a smile to him.
" what?!" he retorted back to me, a little anger present in his voice.
" She was only being polite.." My mum looked to my dad as she got a smack. I flinched as I made my cereal, nearly dropping the milk, as I heard my dads hard hand slapping my mums delicate face.
" She should know by now I don't want a skank like her talking to me."
My mum looked to him, staying quiet. I stood still, my back to them both, I wanted to say cry but I knew I'd be cursed at.
Half hour later I went back upstairs. The bathroom was finally free. Lookign into the mirror, I sighed to myself. Filling the basin up with some water, I dunked my face in. The water going a scarlet red. Yep you guessed it, my dad had lashed out at me, all because I said I didn't want to go to school. I got ready for school, walking downstairs, ignoring my dad saying good bye to my mum though. I walked out on my own as usual as Damien and Carmina had left me already. Walking into school grounds I got picked on straight away. I spent half my time in the toilets. I usually hid in there to stay away from everyone.
Lunch time arrived I finally departed from the toilets, sitting outside underneath a tree which I'd christened my tree. I stared for a while before I got my sketch book out as i started to draw my mum. I was going to give it her when I got in. It took me all lunchtime to do and most of my pe lesson. One thing about pe I got out of it at the moment as I was pregnant. I didn't like the subject anyway I got out of dance as well. Thank god. I hated the skimpy little slaggy leotards. Contrary to what you're probably thinking I didn't mess around like everyone else did. I did do work from other lesson as I'd missed them for various different reasons. Obviously I hated school, I did like science and English though. Possibly art as well if I could do what I wanted. I didn't have friends I never had done. I was just a punch bag for words and fists and feet, literally.
I fell asleep on my last lesson, I can't even remember the lesson it was that boring. I ended up being told off but got let on of a detention. I walked home. Walking on the front door once there.
Walking in the door, everything was eerily quiet. The kettle clicked as it cooled down someone was obviously in. Looking round I kicked my school shows off, hooking my bag over the banister. Walking upstairs my mum wasn't up there; she'd usually be cleaning. I walked back downstairs and into the living room.
" Mam!" I ran over to my mum laying on the floor. I knelt down beside her as she looked round to my dad sat on the sofa. I looked at his posture, he'd been on the cannabis again! I helped my mum up waking her into the kitchen. She sat down on her stool at the breakfast bar. I grabbed a towel to start cleaning her up. She pushed my hand away shaking her head.
"Don't bother."
" Why not?" I asked with a little frown as I stood there, towel still in hand.
" He wants me dead.. So that's what he's getting."
I looked to her as I stood there. I gulped back the lump in my throat.
" Why does he want you dead..." I asked confused. She made me sit down.
" I'm sorry I have to tell you this baby... But he wanted you dead. But I said I'd die for you. Your children are meant to live on. Not die before you." She spoke softly to make it hurt less. I sat there, gob smacked. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.
" Trinita!"
" Coming…" My mum called back to my dad. I looked down as I swallowed. I stood up slowly, putting the towel down on the counter. I got my bag of the banister before walking upstairs. Car and Damo arrived home shortly after. As usual I was upstairs on my own. I could hear everyone laughing. I could smell dinner they were all eating. I wasn't allowed any, so I snacked on some crisps. Having my shower I got into bed afterwards.
Next day arrived. School was boring as usual something's never changed. Rest of the week was shit as usual. Everyday I came in my mum was on the living room floor laying there. My heart was slowly breaking.
Week later I walked out of my room. I'd not been in two minutes and already shoved upstairs. I wandered across the landing to my parents room. I knocked on the door, opening it a jar. I looked in. My mum looked across, I smiled to her. I walked in slowly perching myself on the edge of the bed. My dad was hurting my mum so much she was getting weaker everyday. She looked to me forcing a smile on her lips.
I didn't speak.
I don't think I needed to. My facial expression was saying what I was thinking. My mum held the duvet up. I snuggled up to her, burying my face into her chest softly. Her sweet, musky smell filling my nostrils. An hour later we both heard stomping up the stairs. The door swung open.
"What is she doing in here?!" Dad stood over us, his hands in fists.
" Leave her Cardo.." My mum said quietly, her arms softly round me.
" She ain't staying in here!" he bellowed as he threw the covers off me, grabbing my night dress yanking me onto the floor. I landed with a thud. Closing my eyes I bit my lips together.
" RICARDO!" My mum shouted at my dad as she looked to him then to me. She held her hand out to me, I went to take it a my dad kicked me. I cowered away as I sat up slowly on the floor
" She's fine aren't you sket?"
I nodded slowly as I mumbled. " Yes..." I wasn't. I looked to him before looking away again.
"Go now." My dads voice rattled through my ears. I started to crawl of into my room. I collapsed on my mattress, curling up on it cuddling my teddy my mum gave me when I was 2. I closed my eyes as I heard everyone talking. Not even my mum came in to see how I was.
A few days passed and my mum was getting weaker. I dreaded walking in the door from school. Then one day... It happened.
The TV wasn't on for once. I could sense something was wrong. The baby kicked. I rubbed the bump a little. I walked into the living room door. I dropped my bag, the contents all spilling out.
" Mammy!" I ran over to her, her eyes flickering open to me as he held her hand open to me. Clambering on the floor I pulled her up a little. Her head resting on her chest before moving it into my mine. I strokes her hair softly.
"You're going to me fine mam.." We both knew she wasn't going to be. I rummaged for my phone. She took it out of my hand as she shook her head softly.
" Noo..." She whispered slowly and softly. Coughing all blood over my white school shirt. She rested her hand on my bump the other on my face she wiped tears away. Which were starting to fall.
" You can't leave me.. What about your granddaughter.."
" I'll see her from up there.." My mum meant heaven. It wasn't the same obviously.
The baby moved as it kicked it's grandmothers hand. I just looked to her nodding softly.
" You will be fine my ikkle Comfel.." my mums eyes looked into mine. I smiled a little hearing her using my nickname.
" No it won't.. You know that I can't look after a baby. You were going I show me how.." I frowned sadly to her. She smiled as stroked my bump.
" I'll be showing you and guiding you..." My mum stuttered as she started coughing. " I'll be in here.." She put her hand on my chest over my heart. I looked to her as I cradled her, like she was my baby. I looked to see my dad, just sat there, watching us both. Damien and Carmina walked in from school standing there at the living room door.
My mum looked to them all " I love you all don't forget..." They smiled to her. She looked to me as I looked to her.
" and I love you and this little one. I'll always be here. Don't forget to make sit the milk isn't too hot.. Else it'll bu..." her voice tailed off. I licked my lips as I wiped her tears away as one of mine landed on her cheek.
" Is she... Has she... Gone.." Carmina looked to me as she stood there.
I looked up to her nodding softly. She ran off upstairs, sobbing.
My brother slid down the the door frame, his head in his dad rang the people to collect my mum. He knelt down beside us both.
Kissing her softly before walking off outside standing outside the door. I buried my face in her hair intill she was prized away from me.
That was the last day I saw my mum. I think I cried all my tears out and started crying snot at the funeral.
I was given the job of clearing her stuff out. I kept nearly all of it. I gave some to Carmina as she wanted some. I kept her pillow as well bought my dad another one. I was under age, very under age. But I got a tattoo with her birthday underneath a barcode on my neck. No one would see it as I always had my hair down.
Every time I needed her help, I put my hand over it. It soothed me. And helped me.