Disclaimer: Yeah, I know my disclaimers are crappy and lame, so readers probably wouldn't bother to read them. So I'll cut the crap and get straight to the point – I do not and will not ever own Get Backers. How many times do I have tell you readers that? And why do authors have to include disclaimers in every fic? Aren't readers smart enough to know that Yuuya Aoki and Rando Ayamine wouldn't write fanfiction of their own anime 'cause they can actually make their silly/crazy/random/weird ideas come to life? And… -gets hit by black needles-
Autumn Snow: Yay, another pointless-plotless fic! Hurrah. The idea for this fic came to me the other night, with my sister nagging me and asking questions about April Fools Day. So, viola, another weird Ban/Kazu fic. Hopefully your brain cells wouldn't die after you guys read this. X.x Oh, and leave a review please – I'll truly appreciate it.
(BanKazuki) Ban decides to have a little fun with Kazuki – using Japan's ever-so-famous snack, the almighty pocky.
April Fools
By: Autumn Snow
"Damn!"
Audible flows of colorful swear words could be heard from inside the seemingly peaceful café known as the Honky Tonk. The outburst was rather shattering, though the customers and bystanders nearby had gotten used to it after hearing the same words over and over again for the past hour. Only the random passing people going off to work or God-knows-where jumped every time another series of cuss words would erupt from quaint little café. Disturbingly, the source of the random outbursts was still unaware of the disturbance he was causing to the perfectly sunny, lovely Monday morning.
"Ban, if you don't stop that, I'll be forced to kick you out."
The reply was another vivid string of insults.
Paul Wan, renowned owner of said café, sighed, glaring momentarily at his irritating customer before returning to his favorite hobby, newspaper-reading. Paul had come to learn through years of unforgettable experience that no amount of threatening could force Ban Midou to stop whatever he was doing. And that no matter what you do, whatever amount of force you use, you cannot kick Ban Midou out of Honky Tonk. How much more if you're trying to kick out an annoyed one?
Glaring over the top of his newspaper, he signaled to his reliable waitress to take care of things. She nodded in reply, and approached Ban warily.
"Ban…" Natsumi started.
But Ban didn't acknowledge Natsumi; instead, he pointed to his right, showing to her what happened to the last person who dared confront him about his mood that morning. Head first, opposite to the counter, was a squirming Tare Ginji plastered on the wall. The spiky haired Raitei had been trying for the past thirty minutes to ask Ban what was bothering him that morning, but to no avail. Ban wouldn't glance at him, much less talk to him, and every time Ginji got too close, Ban's hand would clutch his inflated chibi head and throw him a good thirty meters away from him. Said process was repeated for about a million times, with Ban muttering curses heavily, and in the course creating Ginji-like embossed designs on the walls of the Honky Tonk. Ban found this routine amusing, though.
When he was thrown for about the hundredth time, Ginji finally gave up and contented him self with hanging parallel to the floor, his head stuck on the almost dilapidated walls of the café.
Clearly, the Jagan Master woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Natsumi sighed; she approached squirming Tare Ginji and plucked him off the wall. She then proceeded to gently untangle the blonde's hair from the cracks on the cement. When Ginji was finally free, he clung on Natsumi's head with a teary-eyed expression on his face.
"Here, I'll make you a glass of iced tea," Natsumi smiled, and went back behind the counter, seating Ginji as far away from Ban. Throwing a reprimanding look at Ban's direction ('How could you be so mean!'), she proceeded to make the drink she promised to the bruised Raitei.
Ban observed all this in a manner a lion would observe his prey.
Ban, for his part, felt a bit guilty. Well, just a tinge. He knew it was extremely unlike him to throw his partner around without stating the reason for his unusual behavior first. And he knew as well that Paul would charge him later for the property damage they had caused when he cooled down a bit. But he was still irritated, so those things could wait until later.
Ban also knew, deep down, that he was acting quite childishly. The real reason for his annoyance was really shallow, but he preferred to 'get to the root of it all': April just kicked in the other day, and much to his surprise, everyone seemed to take on the 'happy-April-fools-day' cheer. He was not amused; he probably would have been, not if everyone chose to play their jokes on him. On any normal day, he would just laugh if off or get his revenge, but it seemed like everyone was determined to get back at him during this time of the year. So the frustrations added up, making him annoyed each day. First was Haruki, Shido and Himiko - even Hevn. But he let them off, thinking it would be a waste of his time to get revenge on them.
But then, there was Ginji.
Now, Ginji could've been spared from that morning's 'exercise', if only he knew that he chose the wrong day to upset Ban's everyday routine. Bad move for Ginji - very bad move. The moment Ban woke up, he knew something was wrong – or will be wrong. Still, he went about his daily morning tasks: breakfast first, shower, toothbrush and then off to the Honky Tonk to do their daily trade. When he and Ginji had gotten inside the Lady Bug, and was driving on the busy streets of Tokyo, he fished his pockets for his usual pack of cigarettes – only to discover that his regular white packet of nicotine was replaced by, to his horror, a box of strawberry pocky.
Ban muttered his first swear word for the day.
And it was… oh yes, you've guessed it.
"Damn!"
He turned to Ginji, an accusing look written all over his face. No words were needed to let Ginji know what Ban had in mind.
No; it wasn't anything dirty, mind you.
Instead, the now angry Ban said, the accusing look still on his face, "Ginji, did you…?"
For a moment, Ban thought he heard a buzzing of a swarming army of bees; but it took him only a split second to realize that it was actually Ginji talking very, very rapidly. However, he could still make out some of the words, and it sounded something like:
"Uh… well – Ban – see? World smoke… pollution? Car… cigarette… smoke. We… help… save… earth! Pocky… good!"
Ban held a hand up, signaling Ginji to slow down.
This gesture calmed Ginji a bit, and he started talking more coherently.
"Well, Ban-chan, I read in some article some days ago that smoking contributes to world pollution. Not only smoking, but cars as well. So, see, world pollution destroys the Ozone layer, and once it's completely destroyed – we're fried chicken."
Ban threw Ginji a questioning look, "Since when did you concern yourself with the nature problems?"
Ginji smiled a sheepish smile.
"And where do the pocky sticks come into play?"
"Well… if you'd stick to pocky stick and not cigarette sticks, then we're helping reduce the world pollution!"
Ban placed a hand on his partner's head and proceeded to pat him. He smiled, and then asked.
"So… what did you do to my cigarettes?"
Ginji's grin grew wider.
"I sold them in exchange of the pocky sticks!"
The rest of the morning didn't go well after that incident.
Once they arrived at the Honky Tonk, their discussions grew heated. Pollution vs. Nature. Cigarette Sticks vs. Pocky Sticks. Lung Cancer vs. Diabetes.
Finally, through clenched teeth, Ban asked, "Don't you realize that a man eating pink, strawberry pocky sticks in public is like hanging a sign on his neck saying 'I am a wuss'!"
Ginji shook his head, and pointed to a nearby poster plastered on the wall. "What about him? He loves pocky, but it doesn't mean he's a wuss. Girls like him as well!"
Ban turned to study the poster. It was actually an ad of a pocky brand, and a pink-haired guy along with two of his friends was endorsing it. He was nibbling on a strawberry pocky stick, while the two others were nibbling on chocolate ones. The text on it said "Bad Luck loves Pocky!" Ban suddenly realized the endorsers were a rock group currently popular with Japanese teenage girls and women. Tsk. Women. He'll never understand them.
"See?" Ginji added.
At that point, the throw-Ginji-around fest began.
All those things happened an hour ago, and now, with Ginji out of his reach and cigarette-less, Ban just stared at his half-empty (or half-full, if you're an optimist) cup of coffee which Natsumi had given him earlier. The bubbly waitress served it to him while he and Ginji were arguing, saying that it should help him 'cool down'. Ban then wondered how a cup of piping hot coffee would help him cool down. Nevertheless, he appreciated the gesture. So he stared at cup hard, as if determined to burn a hole in it, mentally debating if he should just consume the pocky or not. Finally, with a sigh, and out of utter boredom, he reached for his pockets to acquire the box of strawberry pocky that had been the cause earlier of his and Ginji's debate.
Opening the pack, he glanced at Ginji's direction, momentarily catching a glimpse of what seemed to be a triumphant smile stretching all over his chibi-fied head. Ban just smirked, and pretended he didn't see the Raitei's happy change of mood. At least, he wouldn't have much trouble apologizing to Ginji later.
Just as he popped a stick into his mouth, placing it on his lips as he would to a cigarette, the bell on the door of the Honky Tonk tinkled, signaling the arrival of a new customer.
Natsumi's cheerful voice greeted the new comer. "Good morning, welcome to Honky Tonk!"
"Good morning, Natsumi-san."
"Ah, your usual, I suppose?"
"Yes, thank you."
Ban need not raise his head to look up or identify the new comer. He knew it by voice, and by the gentle tinkling of bells. He smirked, and continued examining his pack of pocky.
Kazuki then looked around, searching for a place to seat. He spotted Ginji at the far end of the counter and started to approach him.
"Ginji-kun, good morning. Can I…?" He gestured at the empty seat next to Ginji.
Ginji nodded with a smile, greeting Kazuki as well.
At that point, Kazuki finally began to notice that something was wrong. First off was the absence of Ban's usual insults ("Not with your boyfriend today, Kazu-chan?"); and then there was this unusual gap between the invincible duo; lastly, Ban was on pocky sticks, and that was definitely saying something.
Kazuki realized that he must've been staring at Ban far too long, with a quizzical look on his face, because Ban suddenly said, "If you want some pocky sticks, Yarn ball, you can just come over and ask me. It'll work better than staring, really."
Kazuki blushed a bit, and he turned away, saying, "I was just glad you're consuming something besides cigarettes." Raising the cup of coffee Natsumi served, he then took a sip.
Ban raised an eyebrow, taking his gaze away from his cup and resting it on Kazuki, "Since when did you concern yourself with my health, itomaki?" And at that moment, a wonderful idea sparked in Ban's mind. He could almost feel his annoyance melt away at the prospect of his new idea. If he couldn't take his revenge on Haruki or the others, then maybe…
Kazuki didn't even glance at Ban. "Oh, I wasn't worried about you. I was concerned about the environment and the others."
Ban then scooted over and took the empty seat beside Kazuki. It really was hard throwing snide remarks at each another when you're at least three feet away from the person you're speaking to. And, besides, they were already catching the attention of the rest of customers. No point in ruining Honky Tonk's reputation. As Ban sat down, Ginji turned Tare once more and clung to Natsumi's head. Finding nothing else to do, and wanting Ginji to stay away from Ban as much as possible, Natsumi decided that both of them could seek solace in the kitchen, leaving Ban and Kazuki alone.
Kazuki didn't look up, and continued sipping his coffee.
Ban was absent-mindedly playing with the pocky stick he was currently nibbling.
"So." Ban started.
"So?"
"You still want some?" Ban offered, casually inching the box closer to Kazuki.
"No, but thanks anyway."
And just as Kazuki put his cup down, Ban seized that chance to strangle Kazuki, pushing him up to a nearby wall, inserting a pocky stick between Kazuki's lips. There was a silent commotion as a coffee cup rolled on the table. Ban could feel the other customers' eyes on him, but he didn't care. He mentally reviewed his plan conjured up just about five minutes earlier.
"Ban-kun… what the…"
"Ginji told me once that you actually like pocky sticks." Ban said, a smug grin on his face. He bit the other end of the stick gently, a few centimeters away from Kazuki's face.
Kazuki tried to escape from Ban's grasp, but his wrists were tightly locked in his fists. And since Ban's body was pressed against his really hard, it rendered him powerless. He felt a bit helpless, crushed against the cement wall of the Honky Tonk, which, he noticed in a fleeting glance, had some kind of weird Ginji-ish designs. He focused his mind away from the strange decorations and found himself lost in Ban's gaze. Expressive chocolate eyes met intense blue-violet ones, and he found it hard to break this sudden connection they formed.
Ban inched closer. And closer still.
And Kazuki redefined the phrase 'red as a tomato'.
Finally, with only one centimeter of space between them, and just when Kazuki thought their lips would meet, when they were almost there, Ban bit the slender piece of pocky stick off.
The stick broke neatly in two, the shorter piece stuck between Kazuki's lips and the longer one being chewed by Ban. But still, he didn't move away. Neither one broke his gaze.
With an obnoxious grin, Ban whispered, rather seductively, against Kazuki's right ear:
"Happy April Fools Day, itomaki."
Ban then moved away, and observed as Kazuki's blush deepen while trying to think about what he should do with Ban. The Jagan Master watched, waited for a reaction, all the while laughing, a satisfied feeling settling in him. Finally, he got his revenge, except that he had done it to the most unlikely person he knew.
Kazuki finally stopped blushing, and there was an almost cool look on his face as if nothing had happened, much to Ban's surprise. He stopped laughing at that point, and just contented himself with staring at Kazuki. In the hebi-yaro's head, thoughts were racing rapidly. I almost kissed him! This is… impossible. He was almost beginning to admire Kazuki's patience when…
In a flash, Kazuki's right hand went up Ban's chin, his other hand grabbing Ban's left hand. Kazuki's thumb and forefinger fastened themselves on Ban's chin. With a determined look, Kazuki kissed Ban fully on the lips.
But it lasted for only a split second, something like a kiss fluttering on his lips accidentally. It left Ban wanting for more – aching for more, and he was about to kiss Kazuki back when the String Master untangled himself from Ban, whispering, an almost evil smile playing on his elegant lips:
"Same to you, Ban-kun."
He then walked away, not bothering to finish his cup of coffee, and left his payment at the counter. The customers began to cheer and hoot, some were even whistling. But they were all silenced when the door of the Honky Tonk closed with a slight tinkling of bells, this time though, signaling the departure of a hopefully satisfied customer.
Ban stayed rooted at the same spot where Kazuki left him, and stared back at the door before deciding that April was, indeed, an unlucky month for him. He then returned to his usual place and bit on another piece of pocky.
Fin.
Autumn Snow: Yay. Finally finished this fic. So? Weird right? And not to mention extremely random. –insert sweatdrop- Tell me your thoughts – send a review. Death threats / violent reactions / comments / suggestions can be sent to me through the review feature as well. Oh yeah… thank you to my demented 9-year-old sister slash whiny beta reader… you helped a lot, I think. So, yeah, leave a review, okay? Thank you! Thank you, too, to those who reviewed my first Ban/Kazu fic, Winter Warmth. Much luff to those people. n.n