Sam loved the feeling of a soft summer breeze on her skin. She loved the bitter smell of rain. She loved the soft illuminating glow of fresh snow sleeping on the ground. And even more than all of this, she loved the way Jack O'Neill looked at her. Something other than a professional romance was forbidden between them, but they had small sparks every once in a way that they couldn't simply put out.
So they would sit and hold each other from the sun's fall until the sun's awakening. It was a small secret they kept to themselves. They knew where the line was drawn and they didn't dare cross it. They simply sat and talked and slept and drank coffee.
She found out Jack wasn't a huge fan of coffee.
She didn't call him "Colonel O'Neill" when it was just the two of them. It was too formal and as much as she felt comfortable saying it, he was her superior after all, he insisted that while alone, all formalities were gone. They were just best friends and not coworkers.
He liked to point out the stars and tell her which ones they've been to and which ones they haven't. He liked to name them silly names to make her laugh and then he'd tell her that they weren't nearly as radiant as she. She'd grin widely and he'd grin back, his smile broad and lopsided.
His eyes were a deep chocolate brown and they twinkled as he laughed. The only time he let himself show his true emotions was when they were alone. The first time she saw him cry, she cried to. He let his eyes soften as she told him about her mother and she saw his eyes grow angry as she told him about her abusive relationship with Jonas.
And during all these times, she fell even more in love with him.
She didn't know that it was even possible, but she did. Her heart beat in tune with his. His touch was electricity on her skin. His breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine. His voice, his very presence, gave her stomach butterflies.
She loved him and she wasn't supposed to.
He took her breath away.
He always occupied her thoughts.
He haunted her dreams.
And when she saw Kerri in his office, her heart melted. It broke into a tiny million little pieces. Her skin felt clammy and she felt sick. It shouldn't have impacted her this hard but it had.
And when she saw Kerri in his office, she knew those amazing nights were over.
Everything they had shared had been reduced to nothing. Any hope of a possible future together had been crushed.
Maybe she shouldn't have fallen so hard.
But the one thing that hurt her the most was the plain and blatant disregard for her feelings. He didn't even talk to her about it.
She missed him a lot. His smiles, joke, arms. Sure, she could still see him at work. But it wouldn't be the same. She missed him and their personal time.
But the one thing she missed the most was his eyes.