Back to the Basics

Nana valued honesty more than anything. She hated it when people acted sneaky and lied about things behind her back. Which is why she was still mad at Ren, even after death. Sure, he didn't actually lie to her because she never asked if he was off somewhere getting high. But, he was still mostly at fault for never telling her anything about it. They were supposed to tell each other everything. Right?

But then that would mean that she wasn't being honest, either. She never told him about her going off to seek comfort from Yasu at her lowest points. She kept telling herself it's cause he wouldn't have cared or he never asked, (hypocrisy is a bitch, isn't it?) but, deep down, she knew it was because he would've gotten jealous.

I wonder what he's doing now, Nana thought idly to herself, the sea breeze billowing her long, bleached hair away from her face. She smirked at the thought. Heh, he's probably still bald. Her smirk quickly faded. And he's probably still with that Miu chick, too.

Nana vaguely remembered Miu; she had only met the girl a handful of times and didn't talk with her all that much. From the small instances she spoke and saw her, Nana recalled that she also had her own personal demons. Nana released a deep, long sigh worth six whole years of pent-up stress, brushing her bangs back from her face. I hope she's doing okay and doesn't worry Yasu. God knows how busy he is worrying about people. This briefly provoked another serious thought.

I wonder if he worries about me… Has he thought about me at all these past six years? Nana managed to set free a small chuckle. Of course he's thought about me. He's Yasu for Christ's sake. He worries about everyone. Even little old me, the girl he couldn't have because of his devotion for Ren. But, it has been six years since I last saw him. He probably got over me by now. Yet, I wonder if he still thinks about me… Is he thinking about me now, at this very moment?

Thinking about her old life always made Nana confused and guilty. Confused for feelings that always managed to bubble up to the surface, guilty for things she should have done instead of running away, things she should have cleared up… But, now, it was too late. Nana made up her mind a few weeks after Ren's death to leave for good; she went to a library (no way was she gonna lay her hands on Ren's laptop), looked up places with cold weather and nearby beaches, packed her things, and bought herself a ticket to England. She always did things for a reason with no regrets. No way was she gonna be all mopey and sulk about her decision now that it was over and done with. Which meant that there was no way she was ever going back.

Besides, one can't just appear out of nowhere after going AWOL for six freakin' years. It wouldn't be fair to them if she just waltzed into their lives, expecting things to go back to the way they were meant to be. She would probably make things all complicated and weird. In her eyes, if they had managed to live six years without her presence, they wouldn't need her for many more to come.

No, that's not why you don't wanna go. You don't want to see them again 'cause you're scared. You're scared that they managed to live happy, productive lives with their loved ones and here you are, sitting on some beach, thinking about how much life sucks without them. You're scared that you'll realize that they don't need you. That, in the end, you need them. It's completely, undoubtedly cruel and selfish, but it's true.

And most of all, you're scared that Hachi was capable of being happy. Without you. And with Takumi, nonetheless.

Nana closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, ignoring her straightforward thoughts and focusing on the lulling sound of waves crashing against the shore and her surroundings. The sea salt mixed with the stinging, brisk air and burned its way into her lungs with every sharp intake of breath. The sea gulls sang their bleak songs as they flew overhead. In the distance, she could hear a mother playing with her children, their ecstatic giggles filling the air. She opened her eyes to take it all in.

The mother with the kids looked to be about Nana's age. Her kids seemed to be six and three years old, respectively. Nana sighed. The first one is probably Hachi's kid's age. With that, Nana wrenched her eyes from the happy family and started her vigorous walk home, her hands wiping away the tears that wanted to desperately make their presence known.

*******N A N A*******

"Thank you everyone. Enjoy your night," Nana bade a farewell to everyone, signaling an end to her performance. Since it was a fancy restaurant, the audiences gave a light, polite applause, something she still wasn't accustomed to even after performing at the place for quite some time. She still missed her loud, rambunctious audience that would stomp, scream, yell, and always gave a thunderous applause at her gigs.

Nana made her way backstage to the small little area she called her's when she was given her job. It was nothing more than a tidy, little corner that should've had a vanity with lots of makeup, but held nothing more than a cramped desk and a wooden stool where she placed her bag. Even her bag was practically empty, holding chapstick, two different shades of red lipstick, some dwindling mascara, old eyeshadow that she could only wear outside of work (too dramatic), some money, her old lighter, and a pack of Black Stone Cherry cigarettes. It wasn't like she needed a lot.

Nana stopped dead in her tracks, however, when she noticed the sight in front of her.

Hachi sat on the stool, clutching Nana's purse, trying to keep her tears from falling. This proved futile once she made eye contact with Nana.

"Oh, Nana!" Hachi jumped up from the stool, resulting in her purse and belongings to go flying in all directions. She swiftly wrapped her arms around the shocked bottle-blonde in a bone-crunching hug.

"H-Hachi," Nana heard herself saying through the pounding in her ears. She returned the hug, holding on for dear life in fear of losing the petite brunette again. "This- this can't be real…"

She closed her eyes, tears rushing down her face, relishing the feel of the girl she longed to hold in her arms once again after a six-year absence. It's been way too long. She still smelled like strawberry shampoo and wild flowers. Her hair was still as soft as a puppy's, her skin as soft as mochi. Hachi, despite the small changes in her appearance, was still Hachi. And that made Nana extremely happy.

Nana opened her eyes upon releasing Hachi to take a good look at her. Her hair was longer and she had aged a bit (with a kid to raise, along with Takumi for a husband, who wouldn't?), giving her a more mature look, but, for the most part, she still looked like the naive girl she had met on the train six years ago.

"Nana, I-I missed you so much!" Hachi hiccuped from her loud crying. "It took us forever to find you, but we did it!" Hachi reached out to cup her face. "But… why'd you leave, Nana?"

Nana couldn't bring herself to tell her why. "I-I don't know… Everything was just… too much to handle." Sometimes, she thought she knew why she ran away, but other times, it seemed like she had no reason to go and she would forget why she left in the first place.

She looked behind Hachi, unable to meet her curious eyes, to see no other than the man who used to be one of the only people she could truly seek comfort in, lighting his trademark Black Stone Cherry cigarette.

"It's nice to see you, Nana," he said, as if they were meeting up for a weekly get-together. He took a long drag and, without the prevention of his sunglasses, looked her right in the eye. "I missed you."

Nana immediately lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his strong waist, knocking him back a couple feet. She could vaguely hear him stomping out the cigarette she could only guess she accidentally knocked from his hand.

He encased his arms around her and settled them on the small of her back. "Well, aren't you glad to see me," he chuckled, rubbing small, gentle circles across her back.

"Shut up, baldy," Nana cried into his chest, clutching tighter onto his black suit.

If it weren't for the quiet atmosphere of the elegant restaurant, he would've almost missed when Nana said, "I missed you, too."

A/N: This took me about three hours to write. Is that a good thing? Anyways, I haven't read the manga in over FOUR YEARS, so if I fuck up with info, please let me know, and I will try to change it. If that doesn't happen, just roll with it, for the sake of the story. This is kinda AU-ish anyways, so.

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Oh, and if you get the title reference, you earned yourself a digital cookie (hint: Lana Del Rey unreleased)!