AN: A little side fic to hopefully push me out of the writer's block I'm getting with TVMF. It's something I haven't really done before in terms of style - I've always done heaps of Sakura Akatsuki Itachi stuff but this is my first forage into the humour AU category with them. Hope you all enjoy nonetheless xx
CUPCAKES AND HEARTBREAKS
Pink and Green with a Cherry on Top
"You're crazy."
Sakura shrugs, twirling a strand of pink hair around her finger. "I think I can manage."
Ino eyes her skeptically, gaze moving from Sakura, in her pretty white sundress, to her pink room full of stuffed animals and cute little cookbooks, and back to Sakura.
"You're crazy," Ino repeats, enunciating her words slowly the way people do when they're talking to crazy people.
Sakura stops twirling her hair and the lock falls back down into its place, framing her face.
"I so can," she states defensively. And she so can. So what if she's only seventeen, and the only thing apart from school she's ever done is ballet – and ballet is hard thank you very much – Sakura has always been a determined little girl and what Sakura wants, Sakura gets.
Proof number 1: back in the days when she and Ino had been fighting over Sasuke, who had even as a five year old been the most adorable little thing, Sakura had seemed like the sure loser. Oh no. Sakura, despite her angelic facade, was bloody determined and she had claws, and her persistence had ultimately won over Ino's.
Proof number 2: When Sakura was twelve she had had enough of Naruto and Sasuke's violent antics and decided to become a doctor. A mere three years later she had managed to get the actual Senju Tsunade – that's right, yep, that Tsunade, the famous sannin – to take her up as an apprentice. Well, she called it an apprenticeship. Tsunade preferred to refer to her as 'the brat who shadows me around the hospital'.
Proof number 3: Well, proof number 3 was coming along. In fact, this was going to be proof number three.
Perhaps Ino sees the determination in her eyes because she relents, leaning back against Sakura's fluffy down pillows. Sakura smiles triumphantly but Ino raises a hand before she can say anything.
"Alright," she sighs, "So let me get this straight. You – Haruno Sakura, Miss 'I like to bake cookies and wear pretty dresses' is going to approach Akatsuki- am I getting this right so far Sakura? – Akatsuki – as in the crazy gang Sasuke's crazy but totally hot older brother hangs out with-"
"Yes that Akatsuki," Sakura bristles primly. "I doubt there're any others."
Ino rolls her eyes, swatting Sakura on the arm. And though Ino looks like a defenseless daddy's girl with manicured nails those nails are sharp and Sakura can feel the sting of the scratch.
"Ino!" she scolds.
"Point remains though," Ino continues, blatantly ignoring her, "You're going to approach a group of likely criminals – criminals Sakura! – and ask them to, and this is a direct quote from you Miss Pink, 'teach you how to be badass'."
"Yep," Sakura grins, choosing to ignore Ino's jibe, "And I'm gonna do it right now."
"Hold up," Ino says flatly, grabbing Sakura's arm again and wrenching her back onto the bed before she can go anywhere. "There are so many things wrong with what you just said. Give me a moment 'kay?"
Sakura sighs. Ino's always had a flair for the dramatic, especially in regards to Sasuke's older brother's… interesting life choices. The Uchiha are well renowned for implementing one of the best police systems in Konoha's history, with Sasuke's own father being Commissioner, but, well, as for his heir and the supposed 'golden prodigy'…
Well, Ino was kinda right she had to admit. Uchiha Itachi had landed on the wrong side of the tracks.
But hey, on the other hand, Ino is kinda biased. Her father works high up in government, and with Ino determined to take his spot, she sees practically everyone as a criminal in some form or another. Considering how her best friend may be prone to exaggeration, Akatsuki can't be that bad, right?
"Look," Ino sighs heavily, looking as if she's lost all hope in Sakura, "How are you going to go about doing this Sakura?"
Sakura smiles excitedly. Now, she had a plan, and she was quite proud of it too. It wasn't very badassery at the moment, but she's sure that with Akatsuki's help she'll very soon remedy that.
"Well, I wrote a letter to Auntie Honoka just last week – you know how she is with technology – and she replied just yesterday which, well, inspired this whole thing. She's got the greatest cupcake recipe, and when we were being kids – you know how Naruto would never shut up? – well, when she gave him one of her cupcakes it was like a miracle 'cause he would just do anything she asked – including shut up! – like one time when he-"
"Stop," Ino says quickly, raising a hand and cutting Sakura off before she sighs heavily again. "Am I to assume from all of… that… that you are planning to bribe Akatsuki with… cupcakes?"
"Not just any cupcakes," Sakura sighs, rolling her eyes. Ino doesn't get it, does she? "They're Auntie Honoka's cupcakes. You know with the little pistachios in the mix and the cherry on top of the icing? And it isn't bribing. God. I wouldn't stoop that low. I'm just… sweetening 'em up a bit."
Ino stares at her for a second before exhaling slowly.
"Sakura," she says seriously, "I'm going to, as your best friend, advise you very strongly not to do this. Remember – Akatsuki – criminals – with Uchiha Itachi – therefore – connections with the police force – therefore – if you're in trouble – you're in trouble."
Ino eyes her heavily. Sakura forces herself not to avert her gaze.
"Okay," she says quickly. "I won't do it."
Ino eyes her suspiciously and Sakura fights to keep a straight face. Finally, Ino relents. "Have you seen Koshida's new clothes line? She released it last week and oh my god I'm disappointed in her because I thought she was a fashionista but the shirts..."
As Ino continues on about Koshida's new clothes line, inwardly, Sakura cheers.
Her first, blatant lie to her best friend - and she'd gotten away with it. Not bad, huh?
How's that for badass?
Well, it wasn't very badass, but, she'll work on it.
As Sakura walks along the street pavement, cupcakes in a tray in her hands, she starts to regret the pink and green icing. Actually, she starts to regret many things.
First of all, the cupcakes in her tray, lined neatly pink green pink green with the cherries on top, are starting to look like Christmas tree decorations. The pink had turned out way darker than she'd planned and now the cupcakes look completely festive red and green, and when it's still months away from Christmas - well, it seems like highly inappropriate catering.
Secondly, Sakura regrets not changing out of her white sundress. Sure, it makes her look pretty, but what if Akatsuki wants to make her go all badass by skateboarding or something? She knows they hang out at the skate park heaps after all. And it'd probably get all dirty quickly too – and dirt shows up quite clearly on white.
Furthermore, she regrets not making any extra cupcakes for her to taste test – what if they're disgusting? In fact, she could probably write a whole essay on her regrets of today, and it would be a long one too. After all, Sakura is not someone who skirts from her studies – especially not if she's going to become a doctor.
But unfortunately – or fortunately? – there's no time for her to comprehensively address all of her regrets because the skate park looms in front of her, decorated with various graffiti – slogans of all the groups that hang around the park. Akatsuki is there a few times, surrounded by some red clouds, and even The Swordsman makes an appearance – and god, they don't even live here. Does anyone even skate in this park anymore?
And there, just to the side, painted over half an Akatsuki logo, is the word – Hebi.
Well.
Steeling her resolve, Sakura walks through the gates into the skate park. It's a Sunday, and perhaps that's code for 'not a devious day' because the only group present at the moment seems to be Akatsuki, and of it, only four people are there. And even though she knows Akatsuki is exclusive, it's not that exclusive – there are definitely more than four members.
She can see Uchiha Itachi sitting casually – or as casually as an Uchiha can – against one of the ramps. Sitting on top of said ramp is another Akatsuki – this one with bright orange hair and multiple piercings, a cigarette between his lips. In front of them both, standing up and animatedly gesturing, is a blonde – long hair – Deidara, Sakura recalls. Sasuke had always quite hated him. And the last is standing off to the side, silver hair glinting in the sun as he polishes his pocket knife.
They look kinda creepy, but more than that, they look very badass.
Okay, Sakura thinks, I can do this. This is a public place. They can't kill me here. Even Uchiha Itachi's connections wouldn't get them out of such a public murder.
So she marches confidently up to the group, making sure to stare intently at them so they get the message that yes, Haruno Sakura is actually approaching Akatsuki with a tray of cupcakes in her hand.
Uchiha Itachi sees her first, his gaze casually sliding from the enthusiastic Deidara to her. His gaze is strong, but hey – Sakura's known the dude, albeit from a distance, for more than ten years. She's used to it. Totally. Was it like this a few years ago too?
Seemingly sensing his loss of attention, all the other members of Akatsuki turn to stare at her.
Dang. If she'd thought Uchiha Itachi was intense, now there were pretty much four of him staring at her.
She falters in her step a few metres away from them and immediately freezes in horror. She had faltered, destroyed her confident image – does she keep on walking, pretending she never faltered? Or does she stay here and kinda pretend that yep, this is what she planned to do. Totally.
In the moment it takes for her to contemplate, a blush has flamed up – she can feel it creeping up her neck to the tips of the ears. Guess she'll just stand here then.
She stares at Akatsuki and Akatsuki stares at her. Awkward. Then Itachi, seeming to take the initiative considering he knows her best, pushes himself off the floor and begins a steady walk towards her.
Sakura swallows nervously, Ino's words ringing through her mind – trouble. Trouble. Trouble. God she's in so much trouble.
By now Sasuke's crazy (but totally hot) older brother – thanks Ino for putting that in her head – is practically a metre away from her and doesn't look like he's planning to stop. So Sakura does the only thing she can think of.
She raises a hand up to stop him, but then the tray tips precariously and slips off her other hand. The whole thing looks like it's happening in slow motion and Sakura has a rare moment of internal swearing – Aunt Honoka's cupcakes! – but then Itachi's hand shoots out and snatches the tray before it can hit the ground. A few of her cupcakes slide over each other, knocking the cherries down, but overall, they're intact.
Belatedly, Sakura realises that her hand is still in the air so she tries to pass it off as a wave.
"Heey," she says awkwardly. Itachi stares at her measuredly. "Uh… thanks," she adds, nodding towards the cupcakes.
Itachi continues to stare at her.
"They're, uh, for you."
Itachi looks down at the pink and green cupcakes – with cherries on top – and then back up at her. He opens his mouth to respond but suddenly Sakura realises how it must look.
"Oh no wait!" she interrupts quickly. "Not for you – I mean, they are for you – but not like a confession - I mean, you're a nice guy I'm sure but I really don't see you that way - wait. No. What I meant when I said you was you as in," she desperately waves her arms in the direction of the rest of Akatsuki. The guy with the orange hair raises an eyebrow – which is also orange – and Deidara does a weird wave back. Is he mocking her awkward wave or is he just strange? And Sakura knows she's an awkward waver okay he doesn't need to point it out. Better contemplating Deidara than friggin Uchiha Itachi though.
Gosh. This is embarrassing. But Sakura keeps smiling nervously because she's Haruno Sakura and she ain't going down 'cause of some embarrassment. Even if the guy is five years older and the brother of the love of her life.
Even if said guy is still freaking not responding.
Finally, he opens his mouth and says – "You're Haruno Sakura."
Sakura's smile drops.
"You're kidding," she says flatly. "I say all of that, go through all of that to make you all pink and green cupcakes – Auntie Honoka's cupcakes! – to, let me tell you, the disapproval of my best friend, my best friend Uchiha Itachi, and I don't know about you guys but we girls have a sisterhood and we don't go and do things against said sisterhood like lie to your best friend to make cupcakes for Akatsuki and that's all you have to say?"
Silence.
Deidara's jaw is hanging open. The dude with orange hair is watching with rapt fascination, cigarette hanging limply. The other guy is still sharpening his knife. Parents who had taken their little boy to the skate park pull him away back into their car and drive off. Sakura imagines digging a whole to the centre of earth, diving into it, and never resurfacing.
But then, the corner of Uchiha Itachi's lips quirk up into a small smile.
And Sakura realises that she's screwed for two reasons.
Reason 1: She has just broken the Haruno code! Her mother had raised her to be polite, and respectful, and a perfect lady thank you very much and then she goes and says something like that? Raised her voice to an elder?
Reason 2: Uchiha Itachi just smiled. As in the infamous ice cube Uchiha. As in Uchiha flipping Itachi yes that's right that Uchiha.
"I can assure you," Uchiha Itachi finally says, "that we do not have a sisterhood. It is, in fact, more of a brotherhood."
Sakura's eyebrow twitches. She can feel Inner raging inside for the first time in a long time.
"Do you have a problem, Uchiha Itachi?" she asks instead, putting her hands on her hips. Hey, she's already broken the code, there's nothing left of her reputation to save anymore. "Because someone has just taken the time to bake you cupcakes and you should be much more appreciative."
The other corner of his lips quirk up and by now yes Sakura can confirm the ice cube is actually smiling.
"I'm sorry," he apologises smoothly, and Sakura thinks she's about to have a heart attack because the ice cube smiling and apologising in the span of a minute is too much for her to bear. "My mother raised me with better manners and you were quite right to call me out."
This time it's Sakura's jaw that's hanging open. She wishes for the clinical detachment of that Akatsuki who's just sitting in the corner sharpening his knife, completely detached to his surroundings.
"No need to look surprised," Itachi says wryly. "And though I'm sure we've been acquainted before, let me introduce myself properly. My name is Uchiha Itachi."
He holds out one hand, balancing the tray perfectly on his other hand – something that Sakura hadn't managed to do. She scowls and eyes his hand. This is the hand that used to feed Sasuke milk in a bottle and change his diapers and- okay stop. She does not want to go there.
Itachi quirks an eyebrow and Sakura realises that she's left him hanging because his hand is still in the air. Oops.
"Sorry," she says quickly, grasping his hand. "I was just thinking about how you must've changed Sasuke's diapers when he was a kid and stuff and wow you did not need to know that sorry. But yeah, I'm Haruno Sakura. You already knew that."
Itachi eyes her, a strange gleam in his eyes, and again Sakura prides herself on not wilting under his stare.
He shakes her hand with a firm grip, and then he laughs.
And yep, Sakura is definitely having a heart attack. Smiling was okay. She could deal with that. And then apologising? Well, Sakura's made out of tough stuff. But then laughing as well?
Just being with Uchiha Itachi will force her to be badass out of self-preservation, no training needed.
AN: There we go, first chap finished :) It's not going to be a long fic, probably only a few chaps, but we'll see. I was going to make it a oneshot but I didn't think what I'd had planned would all fit. Plus, this way I can explore more stuff, like why Sakura wants to be badass, the AU verse. Hopefully Sakura's not too OOC - I wanted to make her strong but without all the death stuff in canon, I feel like she'd have kept some of her old traits.
Please let me know what you think? Like I said, it's my first time writing in this style and hopefully it worked. Cheers x