This is gonna be real OOC. And incorrect in terminology. In short, it's something of a crack fic…

This is for tumblr user superwholock-potter. I posted the quote from The Last Olympian that this was inspired by: "People don't just appear on the beach unless they're demigods or gods or really, really lost pizza delivery guys. (It's happened—but that's another story.)" And she sad "I WILL READ THIS FIC." So, here you are pretty.

I guess this takes place after they come out of the Labyrinth, but before Percy goes home. I'm gonna make this as short as possible…

Percy and the Pizza Guy

Percy sits on the grassy hill, facing the lake, watching the naiads leap in and out of the water. After a long day of archery training, nagging from Grover, and Annabeth attempting to hold his hand, he's taking a break. Finally. Some quiet.

Then, a whoosh. He turns to his right abruptly to find some college guy in red checkered pants and hat with a pizza on it. He carries a pizza box in one hand. "Whoa, dude…" he spins around slowly, as if he wasn't startled at the sudden teleport. "This is Brooklyn?"

Usually, Percy would be exited at the arrival of pizza, but this is just strange. His mind flies to the possibility of Pizza Guy being a monster, but he looks too cool-with-it to be sinister. Percy stays poised to strike, though.

"Um…hi?" he greets the guy.

"Uh…hello…" Pizza Guy must have done some pretty weird deliveries before, because he turns back to normal guy. "I'm here to deliver a pizza to…Tom Hiddleston?"

"Tom what?" Percy gets closer.

"Percy!" Annabeth comes up from behind. "There's something in your cabin. You need to come, quick!"

"Hold on, Annabeth—" he holds up a hand. He directs his attention back to Pizza Guy, but for long—Chiron approaches from his other side.

"Percy, I need you in my office, right now." He has a stony look on his face, and he says it urgently. Pizza Guy takes a quick double take at the centaur.

"Whoa. Cool." He nods. "Anyway, and Tom Hiddlestons here?"

"PERCY!" Charlie Beckendorf runs down the hill. "I've been looking all day for you. Something about girl problems?"

Percy's face grows at Annabeth's sudden fiery stare. He tries to stammer out something. But Pizza Guy interrupts. "Um, the pizza is getting cold…my ticket says there's a Tom Hiddleston here?"

"No way, Tom Hiddleston is here?" Charlie lights up.

"What is this Tom Hiddlepebble…" Chiron asks.

"Perrrcy!" some Aphrodite girls sneak up. "Hiiii Perrrcy…" they giggle. He groans.

Pizza Guys catches a look of one of the girls, nodding to himself. Then he snaps out of it. "If no one claims this pizza in two minutes, then you don't get the 10-percent-off deal!" Pizza Guy warns. "Just sayin'."

The point of tonight was to chill out, not freak out! Percy sighs. So much for quiet. "Who's behind this?" Percy asks the horde. All that responds are blank faces. Except for the Aphrodite girls, who are trying to poke Percy.

"AH, YES! MY PIZZA IS HERE," Connor Stoll breaks through the crowd, his brother trailing behind, receiving "Hey!" and "Oww!". They grin blazingly.

"You're behind this?" Percy asks them, exasperated.

"Dude, you are not Tom Hiddleston," Charlie frowns.

"Whatever. Take the pizza," He must have not been the average mainstream college guy, because he hands over the pizza to "Tom Hiddleston" with no questions."Thanks for ordering pizza from Peter Johnson's, I guess."

"ARGH!" Percy cries. Are the gods trying to aggravate him? What did I do wrong?

Pizza Guy continues. "Now, how do I get back to 9th street?"

"Erm, I don't know." Charlie shrugs.

"You're on your own, dude," Travis speaks with a mouth full, chomping down on more pizza.

"Are you gonna share that?" Annabeth inquires.

Pizza Guy takes another good look at the Aphrodite girl. Percy isn't sure if it's the same one. He produces a card from his pocket. "Call me," he says to her, winking. She giggles uncontrollably.

"We don't have phones here," Percy ruins the moment. He gestures. "Now, leave."

"Uh…alright," Pizza Guy says. Awkward silence. He nods at the Aphrodite girl and spins around, walking forward and then disappearing with a whish.

Percy turns to the campers and Chiron, their eyes querying. Then they break out into questions all at once.

Percy is defeated. "Gah…"

I don't know what that was.

Review, I guess.