This was inspired by Kitten Sushi, which I highly recommend you to read. It's just hilarious.

Also, I know I really ought to update The Blind and the Unseeing, which I will do as soon as possible, but I chose instead to finish this one-shot I started writing years ago. I hope it's not too bad.

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Damn desert and its fucking heat and its even more fucking sun!

Fat beads of sweat rolled down the murderous pinkette's skin as she ran through Wind Country's desert. Why the Hokage had chosen her, of all people, to deliver a scroll containing an invitation for some Suna members–aka Gaara and his siblings–was beyond her comprehension. She must have been too irked at Naruto's incessant whining that he wanted to see the Kazekage and sent her in retribution. Because everyone knew the knuckle-head ninja was very much attached to her. Yet she would have preferred to have her ears chatted off to having to suffer in the desert.

Blergh…Sand, sand, sand…

And the damn sand was going to crust on her, solidifying after it was glued to her skin with her sweat. She just knew that she would have to peel off a layer of skin after the mission. Or two.

Her eyes rove across the landscape in hopes of finding an oasis or at least a coconut tree.

Wasn't there an oasis around here? Come on, a small miracle…ha!

Yes…She had found it with her eagle eyes. She sped up happily, her eyes roving over the bushes and date trees. The water seemed cool in the shade of the trees. It was perfect. Except for the naked blue man sitting happily in the water. Naked, might she add, forcing her eyes not to rove across his naked form.

She saw him glance at his weapon, which conveniently lay a few feet to his left on the shore, but she made no movement toward her own weapons. Her fingers didn't even inch closer to her weapons pouch. She was just too damn tired and exhausted and damnit all she wanted was to soak in that marvellous water.

Seeing that she had no intention to fight, the blue man relaxed back in the water and observed her less warily, but still somewhat suspiciously. She couldn't blame him. His eyes widened when she began to divest herself of her clothes, dumping them unceremoniously at her feet.

"Kunoichi, what the hell are you doing?!" he exclaimed, his cheeks becoming a rather becoming shade of purple.

She quirked an eyebrow.

"What does it look like I'm doing, duh? I like cool water in the middle of the desert just as much as you and I'm certainly not gonna shy away from it under the pretence that a man is sitting buck naked in it. I've seen more naked men in my career than most people do in their whole life, so shut up and let me enjoy the pond. Or are you embarrassed by your nudity? Or mine?" she added, almost as an afterthought.

His eyes rove for an instant over her figure before returning doggedly to her face.

"Iie. But aren't you acting out of character, kunoichi?"

She stepped in the water happily, sighing in pleasure at the cool touch of the water against her ankles.

"Look, I'm really not in the mood to fight right now, so just pretend you didn't see me and I'll do the same, alright? Now shut up and enjoooooy…"

He looked at the pink-haired young woman. The water was covering a bit more than half of her pale mounds of flesh that floated gently in the cool liquid. Her head was thrown back in pleasure and her eyes were closed, her lips parted in that sinful moan. Despite the cool temperature of the water, his member twitched to life. Then she sank completely in the water for a few moments and re-emerged with a smile of satisfaction. His eyes followed drops of water running down her curves, noting how her pink hair stuck to her skin. And then he found himself mesmerized by her piercing emerald eyes.

She looked him over, noting how his skin stretched over his muscles. His pectorals and abs were very well-defined. Oh, hell. If she was noticing this about a blue man, she must be more in need of a good, hard fuck than she had thought. Maybe she should have taken Genma up on his offer before she left Konoha. At least he would amenable to a tumble in the hay with no strings attached. Though…the man was not exactly trying to kill her and it seemed like her body pleased him. Well, she did have a nice figure, if she may say so herself. Kunoichi usually had because of all the training they had to go through, and her genetics sure did help. Kami, she had to resist the appeal of that buff chest.

But boy did he look comfy and appetizing.

-:-

He could not believe it. The young kunoichi was looking at him like she wanted to eat him. Like he was a delicious meal and she was famished. And Kami, the way she moved! She was practically oozing sex! And–wait. What was she doing?!

She strolled up to him and sat down unceremoniously on his lap; then she looked into his eyes and said, "I'm planning on having you screw me right here and now. Do you have a problem with that?"

He gulped in the hopes of bringing back some moisture in his suddenly dry throat and even dryer mouth and barely managed to utter an "I'm not nuts enough to say no to a proposition like that" before she was ravishing his mouth, pressing their bodies flush and entangling her fingers in his hair, occasionally tugging on it deliciously. When was the last time he had had sex with a woman, never mind without paying? And it was a well-known fact that kunoichi were the best lay one could find.

She attacked his mouth like she was starving and left it only to suck and nip at his throat. Not about to be undone, Kisame began to suck the spot below her ear, eliciting moans of pure pleasure from the young woman. He crushed her to him with strong arms, drowning in her, and groaned when her nails raked down his back. Damn, the kunoichi was good. He could feel his blood pump louder in his ears every time she rubbed her chest on his and he soon looked at her with half-lidded eyes, gaze dark and feral.

"I'm gonna devour you, kunoichi, and you're gonna enjoy every minute of it," he growled low in his throat. She only moaned in response.

Without another word, he plunged two fingers in her tight heat, rolling her clit with the thumb of the same hand, and used his other hand to turn her face up to meet his. Oh yes, he thoroughly enjoyed her darkened eyes and rosy cheeks as he feasted on her mouth.

She panted loudly and reciprocated, her right hand trailing down his buff chest to his straining member. And then it was his turn to gasp as she toyed with him expertly, rubbing him in a fluid back-and-forth motion.

Feeling like he was about to explode, he wrenched her hand away from him, growling, and impaled her in one smooth motion, fingers digging into her buttocks in response to her nails leaving bright marks on his back. He nipped urgently at her throat as she reflexively threw her head back in a moan that reverberated all the way to his groin. Her legs wrapped around his hips as he set up a rhythm that had her gasping and crying out in ecstasy. Encouraged by her reaction, he pumped into her harder and harder, groaning as she carved into his back with her nails, and finally came with a roar as she clenched harder around him in her orgasm.

She slumped into his arms, breathing shallowly against him as he rested his forehead in the crook of her neck. He waited a few moments to get his breath back, then dislodged himself from her body and slowly carried her back to shore, where he sprawled atop his cloak. She lay next to him, boneless, eyes closed and face relaxed.

"What now?" he asked, breathing hard.

"For both of our sakes, I suggest we pretend this never happened. But before leaving, I guess I should clean up once more," she replied calmly.

Rolling onto his back, he nodded slowly.

"Alright," he said, "works for me."

"Good. I really didn't want to fight you in this heat."

He chuckled slowly, agreeing. In this heat, no one would wish to fight if they were sane.

Besides, it was always nicer to make love rather than war.

Before long, they both left on their separate journeys, silently agreeing to a truce for now.

-:-

"I've got to put you out of active duty for now."

Surprised, Sakura gazed at her mentor, words failing her. "...Why? What have I done wrong?"

Tsunade shook her head ruefully. "Look, you're pregnant. I don't know who you slept with, but if you intend to keep the baby, there's no way I can allow you to remain on active duty. Think it over. If you want to keep it, you'll have to work in the hospital for the next few months until the delivery."

Sakura sat down shakily, feeling dizzy. It couldn't be...

Tsunade gazed concernedly at her apprentice. "Sakura-chan? Are you alright?"

"I...I really don't know..."

"Tell me, does the father have any inkling?"

Sakura's head snapped up, eyes widening. "What? Oh, Kami-sama, the father!"

-:-

Kisame nursed a drink, looking at the horizon. From the peak of the mountain where he sat, the view was indeed incredible. He much preferred vast expanses of water, but this wasn't so bad.

As he looked on, his partner materialized before him.

"Hey there. What news have you got from spying on Konoha?" he asked, saluting the younger man with his cup.

"More surprising news than I would have thought. Kisame-san, when did you get so closely acquainted with the Godaime's apprentice?"

Kisame stilled, tensed. His partner's face didn't reflect anything, blank as ever. "What do you mean?"

"The whole village is abuzz, saying that the Haruno girl gave birth to a blue baby. Blue, Kisame-san. Not too subtle, is it?"

Kisame shot to his feet. "What? Is that a joke?"

Itachi leveled a long gaze at him.

"Right, you wouldn't know what joking is if it smacked you in the face."

Itachi turned around, starting the long climb down the mountain.

"Do what you must. This doesn't concern me."

Taking this to mean that he wouldn't interfere either way, Kisame ran down the mountain, yelling over his shoulder, "Thanks! I'll repay you later!"

-:-

Even more abuzz than the village after Sakura's birthing of a blue child, the gates of Konoha were now the theatre of a strange play as a notorious missing-nin simply waltzed up to the gatekeepers and demanded to be let in on the account that his child was in the village.

Given the rather blue skin of the man, there were very little doubts that he was the mysterious father whose name Sakura had refused to divulge.

Sakura herself was taking a nap while her baby boy slept in the next room, sprawled rather unappealingly on her couch when Naruto burst in loudly as he was wont to do, waking her up instantly.

"Come on, Sakura-chan, we have to get you out of here!" he yelled as she shook her head to get rid of the mental cobwebs.

"Naruto..." she growled unhappily, "you have better have a good explanation!"

She cracked her fingers, ready to punch him through the wall if his excuse wasn't good enough, but his next words made all her mental faculties shut down.

"Hoshigaki-san is at the gates, demanding to see you and your baby!"

Oh, hell.

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And that's it! This was always meant to be a stand-alone one-shot, but who knows, maybe I'll write a second part about what happens during their reunion. For the time being, see you, and don't forget to review!