"Clint, don't touch that," Tony warned.
Clint had offered to help Tony out with some of his equipment. He'd gotten bored and started looking around the lab.
"What is this, exactly?" the archer asked, curious.
"It's some prototype armor I'm making. I based it off of some of Hank's designs, from before he went crazy, of course. Hoping the Avengers might use it. It's collapsible, folds up into the suit when not being used, and it's more lightweight than my normal armor."
"Well, I hope you don't expect me to wear it. If you want me wearing your silly armor-excluding the space armor, that's a special case-I'd have to say I'd rather spend the day imitating Wolverine."
"You just said that to bug me."
"You know me so well."
"Well, if you want to make yourself usefull, could you move that tank over to the corner?"
Hawkeye lifted the tank and looked at it oddly. "What is this?"
"Something else I found in Hank's lab. Pheromones he's experimented on."
"Ooooookayyyyy."
Clint began to move the tank, when the Mansion's alarm suddenly went off. Hawkeye, suprised, stumbled backwards into a wall and dropped the tank, shortly after falling over into the contents.
"Ow, ow, Tony what was Hank doing to these pheremones, they're burning my skin, pheremones aren't supposed to do that are they, HELP!"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Clint woke up in the medical area. Wasp was sitting nearby. She noticed he was awake.
"Clint!" she said excitedly. "You're OK! I couldn't stand the thought of you being dead!"
"Dead? I'm kind of wondering if Hank might have been crazier BEFORE becoming Yellowjacket. How do you make pheromones near-fatal?"
Jan laughed. "Good old Clint, still as funny as ever! I would have missed your humor."
Clint raised an eyebrow. Janet van Dyne was a very friendly person, there's no doubt about that... But this was a bit too weird, even for Wasp.
"Uh...why'd the alarm go off?"
"Some bad guy-Spymaster, I think it is-broke into the Mansion. Ya know, now that you've been through that whole pheromone thing, you seem a lot more impressive. I mean, you survive freak accidents, and stay a handsome hunk."
Wasp just called him a hunk! And gave him a flirtatious compliment that was completely irrelivent and...odd! Wait, was she flirting with him? Red flag! Red flag!
"TONY! HEEEEELLLLLP!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Okay, okay, let's not go crazy," Bruce advised.
He, Clint, T'Chall and Tony were gathered in Clint's room. Why not somewhere better to talk about Clint's problem? Hawkeye was scared Janet would find them. Yes, Hawkeye was afraid of Wasp. What a strange world it is in the land of FanFiction.
"Clearly, Clint's pheromone dousing affected Wasp somehow, causing her to become attracted to him," said T'Challa.
"That makes sense," said Clint. "I mean, bugs use pheromones to find mates, right? Wasp has some insect DNA or whatever inside of her. She thinks of me as a potential mate. I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"So, what do we do about this?" asked Tony.
"My plan was to jump out the window, but any better ideas are welcome," Clint replied.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Mrs. Marvel was returning from a battle with the Whirlwind. It hadn't taken long. It was Whirlwind.
Wasp greeted her.
"Hey, Carol!" she said cheerfully.
"Hey, Jan," the half-kree replied. "How've you been? Any luck getting Hank to fall for you?"
"Hank!?" exclaimed Wasp, agast. "I'm done with Hank. My sights are set on a different man."
"Who?"
"About ye tall, blond, carries a bow."
"HAWKEYE?!" Carol couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"I'm one hundred percent serious."
"But you...you don't...that's not...huh?"
The aforementioned archer walked into the room. When he saw Jan, he said something similar to "OH CRAP WASP HELP!" before straightening, smiling fakely, and waving as if they weren't only a few feet apart.
'What is going on here?' Mrs. Marvel thought to herself.
Then she caught a whiff of the pheromones.
That poor bowman never stood a chance.