Possible series of drabbles in which Kaiba can't cope with his and Jounouchi's break up, so he dates someone that looks like him.
I stared at the boy in front of me. His eyes were more honey colored than brown. His hair was more platinum than gold. He was too slim, and not as well muscled. He was too short, and his hair was too long; tied into a messy ponytail. He wasn't tan enough. His features were a bit too feminine and delicate.
He looked up at me smiled.
His smile was bright. Not quite as bright as his, but still oh so nostalgic. He wasn't a perfect match, but he was close. A few minor adjustments here and there and he would be a dead ringer.
I could work with that.
"What is it Kaiba-sama?" he asked as he clutched my arm.
"Nothing," I replied quietly, pulling the umbrella closer over his head, "Zip up your coat. You'll catch a cold."
The boy shot me a toothy grin, "Kaiba-sama is too over protective."
"And Katsuro Shouta is too careless," I responded flatly, "Now zip up your jacket."
His banter was subpar. It lacked the intensity and the fire that I desired. He was much too talkative and he liked to talk about frivolous things. He didn't like to argue. I missed arguing.
"Fine," he pouted as he reluctantly zipped up his jacket.
He gave in too easily.
"Kaiba-sama."
"Yes?"
"I'm hungry. Can we get some ice cream?" he asked with bright eyes.
He was needy. He was constantly asking me for things. Not that I particularly minded however. It wasn't like I couldn't afford it. It's just that he would rather walk on hot coals than lower his pride enough to ask me for something. He was far too independent.
Not that it mattered though. He was long gone and I was searching for ghosts.
"Ice cream isn't a proper meal," I chastised.
"Please?" he asked, nuzzling his head into my shoulder, "Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
Perhaps I gave in too easily as well. Katsuro Shouta could whine just as much as he could. It felt so real.
"Okay."
"Thank you," he said as he gave my arm a squeeze, "Kaiba-sama is the best."
He didn't argue when I failed to respond. We fell into a comfortable silence as we walked arm in arm down the street.
The rain fell down softly around us. I shifted the umbrella once more to make sure I was indeed sheltering the boy from the rain. Maybe I was too over protective. Love was supposed to make you soft right? Not that this was love. It was more like an acquired penchant.
In truth, he was something I could live without. No matter what I did, Katsuro Shouta would never be him. But the smaller boy did bear a striking resemblance, and I didn't mind particularly mind his company. It kept the biting edge of loneliness away…for the most part.
If anything, it was a good way to kill time.
So I allowed the smaller boy to tug me along into a small café. He stared at the display counter with wonder.
"Ooh, chocolate cake!" he cooed, "Look they have cupcakes too Kaiba-sama."
His eyes were bright. That look was way too familiar, but his eyes were the wrong shade of brown. I frowned.
"I thought you wanted ice cream."
He smiled at me with childlike wonder. I felt a pang of sadness dance across my chest at the familiar look, "I'm so hungry I could eat them all!"
"You and I both know you're physically incapable. A French vanilla coffee for me," I said to the woman behind the counter, "and whatever the boy wants."
I handed the woman more than enough money and she accepted the money with wide eyes.
"Keep the change."
"Oh, t-thank you sir," she said as she turned to make my coffee.
I watched with slight amusement as the boy wandered around the store debating what sweets to choose. This boy was indecisive. It wasn't something I was used to. He would've known exactly what he wanted. He would have been stuffing his face by now with a wide variety of baked goods and at the end of it he would turn to me, crumbs all over his face, and he would smile. But he wasn't here anymore was he? He was wrapped in the arms of another.
My heart ached.
They made a handsome couple. Both good looking and blonde. He looked far happier with her than he ever did with me. She could give him things I couldn't. Things money couldn't buy. She made him smile. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my heart I hoped he was smiling now.
In truth, I would give almost anything to make him smile one last time.
I ran a tired hand through my hair as I sat down in an empty booth. The boy followed with bright eyes and a wide smile.
"Kaiba-sama? Would you like some cake?" the bright eyed boy asked offering me of forkful of chocolate cake.
He used to do the same thing. He'd offer me a portion of whatever he was eating, insisting we share "the experience." It wouldn't feel the same. No matter how alike they looked it would never be the same.
It was something I knew too well.
"No," I responded, "I'm fine with just my coffee."
He gave me a petulant look as I sipped my coffee, "Kaiba-sama doesn't eat enough. You'll get too thin."
It was comforting to know the boy cared. It was comforting to know that at least some aspects about this were real. The boy's heart was too big. Much like his heart. I could only hope I wouldn't hurt Katsuro Shouta the same way I had hurt him.
But that's the inevitable outcome isn't it? It wasn't meant to be. It would never be the same.
How long could I live with this charade?
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."
He laughed. It was delicate and sounded like the tinkling of bells. It was a far cry from the loud and obnoxious guffaw I was used to.
"I know, I know. Kaiba-sama is strong!" he declared as he took a large bite of his cake, "Kaiba-sama is a dragon."
Dragon. That's what he used to call me. It didn't sound right coming from the boy's lips. It didn't have the same ring to it.
It never would.
"Today was nice. I studied a lot for the entrance exams for Domino University. It was nice to have Kaiba-sama set aside a few hours of work to help me study. Thank you very much, Kaiba-sama," the boy said as he lost interest in the chocolate cake and moved on to the butter cream cake.
"Your studies are important," I replied absent mindedly.
"I know Kaiba-sama I know!" he said with a slight pout, "I'm really hoping I get accepted into the literature program. It was always my favorite subject, and I know how much Kaiba-sama enjoys reading."
It didn't take much on my part to remain engaged in conversation with the boy. For the most part he was content enough to prattle on about trivial things. A few acknowledgements here and there on my part was enough to keep the conversion going.
We didn't have much in common. I was a highly successful CEO of my own company and the boy was a mere high school graduate. If Katsuro Shouta didn't resemble him so greatly, I would have never even considered keeping such lowly company.
But on days were I was lonely enough, the boy was a welcome distraction. It almost enough to fill the void in my heart. He was good company, I suppose, albeit a bit simple. We got along together well enough.
'But was it really okay to play with another's feelings?' a small voice in the back of my head asked. I could almost hear his voice as clear as day, chastising me for my wrong doings. 'Was it really okay to ask for the boy's heart and offer nothing in return?'
"…And the author was signing copies at the bookstore. I was really excited. I even waited two hours in line to see her! When her new book came out I preordered my copy and everything. It was so nice to meet her and get her autograph Kaiba-sama."
I sipped my coffee, "Hn, sounds nice."
"Oh, it was! Besides Kaiba-sama, Mamiko-sensei is the second most famous person I have ever met. She even wished me good luck when I told her I was applying for college. I can't wait for her next book to come out," he said with a laugh.
The light didn't bounce off his eyes as quite as bright. His smile wasn't as mischievous, and far too childlike.
Why did I keep searching for things I knew I wouldn't find?
"Are you ready to go?"
"I guess so," he said with a grin, "I got Mokuba something. I hope he likes red velvet cupcakes."
I felt a frown tug at my lips at the mention of my younger brother. Mokuba. He was the only one who could make me smile after he left. Mokuba was the only good thing I had left. He was the only person I would ever let myself love ever again.
"Mokuba loves sweets. He will be fine."
"Alright Kaiba-sama," he said as we stood up to leave.
He immediately attached himself to my arm once more. As we stepped outside I opened the umbrella up once more to shield him from the rain. He cradled the bag of sweets with his free hand as we walked arm in arm down the street to my car.
He hummed a happy tune softly.
I was used to going through the motions. I'm sure that the boy was happy enough. It didn't particularly matter to me, and he was an easy person to please. Just like him. He certainly looked happy now a days. Happier than he had ever looked in fact. And if he was happy than that was enough. That was all that mattered.
I opened the passenger door for the boy, and settled into the driver's seat. I'd always loved going on night drives. It was one of the only things that could distract me from the pain when he left. I would drive for hours on end with no destination in mind. As far as I was concerned, it was much better than rolling around in an empty bed, lingering on things I couldn't change.
As he leaned back in his seat, his bangs fell over his eyes. I reached out instinctively to brush the stray hair out of his face, and I found my hand lingering on his cheek, stroking it gently with my thumb. He turned to the side to kiss my open palm.
"Katsu," I murmured softly, wishing so much to turn back the hands of time.
Maybe I couldn't be with him. Not tonight, not next week, or not possibly ever again. But I couldn't stop the overwhelming want. I couldn't stop the burning desire to see him again. Somewhere inside of me I knew it was wrong, but for now, in this moment, I could pretend.
He leaned over to press his forehead to mine, "Kaiba-sama…"
I captured his lips in a desperate kiss. My hands weaved into his hair, gently holding him to me. It was irrational, I know, but I couldn't help but feel that if I didn't hold onto the boy that he would disappear and leave me alone once more.
His lips moved hungrily against mine and I poured out my sorrows. I shut my eyes tightly, imagining the familiar mop of golden blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes that were permanently etched into my mind. Was he still as beautiful as he was the day he left me? Was he smiling now?
We broke apart and the boy let out a contented sigh. He bit his lip shyly and stared down into his lap. I started the car quietly and fixed my eyes onto the dark road in front of me. No, it wasn't fair of me to manipulate the boy's feelings. It was selfish really, but I couldn't help myself.
"Kaiba-sama," the boy called out tentatively.
"Yes?" I replied absently.
"Kaiba-sama, I love you. I love you so much," the boy whispered as we stopped at a red light. He kissed my cheek.
Katsuro Shouta would never be Jounouchi Katsuya. Jounouchi Katsuya would probably never come back to me. I would never be able to open my heart to someone else the way I had to him. I could never turn Katsuro Shouta into Jounouchi Katsuya. These were things I knew to be true.
I wasn't one to hope or dream. I made the best of situations with what I knew to be true. So maybe Katsuro Shouta would never be him.
But I could always pretend. It kept the pain away, at least for a while.
"And I you."