Pop Culture Shock

Rated PG for mild violence

I do not own any character already copyrighted to Cosgrove Hall. Neither do I own ebay.com (for it's brief moments). Everything else here, including Judas Franklin, belongs to me.

Author's Note: Since this story revolves around the supposed animal music industry, I decided to have a little fun with the idea. I borrowed the names of three famous pop culture icons and changed them slightly to fit the Danger Mouse atmosphere. See if you can guess who… enjoy!!

London- home to the world's greatest secret agent, Danger Mouse; his assistant, Penfold; and their new recruit, an American German Shepherd dog by the name Judas Franklin. It had been perhaps a month or so after Judas had moved in, and already it seemed that both the agent and his assistant were becoming quite accustomed to their new guest.

…Well, almost accustomed, anyway.

As Danger Mouse busied himself in a book, apparently trying to study a dead language, Judas sat down beside him. He placed his headphones over his ears, pressed Play on his stereo, and turned up the volume. He bopped his head to the music, quite pleased with his new CD, as Danger Mouse became increasingly irritated with the noise.

Finally, DM snatched the headphones away from Judas and pressed Stop on the stereo. "What on earth are you doing?" he questioned. "That music is so loud that I can hear all the lyrics!"

Upset, Judas grabbed his headphones and pulled them close to his chest fondly. "It's my music," he whined. "It's my new CD, and by my favorite artist, too."

"Now, who might that be?" the agent asked caustically.

Judas smiled with pride. "Scoop Dawg," he replied, holding out the CD case as proof. "It's his latest album, and man did I have to pay a fortune- $25!"

Curious, Danger Mouse eyed the CD case, showing a picture of the Dalmatian rap artist. He was squatting on the ground in oversized clothes, including a backward gray baseball cap which covered his eyes. Overall, he looked like the rebellious youth the agent had expected him to be.

Of course, Judas could easily see the doubt in DM's eyes; he carefully slipped the headphones over his ears. "Just give it a listen- it's not that bad," he offered. "For your sake, I ordered the censored version. It's actually kind of cool, once you get used to the censorship."

Before the agent could say anything, Judas had already pressed Play. At first, all he could hear was the slow, steady beat of typical rap music. Soon, the artist's voice intervened with the music, though the most he could hear was a string of curses censored by a beeping sound. If anything, the tune was quite catchy, but that was all.

Danger Mouse removed the headphones, rolling his eyes. "A waste of money and a waste of time, if you ask me," he muttered. "Where did you manage to find that anyway?"

The recruit cocked his eyebrows. "Ebay," he responded. "Dude, it's the 21st century; wake up and surf the Internet."

At that moment, the alarm sounded. Danger Mouse had long since known what that meant, and Judas seemed to be getting used to it too. Even Penfold, who had been in the laundry room beforehand, stumbled into the room to see what the trouble was.

The screen flickered, and a rather stout fellow appeared onscreen. "Danger Mouse," Colonel K addressed, "I've got an important mission for you; it's of utmost urgency."

DM nodded. "Of course," he replied. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"There's been a rash of kidnappings, DM," the colonel began. "Some of the world's most famous pop culture icons have gone missing!"

To say the least, the agent was a bit flustered with the situation. "Good grief," he uttered.

In contrast, Judas leaned in closer. "Like who?" he queried, interested.

Colonel K struggled to press the right button on his intercom. "I'll show you in a moment," he said, pressing other random buttons before a picture of a youthful wolf appeared onscreen. "The first of these disappearances was Justin Timberwolf."

Judas scoffed. "Oh, brother," he murmured. "Talk about a publicity stunt!"

Another picture, this time of a young female rodent, appeared as well. "The next case was Avril Lemming," the colonel reported.

The recruit rolled his eyes. "If this next one's another teen fad, I might as well stay here," he complained.

The last picture was, ironically, of a familiar Dalmatian youth. "This last report doesn't have a name," Colonel K admitted, "but he is currently known as-"

"Scoop Dawg??" Judas hollered, his eyes wide. "Scoop Dawg?!" He turned to the White Wonder, kneeling at his feet. "You've got to take on this case! You have to!!"

Though un-amused with Judas' plea, Danger Mouse had no intention of giving up on any assignment he was given. "Consider it done, Colonel," he assured.

The colonel appeared back onscreen, nodding approvingly. "Good show, DM," he responded. "Over and out."

The agent turned to his assistant and his recruit as the screen behind him flickered off. "Right," he said, sitting down on the couch. "Come, Penfold… Judas."

Smiling, Judas sat next to Danger Mouse and Penfold. He was slowly getting used to how these duties were traditionally handled, but to him every mission was an adventure; he never knew what to expect.

Without warning, the seat beneath them shot downwards, like an elevator. After a moment or so, they stopped moving and instead slid down a small ramp into DM's car, the Mark III. In an instant, they shot off onto the street and began their trail of investigation.

Penfold looked at Danger Mouse in confusion. "Um, where are we going, chief?" he asked.

"The scene of the crime, Penfold," the White Wonder answered. "There should be a building down this road…" He turned his head slightly to see Judas hanging his head over the side of the car. "Judas, how many times have I told you not to do that?"

Reluctantly, Judas recoiled into the car and fixed his hair. "Sorry- it's a habit of mine, I guess," he muttered. "So, where are we going, anyway?"

DM smirked. "I thought you of all people would know," he remarked, pulling up in front of a huge studio. "Eunich Records Company."

To say the least, Judas was stunned. Still, he regained his composure, though quite unconvincingly. "I knew that," he lied as he, Danger Mouse, and Penfold stepped out of the car. "I knew that the whole time!"

The threesome stepped inside the studio, immediately overwhelmed with all hustle and bustle going about. Animals rushed back and forth through the sets as lights and sounds galore attracted their attention.

Finally, the agent and his companions came across a doe in a violet business suit. She paced nervously back and forth, then looking up to see them. "Danger Mouse?" she inquired.

"Of course," DM replied. "Now, what's going on here?"

The doe approached the White Wonder, shaking his hand. "I'm Rita Deer, supervisor of this studio," she introduced herself, her voice growing more erratic. "It's so good to see you- you don't know how hectic it's been around here since Justin and the others were kidnapped. We weren't even expecting Avril or Scoop Dawg to disappear like that!"

Both Penfold and Judas stood back, almost frightened with Ms. Deer's behavior. "Looks like someone's had a little too much coffee this morning," the recruit whispered to himself.

Danger Mouse, however, was more focused on the job at hand. "Have you gathered any evidence?" he asked.

Ms. Deer's face seemed, for the moment, bright with hope. "We did find a rather odd fellow on the security camera," she mentioned, showing him an enlarged photo. "We're fairly sure he has something to do with all this."

The agent looked closely at the figure in the photo. He wore a black trench-coat and a hat to match; he also seemed to have a rather large nose.

"Stiletto," the White Wonder reasoned. "I should have guessed this was Greenback's handiwork. What would he want with famous pop culture icons?"

Judas rolled his eyes. "You've got me," he admitted. "No offense, but Justin's probably not the brightest crayon in the box, and Avril's no step-up either. Scoop Dawg's an awesome rapper, but I doubt he knows anything."

The doe nervously looked around the studio. "We've found something else…" she began, then picking up what she was looking for. "This is a piece of carpeting from Justin's dressing room. After having accidentally spilled my water bottle, we discovered something quite odd." She displayed the piece of white carpeting, a bright blue stain covering most of the material. "We've found a similar substance in Avril's and Scoop Dawg's dressing room floors as well. Can you make anything of it?

To say the least, they were all a bit surprised with the discovery. "Now that's weird," Judas commented. "It looks like bleach."

"Perhaps not," DM corrected, "but it's most likely a poison, and a strong one at that."

At that moment, a stage crew worker approached Ms. Deer and whispered something to her. Without a moment's hesitation, she explained the situation to the agent. "Some of the workers on our set crew have found a very similar stain near a trap door in the back of the studio," she reported.

The White Wonder nodded. "Then we have no time to lose!"

Upon reaching the back of the studio, the agent started looking for a blue stain. "I don't understand," he mumbled, turning to Ms. Deer. "Are you sure it's back here?"

The neurotic doe bit her lip. "Well, that's what the set crew told me," she responded. "They told me that it was right here, by the trap door."

Judas was beginning to see how complicated the situation really was. "So, the real question is, 'where's the trap door?'" he assumed.

Penfold yawned as he leaned against a nearby wall. Unbeknownst to him, he had accidentally pushed a button, activating the trap door! Once he realized that the floor beneath his feet was gone, Penfold looked down; he fell, his screams alerting DM and Judas.

Danger Mouse shook his head. "Penfold, this is not the time to be playing games," he reprimanded, sighing heavily. "I guess I'll have to come down and get you." With that, he jumped and disappeared down the trap door.

Rolling his eyes, Judas approached the trap door. "Might as well," he grumbled, just before he jumped. "What choice do I really have?"

As the American recruit fell down the trap door after the British agent and his confidant, Ms. Deer grew more worried. "First the world's best singers, now the world's best agent??" she stated as she began pacing back and forth once more. "Oh deer, oh deer, oh deer!"

Penfold had been falling for about a minute or so, and finally he managed to reach the bottom. "Ooh, crumbs," he commented as he stood and looked around. "Where am I? Hello?"

Suddenly, the White Wonder made his entrance, landing gracefully on both feet. "Penfold, there you are," he said. "Now, where are we?"

The hamster shrugged. "I was hoping you would know," he admitted.

At that moment, Judas finally made it to the bottom. He stood, joining the agent and his assistant. "Next time, let's try and find a stairwell, or an elevator," he remarked. "So… where are we, anyway?"

Before DM had a chance to reply, an evil laugh interrupted his thoughts. "Welcome, Danger Mouse," said a hauntingly familiar voice.

Danger Mouse sneered as Penfold shuddered at the thought and Judas growled in frustration. "Greenback," they stated.

"Show yourself, Baron," the White Wonder demanded. "What is it you want?"

The sound of Greenback's laughter echoed in the darkness of their surroundings, but still he did not show himself. "Wretched rodent, do you think I am so easily persuaded?" he mocked. "However, since you have come in search of these icons, I shall show you the door where they lie… and more." His cackling continued until it finally dissolved into silence.

Judas blinked in confusion. "That's it?" he remarked. "He's just going to show us where they are? That's too good to be true-"

"Quite possibly because it is," DM reasoned. "Baron Greenback is not one of my easiest opponents; merely, the most common. His methods are quite unusual, so expect the unexpected."

To say the least, Judas was a bit confused. "Expect the unexpected?" he repeated. "How do you suggest I do that?"

All of a sudden, the lights came on. Everywhere the agent and his companions looked, there were doors- endless hallways of doors! Worst of all, they had no idea which was the correct one!

The recruit sighed heavily. "So this is what he meant," he murmured.

"Ooh crumbs, Chief," Penfold stated as he looked to DM hopefully. "What'll we do now?"

Danger Mouse sighed. "There's nothing else we can do but try," he admitted. "One of these doors must be the one we're looking for."

Rubbing his hands together, Judas approached a door. "This is a difficult and complex situation, and this requires absolute concentration and sensitivity; one false move could mean the fate of the animal music industry as we know it," he explained, pausing for a moment. "Better try everything- you're only young once."

The White Wonder rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Good grief," he mumbled, pushing Judas aside. "Let me handle this."

Upon opening the door, DM was greeted by a monstrously large eyeball. A low growl and a sneer were the only signs needed; immediately, the agent slammed the door closed behind him. "Wrong door," he commented.

Judas rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother," he murmured, approaching the next door. "This is obviously the right door."

Unfortunately, Judas was greeted by a feminine shriek and a blow to the head. "Sorry, ma'am- ow!" he tried to apologize, as the woman continued to beat him. "I didn't mean to- ow! Watch it! Ouch! That scrub-brush is a lethal weapon! Ow! Okay! Okay! I'm- ow!- going! I'm going!"

Stifling a chuckle, the White Wonder peered down the corridors. "Good grief," he remarked. "This process could go on for days. We need to find some way to open the only door that isn't frightening."

Frustrated, Judas rubbed his head, hoping to soothe the pain. "Or violent," he added.

Penfold stood idly by as DM and Judas continued trying doors. He then heard what sounded like mumbling coming from the door next to him. "Um, Danger Mouse," he addressed. "Have you tried this one yet?"

Curious, the agent approached the door his assistant had indicated. "No, I don't believe so," he answered.

"What makes you think he can do any better than we did?" Judas inquired.

Danger Mouse shrugged. "It's happened before," he explained. "We may as well try this time."

Sure enough, once the White Wonder had opened the door, who should he see but the three pop culture icons, bound around a central pillar. "Well done, Penfold!" he commended.

Surprised, Judas followed DM inside. "Wow, go figure," he remarked, patting Penfold on the back. "Good job, little guy."

To say the least, Justin Timberwolf was probably the most ecstatic of the three stars. "Thank goodness you're here, Danger Mouse!" he exclaimed. "For a minute there, I thought we'd never get out of here!"

The only female pop singer, obviously Avril Lemming, gave the agent a cold stare. "Yeah, it's about time!" she spat. "I thought I'd never hear the end of it from Dirty Dawg over here!"

"Yo!" the ever-famous Scoop Dawg hollered. "Get us outta here, yo!"

For a brief moment, Judas had forgotten where he was, mistaking Greenback's clever hideout for heaven. "Scoop Dawg," he said in awe as he rushed over to the rapper, untying the ropes. "I've waiting so long for this day… I've gotta tell you: your songs are so-"

Un-amused with Judas, Scoop Dawg pushed his fan aside, as if he was nothing but a trash can. "Yo," he said simply.

Judas sat there, trying to fathom what had just happened. He had always figured that his icon was honored to have fans; he had expected perhaps an autograph, or at least a "thank you." No, instead he was treated like a stranger and nothing more. Was he expecting too much?

Unfortunately, Danger Mouse had other plans in mind for the three pop culture icons. "Now, let's get back upstairs," he stated. "Your supervisor seemed very worried about you, and I'm sure thousands of your fans feel the same way."

"Right," Justin agreed, pointing outside the door as if he were the leader. "Lead on, White Wonder!"

For what seemed like hours on end, the group wandered aimlessly through the corridors. To DM's surprise, the trap door was nowhere to be found!

Avril whined. "We passed that door ten times already!" she complained. "Are you sure you know where you're going??"

With a heavy sigh, Danger Mouse pressed onward. "I'm positive," he answered. "It's just that… I can't find that trap door. I'm sure it was here!"

Scoop Dawg rolled his eyes. "This is bogus, yo," he commented.

Penfold glanced at the pop music icons for a moment. "Oh, you don't know Danger Mouse," he remarked. "Once given a challenge, he never gives up!"

Justin took out a hand-mirror, glancing at himself in all his "perfection". "Well, he'd better get us out of here soon," he said, fixing his hair. "I don't know how long my fans can stand to be without me."

Judas shook his head in disbelief; he had always suspected that Justin was a bit self-conscious, but that particular moment was unbelievable. "They've survived without you before," he responded bluntly. "I'm pretty sure they can wait a few more hours."

"Yes," another familiar voice interrupted. "This will all be over fairly soon."

Danger Mouse stopped dead in his tracks. He looked towards to the only open doorway as an evil cackle caught his attention. "Greenback," he uttered.

At that moment, a robotic hand reached out and grabbed DM around the waist, pulling him inside. Shocked, Penfold and Judas (along with the three pop stars) ran inside. "Danger Mouse!" the two companions screamed.

Once inside, the door closed behind the group and the lights switched on, revealing what seemed to be a large laboratory. The agent was strapped to a vertical metal bed with a laser cannon aimed right at him, and hidden behind the protective glass walls stood the terrible toad. "Welcome," he greeted, looking at Penfold and Judas in-particular, "to the demise of Danger Mouse!"

As the villain cackled evilly, Judas snarled. "You'll never get away with it, Baron!" he exclaimed. "Danger Mouse has beaten you many times before, and this time won't be any different!"

Greenback shook his head in mock sympathy. "Oh, but it will," he assured. "That laser cannon is programmed to hit him specifically, and it is amazingly accurate. Once that wretched rodent has been taken care of…" he glanced at the pop culture icons, "I will make sure that you respond to any command I give you. Otherwise, you shall meet the same fate."

Justin hung his head; as much as he didn't want to become Greenback's slave, he had to think of his adoring fans. What would they do without Justin Timberwolf??

Avril rolled her eyes. She had written songs about people like him- as far as she was concerned, this Greenback guy was her ticket to job security!

Scoop Dawg stood emotionless. He could care less what happened to the agent, or to others, or to him. He had always figured that life was nothing but pain and suffering, until you finally died!

The Baron cackled as a new figure entered the room, apparently his crow henchman. "Stiletto," he ordered, "activate the laser."

Stiletto nodded. "Si, Barone," he agreed, looking for the right button on the control panel. "Now, which-a one…"

The American recruit looked around the room frantically. "We've gotta do something," he mumbled. "We have to destroy the laser, but how?"

Then, Judas noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Penfold- your glasses!" he exclaimed. "I've got an idea!"

Quickly, Judas turned to the pop music icons. "Do you have anything that reflects?" he asked. "A mirror, anything?"

Digging deep in her pocket, Avril found a small item and handed it to Judas. "All I have is a compact mirror," she admitted.

"It's good," Judas agreed, "but it's not exactly what I'm looking for."

In an instant, Justin handed over his mirror. "How's this?"

Briefly looking over the two items, Judas sighed. "Better," he commented, "but it's still-"

Suddenly, Judas remembered something. Being a major Scoop Dawg fan, he knew everything about the star, from his real name to his home address to his first pet as a child. What he had realized, however, was far more important.

Acting on impulse, Judas leaped on Scoop Dawg and dug beneath his shirt. As the rapper screamed vulgar obscenities, Judas had retrieved what he was looking for- the star's lucky golden medallion (always carried it around with him)!

Meanwhile, Greenback was growing impatient with his henchman. "Stiletto, would you hurry up?!" he barked.

Judas tossed the medallion into the air. "DM- catch!!" he alerted.

Finally, Stiletto had found the activation button. "Ah, this-a one," he mumbled, pushing the button as he turned back to the Baron. "She's-a ready, Barone!"

Danger Mouse quickly leaned his neck forward, letting the medallion fall upon his shoulders. "Good grief," he remarked. "This is heavy."

At that moment, the laser cannon fired. The beam reflected off the medallion, sending it right back into the cannon. The weapon exploded, destroying Greenback's weapon; unfortunately, before DM could free himself, the Baron had already escaped.

The agent looked around, making sure that everyone was accounted for. "That went well," he stated bluntly, "but what matters is that you're all safe."

Scoop Dawg pointed upwards, towards the ceiling. "Not for long, yo," he commented. The explosion had caused a fire in the base, and it seemed to be quickly spreading.

Penfold hid behind the White Wonder for protection. "Ooh, crumbs," he muttered.

"No need to worry," Danger Mouse assured. "If this whole base is set-up beneath a studio, and if my assumptions are correct, then all we have to do is wait."

Avril growled. "Wait to die?!" she screamed. "You're crazy!"

Suddenly, water started to pour from the ceiling! The flames soon died down, and in the light shower all that remained were the charred refuse and the wet group of six. "Sprinkler system," Judas remarked. "Clever."

Justin gazed across the basement, then seeing a way out. "Hey, guys!" he alerted. "I think I see the stairs! Come on!"

Once upstairs, the pop culture icons were greeted by an ecstatic Ms. Deer. "Oh, Justin!" she said happily, hugging him. "I'm so glad you're safe, and so are your adoring fans!"

"Yeah," Justin replied bluntly. "Okay."

Next, Ms. Deer approached the female singer. "Avril, dear!" she addressed with yet another hug. "I do hope you're alright."

Avril just rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

As Ms. Deer approached the rap star, Scoop Dawg pushed her aside and turned to DM. "Yo, that was bogus, yo!" he hollered. "I don't have to take that, yo! Yo, I'm a star, man-"

Judas came up behind Scoop Dawg and began drawing him away. "You know something? You're right," he agreed. "You are a major pop culture icon, and you deserve to be among the stars."

Scoop Dawg nodded. "Exactly, yo!" he agreed.

The recruit nodded. "So, allow me to give back that medallion…" He swung the item over the rapper's head and across his face, knocking out the pop music star.

Danger Mouse, meanwhile, continued speaking with Ms. Deer. "I must be going," he admitted. "No need to thank me- it's just a job, really."

A moment later- after DM, Penfold, and Judas had said their good-byes and taken off- Ms. Deer thought of the perfect way to repay the agent for his daring deeds.

Perhaps a day or so later, the White Wonder found himself (once more) buried in his books. He then noticed Judas carrying a large box and setting it by the door. "Good riddens," he muttered.

Curious, Danger Mouse set his books aside and approached Judas. "What have we here?" he queried, peering inside the box. Strangely enough, it seemed to be all of Judas' Scoop Dawg memorabilia!

The recruit looked at DM out of the corner of his eye. "That guy was a total jerk," he commented. "He treated me like trash, and he treated you even worse- after you practically saved his life and his career! Even Justin and Avril were a bit of a step-up compared to him!"

The agent chuckled. "Well, if you ask me, you're making a wise decision," he remarked.

Judas sighed heavily. "How'd you know?" he inquired.

"You can usually tell a lot about someone from the way they choose to express themselves," the White Wonder replied. "It's not completely accurate; however, consider it making an educated guess."

Before Judas could respond, a voice came over the intercom. "Delivery for Danger Mouse," he said.

The agent pressed a button on the intercom. "Send it up in the lift," he instructed, picking up Judas' box. "There's also a box of rubbish I'll be sending back down. Could you take care of it for me?"

"Of course," the voice responded.

Moments later, a small package arrived upstairs. As Judas set his box of trash in the lift to go back down, Danger Mouse picked up the package in interest. "Eunich Records Company?" he read aloud. "Now that's odd."

Opening the box, the agent soon discovered three CDs. Each one was the latest single from each of the pop culture icons he saved, and all of them were autographed in permanent marker.

Upon seeing the CD signed by Scoop Dawg, Judas snatched it from the White Wonder. "Don't worry about this one, DM," he assured. "I know exactly what to do with it."

Intrigued, the agent followed Judas into the recruit's room. He smirked as Judas began to load a familiar web-page on his laptop computer. "Hello, Ebay!"

THE END!! ^-^