Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect
A/N - This story came about because of an Ash/fShep drabble prompt on Tumblr by Sailorette. The idea really worked for me so I ran with it and this is the end result. This isn't what I normally write, so if you're not a fan of femslash and this is going to offend you then please don't read it and get all angried up. I'm nervous enough about posting this as it is. Other than that, I really hope you enjoy this and I would love to know what you thought of it!
Celeste Shepard chewed her lower lip and huddled deeper into the lounge, a sinking feeling spreading deep inside of her chest. The leather sofa in the Starboard Observation Lounge was chilly against her skin, and she shivered. Across the room, the stars twinkled through the windows. Normally she found it a soothing view, but she took no pleasure in it tonight, and her fingers drummed an uneven rhythm on her thigh as she tried to will away her nerves.
This was ridiculous! She was Commander Shepard! She faced down reapers, geth and heavy mechs! She didn't get nervous about talking to another human! But I am, she thought to herself as one leg began to jiggle. I'm so nervous I think I'm going to be sick.
Her silvery hair, a blonde so pale it was almost white, seemed to glow in the dim light of the room, and not for the first time Shepard wished she'd cut it short. Her blonde hair was like a beacon that drew far too much attention to her, and almost all of it was the kind she didn't want. Men invariably seemed to think that because that she was an attractive blue-eyed blonde that she welcomed their advances, but nothing could have been further from the truth.
She hated way their eyes moved over her, and never knew what to say when men bought her drinks or propositioned her. Part of her wanted to throw the drinks in their face and tell them to get the hell away from her, and the other half wanted to freeze up and wriggle with embarrassment. It wasn't that she hated men, or that she was scared of them - she'd had boyfriends and enough sexual liaisons to know that wasn't the case.
It was just the pressure they put on her that she hated.
She'd tried dating men and things had never worked out. She'd tried dating women and something had always gone wrong. She'd tried dating asari, turians, and even a drell, but none of them felt right. It was as though she was looking for something, or someone, that she couldn't quite put her finger on. A person who made her glow and tingle with joy; who she could be herself with.
The only problem was that she'd found that person years ago in Ashley Williams. And yeah, for a while there on the Normandy they'd been a couple and it had seemed like there was something real between them. Their gentle flirting had transformed into something more intense and passionate, and they'd spent many amazing, steamy nights together. She had never been happier or felt more alive; being with Ashley had been like coming home.
But that, like so much else in her life, was long gone. Her death had ended their love, and Ash had moved on. Their meeting on Horizon had been disastrous, and working together on Mars had been painful to say the least. She'd been surprised when Ash asked to come back to the Normandy, and had worried about how things might play out between them. But she was too lonely to turn her away.
Star light, Star bright, I wish I may I wish I might, she thought sadly as she gazed out the window and wished that the other human Spectre still loved her too. Ashley was like no one Shepard had ever met. She was honest, funny and cared about her family in a way that made her wish that she still had one. And of course she was absolutely stunning, with that golden skin, warm brown eyes and hair that was the colour of rich dark chocolate.
"No!" Shepard groaned and covered her face with her hands, wishing she could stop her treacherous brain from thinking these things. "This is only going to make things harder!"
Because of course, Ashley had to go; having her on board the Normandy when she still felt this way was a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe if she reciprocated things might have been different, but it was too lonely and too hurtful to have her there each day. Ashley was right in front of her, but so completely out of reach that it hurt.
"Make what harder, Skipper?" Ashley asked as she strolled into the room, her boots hitting the carpet with muffled sighs.
"Nothing." Shepard cleared her throat as her friend dropped onto the couch beside her and stretched. The move was almost provocative, and Ash's body lightly brushed against hers as she yawned and reclined. It sent shivers up her spine, and she struggled to keep her eyes on her face instead of letting them slide lower like she wanted to.
"Oh, wow, it feels so good just to stretch out and relax, you know?" Her second in command sat up and grinned. "Too many days of fighting the reapers and not enough relaxation." Ash considered her for a moment, and then hesitantly added, "You know, you and I really should take some time off to relax."
'You and I' she'd said. Did that mean … ?
Shepard forced herself to stay calm as Ashley's words sunk in. Was this for real? Was she actually making a move on her again? After so long? Was it genuine, or did she suspect that the fraught air between them had grown too much for Shepard, and she'd been on the brink of asking her to leave?
No, Ashley was too honest, Shepard decided. If she was actually doing this, it was for real.
"'You and I', huh?" she repeated quietly, her eyes asking a silent question as they locked with the brunette's gaze.
A small smile played around Ashley's lips, and she leaned forward and reached out to playfully tug on one of Shepard's blonde locks. "Yeah, well, I mean, if you're interested." She hesitated and bit her lower lip before she continued. "You've never been the easiest woman to read, but I think you are." Her gorgeous eyes smouldered as they held her gaze. "I think you miss me just as much as I miss you, am I wrong?"
For a moment, doubt flickered in her normally sure eyes, and time seemed to stop as Shepard tried desperately to find the words to answer. Her heart pounded in her chest, blood roared in her ears, and the words she desperately wanted to say danced just out of each.
Finally, Shepard let out her breath in a small sigh and swallowed the lump in her throat. "You know I've missed you, Ash. I still care about you."
The lieutenant's small smile blossomed into a grin as the tension between them shattered and she tossed Shepard a look that sent butterflies dancing through her stomach. "Thank goodness! After what I said on Mars and did on the Citadel, well, I wasn't sure you'd even speak to me again, let alone be interested in rekindling this. Us. You are, right?" She blushed slightly and bit her lip gain. "Am I moving too fast? I just want ... you. I want to be with you again, Celeste. Like it used to be before I ruined everything."
Ashley suddenly looked so uncertain, embarrassed and sad, that Shepard reached across and took her hand. "No, you're not moving too fast. I want this too and I have for a long time. It's just that, well, I thought you'd moved on. After Horizon things were so strained between us …"
"I'm sorry about that," she interrupted and squeezed her hand tightly. "But there's only ever been you, Shepard."
The brunette curled her fingers around Shepard's and planted a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. Then, with a devilish twinkle in her eyes, she tugged her closer and gently but firmly pulled her CO into her waiting arms. Shepard tried to be sensible, to make herself say something to stop this from happening when she'd brought Ash here to suggest she leave the Normandy and put some distance between them, but their lips met and thought became impossible.
Ashley's lips were full, warm and soft against hers, and she let out a quiet moan as their mouths meshed hungrily. The desire she'd fought so hard to keep in check crashed through in a fiery wave, and Shepard whimpered as she clung to Ashley. She smelled so familiar; of violets and honeysuckle. It reminded her of walks down country lanes as a child, smelling flowers and laughing with a family she'd lost long ago.
When they surfaced from the kiss, she met Ashley's eyes and cupped her face with one trembling hand. "Are you sure? I've missed you so much. If this is just a fling …"
"I want this," Ash said firmly, and she slid a hand around her waist, pulling her flush against her body. "I want you. I love you, don't you know that yet?"
Celeste's heart skipped a beat and she sank into her embrace. "I love you too."
She sighed happily and relaxed against Ash, glad she hadn't pushed her away or rejected her out of fear of being hurt again. The intimate lighting in the Starboard Observation Lounge and the familiar hum of the Normandy's engine were soothing, and she snuggled against her girlfriend. Casually, Ash threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close; settling their bodies more firmly together on the couch.
It was a gorgeous evening, and Shepard tucked her hair behind her ears as she dropped her head to Ash's shoulder. Contentment seeped through her, and she turned her gaze to the glittering sky out the window. Millions of stars were sprinkled artfully across the velvety blue backdrop, as though some great hand had scattered them for their enjoyment; it was a view that always took her breath away.
In this moment it felt as though nothing had changed between them; like the years and months they'd been apart had fallen away in the last few minutes. She wanted to be close to Ash again, and dedicate long steamy nights to exploring her body. They'd always found a beautiful joy in touching, kissing and tasting every part of each other, and she wanted that again. Until this very moment, with Ash back in her arms, she hadn't realised just how much she'd missed her.
"Do you remember the first time we kissed?" Ash asked softly as her hand stroked slow circles on her back.
"Of course." Celeste arched into her lover's touch. "In my cabin, the night before Ilos."
"We thought it would be the last night of our lives."
"It almost was," Shepard reminded her with a soft laugh. "I'll always remember that kiss." She tilted her head up and gazed into her girlfriend's beautiful eyes. "And the rest of that night of course. It was the best of my life."
She looked so beautiful that Shepard grinned and tumbled her back onto the couch, pinning her wrists either side of her face in a re-enactment of one of the things they'd done that night. They both grinned as Shepard kissed the tip of her nose, wriggling suggestively as she settled between Ash's long shapely legs.
"Close your eyes," Celeste ordered, her voice dropping to a low purr as she leaned in and nibbled her earlobe.
Ashley gasped in pleasure and obediently closed her eyes, and Shepard chuckled as her lieutenant trembled beneath her. She gave into temptation and leaned down, pressing light kisses along the curve of her jaw and nibbling the side of her neck. She bit Ash hard in the spot she knew she liked, then sucked gently; marking her. Ashley twisted and jerked beneath her, grinding her hips upwards into Shepard's as she cried out.
It was her favourite sound, Celeste thought; that feminine moan of pleasure.
A languid warmth spread through Shepard's body and pooled at the apex of her thighs as she continued on her mission of exploration. She followed the graceful curve of Ash's shoulder, showering her with kisses, and ran her tongue along her collar bone. She released her hands slowly, and trailed her fingertips down her arms and along the collar of her low cut Alliance shirt.
"Please!" Ash begged, her eyes fluttering open and meeting her gaze. "Please don't stop."
Shepard leaned forward and kissed her, groaning as their mouths met in a hungry clash of lips, teeth and tongue. She slid her fingers under the hem of Ash's shirt and slowly began to slide it up, exposing inch after inch of beautiful tanned skin and gloriously toned muscles. Gods, she was beautiful; she truly was.
"Stop?" Shepard teased as she lifted the shirt to expose Ash's breasts, and ran her hands lightly over the lace cups that held them. "Now why would I want to do that?"
With a gentle tug she pulled the shirt over Ash's head and tossed it to the side, then she turned her attention to those wonderful lace-encased mounds. She cupped both breasts in her hands, massaging gently as she dragged her thumb nails over the tight little buds, knowing full well how delicious it would feel with the scratchy lace covering them. Sure enough, Ashley let out a low moan and her body shivered beneath her, a beautiful smile drifting across her lips.
"Any time you want me to stop, just say," Shepard invited teasingly as she leaned down and took one of Ash's nipples in her mouth. She sucked gently, lightly grating her teeth over the lace and swirling her tongue in a circle. She lavished attention on one of her gorgeously perfect breasts and then turned her attention to the other, a low moan slipping from her mouth as Ashley arched beneath her and cried out.
She smiled and kissed a trail down her body, her hands slipping down to unsnap the lieutenant's trouser fastenings and slide her tight fitting BDU's down her legs. Briefly, she left Ashley to stand up, and tugged the other woman's boots and socks off, then finished removing her trousers. Ash lay on the couch with only the barest wisps of lace covering her most intimate of places. Shepard let her eyes linger on the dips and hollows of her body, following the graceful curve of her breasts and hips.
Her mouth ran dry, and when Ashley half sat up and gave her a lazy inviting smile, her heart fluttered in her chest. She removed her own clothing with hands that shook, and tossed them carelessly to the floor. She wanted to feel their skin pressed together, to taste her lips, skin and other more intimate places.
Ash patted the couch and raised an eyebrow. "C'mon, Skipper. Don't keep me waiting."
The sound of her old nickname sent a roll of heat through her and Celeste smirked as she returned to her lover's arms, sliding back into her embrace as though she'd never left. She was warm and soft, and her skin was like hot velvet against hers as they came tother. She wound her arms around Ashley's neck and kissed her deeply, dipping her tongue into her mouth and sliding one long thigh between her legs.
She began to kiss her way down Ash's beautiful body, nibbling and sucking on any part of the gorgeous brunette that took her fancy. Things were exactly as she remembered between them, and she dipped her tongue into her bellybutton and laughed softly when Ash cried out. Shepard nuzzled her taunt belly, then hooked her fingers into the waistband of Ashley's underwear and slid them down her legs and over her feet.
With a final kiss, Shepard moved to the floor and knelt in front of Ash as she lay on the couch. She eased herself between her legs, peppering kisses over her inner thighs and sliding her hands up her legs. Ashley panted and her hands fisted into the couch cushions, gripping them tightly as she watched her move closer.
"Shepard, when you look at me like that it makes me want to melt," Ash whispered throatily, her eyes heavy with desire. "You look hot."
Shepard playfully bit her inner thigh. "Now as hot as you do," she told her.
She spread Ashley's legs more firmly and settled between them, kissing each of her thighs before she turned her attention to the velvety folds at her very core. She kissed her delicately, flicking her tongue over her slit before more exploring her more intimately. Ashley made a noise somewhere between a moan and a sigh as her legs trembled and she rested them on her shoulders, the muscles in her calves tightening as she flexed her feet.
Shepard licked her fingers and used them in her ministrations, ensuring she'd found every nook and cranny of her lover before she slid one finger and then two inside of her. She worked them in and out, slowly at first, gently seeking that spot that Ashley loved. She knew when she'd found it; Ash's body jack-knifed on the couch and she whimpered, and Shepard focused on running her fingers over that wonderful place.
She smiled against Ashley's sex and licked more forcefully, following her slit with her tongue and the taking her nub into her mouth and sucking gently. The reaction was instantaneous; Ashley's hips bucked and her body tightened around her fingers as she came, a sharp keening sound of pleasure escaping her lips. Her hands found Shepard's hair and tightened convulsively as she held her close while her body shook and trembled.
Finally, she slumped bonelessly back to the couch and with a shaky laugh, she urged her away. "No more Celeste, no more or I'll die."
"Not a bad way to go," Shepard told her with a smile as she kissed her thighs again and slid back up her body. "I could think of worse ways."
"Shut up." Ashley grinned happily and pulled her down for a kiss. "You're a minx, woman."
"Yep," she agreed happily as she sank down, her body tight and warm from listening to her cries of bliss. "I missed doing that to you."
Her girlfriend laughed softly. "See? That's minx talk. I thought I was supposed to be the bad-girl out of the two of us?"
Shepard pulled back a little to glance at her, smirking slightly. "Well, I guess you'll have to out-minx me, Williams."
"You know I can't resist a challenge!" Ash murmured sexily as she pulled her back into a kiss.
Her hands slid around her shoulders, down her back and over the curve of her ass, squeezing gently and kneading her flesh. Ashley moaned into the kiss, and then allowed her hands to move lower. They delicately danced down her legs, fingertips gently brushing against the skin on her thighs before she dipped one hand in between her legs. Shepard gasped at the feather light touch and shivers of pleasure rippled along her skin at the sensations Ashley aroused in her.
She tried to think of something clever to say, but words failed her as those questing fingers slipped inside her underwear. Her touch was electric, and Shepard curled her body into the delicate movements of her fingers, urging her on with small sounds. Ash's fingers gently circled the bundle of nerves at her core, slick with her juices, and slid between her silken folds, a low moan of appreciation slipping from her lips as she felt how wet and aroused Celeste was.
"You're so perfect, Shepard," she breathed against her mouth. "And I love that you missed me as much as I missed you."
Shepard gasped as Ash's fingers began moving in a familiar circular rhythm around her clit and deep within her, over and over, and heat began to pool in her belly. She clung to her lover; kissing and nibbling every part of her that she could each. She moved her hands back to Ashley's breasts and wrenched down the lace cups so she could feel the wonderful silken flesh against her. It felt wonderful, and she shaped her flesh in her hands, squeezing and rolling her nipples between her fingers, struggling hard to keep a clear head through the haze of pleasure.
"Ash!" she mumbled her name clumsily as the tension grew and built within her own body, the waves of pleasure rolling and crashing within her. "Please, I'm so close."
Her lover kept up her ministrations as she used the other hand to slide down Shepard's bra straps and expertly reached around behind her to unclip it. Freed from the sports bra, which was far more practical than sexy, Shepard moaned as the cool air brushed against her nipples. Ashley leaned forward and took one of her breasts in her mouth, sucking and licking as their bodies rocked together, her fingers moving slickly inside of her.
The feel of Ash's mouth around one nipple; the wonderful wet warmth and the delicious slide of teeth was amazing, and Shepard whimpered as the tension inside of her grew stronger still. It was like an elastic band was inside of her belly drawing tighter and tighter with every move Ashley made. Each slide of her fingers within her and every flick of her tongue on her nipple built the wave until finally, her body on fire from need, it crashed over her in a crescendo.
Shepard gasped as the pleasure rushed through her body in a release that made her head spin. The ecstasy filled her so completely that she wouldn't have been surprised if her body had come apart at the seams. It was almost too much and she called Ashley's name as she trembled and fell forward, clinging tightly as the blood rushed through her veins.
When the trembling ceased and her heart beat returned to a steadier thump-thump, she found herself curled around Ash on the couch while she gently stroked her back. Their legs were tangled together, and one of her hands was clasped with Ashley's; their fingers intertwined. A warm burst of love swelled inside of her chest, and she let her head rest in the crook of the brunette's neck.
"Why did you wait so long?" she asked eventually as she snuggled closer. "If you still loved me this whole time, why didn't you say something sooner?"
Ash shifted against her and the hand tracing patterns on her back stilled. "I was worried you hated me. I walked away from you on Horizon, I questioned you on Mars and almost shot you on the Citadel." Her voice cracked a little as she spoke, and Shepard tightened her arms around her. "I did everything wrong. When you let me join you again, well, I couldn't believe it was for the reason I wanted."
"You must have known how I felt about you." Shepard nuzzled her neck and kissed behind her ear. "Every time our eyes met I blushed and made an idiot out of myself."
Ashley chuckled at this and relaxed again. "Well, I might have had some small inkling that you still liked me, but it still didn't stop me being afraid that you'd turn me down." Her hand drifted up and she ran her fingers through her hair as she added, "I love you, Shepard. Maybe it's cowardly, but I didn't want to say it only to have you throw it in my face and walk away."
She snorted softly and raised her head, smiling down into her beautiful face. "You, Ashley Williams, are an idiot of the highest order if you didn't see how much I loved you every time I looked at you."
"Maybe, but I can still out-minx you any day." Ashley laughed and turned her face up for a kiss, then they snuggled together on the couch, contentedly watching the stars drift by.
A/N - I love a happy ending! I hope you enjoyed it.