SCARS
Mutated, deformed, disfigured, disgusting.
That was how he felt every time he caught a glimpse of the pink flesh that had raised up and marred his body.
The scars he was once more staring at reminded him of his failures and within their reflection was a trip to the past.
He could see Foyet smiling cockily, he could feel himself being stabbed in nine painfully nonlethal places, and he could hear
the taunts of what would soon become of his family. It made him sick.
He felt dirty and vile as time and time again he tried to scrub away those marks, hoping the sensations would leave with them. It was to no avail though for they were as permanent as his guilt. Try as he might he wouldn't be rid of them nor the knowledge that Haley was dead because of him, Foyet had still won. Five years had passed, yet the reaper was still getting his way, he was alone.
"Stop that." Only he wasn't. "Aaron when will you stop doing this to yourself?"
Somehow, somewhere along the way he realized that there was someone who understood. Someone who had been patiently waiting for him to open his eyes and realize this little fact, and when he finally had it was like a light at the end of a very long tunnel. A reprieve to his constant feelings of guilt and depression.
"I know Babe, I'm sorry" Slowly Aaron turned from the hate facing him in the mirror and to arms that were ready to remind him that the world wasn't all bad, that he could still have a decent life in it.
"I know, I understand" Spencer sighed as he pulled his lover in tight. His declaration had nothing to do with Aaron's apology though.
See Spencer had scars too; little blemishes here and there that were just enough to spoil his skin.
In a way it was a shared pain, something that brought them a little closer together, something that made them feel a little less alone. It was easier that way, sharing his imperfections when he knew Spencer was just as hesitant with his own. Only Aaron didn't see them that way. The outlines of a strap across his foot, the rubbery shine of a knee that ached in the wind and rain and cold, a freshly blazon trail along the neck, and the tiny little discolored marks that speckled his inner arms; they all spoke of perseverance.
"Just remember" He smiled as Spencer placed a kiss to his hair. It was endearing how protective Spencer could be. "Even reminders fade."
Those words soon caused Aaron to frown though. "I hope not"
"Why?" A furrowed brow clearly said Spencer didn't understand.
"Because..." Though his scars often left him feeling tainted Spencer's reminded him of their triumph. They were victors and every time he ran his fingers along tarnished skin he was reminded that they had been put to the test... And they had survived. Spencer's resilience was eye opening and every time Spencer kissed or caressed one of the lesions on his torso he came a little bit closer to cementing the idea in his mind that Foyet hadn't really gained anything. He had done his worst and it had been for not. In fact it was at times like these when he was at his weakest, held together by Spencer's strength that he realized just how much he had really won. "I don't ever want to forget."
"What would you forget?" Spencer pulled away in search of understanding.
"What you remind me of every day." He wasn't scared of showing the sincerity he felt.
"And that would be?" Spencer pushed a suddenly nervous hand through curly hair.
Aaron simply smiled at the suddenly shy attitude. It was hard to think that such a harmless man had suffered so much, yet that was exactly why he was such a good reminder. "Just how strong you are."
Because despite it all they had indeed won.