ROSE GARDEN

And I haven't learned love in my life ... is it this what is missing in my life? Love? What am I in the world for if I don't get any acceptance nowhere anyway? If nobody takes me just like I am, where will my way lead me then?

I have run, very long, caught in this darkness for a long time. Until HE came I had thought that no one in this world would accept me. Therefore I trust him.

And I haven't felt any warmth for an enternity and then for a further...is this what is missing in my life? Somebody that I can hold in my arms? I lack HIM! The one who has touched my heart like this, my precious soul in its very core. So much that I can never let him off again, otherwise I would die, otherwise I would stop breathing, existing.

We both apparently need love ... the feeling, that gives us a support, a meaning, for what we are in the world. Ironically enough, nobody was ready to love us without harming us.

I have loved my parents and still I harmed them, with powers that I didn't know of... they hated me for this and from then on I always remained alone. I have felt well only at him, as if I were something again and but I could not quite get rid of this thought, this feeling that he hides a secret from me. Even asked about it I didn't want to confess it to me. Not wanted to admit to me that he only wanted to take advantage of me, what kind of aims he might have planned. Did he want to really use only my strengths? But for what and would he really do it, why has he been so nice and kind to me then? He has picked the hair of my shoulder and stroked the hair out of my forehead, has taken down the mask from my face when he stood opposite to me. Ha, what du you know if you tell me that he would only use me, do you really know me, do you really know who I am, do you really know how much I have to suffer under that sign? This sign, it has marked me, my whole goddamn life long. It has made me an outsider from the day on which it appeared on my right forearm. Because from there the people pointed the finger at me and called me a witch. At first this injured me, but then... someday I got used to it and got no matter to me in view of that I enjoyed now if I could damage them sometime. Yes,to see them suffer gave me satisfaction, all who refused me, they would feel my rage, my mourning and my sorrow. Because beautiful roses, they also have thorns... and a dark garden, it takes your life and grows by your power. By taking away the most precious from you, just like the most precious was taken away from me.

Similarly like you I also have suffered. I know very well the sorrow and similar like you have suffered, I have also suffered. I have loved him and he was everything in my life because otherwise nothing would have remained for me. I was different at the time and when I talk about another time, then I mean a different life with that. At that time when everything was still peaceful and had a meaning. The time before the great catastrophes came and destiny hadn't taken his run yet. Atime when I was still happy together with the one I loved. But I was then drawn. Not by a sign, like you, but I also got powers which others feared. I wasn't called any witch, everyone called me a monster. And I also had become this, proverbial and I still are because the signs of death alone weren't capable of taking these scars which I had even voluntarily taken on me. Because I wanted to have these strengths to protect my lover. From a dark power, which in the end managed to take away, for what I have lived, just like your dark garden. I wanted to see him again, wanted to do everything for this. We have sworn not less than eternal love to each other, I had to find him back again, even if it would never be possible... I wandered like you, restless, aimless without every sense of time but not like you through the streets or places of the earth. My restlessness was as endless as the empty room of the universe in which one can lose himself more easily instead of finding to himself again. I found him sometime but I was then violated by him and the endlessness had got me back. Like you I was wondering what I had made wrong. I only wanted to be with him, everything I wanted was his love. I suffered, I suffered infinite pains because nothing is worse as if one is lonesome and alone. You know this feeling. Very good even. You know how it is like it to be sworn and avoided. And you have found a taste at the sorrow of others perhaps out of despair to this that you long for love. And if it really is like that, then we are even more alike. Because I also love the suffering. How very much it has excited me when I have seen like tears ran down from the cheeks of the rebirth of my lover. At moments like these I thought that I have him again, him and his love. All my suffering had a meaning and my love of him lay in secret in his pain. Just like a lovely rose can hide herself behind thorn bushes. A rose, as beautiful as it is, she will never be able to lose her thorns. It is so similar also with us. If we are them, these roses... if we are them, then we will never lose these scars, you your sign and I my existence as a monster. You your power and I mine.

We then are like a rose garden. A dark garden, quietly and quiet, and still cries are coming out from her. If we want to be freed out of our pains, then we can never be sure that somebody hears and hears us. And, if somebody comes anyway, will he survive it and not go missing in the midst of these thorn tendrils? Will he not hurt himself and bleed to death at the rips which the thorns have torn into his body?

Can we think to trusting in the world to this that there still are good people? To this, that there still is true love? Perhaps not and but perhaps yes...

We see a garden full of roses and darkness nurses her. As much as we deny what we desire, we are not able to conceal our wishes behind a mask.

We suffer, we shout, we bleed, we want to be saved, long for it with a whole heart. Hidden behind a wall of thorny roses we wait on this, that somebody comes and takes us the poison away, that seems to eat everything away, und still gives us enough strength so that we grow further. Ironic, what gives us strenght, at the same time weakens us... and even though we are alone, we are strong, but the question arises: how long still? How long will last for it till this garden fades? Do we and, if she has faded, will be able to bear the first arising sunbeams which then shine us into the face?

Perhaps, perhaps not. Only one thing is certain. We are dark roses captured and local and used to the darkness of our garden, the wall around us, around our bodies as around our hearts. We are like two roses, like two red roses, watered in our own sorrow.

Will we be able to live if the sorrow is taken by us? Will it be possible that it ever will be taken away from us?

Who will come to save us? But perhaps we have, at the end of the world, when the fire engulfs and eridcates us all, only us, only each other.

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Authors note:

Okay, this is a monologue like fanfiction for „Roseshipping", a pairing of Yubel x Aki that I invented. Okay, some of you might think this is crazy, but then think again at how much they both have in common. There is a bitter sorrow in both of them, they both like to inflict pain to others, they both like plants, especially roses, and they both had a past full of sorrow.

The episodes when Aki fought with Yusei and with the black garden and the talk aout destruction and lonelyness, I had to think about Yubel suddenly, realizing, that she has made similiar experiences.

This text is what came into my head then.

Note that each part is said by another of the two persons, the first part said by Aki, the second by Yubel, then the third by both of them, and then Aki continues and so it goes on.

I would like to get a few reviews on it, and hope that you all enjoy reading it.

It has been written in German originally and then translated into english. I do not own GX or 5Ds.