Part 1: Emerald and Amethyst
Chapter 1: No Letting go
It had been three years… three, long, years… But the time frame between them seemed almost irrelevant as Kira looked back at his bleak past; nothing important, nothing special, maybe, perhaps the word for it was just that: Nothing. No, it was the day before those years that Kira could still remember, not clearly, no, that was, perhaps, what made those three years seem so long… He had worked so hard to scrub out the memory of those painful weeks. Yet he could still remember those words… those, memorizing emerald green eyes… that girl.
"Kira, you know you're my best friend?" He had spoken so silently, his eyes trained on a moving car on the other side of the glass behind Kira. His practically flawless complexion blank; the boy's emerald eyes showing no sign of the previous affection they once held. 'A long time ago.' Kira recalled idly, when they were friends…
Back then they were so happy, everything was so full of life… full of promise… full of love. But it had all changed in the space of four years. It had changed so much- Kira had so foolishly fallen into the conversation he wished he never heard.
"Marriage."
That was what he had said—and a number of other things inapposite to the main topic of concern. But marriage? He had chosen… chosen somebody else.
It was a Sunday. He could remember that much, a Sunday... not which particular Sunday, not what hour… just, Sunday. And perhaps, out of vague recollection, it had also been spring.
The flowers.
He could definitely remember those; Pastel purples and pinks… white too, scattering the still unthawed ground, like the discarded papers of some careless student's first exam.
Heartbreak.
Tears.
Hurt.
Pain.
But not physical pain… no, emotional pain, the kind of pain that reached down so deep into his heart that not even the strongest pair of pliers could force it to budge. Kira had tried, on countless occasions, yet the endless struggle to forget soon became futile. His efforts producing nothing but a damp mound of relentless sorrow.
When you've found them… the one person you will love forever, what do you do if they don't love you back?
You just keep fighting I suppose.
Pink hair, a soothing voice. The sweet songstresses words had subdued him. But only for a little while. The calming moments he had spent with her soon became idle and increasingly annoying. Before long her intoxicating singsong lyrics only made the hurt more searing. Lacus's words of comfort began to suffocate him in to a relentless depression and seclusion. He supposed, it could be viewed from another's eyes, that the pink princess was partly at fault for his present situation.
Was he the only one?
Why him then?
The boy with emerald eyes, the girl with gold for hair, both of them smiling, both of them… so… in love.
Love.
Kira laughed half-heartedly, his voice ringing hollow in the remorseful air of his darkened apartment.
What is love?
The question that had haunted him for so many years -since that Sunday- now arose once more; up to the surface, like bubbles from the bottom of a shifting creek.
Why me?
Why him?
Why did they even meet? Was he destined for such sorrow? Or was this just some kind of sadistic payback for what he had done; the lives that he had taken?
Nothing was certain.
But one thing, yes, one thing was… Kira was sure of only one thing; the one piece of information that kept him even half-sane. That one, vital, piece that assured him he was not completely at fault, that he alone did not bring this upon himself.
"Nobody can help how they feel, Kira."
He was sure, so sure that the raw reality of his awareness hurt. It hurt him so much, as if a sharpened knife was being gored into his already wounded heart.
Kira was sure that he loved the boy with emeralds for eyes. He was sure of that. As sure as he was of living, Kira knew he loved him… and he would never stop… no, he had already tried that. Kira wished it were different. That maybe, he could forget him. Like he had others. The hateful redhead, the beautiful songstress… but no, not him… he was "the one", the one who held his heart captive and refused to release it, no matter what, if not on purpose then on a subconscious level. Kira knew it, and he was sure he did too. The truth was too obvious to ignore. Lingering with every followed footstep, with every caught breath, with every averted gaze, Kira was bound to the truth with heavy limbs and gigantic chains. And he held the key… the key to Kira's heart that he would never give up. Kira was trapped in a painful rut that was growing deeper and far more oppressing with each passing day. And the one he loved so dearly was the one who held the power to free him.
But he wouldn't, Kira knew that he never would. For the man he loved, loved another… The man he loved wasAthrun Zalaand the other…? Cagali Yula Athha… his sister.