How Long Will They Mourn Me?
I closed my eyes leaning against the rough bark of my favorite old tree in City Park. Breathing in the last of my long day, I reached into my jacket pulling a pack of cigarettes from within. It was warm. I took one out from the cluster with only a few missing. I Know better than smoking these but they were Wolfgang's. Might as well finish em' since he left us. Gunned down in cold blood over that bitch that got him killed.
I held it softly between my lips lighting it with a zippo lighter I had. Inhaling the smoke. "You told me and Gerald you weren't gonna leave us man." I chuckled as I watched the orange ember glow from the other end matching the sunset before me. Ever since he died last week I've been finding myself watching sunsets lately.
It wasn't a calming feel that didn't sooth my sanity that threatened to slip each passing day. But the memories we had just chilling here or at his pad that keep me sane. He, Lorenzo, and Gerald are the only ones that I titled as a brother and now that he's gone is an indescribable feeling. Knowing that a close friend you considered a brother is dead, and the way he went out. Gunned down execution style, left to bleed out on an empty sidewalk is fucked up. I looked up at the sky for answers.
The sky had an orange haze just above the horizon, as if it had been set on fire. The haze so crisp and clear, so full of life even though fire itself brought destruction. The sun was hanging low and strong as it was giving a wave goodbye, partially cloaked by clouds. Splashing out it warm haze of colors of hot pink and orange. I closed my eyes once more, wanting to know the reason why he left us all.
Just wanting to know the answers why he chose to take Wolfgang and not the wicked. He wasn't a gang banger, or someone capable of harm he was jus- just himself. He never really wronged anybody or steered one into a dark path. He was just himself, and in and instance he was gone. But why? Why him and not me? By the time I opened my eyes the sun was gone.
Leaving behind a sea of darkness, with lonely clouds strewn across the twilight sky. With stars speckled and dashed bit by bit. Being thrown around from the heavens above. I flicked away of what was left of my cigarette, and brushed my nose as it got noticeably colder as I whispered "Farewell."
I leaned off the tree knowing I had to leave, walking down the grassy fields of the once dull and dreadful park that once inhibited these lands. Ducking underneath the thick pine trees branches and brush heading towards the sidewalk where Lorenzo stood by looking up at the sky underneath a streetlight near his ride.
A cool breeze just passed as I had walked on feeling a human like touch on my shoulder. I turned slightly to my right only seeing it was a branch. "We all live in a fucked up world." I whispered. I stopped to think, closing my eyes once more running the days events in my mind like a reel. We both got in the car, and drove off. "We're suppose to meet Gerald and some of the gang at his old house for a party." He spoke.
I didn't really pay much attention, all I could think of is just torturing that piece of shit. Making sure his bloodline dies with him. I shifted my gaze at the mirror, thinking about her.
She always told me to stop daydreaming, the sound of her words just echoes within. "You ready man?" Lorenzo asked as he looked at his rearview mirror silently mourning a brother. I sat there silently watching as the trees and buildings whizzed by as did the people. Listening to the glass bottles of forties clinked and clanked between my legs. I Nodded against the window slouched against my seat in the silent night to his question I left unanswered.
"You know," Lorenzo trailed off as he tried to concentrate on the road. "we're gonna find him just- try not to think about it too much. Just speak lightly and always carry a big stick." He said in his laid back way as we parked right of front of Geralds old house. Where the fences sagged forward or backwards and the paint blistered houses. "We're here man." He said as the engine has died down as did the headlights. We both made our way inside. Greeting people with his and hellos and by handshakes and gentle nods.
It was dark a good handful of people was already outside drinking the night away. Today there wasn't much to it, just chill and keep an eye out for drivebys. The majority of the people was either black, white, asian, or latino. Just giving their condolences to a good homie. They weren't gang affiliates or dealers just cool people we all knew at school.
But what were good kids doing in such a bad part of the town? I guess just to pay their respects to Wolfgang. They didn't care if that made their a target with a freshly painted bullseye on your back. No one did. There was no time when someone pointed a finger at you in a parking lot of a gas station or at liquor. There was no time to tell them if you were a father with a son that just turned two. These pieces of shit didn't care.
Within seconds I spotted Gerald with Chloe in the kitchen leaning onto the counter. With her backside of her body brushing up against his. They- ... looked happy. While Sid played beer pong with Stinky as Peapod kid watched in awe.
"Arnold?" A small voice whispered, it used to sound so demanding, so sincere and yet so stuck up. Now its sweet and sickly enough to give the person cavities.