I own nothing. All mistakes are mine. Spoilers for Girls Gone Wilder. This is unbetaed so all mistakes are mine. I hope you all enjoy this.
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He clipped the visitor's badge on as he made a beeline down the hall. Not typically an outwardly emotional man, he was all too willing to make an exception in this case. Well, perhaps "willing" wasn't the correct term, but he was passed the point of caring much about control.
He'd had one; no, two purposes, in mind since his mother had drawn his attention to the news a little under an hour ago and he fully intended to fulfill both before the next hour passed.
Ignoring the astonished, disbelieving looks and the calls of surprised greetings being cast his way as he stormed passed glass window after glass window, he turned a well known corner and headed straight for the closed door marked "Sheriff Ecklie". He was prepared to burst through said door, ignoring the secretary completely as she sat open mouthed at the abrupt intrusion, when the voice of the very man he was looking for broke through his thoughts.
"May I help you?" Conrad Ecklie asked to the back of the man obviously intending to waltz right into his office unanounced.
His secretary began to explain that she'd not had a chance to inquire as to what the man's purpose was or who he was, but her explanation was cut short when the man in question spun on his heel, blue eyes blazing and roared, "What were you thinking, Conrad, letting her stay in a building while two mad men were at large?! She could have been killed!"
Stunned, all Ecklie could do for the moment was stare. He was shaken out of his disbelief when the hulking man took a menacing step in his direction.
"Answer, me! What gives you the right to put my wife's life in danger to solve a case?!" Grissom's hands were clenched at his sides, seething and ready...no, wanting, to deck the man in front of him.
"Grissom...I'd say it's good to see you, but obviously this is not under the appropriate sentiments for such a greeting." He swallowed at the loathing look he received. Raising his hand, he indicated to the door in front of them. "Let's step inside and talk about this, shall we?"
Gilbert Grissom didn't move. Whether it was out of anger or sheer stubborness, he couldn't say. Part of him wanted to reem the man out right here where the whole lab could observe.
The tall, gray haired man standing slightly behind the Sheriff, having been forgotten by the one and unnoticed by the other, stepped forward and cleared his throat. Once he had both men's attention, he calmly looked at the man he'd heard so much about but was meeting for the first time under less than desirable circumstances. "Dr. Grissom, why don't we do as the Sheriff asked and talk about this in private?"
Steel, blue eyes fixed on the stranger. "Who are you and exactly why do I care enough to take your opinion under advisement?"
"I'm DB Russel, Sara's supervisor. I've heard a lot about you, though I had hoped we'd meet under better circumstances. Please, I realize you must be very upset and I can only imagine how you even came to be informed of what happened today, but I can also say that I feel certain there are circumstances you may not be aware of. From what I've heard, you're a man who likes to have all his facts. Why don't we make sure you get those."
"Fine. But I highly doubt you have anything to share that I don't already know, or that will make a difference in my purpose here." Grissom stepped aside. Ecklie moved around him to open the door and stepped inside. Grissom followed with DB. Once inside, DB closed the door behind him.
Once behind his desk, Ecklie sighed and sat. "Listen, Gil, I know what you must-"
"No, Conrad, I sincerely doubt you do-"
Conrad Ecklie slammed his hand upon his desk, "Gil, my daughter was there too, so don't you think for one minute I wasn't scared too!"
"Funny, Conrad, but the media failed to report that there were two CSI's working the case from the inside while SWAT was trying to clear the hotel AND apprehend the shooter...the one they knew about at least. While one of your CSI's, a CSI Finley was trapped in an elevator with another wounded civilian...yeah, they covered it after the fact pretty well. But it was CSI Sidle that they reported was given the go ahead to remain on the scene to work the case while it was still fresh to, and I quote, "assist the LVPD Crime Lab in securing the fastest possible identification of the suspect and insuring a speedy solve time." And then they find out that there was a second shooter?! Completely unrelated, though they had no information to report as to the second shooter's motive at the time, but that didn't stop them from sharing that CSI Sidle was held at gunpoint by the second shooter. How did they put it, "being seconds away from becoming another victim at her own crime scene when the SWAT team arrived just in time to save her life!" he yelled, slamming his own hand down on the desk. "She could've been killed...she almost was killed and for what?! A faster solve rate?!"
"Okay, gentlemen...this isn't getting us anywhere." DB interjected.
"How could you let her stay?" Grissom practically pleaded, the anger morphing suddenly to desperate worry. Regardless of the fact that Sara was safe now, all the thoughts that had overwhelmed him earlier were flooding back.
"Gil, you know Sara. She was determined to help and quite frankly..." Conrad paused, giving thought to the sureness of his next statement. "I've gotten to know Sara a lot better. She's...an outstanding CSI."
Grissom frowned deeply, scowling at the man before him. "She's always been an outstanding CSI, Conrad. I told you that."
"Yes. Yes, you did. But she's also changed. She's still driven but that recklessness...it's not there anymore. I trust her judgement, Gil. That's why I let her stay. I didn't like it, but she assured me that she was being cautious and working with SWAT for information to asses the danger level. There's no way, with the information that she had; that we all had, that she could have known there was a second shooter who was specifically targeting the people on his inquiry team."
Grissom could feel his anger toward Conrad fading. He still hated what could have happened and part of him still railed at the notion that she'd been permitted to remain in an unsafe environment, but he realized that he couldn't hold Conrad responsible. "Where is she? I need to see her, Conrad."
Ecklie gave him a knowing, sympathetic look. "She left. About twenty minutes ago. I would assume she's home."
Grissom nodded and turned to go.
"Gil." He didn't turn but Ecklie proceeded anyway. "She did a good job. You should be proud."
"I've always been proud." he returned softly. "That's not the problem." Without explanation, he disappeared out the door.
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The drive from the lab to her-their-house afforded him no gifts. He'd had too much time to think. This was a mistake. Seeing her was not a good idea. He'd get lost in those eyes; deep, endless chocolate pools. But he longed to see her. Being away from her was torture, had been from the moment he'd truly let her into his life. He had to see her. He had to see for himself that she was alright. It was the only thing that would get all these frightening images of her bloodied and lifeless out of his mind
As one such image flashed through his mind, as if summoned merely by the thought of what could have been, he wrenched open his car door and marched to their front door; his anger renewed. How could she put herself in such a dangerous position?! He pounded on the door. He had no idea what he was going to say-exactly-but that was not going to stop him from giving her an ear full!
Seconds passed and he continued to pound, his frustration mounting right along with his desperation to see her safe and sound.
Sara pulled her head from beneath the shower spray. She cocked her head and listened. She could have sworn she heard something. A thump, maybe? Her heart raced a little at the thought but she distinctly remembered engaging the security system when she came home. Not hearing anything else, she sighed and allowed her head to drop back under the hot, drenching water. It felt so good on her tense muscles after such a long and stressful-terrifying-day. Part of her just wanted to stay in here until the water ran cold, change into her comfiest pj's and crawl into her bed, but she knew Morgan needed her today. She recognized that haunted look in her friend's eyes. After all, she'd seen that same look reflected back at her from the mirror many times in the past. She was thankful that she'd learned how to put that all behind her, otherwise, she feared she'd never be able to do the job now. And other than the job and a few close friends, she didn't have much else these days. "Memories." She thought wistfully, "Beautiful, ageless, memories. If only memories could hold her, kiss her, make love to her and all the other things she missed with him gone."
He raised his hand and pounded again. Where the heck was she? He waited a second and then fumbled through his keys. He was done waiting. Finding the correct one, he shoved it home and turned the key.
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Sara's head popped out from under the water again. There; pounding. Was that her front door? Who would be pounding on her front door? She hastily turned off the water and grabbed a nearby towel, stepping out and hurridly drying off. Her heart leaped in her chest when the alarm system shrieked. Someone was in the house! Wrapping the towel around herself, she swiftly and quietly made her way into the master bedroom where she kept her service weapon. She was about a quarter of the way around the bed when she heard it. A sound that shocked her so intensely she couldn't move.
The alarm startled him and he stopped abruptly beside it, glaring at it. His first thought was to stop the racket but he realized he had no idea what the code was. Having no patience to waste one more instant on the distraction, he started through the house, his eyes scoping each area for her as he instinctively made his way toward their bedroom. "Sara! Sara, where are you?!"
Gil? It couldn't be. He was here? How could he be here? Every other thought left her mind; her weapon, the screeching alarm, the fact that she was naked save for the towel wrapped around her as she made her way toward the entrance of the bedroom.
And then suddenly, he was there...his big frame dominating the doorway, piercing blue eyes flashing with a dozen emotions all at once as he took her in.
"Sara."
His voice was soft but had a tone of relieved desperation that made her heart flutter even more than the glorious sight of him. She drank him in; faded jeans, brown and blue checked shirt. His hair was a bit longer, letting the curls he normally kept more closely cropped reign free, framing his handsome face. And he'd grown his beard back. It was more white then previous years he'd worn it, but he looked amazing just the same. Her stomach clenched a little in excitement. She couldn't help it. She'd always thought he was the most handsome, sexiest man on the planet but that beard added an air of rugged appeal that twisted and turned every womanly part of her inside out.
"Gil, what are you..." she breathed, her voice dieing out as he moved toward her at an alarming speed. There wasn't much distance to begin with, only a few steps, and he closed them in no time at all. Suddenly, she was surrounded by him. His arms enveloped her as he roughly pulled her against his body, holding her close and pressing his face to her damp neck.
"Thank God." he mumbled against her wet skin. His senses were overloaded with her; the smell of her shampoo and body wash, warm, wet skin under his hands and lips. She was here, in his arms. She was alive and she was safe. "Thank God you're alright. When I saw...I was so scared..." he wasn't really aware of any of the words tumbling out of his quivering lips right now, only that he needed her to know...needed her to understand that he would be empty and lost without her.
It dawned on her with a slow revelation what he was saying. Her arms came up as far as possible, given that he practically had her arms pinned to her sides in his crushing hug, and rubbed his sides. "It's okay, Gil. I'm fine. I'm fine, shhh." she soothed, realizing that he was trembling just a little. She tried to reassure him even more. "It wasn't that bad, really. You know how the media ge-"
Without warning, his hands clenched her upper arms and wrenched her away from him. He held her at arms length, a fire in his eyes he couldn't nor did he have any desire to hide from her. "It wasn't that bad?!" he bellowed. "You had a gun in your face! If SWAT hadn't shown up when they did...WHAT were you thinking?!" He didn't mean to, in fact, somewhere in the back of his mind a voice screamed for him to stop, but he felt like a possessed man diven by fear and relief so strong it threatened to shatter him into a million pieces unless he found release, and so he found himself shaking her and shouting, "Have you lost your mind?! You were nearly killed today, Sara! Don't you DARE tell me that it wasn't that bad! It doesn't get much worse than that. Do you-" he gulped for air, "have any idea what it would have done to me if I'd lost you?!" She stared blankly back at him. "Do you?!" he repeated, his voice seemed to reverberate off the walls.
"I need to turn off the alarm." Her voice was calm. Too calm.
He looked at his hands, clutching her upper arms and was shocked to how strongly her gripped her. Startled, he released her quickly. "Sara...I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"I need to take care of the alarm." She turned and left him standing in their bedroom. Seconds later there was nothing but silence. And then he could hear her voice, somewhat muted in the hallway. "No, everything is fine. No need to send the police. It was my husband. He's been out of town on an extended trip and I forgot to tell him the new code. Yes. Yes, thank you."
As soon as she walked back in, he could see the look of confusion on her face...and worst of all doubt. "Sara," he rushed, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so rough, honey. I would never hurt you." The thought that she might be afraid of him tore at his tattered heart. This woman; this brave, beautiful woman, had seen enough violence to last two lifetimes and he'd promised her so long ago that he would never, ever lay an angered hand on her. "Please, honey...you believe me, don't you? I would never hurt you, Sara. Never."
"I believe you, Grissom. I know you'd never physically hurt me." Sara did know. She knew he'd cut out his own heart before he ever raised a hand to her. It was something entirely different and no less important where her doubts lie. It was his other question that had been what shook her to her core. It was the true answer to that which had her trembling inside; hope warring fiercly with fear. She balanced precariously on the knife's sdge of that; of wanting to know and yet being petrified of the answer.
Grissom. She'd stopped calling him that years ago. Not since the first time they'd kissed had she called him by his last name. Oh, for the first few days, Griss would slip out from time to time and of course, when they were working she called him that, but in every other way he had been Gil. He was her Gil. He'd only been Gilbert in a specific tone or Grissom when he was in trouble.
"It's the answer to your first question that I don't know." She interrupted his musings in a soft voice. "That you'll have to answer for me because, up until just a few minutes ago, I thought I did know the answer. I thought you'd go on, be alright. Of course, there would be sadness for better times past, but..." She'd stopped looking at him by now, not able to meet his eyes for so many reasons and willing herself not to ramble on, to not tell him all the ways that she still missed him, longed to touch him, share her day and hear of his, to love him and be loved by him again. Because if she started, she might never stop and she would hold him, beg him to never let go, to never leave her again and right now she just might crumple to the floor, curl up and wait to die of a broken heart if he rejected her again.
"I don't understand." He questioned, reading her body language right now was difficult. She wouldn't meet his eyes and her posture was tense. Her fingers played lightly with the edge of the towel at her sides. All indications that she was nervous...scared even, but she'd just told him that she knew he'd never hurt her. And then what she'd said specifically rushed back to him. Physically. She knew he'd never hurt her physically.
But again, she disturbed his train of thought. "Do I know...do I have any idea what it would have done to you if you'd lost me today?" Searching brown pools met deep blue. "No, I don't know what it would do to you, but then I'm confused as to how you could lose something that you walked away from? Tell me how that works?"
Oh. He vaguely remembered those words from earlier, but the one's that haunted him were said two years ago and over the phone. He really should have anticipated that this would come up. Okay, truth be told, he had anticipated it. How could he show up, out of the blue after two years absent and on a day such as today and not expect that the state of their marriage would worm it's way into conversation. What he hadn't anticipated was how he would explain himself.
"Do you really think after all we've been to each other, that my life wouldn't be devastated without you..." he began.
The look that came over Sara's face at his softly spoken words was not one he had to ponder. She was angry. Scratch that. She was pissed.
"I guess I'd think not, since it was you who took me out of your life!" She spat, all the hurt and anger spewing forth. "We were struggling. I know that, but then you just decide that the best thing for me is to not be with you. We don't discuss it, I don't get a say in the matter...you just decide. And then you barge into my house and demand to know what I was thinking?!"
"Our house." he replied quietly.
"Excuse me?"
"Our house. We're still legally married." he spoke a little more loudly, a touch of anger coloring his tone now. "So legally, this is still my home too."
"Two years! Two years I've had to live alone, in OUR house because you decided you didn't want me anymore. Well now you have what you wanted. You got a taste of the forbidden fruit, found yourself a carefree vagabond career and living the dream, so you don't get to storm back into my life and start demanding things like the husband I've missed every day for the last two years! Get out, Grissom or I'll call the police and you can explain this all to them!"
Indignation flared in his eyes at her command and he took a step forward, only to freeze when her eyes clouded with tears as she sobbed, "Just leave and get it over with."
His mouth opened and closed like a fish. And he was right back to a time before they started dating. He stood before her wanting desperately to say all the words in his heart but seemingly unable to get them past his lips. He nodded and turned away, slowly making the trek out of their bedroom. He jumped a little when her cell chirped, breaking the pressing silence that surrounded them after her last tearful outburst.
"Sidle." He heard her valiant effort to hide the emotion in her voice. "Hey, Greg." He stopped on the other side of the door, just around the corner in the hall. He knew he should leave. Really, he had no business being here. She was right. He had made a decision and he'd done it all by himself. "No, I'm still coming...I...um, just lost track of time and I need...a little more time. Yeah. The day's catching up with me."
Her return to Vegas was supposed to be temporary. But she'd stayed and seemed to be settling in. They bought the new house as a home base, but she'd still planned on coming to him. But she hadn't...and she hadn't asked him to come home either. So he'd assumed-she didn't need him. But as he listened to his wife struggle to keep the tears from being heard, he realized what she'd said. She had missed him...in their home. She missed him. You don't miss someone you don't need, do you?
Reckless hope surged through him. He could fix this? He could fix this! He spun around and marched back through their bedroom door, a determined look in his eyes. He registered the look of shock on her face as he approached. She sat on their bed, the same King sized bed he's bought three months before they started dating. The same bed they's made love in the first time.
"What are you..." she stammered as he drew up to her.
Reaching out, Grissom took the phone from her. "Greg? Grissom. Sara's going to be a little late getting there. There are a few things we have to get straightened out. Bye." He ended the call before the young CSI even had a chance to respond.
"What are you..." Again, it was all the farther she got before he lifted her to her feet.
"I am not leaving. We are going to talk about this before either one of us goes one more minute assuming anything, but first and foremost-" he cupped her face between both of his large hands, tilting her head up. He closed his eyes, leaned forward and covered her lips with his. The kiss began softly, giving her the option to pull away if that was what she really wanted. She remained still, not participating but not moving to end it either. He took this as a sign and parted his lips, his tongue peeking out to run across her bottom lip. One hand let go of her face to travel down to her waist while the other slide down her neck and around to tangle in the nest of soft, damp hair. When she let out the smallest of whimpers and he felt her press into the kiss, he tugged her against him and deepened the kiss. With a moan of his own, he opened his mouth and allowed his tongue to play a little more aggressively. Her tongue darted out, sweeping over his and he growled, closing his lips over her bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth. The heat between them rose as the kiss became more passionate and his whole body went on alert when he felt her fingers curl into his hair, carding and kneeding his scalp the way he loved. When air became a necessity, they pulled apart and he took in the beautiful sight before him. His wife with her kiss swollen lips and lust hazed, chocolate eyes staring back at him. "I love you. I made a terrible mistake, but I am not leaving here until I correct it."
His thumbs caressed her cheeks. His eyes and voice were tender and filled with remorse. "Not one more day, Sara. Not one more day without you." They needed to talk, he knew that. Specifically, he needed to talk but he couldn't resist the siren call of those sweet lips and he moved to take them again when his phone rang. With a groan of disapproval, he jerked it from his hip to check the caller ID. Mom flashed at him. Apologetic eyes looked back at her as he mumbled, "Your mother in law has impeccable timing." He flipped the phone open and waited for the operator. "Hi, mom. Yes, she's fine. Yes, I'm sure. Mother, she is standing in front of me and I assure you she's okay."
Sara felt rather exposed at the moment, standing there in only a towel. She backed out of his one armed embrace, earning a scowl from him as he tightened his grip and tried to keep her where she was. But, she easily slipped out by twisting a bit to the side and mouthed, "talk to your mother" before walking to her closet. She listened as he reiterated that she was okay. She began to dress and smiled again as Grissom's frustrated voice drifted to her ears again. "We have some things we need to talk about. Yes, mom. I'll call you later."
She emerged from the closet, fully clothed save for her shoes. "Betty alright?"
"Yes. She saw the news earlier and was concerned for you." He took in her appearance. "Why did you get dressed?"
"Because I'm meeting Morgan and apparently Greg too. She's having a hard time with what happened. She lost a friend." she explained simply. Truth be told, Sara was slightly overwhelmed by the course of recent events, not to mention that kiss. She needed a little time to process.
"Sara." He tried to hold back the exasperation he was feeling. He'd been with this woman too long not to recognize her avoidance tactics. "I thought we were going to talk."
"We will." Sh sat on the edge of the bed and put on her shoes. "Gil, I need some time, alright. And I need to meet Morgan and Greg." She got up and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Grissom looked around their room. He'd only spent one weekend here since the time they bought the house. He walked slowly around the rather large room, taking in Sara's taste in decor. He was a lucky man in that he'd married a woman with simple taste. He stopped in front of the dresser on the far wall where a framed picture of them sat amongst a collection of seashells from a beach they'd spent a long weekend at to celebrate dating a year. He couldn't let this opportunity slip away.
She found him sitting on the bed when she came out.
"Are you meeting them for dinner?" he asked simply.
"A new club on the strip, Talc. Finn got the three of us tickets for tonight but she's staying with a friend who was injured. I guess Greg is using her ticket."
"Do you have shift tonight?"
"No."
"So, can we talk later tonight then?"
His deep blue eyes searched hers, pleading for some leeway. Leeway she wanted to give, but fear took hold. She'd spent the better part of her adult life loving this man and just when he'd let her in and she'd grown to depend on them, he ran again. She knew without a doubt that she'd love him for the rest of her natural life, but she didn't think her heart to survive one more crushing blow from him. She still didn't know what she'd done to make him leave her this last time. And now, here he was, out of the blue telling her he'd made a mistake and that he still loves her. "Gil, I don't know." She held up her hand when he rose and started to plead his case. "We can talk. I just don't know if I have it in me to do it tonight."
He nodded curtly. "I guess I should let you get going. I've made you late enough." He approached her and stopped right in front of her. With a tilt of his head he leaned in and kissed her cheek. He paused and lifted his head so he was speaking directly into her ear. "I meant what I said earlier, Sara. Be safe tonight." He kissed her again and walked out.
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She refused to let herself think about it as she drove. The only problem was that it was impossible not to think about. What was happening with them was either her dream come true or the final straw in the end. She arrived in the parking lot of the club and parked. Taking a moment for herself, Sara leaned her tired head against her window and drew in a slow breath. "Okay." began the pep talk. "Go in there and relax. Help Morgan. Let Greg make you laugh. Have a few drinks. Unwind. Talk to your husband tomorrow when your not scared to death that the next words out of either of your mouths might end the only real love and happiness you've ever known or needed. Yeah." She laughed bitterly. "No pressure."
With a sigh, she gathered her strength and got out of the car.
The club was loud, lights flashing to a thumping beat, but at least it wasn't smokey. For that, she was thankful that the owners had obviously chosen to enforce a no smoking policy. Handing over her ticket to a hulking redhead that she'd bet dollars to donuts was Irish, she scanned the upper balcony for her friends. Toward the back corner she saw Morgan and Greg wave. She was glad she'd thought to text Greg on her walk across the large parking lot. By the way they were leaning toward the railing, she could tell that the table sat a space away from the rail, keeping tipsy club goers from easily taking a plunge onto the expansive bar below. It would have been nearly impossible for her to see them from below if they hadn't been looking for her. Just as she waved to them, Morgan held up a bright pink drink in a long stemmed glass, pointed at it and then down at her, indicating that her first drink was taken care of.
It seemed to take forever to wind through the throng of people and make her way upstairs and to their table. But, eventually she was there, Morgan smiling at her and Greg popped up to offer his seat beside Morgan for her. She gladly accepted the seat and the one armed hug he gave her before he grabbed another chair and plopped himself down at the only space left at the small table.
"You don't have to work tonight?" She called over the din to Greg.
He shrugged. "Yeah, but s'okay. A few club soda's with cranberry and an evening out with my favorite beautiful ladies makes it all worthwhile. I figure I can get a few hours here and head in."
"Planning on sleeping anywhere in between, Greggo?" she teased.
His face was serious when he reached across the table and put it over hers. "I can sleep tomorrow. Tonight I want to be with you and Morgan." Words weren't needed for him to express just how thankful he was that they were both sitting here tonight.
Sara squeezed his hand in return. She gave him a bright smile and turned to Morgan, raising her voice to be heard again. "What did you get me?" she asked, sliding the glass toward her.
Morgan grinned wickedly. "It's a Screaming Lady of the Night. I used to drink these all the time in college. You'll love it!" She picked up her own identical glass and clinked it with Sara's before they both took a drink.
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Down below, he sat in the back shadows of the bar, nursing a Scotch and watching them surreptiously. He still couldn't believe how lucky he'd been. First, in that Catherine had been available to take his call and second, that she was able to use her contacts to get him into the fairly new club without him having to answer a thousand grueling questions past, "I screwed up with Sara and I need to fix it before I lose her completely." This had been explanation enough for his friend, though he had no illusions that he wouldn't have to answer all her questions in detail at a later date.
Thankfully, he had a tablet and pen in his briefcase in the car. If he'd had to stop somewhere to make purchases, he was afraid he may have arrived after Sara and risked being spotted before he was ready. As it were, he unfolded the letter and resumed; after all, he was always better in writing his feelings than in saying them. Though he knew this letter was only a start. He would need to talk and continue talking if he was going to salvage the most important relationship of his life.
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"So...ah, Grissom?" Greg hedged. Almost immediately, he jumped with a yelp. "Ow, Morgan! Geez!"
"What happened to not saying anything and letting her bring it up if she wanted to talk about it?!" Morgan glared.
"Because this is Sara and if I wait for her to bring it up when she wants to talk about it, I'll be waiting forever. And she knows I love her and want her to be happy and that something of this magnitude cannot go unasked." Greg explained while bent over, massaging his assaulted shin.
"Something of this magnitude?" Sara repeated.
"Sara..." came his disbelieving reply. "Grissom's here. In your house here. Butting into phone conversations here...in your house."
"I think we've established that Grissom is here and that he was at the house, Greg, yes."
"How? Why?" he prodded.
"Because I would imagine he remembers where it is and how to drive." She ignored the look she was getting from her old friend, "And because he saw the news about the shooting and came over to..." Here she stumbled, unsure exactly how to clarify the snowball scenario her husband's abrupt visit had instigated.
"Came over to?" Greg twirled his hand in the air, coaxing her on. When all he recived was a puzzled look, he offered a few suggestions, "Make sure you were okay? Tell you you're crazy? Tell you he can't live without you? Tell you he's gay and that's the reason he left?"
"Yes. Yes. Kind of. Definitely no." she answered simply, taking a slow sip of her drink.
Greg went over the progression in his mind. A small smile graced his lips when it registered. "Kind of?"
"Yes. Kind of...more or less." She toyed nervously with her drink. "I just...Greg," she sighed. "I need some down time to process it, okay." She looked at him imploringly. "Please."
"Yeah. Okay, Sar." he said softly. Once more he reached out and gave her a hand a little squeeze. "But either way, this is good. Nothing sucks like limbo."
She shrugged, knowing he was right.
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He sat back, reading over the words penned to paper. Hoping with all his heart this would be the gate to a new start. He looked up when the waitress he was looking for crossed near. "Miss." he called. The short, redhead turned with a smile and walked to him.
"Hey, sweetie. What can I get ya?"
"Nothing for me thank you. But, you delivered drinks to the group upstairs in the corner. A couple pink drinks..." he hoped to jog her memory since she more than likely had delivered quite a few drinks.
"Blonde girl, brunette and a seriously hunky guy?"
"Yes, that's the group. I'd like to send a bottle of Champagne and this note to that table, please." He slid the letter into an envelope and sealed it, scrawling "Sara G." on the front, and handed it to the waitress along with the money for the bottle and a generous tip.
She took them and smiled. "Sure thing, honey. I'll get that right away."
"Thank you." He waited patiently, watching until they'd been delivered. He could see the surprised look on Sara's face as she took the letter. He got up and descreetly made his way to the exit. All he could do now was pray and wait.
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Sara could feel her companions eyes on her as she fingered the envelope with the familiar handwriting. She looked over the floor below but didn't see him.
"Gonna open that?" Greg asked.
"I guess I should." she answered.
"Want us to give you some privacy?" asked Morgan.
"No, that's alright. Just keep an eye on that one and make sure he doesn't read over my shoulder." She joked halfheartedly. Her heart was pounding as she slid her finger along the flap. What if he was saying this was a mistake? What if he was saying goodbye for good?
My Beautiful Sara,
Is it too presumptious to call you that? Mine. In my heart, I haven't been able to convince myself that you aren't. No apology will ever suffice for the pain I've caused to you. All I can offer in consolation is an explanation and a promise. The explanation, in its simplest form is fear. Unfortunately, an emotion from me that you're all too familiar with.
Our seperation was only to be temporary. You were going to help the team out for a short time, find some closure for the way you left and make amends with our family. And then you stayed. I lived for our visits and I should have talked with you about it when it first began, my love, but you seemed happy and I didn't want to take that from you. You were enjoying your work again and I loved seeing that fire in your eyes for it again. But, I wasn't happy with the distance between us. I longed to hold you in my arms as you nestled in to sleep at night; to feel your body stretch against mine as you woke. I missed your face across from mine at the breakfast table, to hear your sweet laugh echo through our home. I missed you so much, Sara and I should have told you that every day that we were apart.
I believed that you were happy here, in Vegas again. I believed you were happy without me. Foolishly, I believed that, perhaps, you had found the life that you truly wanted and I wasn't needed. My oldest fear seized me once again. That you had come to realize that you didn't need a tired, old entomologist holding you back with his end of life adventures. I believed that the kindest thing I could do for you was to let you go. It was meant to be a loving gesture, to set free that which I love and hold most dear. But I was afraid, Sara. I was scared to death that your staying meant that you weren't in love with me any more and that you wanted to stay where you were happiest. I couldn't bear the thought of you finally working up the courage to tell me outright, and so I let you go in the name of your best interest.
I was a coward and now, I fear something even greater...that I may finally be too late. Am I, my love?
Watching you tonight, all I wanted to do was walk up those stairs, tell you what a colossal fool I've been, that I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone, take you in my arms and never, ever let you go again. But, I know you need and deserve more than that.
I want us, Sara. Every day, for the rest of my life, I want us. I will fight for you. I will do whatever you need to earn the trust I threw away so foolishly, if only you're willing to give me one last chance. I'm undeserving of it, I know. In all honesty, sweetheart, you're the one who's done all the heavy lifting in our relationship. But, I can change that, honey. I want to change that. I don't care where we are or what we do, as long as I'm with you, I'm home. Please, my love, give me one more chance to prove it to you.
I love you. No matter what your decision, know this. My promise to you; I will love you until the day I draw life's last breath, whether it be heaven by your side or a thousand miles away; whether you remain mine or happily with someone else, I am yours.
I'm staying at my mother's. I can't tell you how much I pray you'll call, Sara. Enjoy this night with Morgan and Greg. Know that even though you scared the life from me, I am so very, very proud of you.
Love,
Gil
She didn't even notice the tears streaking down her face anymore, as she folded the letter abck up and placed it back in the envelope. She simply closed her fingers around it and let her eyes fall shut as the gravity of his words permeated to her heart and soul. "Guys, " she said with a shaky breath, "I have to..."
"Need a ride?" Greg interrupted softly, smiling at her with love and understanding when she looked up.
She glanced back at her half empty glass. "No. I'm good." She turned sorrowful eyes on Morgan.
Morgan smiled and laughed. "Please, girl, don't you dare apologize. I will be just fine. Greg's gonna take good care of me, but there's somewhere else you need to be. Go!" She laughed, giving Sara an encouraging shove to her shoulder. "Go get your guy!"
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Sara parked on the street outside her mother -in- law's house, took a deep breath and jumped out of the car. She had no idea what she was going to say, only that she wasn't willing to let him go. Not now. Not ever.
Grissom came out of his thoughts when he heard the car door slam. He'd been sitting in his car, thinking...hoping, unable to will himself to go inside. He knew his mother would have questions but the only person he wanted to answer anything to right now was Sara. And suddenly, the very person he hoped to see went hurrying past his window.
"Sara!"
She turned, almost to the front sidewalk when she heard her name behind her. There he was, standing by his car. She still had no idea what to say but she closed the distance between them quickly.
Quite surprisingly and without a word, he found himself pushed back against his car with his arms blessedly full of his wife and her lips hungrily devouring his own. Everything but this moment ceased to matter or exist as he pulled her more tightly to him and returned her passionate kiss. Her hands were in his hair, his returned the favor. Tongues met, caressing, tasteing...speaking of love, desire and promise. When breath became imparitive, they broke apart, but her lips trailed softly over his cheek and then on to his throat as she murmured soft words he couldn't hear but understood without trying. God had given him his last chance and he wouldn't squander it.
He hugged her against him. "So sorry, honey. I'm so sorry. Never let you go again, I swear. Love you, Sara...love you so much, honey." he whispered, over and over as he felt her warm tears on his neck.
"You're such an idiot." she chided, softly through her sobs. "How could you ever think I didn't need you? That I could ever be happier without you?"
"So sorry, honey." he whispered again. "I wanna come home."
She pulled back, looking into his eyes, smiling just a little now and nodded. "Welcome home, Gil."
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This was meant to be a short one shot, emphasis on the short, but it turned into something much longer. I actually have ideas for a continuation but wanted to post this and see how it was received. If you'd like a continuation, please review and let me know. Thanks to everyone who is reading.