Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Plotline is.
Date: Oct. 11th 2008
Author: glrox a.k.a. Roxanne
Merry Bloody Christmas Remus Lupin: Remus doesn't think his life could get worse. Finding out he was gay made it worse. Finding out he had a crush on his best mate made it even worse. To top it all off, he has the flu on Christmas. Sirius/Remus SLASH. Warnings: Slash, boy love, kissing.
Notes: Everyone loves a good RL/SB fic, and if you don't, well you wouldn't be reading this. I just wanted to write some more fluff. Nothing serious, just my babies as they should be. Marauder era.
Remus didn't think that the cosmos could hate him so badly. Or fate, or destiny, or God, or whatever powers that be. He/She/They/It not only made him a werewolf, but also made him gay. How much did someone up there (or down there as the case may be) hate him to make him this way? He was starting to wonder about those bad luck fairies from muggle myths. His bad luck fairy was more like a bad luck Blast-ended Skrewt.
It couldn't have gotten any worse. So he thought. Oh, how he wished he hadn't jinxed himself like that. It can't get much worse than this, he told himself, as he had been miserably huddling in the bathroom, hiding from the rest of the world after he had caught himself watching James and Sirius walk off the field after Quidditch all sweaty and glowing and slapping each other on the back or the rear in some cases. He hadn't just been watching...he'd been entranced.
But no...it was slated to get much worse, he discovered. Sirius had come to find him after Peter had snitched on where he was. Thankfully he'd taken a shower, but that just meant that he was glistening a bit from the water and his hair was all floppy and in his eyes and Remus had a hell of a time not imagining him bathing. A hell of a time.
"Moony?" He called out, and the dirty blond had looked up frantically, standing and straightening himself out and smoothing down his hair. Like a girl, he scolded himself, before he opened the stall and left, giving Sirius a half-hearted smile.
"Hey." He said casually, and Sirius had looked up, half-expectant, half-worried.
"Remus...you okay?" He asked softly, looking him up and down like he expected there to be something wrong with him. Like sprouting fur right there in the bathroom or falling over limp and ill.
"I'm just...it's just...close to the full moon you know." Another soft smile, shrugging his shoulders lightly, and Sirius had nodded in understanding.
"Come on back. Gryffindor's having a little celebration for us, and I heard that some of the seventh years managed to get firewhisky." He grinned and clapped Remus on the shoulder. The werewolf had grimaced, but couldn't help the fluttery feeling in his stomach as he felt the heat of Sirius's hand seep through his robes. Oh, bollocks.
Yes, things could get worse. The only thing worse than being a gay, teenage, werewolf was being attracted to your best mate, and the most infamous womanizer in Hogwarts, Sirius Black. He couldn't believe this. Anything but this. He felt like jinxing someone, or cursing someone, or making someone suffer. Unfortunately he was too much of a goody-two-shoes for that, so he just silently hated himself for a good seven weeks until Christmas vacation came. Then Peter and James went home. Sirius had chosen to stay, as usual, and Remus felt like staying for once as well, and not just because Sirius and he would be practically alone in the Gryffindor common room for lengths of time. And not because he knew that Sirius would ask him to help with his Christmas homework and they could sit together in front of the fire to work on it. No. He informed Sirius that he was only staying because his parents deserved to have a Christmas all to themselves. And that he would be transforming this year over break, and he would rather not worry about it back home. With Sirius the wolf was always a little calmer.
So they were alone. For an entire Christmas vacation. Not totally alone, there were a few others still there, but really, none of that mattered because it was no one they talked to. Only a few girls that Sirius flirted with non-stop. That was the only disadvantage of it all.
"Remus, are you coming to dinner?" Sirius questioned, while Remus was weakly curled up in an over-stuffed chair in the common room.
He looked up and murmured no. His head was aching, he was tired, all because in a few days he would be changing, and at the same exact time he seemed to be developing a bit of a head cold. Sirius walked over and looked concerned, which just made the whole situation worse, because Sirius was always sensitive and kind when dealing with Remus, which only made him pine after the other boy that much more.
"You want me to take you to Pomfrey?" He questioned, crouching down so he was eye level with the boy on the chair.
Remus shook his head softly, although it made him dizzy. "Just the wolf." He said softly, gazing over towards the window and then away. "And a cold."
Then Sirius reached over and took Remus's hand gently, which made the blond tremble lightly, and Sirius's dark eyes locked onto Remus's stormy grey ones. "You sure?"
Remus swallowed hard, jerked his hand back, and scrunched up in the chair further. "I'm fine." He assured his friend. "I'll be seeing her in less than a week anyway, so it doesn't matter."
Sirius looked irritated, but he straightened and nodded. "It does matter. But I'll bring you back something from the kitchen." He swept out of the room, and Remus made a sad little keening noise once he was alone again. Just that light touch had sent a tingle through his spine, and sent all the blood rushing straight to a place that really didn't need it right now. He shut his eyes tight and counted to twenty while thinking of the moon, and his potential embarrassment vanished, thankfully.
Sirius did bring him dinner as promised. Which just made Remus feel kind of bad for being so curt with him. So he apologized and offered to let the other copy his History of Magic notes, which cheered the brunette up quite a bit, and things were normal again until a few days later, when the moon rose high, heavy and yellow and completely round.
He was grateful that Sirius was there, even though he didn't really know it. But he knew that Sirius would be there, and that was enough to make him a little more calm about slinking off to the Shack to huddle in the corner until the transformation happened. After that, he knew nothing. The wolf took over and he was as good as dead for a night. He woke up on the bed, no blood, thankfully, just naked and weak as a kitten, coughing violently from the minor cold which seemed to have become a full-on case of the flu.
Pomfrey treated his bruises and scrapes like she always did, and gave him something absolutely horrible for his illness. It eased his sore throat and coughing, but his head was still heavy and he was still slightly flushed with fever.
The worst part was that tomorrow was Christmas, and he felt like a hippogriff had kicked him in the temple. Five or six times.
So while Sirius was bouncing up and down like an overexcitable puppy, Remus was dragging himself up and around, shuffling his way down the hall. Sirius still seemed worried for him, but he managed to wave a hand at him weakly and brush it off. It would be gone by the time vacation was over. But it did make for a horrible Christmas.
Christmas Eve, and he went to bed at seven in the evening. He had missed dinner again, though he had had to make a promise that he was going to eat tomorrow to Sirius, who kept looking at him in such a way that it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Or maybe that was the fever.
A few hours later, just when he was drifting off to sleep, Sirius pushed aside the curtains on his bed, sitting next to him. "Moony?" He questioned. "Are you awake?"
"Now I am." He muttered in a rather nasally voice, opening his eyes. Sirius looked apologetic.
"Sorry. I just wanted...I thought if you got your present now...it might make you feel better." He said brightly, and Remus forced himself into a sitting position as the other rummaged underneath his own bed and then carried the very badly wrapped package over to Remus's bed.
Remus took it, smiling and tore off the paper that his friend had obviously laboriously placed on the present. Underneath that was an entire stack of Honeyduke's chocolate bars, in all the flavors that Sirius knew he liked best. Remus loved chocolate, his friends all knew that. Chocolate was one present they could get that would always be welcomed. Remus's lower lip trembled for a moment, and he sighed.
"Thank you, Sirius." He said quietly, and Sirius looked concerned again.
"Remus...don't you like it?"
"Of course I do. You know I do." He said, but in a moment he was setting down the presents and lurching out of bed, hurrying out of the dormitory, down the stairs, out of the common room. Sirius was up and after him, calling out his name, he just kept moving, fleeing from everything.
He found the closest bathroom and locked himself up in a stall, perching himself on a toilet seat and huddling there, sniffling miserably. Why had he run? It wasn't necessary. Except that in the moment he had opened his present he had realized what he really wanted for Christmas. And it wasn't chocolate. And he had been so close to grabbing Sirius and kissing him, flu and all. What kind of a friend was he?
He groaned softly as he heard the bathroom door open, and that voice which made him shiver call into the room. "Remus? Moony, are you in here? Are you okay?"
He sniffled, which gave away his position to the other, and he heard the footsteps come closer to his stall. He couldn't hold back a cough, and the feet stopped right in front of his stall. He could see Sirius's shoes underneath the door, and he stared at them.
"Remus...are you all right, mate?" No answer.
"Remus listen, if you didn't like the chocolate that's okay. I'll get you something else if you want it. What would you rather have instead?" He asked gently, and Remus could hear the growing worry in his voice. The werewolf let out a sad little sound, and Sirius jumped. "Moony, please. Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."
"I want you to leave me alone!" He shouted suddenly, voice choked with emotion. The feet took a step back, and Remus was glad he couldn't see the hurt and shock on the other boy's face.
After a moment of silence, Sirius muttered something, and the lock clicked. Remus swore softly and scrunched up smaller as the brunette slammed the door open, looking at him furiously. "What the bloody hell is going on with you?" He hissed, wand held in his hand. Remus blushed, and looked down, and Sirius softened. The blond realized suddenly that tears were falling down his cheeks.
"Moony...Moony please..." Sirius kneeled in front of him, looking up, and Remus hid his face so that Sirius wouldn't see him crying. "Is it the present?"
"No, it's not the bloody present, all right? I liked the present. Just go away." Remus whispered in a pained tone. Sirius shook his head.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong!"
"You! You are what's wrong! You and your flippy hair and your goofy grin and your always knowing just what to get me, and the way you say my name and...bloody hell!" Remus launched himself forward, pressing a hard, rough kiss to Sirius's lips, feeling teeth clash and mouths molding to fit against one another. Then he was up on his feet again, scrambling out of the bathroom, leaving Sirius sprawled on the floor behind him. And when he heard no one calling his name, he knew he had succeeded, and screwed up royally. That was it. Sirius would tell James and Peter, then the entire school, and Remus the pouf would spread throughout every classroom and common room until he couldn't show his face ever again, and he would be forced to drop out and never be able to do anything.
He returned to the dormitory and pulled the curtains around his bed and covered himself with all the blankets and buried his face in the pillow and lay there waiting for death. That was what he really wanted right now. Just the sweet embrace of death. The worst part was is that he had crushed the chocolates in his haste, so now he had a half-dozen broken chocolate bars in his bed. He didn't even bother to move them.
He heard footsteps return to the dormitory, but they didn't come near his bed, and he became even more miserable. Surely Sirius would hate him now. Think he was disgusting and impossible. There went the only three friends that he had.
He was so immersed in his grief he didn't realize that a second set of footsteps came up the dormitory stairs after the other ones were gone. Or that these were the ones that actually belonged to Sirius, until a hand grabbed his curtain and opened it roughly, causing him to sit up in shock. Sirius looked down at him, a fierce gaze in his dark eyes, almost frightening. Remus expected to get beaten up right then and there.
But instead, the front of his robes were grabbed, and a pair of lips were crushed against his own. He gasped and arched, eyes wide, as Sirius's hands snaked into his hair and cupped his face. Then his eyes fluttered shut and he sank against the other. All rational thought ceased, and the moment he felt a tongue brush against his mouth, his lips parted to welcome it, and Sirius clambered on top of him, yanking the curtain shut again.
"Merry bloody Christmas Remus Lupin." He heard when they had stopped for breath, Sirius still hovering above him, gazing down at him, one corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk.
Remus leaned up again, adding another kiss to the mix, this time slow and peaceful and perfect. "Merry Christmas Sirius Black." He sighed.
When James and Peter came back, they found Remus up and about, doing homework, and Sirius curled up in bed with the flu.