"I am C.C. Babcock. I'm not crazy. I'm a long way from crazy. Doing one crazy thing does not make one crazy. This is not how I planned on spending my Christmas, but then again I don't think he did either.."
"Just get in the car.." she rolled her eyes, "Come on, it's ten degrees out.."
You…" he stumbled, "are.. the devil."
CC rolled her eyes, wondering how the hell she had gotten herself in this screwed up mess…
One day before…
She walked through the cold, trying to keep the wind off her face. The warm air felt wonderful when she walked into the Sheffield mansion, still on her phone.
"C.C., is Chandler still coming?" She heard from the small plastic clutched into her shoulder.
She rolled her eyes dramatically, "Yes, Mummy."
"Do you think you'll finally settle down with this one and become the proper wife?"
"I don't know, Mummy. Are you going to settle down with your latest fling and become the proper wife?" She put her briefcase down next to the green leather couch as Niles walked in with a tray full of cups and saucers.
BB's shrill voice rang into the quiet room,"There is no reason to get snippy with me, Chastity. Why don't you wear that blue dress for Christmas dinner, it accents your figure…"
"Mother! Hold on, daddy is ringing in.."
"Tell that man if he embarrasses me at this 'family gathering' I will fuc-" CC cut her mother off and switched over to answer her father's call.
"Hello, daddy" She answered grimly, rolling her eyes again.
Niles snickered and pretended to adjust the contents on his tray around so he could listen to the conversation.
"Kitten, I hope you're prepared for this Christmas family party.."
"Daddy, I'm not sure that is possible. I just keep seeing this image in my head like a nightmare. We're going to be trapped like the Shining…" She sat down and started pulling out contracts to look over.
A few more words were mumbled before she hung up and focused all her attention on the work in front of her.
Niles continued to watch her as she looked down at the fine print and tried to rub the frown lines forming on her forehead away. He was surprised when she talked to the room suddenly,
"I have nothing to offer these people, no family no children, my grandfather thinks I'm a lesbian… Thank GOD I have Chandler, or else they'd really think me pathetic. I'm almost thirty-" She looked up realizing Niles was still in the room listening with eyebrows raised, "Nevermind, why am I talking to a domestic, I really am pathetic."
"So is that why you're taking Chandler? For arm candy?" Niles asked her.
"It is convenient.."
Later on, Niles knocked on the office door, "Miss Babcock, a Mr. Chandler Evans to see you.."
CC glanced up, "Yes, send him in Niles."
Chandler walks into the office, "When will you quit this horrendous job?"
CC stood up and kissed him quickly, "Where is your good suit? My family is expecting us in two hours!" CC looked over his khahis and blue dress shirt.
Chandler frowned, "Oh baby, we're not at that level yet.."
Niles walked in, obviously aware of the sensitive conversation taking place.
CC looked absolutely stressed, "Then why did you tell me that you'd go? They're expecting us in Greenwich in two hours!"
Niles looked back and forth between the couple, obviously excited at the drama playing out before his very eyes.
"I thought that is what you wanted to hear, and…" Chandler lowered his voice to a whisper, "we hadn't had sex yet!"
CC looked at Niles with eyebrows raised to the top of her forehead, clearly embarrassed that he might have heard Chandler, "If you walk out that door, we are OVER, Chandler, OVER!"
Chandler shook his shoulders nonchalantly, "I don't know what to tell you, babe, I've got twelve investor meetings for my theatre in the next three days," He grabbed the sleeves of his coat over his arms, "Bye, C.C., Happy holidays."
CC looked as red as a beet, Niles exited the office quickly, not wanting to be present when the Ice Queen finally cracked.
"SON OF A BITCH!" CC's voice echoed through the house.
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An hour later, Niles felt that the coast was probably clear, and took his feather duster into the office to clean. CC had just opened her ringing phone.
"Hello mom" CC answered, looking slightly perturbed. She glanced at Niles.
"You haven't left yet? I told you eight o'clock! Are you trying to ruin this Christmas?" BB shouted through the phone.
CC rolled her eyes, trying to think of a good excuse. She looked quickly around the room, settling her eyes on Niles, "We're on our way now, Mummy."
"Is Chandler dressed appropriately?"
"Yes," CC answered watching Niles leave the office, "he is wearing a navy blue suit and gold tie.. bye Mummy, see you in a few hours."
She quickly got up off the loveseat and ran out into the entry way where Niles was putting on his winter coat, pulling her broach out of the coat she had brought that day, "You're coming with me," she whispered into Niles ear, holding the needle from her broach into his side.
"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Babcock?" He answered exasperated as she pushed him down the front stairs to the street, "Susan is coming over in…" just as he reached the bottom level he slipped on a piece of black ice and flew back. CC watched as the back of his head slammed against the corner of the stair.
"Niles!" She slumped down, making sure that he was okay. When she realized that he was just unconscious, she grabbed him under the arm and supported him as he groggily stood up for her.
"Just get in the car, Niles!"
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He woke up in the car, panty hose tied around his wrists and the crazy blonde sitting in the drivers seat next to him, "You can't do this! I had plans… with Susan!" Niles said exasperated.
"Well, there has been a change of plans, sorry! You're coming with me- as Chandler, not yourself- to meet my family."
Niles had a crazy look in his eye, "Like HELL I am! Chandler dumped you…. So now you think you can take it out on me, do you?"
CC tried to keep her eyes on the road, "WHAT!? No I'm not! I just need someone to take to my family's party… its only for the night, Niles, just grow up."
Niles eyes narrowed into slits glaring at her, "What are you going to do, hold that broach to my side in front of your family?"
They stopped into a gas station and CC stepped out of the car, "I've got to go buy gas, you stay here."
She walked into the small convenient store where an old man sat behind the counter.
"Hello, Miss! Can I pump your gas for ya?"
CC pulled a twenty out of her wallet and handed it to him, "No, I can pump my own gas."
"Nevermind deary, I'll just follow you out, won't take but a few minutes!"
The man was obviously not going to take no for an answer. CC rolled her eyes and threw the door open with her hand. She had temporarily forgotten that she had a tied up man in her car. When they both approached she watched in slight horror as the old man looked in at Niles, who looked less than pleased to be in the middle of New York and Connecticut.
CC tried to explain, "We are on our way to Greenwich for a surprise 'special' weekend if you know what I mean!"
The man raised his eyebrows and held up a finger as he turned around and walked back into the store.
"SHIT!" CC ran around the car and started pumping the gas.
Minutes later the man came back out and handed her a pair of furry handcuffs "These are on the house, sweetheart!"
CC smiled sweetly and jumped in the drivers seat, quickly speeding off.
"We will be there in about fifteen minutes. When we arrive, you're going to tell them that you are the owner of a theatre. You sail, golf a 14 handicap, and you graduated from Oxford."
"I DID graduate from Oxford!" Niles shouted exasperated.
"Ah! Well perfect."
They arrived at the Babcock estate, "CC darling! Welcome, this must be your charming Chandler!" BB smiled at Niles.
"Yes, Mummy. Chandler, meet my mother, BB Babcock."
Niles shook BB's hand unenthusiastically.
The doorbell rang again and the Babcock butler answered it to Noel and CC's sister DD.
"Hello, CC!" Noel hugged his sister and turned to look at Niles, looking confused as to why the Sheffield butler was at their Christmas family gathering. CC grabbed his arm and shoved him into the office nearby.
"Noel, Niles is stepping in as 'Chandler' for the evening…"
Noel looked surprised, "I knew there was always something between you and that damned butler! Always fighting and bickering!" Noel had a big grin on his face.
"Oh cut it out, Noel. Chandler couldn't make it and I could hardly stand the thought of Mummy ridiculing me in front of everyone." She crossed her arms and looked out into the foyer at Niles standing awkwardly talking to DD.
The dinner table was set and the adults sat down for the meal.
CC looked around, "Where is Daddy?"
DD sipped from her wine glass, "Oh he called me, something came up in Chicago and he had to fly back to take care of things."
BB smiled at the older Babcock, "DD you are looking so thin!"
DD smiled smugly, "Well, some of us know how to keep a good figure."
Niles bit the inside of his cheek and looked across at CC who looked ready to explode.
She kept her cool and the rest of dinner seemed to go smoothly. Niles noticed the amount of alcohol that the Babcocks seemed to be ingesting. He looked at CC particularly, who seemed to be ready to pass out.
"Well, I think it is time for us to retire," BB slurred.
"Yes, thank you God!" CC exclaimed even more inebriated.
Niles walked over and pulled at her arm, "CC, we need to go back! I have people who expect me.."
"Oh can it Niles, no one is going to notice you're gone. Tomorrow is Monday- I know that is your day off!"
Niles let her arm go, "You expect me to spend my day off around the holidays with you and your blasted family!?"
DD walked around the corner, "Trouble in paradise, baby sister?"
CC straightened her back, "No, DENISE, we were just trying to decide how long we wanted to stay in this hell hole."
DD rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs.
CC walked Niles up the stairs and to her old bedroom. It was still decorated with delicate lace and ivory bedding. The pictures on the wall were mostly of family, but a few pictures were of CC with friends at what Niles assumed was her boarding school. CC walked into the bathroom with a pajama set she pulled from a drawer, "Niles, I pulled something of Noels out, it's on the bed."
Niles took the flannel matching set and started undressing. When CC walked out he couldn't quite take his eyes off of her. What she had on was not revealing, but she did look somewhat angelic. Her pajamas were made of soft white satin and they complimented her shiny blonde hair.
"Niles, the family expects us to stay for lunch, but then I promise we can go back. Lets just try to get through the next day without killing each other."
"CC, this was completely unfair. You took me away from New York knowing I had plans!" Niles sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands, "I was thinking about proposing tonight."
CC's heart dropped into her stomach and she had no idea why, "I'm sorry Niles."
Niles looked up, "No I don't think you are. It was selfish, CC. Don't you see that?"
Her anger flared, "Oh I'm sorry, I just thought with all the shit I've taken from you over the years- you breaking my heart over Maxwell and putting dirty water in my coffee- that maybe you could find it in your heart to do me this one favor!"
Niles stood up, "Well, I'm sorry for not wanting to do you any favors two days before Christmas Eve!"
CC pulled the covers of the bed back harshly, and got into bed without looking at Niles again, "Goodnight, Softscrub."
Niles pulled the other side back and climbed into bed facing away. He thought he heard sniffles, but then reminded himself that she didn't have a heart.
Twenty minutes later, CC was snoring and Niles was still wide-awake, brewing about her selfishness. He got up quietly and started searching the house for the keys and his jacket. When he couldn't find the keys anywhere, he threw on his coat and started walking down the snowy lane of the estate.
After walking for what seemed like an hour he heard a car in the distance and saw light under his feet.
C.C. drove up, "Just get in the car.." she rolled her eyes, "Come on, its ten degrees out.."
You…" he stumbled, "are.. the devil."
CC rolled her eyes again, "Look, Niles, I realized I've been selfish and thought of my needs before yours. Please, just get in, you'll freeze to death out here."
Niles stopped, finally defeated, and opened the car door. He slumped into the seat, bringing a wave of cold and snow into the warm car.
When they got back to the house CC brought Niles in front of the still burning fire in the den.
"What is this?" Niles pulled out a beautiful pine wood board with small pieces inside, "Ah chess. A game that is tradition at Christmas time where I come from."
CC looked over at him, setting the pieces on the squares, "I'll go make us some tea."
When she came back with two steaming mugs, he had the board set up and was sitting at one end staring down, "Thanks", he said taking a mug, "Care for a game?"
CC made a move to take his pawn and Niles made a move that takes her bishop.
When she tried to grab her piece back he grabbed her hand and started hitting her own head with it.. "CC, stop! I'm starting to worry about you! Why are you hitting yourself!"
"Niles!"
Laughter ensued, and soon they had forgotten why they were fighting before.
Niles became serious again, still refusing to give back the bishop, "You can't take something back once its already been done."
C.C. looked at him pensively, "Even if you knew it was wrong right from the start, and you're sorry?"
They were obviously talking about something completely different than chess now.
Niles smiled, "Fine, but know that you're a cheater." He smiled broadly.
The next morning CC woke up with a killer headache snuggled next to Niles in the bed.
"Shit, we need to get up, its almost 10."
Niles sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Look, it's snowing. Its beautiful."
CC walked into the bathroom a few minutes later and saw Niles in a towel,
"Sorry, I just needed the towel… TOOTHPASTE!"
"Do you need the shower as well? I can get out of here."
CC tried to rip her eyes away, "No, that's okay, I can wait…. I better leave."
"Yeah, maybe." Niles says quietly.
They dressed in the clothes they had worn the day before and walked down stairs.
"Grandmama!" CC exclaimed when she saw an elderly lady at the bottom of the stairs.
"WHERE IN GODS NAME ARE WE?" The senile woman asked.
"Hello, Grandmama." DD hugged the lady lightly.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" She tried to get the heavy fur coat off her shoulders but was struggling.
Niles stepped in, "Here, let me help you with that." He took the coat off and hung it in the front closet.
DD rolled her eyes, "That is what we have a butler for, Chandler."
Niles suddenly felt pressure on his derriere, "Nice firm ass! Just like Paul Newman!" Grandmama shouted. CC put her face in her hand, embarrassed at the woman's behavior.
Grandmama had apparently already found the vodka, "I have to spend a whole day with you Yahoos, mama is gonna need a little help!" She threw back another glass.
Niles laughed, seeing family resemblances, "Now I see where you get it from!"
They walked into the kitchen and Noel smirked, pointing over Niles and CC's heads at the hanging mistletoe.
Niles was caught off guard, but somewhere inside he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had wanted to kiss her since last night.
CC on the other hand, was turning bright red.
Slowly, they both leaned in for a delicate warm kiss and both felt tingles up their spines.
Noel clapped to get rid of all the awkward tension floating around the couple, "Well, Chandler, what do you say we go in the den for a cigar?"
Niles cleared his throat trying to put Susan back into his mind, "Sounds good."
The men left, leaving grandmamma in the corner continuing to drink, and CC and BB standing in the kitchen looking out at the snow.
"You know CC, I think you've found a keeper. I always wanted your father to look at me the way I see Chandler look at you."
CC was caught off guard, "I don't know, Mummy. I'm not sure he really loves me."
Grandmama chose this particular moment to chime in, "CC girl, you need to get your head out of the clouds and settle down! Have children like your sister! My god, you're not getting any younger!"
Niles had walked into the kitchen for another glass of brandy and looked at CC who was obviously hurt.
He cleared his throat, "Actually, I have one more present for CC.." He pulled out the ring he had bought for Susan and dropped down on one knee to hand it to her.
BB went ecstatic. The luncheon went smoothly with lots of talk about a wedding within the next year.
When they left, CC let out a big sigh of relief, "Thanks Niles, I know my hand isn't the hand you wanted to put this on." She reached and took the ring off her finger, handing it to him.
Niles felt uneasy about it. Why did he not want her to take it off? Had the last few days gone to his head?
"Look, Niles… I'm sorry to take you away from your life at Christmas.. I'll take you wherever you want to go."
"Just back to the mansion is fine." Niles said gently, putting the ring back in his side pocket.
When they arrived back, Maxwell had obviously been worried about the disappearance of his butler for the night.
After working a few hours on contracts, CC decided it was time to leave. She put on her coat and walked down the front steps carefully. When she reached her BMW she felt hands pull her and a scarf go around her eyes. She tried to let out a scream but a big hand wrapped itself over her mouth.
"CC, its me, Niles. Just calm down!" He pushed her into the car and used the furry handcuffs they had gotten from the gasman to hook her to the car handle.
Niles drove a short while, before he finally let her out and guided her through the snow to the end of the Brooklyn Bridge.
He took off the blindfold, "CC, I know you're pushy, and a little crazy, and I lost a lot because of you. But I realized I don't want any of those things. Everything I want is right here." He grabbed her hand, "I have spent my whole life striving for something I've realized I don't even want. I thought I had to prove something to be with you, but I don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.."
"No, you don't."
He reached in and kissed her. This kiss was longer and deeper than the last.
"Can you take these furry cuffs off me now?" Niles laughed and she reached to hook her hands behind his neck, cuffs and all.
"Merry Christmas, Witch."
CC smiled, finally feeling some Christmas spirit, "Merry Christmas, Butler Boy."
"There may be no such thing as a perfect job, family, or life, but there is such a thing as a perfect moment. GOD I'm sounding just as corny as Nanny Fine. So I take it back, I might be crazy, but I'm also happy."