This is the original ending to The Chosen. However, Potok felt that it took away from the overall plot and point of the story so he just cut it out, but still the book felt like it was missing something. Consider this as "filling in the blanks".
I looked over to where Danny sat hunched over and crying in the right chair by Reb Saunders desk. I wanted to do something. Anything to ease the pain that shook his entire body with sobs. I stepped over to him and tenderly rested my hand on his trembling form. He tensed when he felt my touch and raised his head to see me. His eyes were red and his cheeks wet, but even then his physical attractiveness was astounding. I wasn't blind to the way women looked at Danny on the street, their eyes lingering on his fair complexion and the smooth but sharp refinement of his features. He was taller than me too. I had always felt average in the looks department, but women liked me for my winning personality. However, now that Danny's engagement was broken, I wouldn't be the only one taking out lady friends. He could even top my score, since he was by far more attractive than I was.
"Reuven." The sound of my name snapped me back into reality. Danny was looking at me with a sorrowful, piercing gaze. I felt my insides churn. His eyes were so blue it blew me away every time they met mine.
"What is it? Do you need anything? A tissue perhaps?" He smiled and I left his side to get my tissue packet from my briefcase. I used it mostly for school, but I had become accustomed to carrying it with me often, and I had taken it to Danny's house today. He took the tissue I offered him, and wiped his eyes dry.
"Thank you," he said softly. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. Like coming over today. I… I'm glad you're here. It's easier because you're here." I smiled at him and put my hand on his shoulder. He flinched a little, but he didn't pull away.
"My father," he continued, "is a great man. And he is a good man. I could never hate him, even for the silence I was raised in. It was not all bad, and now… things will be fantastic!" His smile was shining. "I'm going to college! I'm going to study psychology! Before I met you, Reuven, I would have never believed it was possible. Thank you. Thank you so much!" His eyes were rimmed with fresh tears.
He stood up and enveloped me in a close embrace. Because of our height difference, I found my nose pressed between his neck and his shoulder. He smelled like Danny, and he smelled good. I closed my eyes against his black jacket, and I gently wrapped my arms around his waist, slowly tightening my grip until we were pressed so closely I thought I might melt into him. I felt him suck in a short breath and blow it out with a tremble. I pulled back enough to see his face, more than surprised to find it blushing and troubled.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"It's nothing." A pause. "Well it's just that we're… I mean..." It was clear to me that neither of us had broken away from the hug and we still stood together, holding each other. I let my arms drop to my sides.
"Sorry. I didn't realize."
"Reuven."
"Yes?"
"We're friends, right?"
"Of course!" I exclaimed. "Did you just figure this out?"
"That's not what I meant. I mean…" He looked away as if he were uncomfortable. "Never mind. I don't want to talk about it." He looked horribly deflated. I could tell whatever was on his mind must've been troubling him for sometime.
"You can tell me anything, Danny. That's what friends are for." I smiled as a sign for him to continue. His eyes were on the floor and he looked exceptionally apprehensive.
Well, I just… I don't think…I'm finding it hard to think of you as a friend."
"What?" I was aghast. "What are you saying? You mean even after everything we've been through together, you don't even think of me as your friend?" I was in such a state of disbelief, I forgot which way was left.
"No!" he said immediately. "Of course we're friends! That's not it at all!"
"Then what are you talking about!?"
"I just think… well, um." His brow was deeply furrowed and face was redder than a radish. "I think… I might think… of you… as more than a friend." He said his last bit so quiet I could barely hear it.
"L-like a brother?"
"No Reuven." He flopped down into his chair, with his flushed face buried in his hands.
It took me a moment to comprehend that what had just occurred was pretty much a blatant confession. Now it was my turn to blush. I stammered as I tried to form words, but nothing came to mind. We both stayed there in silence for what could've been a whole week and the Sabbath would've passed all over again. We probably missed services, but that was the last thing on my mind.
Danny… I wanted to touch him. To hug him and tell him everything was alright, but I wasn't sure if it would be true. The Torah strictly forbids the kind of relationship that he was implying. That he wanted with me. And that I wanted with him? I wasn't sure. I loved Danny, but not as a woman. But of course not as woman. Danny was not a woman. He was a man. He was attractive and tall and more intelligent than anyone I'd ever known. It probably took a lot of courage to admit to me his feelings. All this time he was holding it in. It was one secret that he couldn't tell anyone. He would know better than anyone the restrictions against romantic relationships between two men.
My stomach turned over suddenly at the thought of me being involved with Danny, romantically. It didn't feel good, but it wasn't out of disgust. It wouldn't be bad. It would be bad if anyone found out, right away. But it could be good between us. I swallowed hard and looked over to where he was sitting. His body was rocking slightly, back and forth. He was in obvious turmoil. Maybe, I was reading too much into this. Danny needed me now, and that was the only one thing I was sure of. I kneeled down so I was level with him, and I took his hands away from his face and laced them in with mine. He looked as if the Messiah had appeared and lit my hair on fire.
"Reuven, you-"
"Don't. Don't say anything." It was hard to look directly at him. Those blue orbs threatened to take away all my sense of reason. But his eyes softened and closed, and his forehead pressed against mine. I didn't pull away. I didn't move at all. I realized I was holding my breath and I unsteadily sucked in air. My heart was going overexert itself, beating at this rate.
As I contemplated how fast my heart would actually have beat for it to give up and stop altogether, Danny opened his eyes and looked at me. He looked through me, and into another dimension. Merciful God. It was the most terrifying and beautiful feeling I ever experienced. Then his eyes flickered shut and he pulled his forehead away from mine. I was about to say something, but I never would be sure what was on my mind, because the next second Danny's hand was at my chin, guiding my face to his in a soft kiss. And that's when my heart exploded. It was like all my senses had gone into overload, and I the only thing I could register was the feeling of Danny's lips on mine.
I was aware that I made an audible whimpering noise when he broke the connection. Danny pressed his lips to my cheek, while his fingers traced my jaw line. My hands rested on his knees, clenching and unclenching when he traced over a sensitive nerve. He pulled my glasses off slowly and set them on the desk. Then he pushed his nose against mine and stared at me.
"Danny…" Was I talking?
"Yes?"
"…I can't think," I said blankly. I sounded like an idiot.
"I still want to kiss you, Reuven."
My eyes widened and I gulped down the saliva that was rapidly forming at the thought. "What if your dad walks in and finds us here?"
His eyes darkened. "I don't think he will, but I understand if you don't want to continue."
"I do," I said, and before I realized I'd said it out loud, Danny tipped his head at an angle and we were kissing again. It was bliss. One of his hands rested firmly on my waist while the other one stroked my collarbone. I moaned into his lips and he smiled. Cheeky bastard. I didn't want to be the only one to feel so inferior. I moved one of my hands to his shoulder to steady myself as I moved the other hand up along his thigh. He groaned. When he did he opened his mouth slightly and I used the opportunity to drag my tongue across his lower lip. He gasped and pulled me in closer until our mouths were both fully open and locked on each other. I pulled him off the chair so we were both sitting on our knees. Eventually I had to break away, and while I panted for air, Danny's mouth traveled down to my throat where he sucked lightly on the tender skin. I arched my neck and leaned into his mouth. He sucked harder in approval of my reaction, and I moaned so loud I startled myself.
It was then that I became acutely conscious to the fact that we were obviously making out inside of Reb Saunder's study. I pulled away from him.
"We can't do this here. It feels wrong." Danny straightened, wiped his mouth and nodded slowly. His lips were pink and swollen, and his lids were heavy with arousal. I almost cried he looked so beautiful.
Yeah…" he said hazily. He was till trying to process what had just happened. You and me both, Danny.
I grabbed my glasses off the desk and put them on. Reb Saunder's study came into focus around me, and all the blood rushed to my face when I realized what we had just done. Here. In Reb Saunder's study. Jesus.
"What's wrong?" Danny asked, and he leaned in and cupped my face with the palm of his hand.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to study Talmud with you and father and be able to keep a straight face ever, ever again." His lips curved into a delicate smile. I could still taste them on mine. I shuddered.
"Danny we should go. Somewhere, but not here. This room is making me feel kind of suffocated."
"Ok. Whatever you wish." He stood up and pulled me up with him. I was back to staring at his chest and shoulders. There was a patch of exposed flesh peaking out from the top of his white button-down shirt. I reached out and touched the smooth skin. I felt Danny's body immediately stiffen and he choked out a low groan. I quickly pulled my hand back, but I was left with a sense of brief triumph at making Danny's whole body tremble with pleasure at a simple touch.
"Reuven?" His voice sounded dark and troubled. "Do you think what I feel for you is wrong?"
I hesitated. "No," I said. "I don't think it's wrong to be happy with the person you want to be with."
He looked unconvinced. "The Torah specifically forbids us being together."
I shook my head. "I don't have an answer. Yes, it does, but I don't care." His eyes were filled with tragedy and gratitude. He leaned his head against my shoulder, which he had to bend down to do, but he seemed comfortable resting in that position.
"I don't know what to do."
"Let's get out of here," I said. The study was making us both feel suffocated.
We left Danny's house and walked all the way back to mine. We walked so close together our hands would often touch and our arms would brush against each other. Neither of us said a word the whole way home, but we both knew exactly what the other one was thinking about.
When we reached my house, Danny said, "I don't know what's going to happen next, but I will start looking for an apartment near Columbia tomorrow. I'm afraid we won't see each other too often."
I nodded. "It's ok. It's not like you're moving to another state."
"No, " he said. I shuffled my feet, and tried to think of something to say. I didn't need to. "What will happen with us?"
"We don't have to decide that right now. You're thinking too far ahead."
"Are we moving too fast?" he asked.
"It's a lot to process in just a couple of hours. Let's sleep on it," I replied softly.
Danny pulled me into him and kissed me slowly and deeply. I wasn't worried about being caught with him, so I leaned into his kiss to return it fully. We broke away after what could've been fifteen minutes, and Danny turned and left me staring after him in the dark.