A/N: So…. It's short, cute, you know. And even a het fic for once ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people from the Gundam Wing universe. That's just one more reason I need to take over the world: own all the yummy bish that are at the moment so far out of my grasp.
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I always knew it would be someone from the war. I don't think anyone not involved could possibly understand, I don't think anyone who'd be callous enough to stay out of an event that determined the fate of the earth would get along with me. I'm passionate like that. As for that someone? I don't know. A husband, a wife, a lover, even a chess buddy; I don't think it would matter so long as they were there. I don't think a lot.
Because I knew that it would have to be a person from the Eve Wars, I dated all sorts of people that fit the requirement. Big, macho men mostly, you know the type, the guys who'll brag about anything given half an opportunity. I even dated a guy who, and I quote, said "Yeah, I was at the Victoria base when she was taken over by Oz. I killed three soldiers before the base blew. If I recall, Instructor Noin herself thanked me for my services. She's kinda hot, you kinda remind me of her…."
I walked off and left him with dinner and the check. Not only was I well aware of the physical similarities between Noin and myself, especially when I got older, but I know my war history. The Victoria base was never forcibly made to surrender, that was LaGrange point, and while the trainee's dormitories were blown to smithereens, it was the work of one man: Wufei.
Duo laughed himself sick when I told him the story of that date. Yes, Duo and I tried it for a while, but in the end he was a Heero addict, and I just wanted the God of Death to grow up. We're still good friends though. Such good friends that I trusted him when he tried to set me up with Wufei. That was a splendidly bad idea, so bad in fact, that Wufei may still be nursing his wounded pride….. and genitals.
So, at the age of twenty-three, seven years after the Eve Wars, I'd all but given up on finding someone I could relate to on a personal level, or even love. I think I may have even been afraid of it. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with one person, or making the commitment to a relationship that might fail. It terrified me. That's why I was so surprised to meet him, in a coffee bar of all places. I was sulking in an armchair, nursing a soy latte, when a familiar face walked through the door. He ordered a mocha-almond latte with an extra shot of espresso and sat at a table near my chair. Apparently, Gundam pilots never forget a face, even when stricken by amnesia, because he did a few double takes before screwing up enough courage to ask, "Do I know you?"
I wasn't quite sure how to respond. His was a face (or rather a hairstyle) that one didn't soon forget, but his name managed to slip my mind, so I introduced myself. "I'm Hilde."
"Duo's friend right?"
AH! Now I remember, we were never formally introduced, I just remember him from the carnival! "Yeah."
"My name is Trowa. Trowa Barton." He said it with such distaste, like he would rather be anything besides Trowa Barton; but I like his name, I think it fits him.
We got to talking, about silly things mostly, like clothes, and cabbages…. Like I said silly things. From what I remembered, via Duo of course because I had no experience with him outside the tales of the braided one, Trowa was pretty quiet, but in the past seven years that I hadn't known him, he opened up. I even got him to laugh a few times, though a conversation over cabbage will do that to anyone. Before I knew it, we'd promised to meet at the same time next week.
It was raining the day we met, but we both came anyway. I was stupid enough to think of the rain as a light drizzle, so I didn't bring an umbrella. Trowa was kind enough to share his as he walked me home (did I mention that I don't have a car? I have a junk yard, but not a car…. how does that make sense?), but as you know, when people share an umbrella, both end up no drier than they would have been without. I invited him in to dry off (for the sake of health! Honestly!), and threw his clothes in the drier while he sat curled on the couch in a blanket. And that set the scene for the rest of our relationship; it was chicken-soup comfortable. I like that.
It was such a relief, not having met a man via the internet, or through some tacky dating service, I'm way too young for that! This was a nice, healthy, normal change. He kissed me on our third date. I never would have pegged him as conservative, but he is, surprisingly so. If there was no great awakening during our first meeting (okay, so I had a crush on Duo, and he was a carnie: literally), there was during our first kiss. I am by no means a virgin, but that kiss made me feel like one; tentative, scared. Was it possible to fall head over heels in love with someone because of a kiss? I used to think I was jaded on the subject of love, I thought fairy tales were just mushy, overrated crap, that was before I met Trowa. He opened new doors for me that I never knew were there.
I was cuddling with him on the couch one drizzly afternoon (Rain has officially become a symbol of our relationship, maybe we should move to Baltimore or Chicago…) when I asked him about Quatre. I had always assumed, again through Duo, that they were an item, and it was becoming an elephant in the living room, for me anyway. Trowa actually laughed for a minute, then he realized I was serious.
"Quatre and I had a fling," he admitted with a shrug, "but there was nothing there. You can only rely on the knowledge that you sacrificed your life for someone for so long. Quatre and I didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things. I didn't understand his need to rebel and be on his own, he doesn't understand my need to conform."
That settled the issue, Trowa had already told me about his conformity issues, and I understood them. Being part of a militaristic organization gave you anonymity, a safety in numbers. By putting yourself out at the helm, as a Gundam pilot, as a leading officer, it was a scary thing. There was no more following orders, no more comrades to take the fall with you, you made the orders – you were all alone. For people like Trowa and me, it's a daunting thought. I think we've spent so much time alone that we're afraid of it. I think a lot more since I've met Trowa.
I'm so proud of him for not blowing up at me about that question. I would have gotten hissy if he'd asked about my previous boy friends. Then again, if he'd asked about Duo, I would have laughed at him. I guess knowing that, it makes sense. I love that about him, he makes sense to me, and I wasn't afraid to tell him so.
Trowa just laughed at me and said, "I love you too." Sincere as you please, we weren't even in bed together. That was the first time he'd said it, that was the first time any man said he loved me. That was the day I realized that Hilde Shriebker was becoming Hilde Barton, and you know what? It didn't scare me.
