A/N: I just couldn't get this plot bunny out of my head, so I wrote it down. Tell me what you think, and if it should be longer than a one shot. I'll go into more...detail :)~
DISCLAIMER: No,I REFUSE to say it! *sobs* please don't make me say it….fine, I…don't own Harry Potter :'(
The Headmaster of Hogwarts had just finished his nightly stroll of the castle's magnificent grounds. He approached the gargoyle that guarded his office. With a smile, he said, "Lemon Drops". As the gargoyle slid away, revealing a hidden stairway to his office, Albus felt an all-too familiar urge for the tangy muggle candy.
He sat at his desk, hand poised over the area where his Lemon Drop dish was supposed to be.
It was gone.
Dumbledore sat there in shock. No. Nonononono this cannot be happening! He rushed to the fireplace and threw powder onto the flames, turning them a brilliant green, before stepping in and shouting "MINERVA'S QUARTERS!"
Minerva, who had been in the sitting room of her quarters, enjoying a nightcap or five before the fire, leaped into the air, spilling brandy on her nightgown as the Headmaster fell out of her fireplace and onto her couch in tears.
"Gone…all gone…" Minerva quickly snapped out of her semi-drunken state.
"What's going on, Albus? Have Death Eaters attacked someone? The Order?" Albus shook his head, too grief stricken to put words over the terrible keening sound he was emitting. Minerva poured a brandy for him. Medicinal, she told herself. After he had had a few sips and calmed down, he looked up at Minerva, a terrible anger shining in his usually twinkling eyes.
"Whoever stole my Lemon Drops will pay. I am going to get to the bottom of this!" And with that, he flooed back into his office. Minerva polished off his brandy, giggling at the headmaster's nonsense.
Back in his office, Albus paced the floor, Fawkes looking on with humor in his eyes. After 10 minutes of uninterrupted pacing, Dumbledore sat at his desk. He tied a parchment to Fawkes' leg, with instructions to take it to the first suspect. After all, he was raised by a Death Eater, and as such, was capable of such evil as stealing candy from a headmaster.
15 minutes later, Draco entered the Headmaster's office. His hair was dripping, and his clothes were wet. Dumbledore looked closely and saw that his shirt was inside out. Suspicious…
"Draco," Albus gestures to a seat across from him. Draco sits, but will not look him in the eyes.
"Draco, where have you been tonight?" Draco looks up, frightened, into the Headmaster's twinkle-less eyes.
"Uh- just- the shower." He stammers, going red in the face.
"Why were you showering so late? Sticky fingers?" Albus knew he had him when Draco started to cry.
"Please don't tell my father! Please? If he found out what Harry and I did-"
"WHAT?" Harry stole his Lemon Drops as well? Albus felt betrayed. How many times had he offered them, only to be politely turned down? And now to have them stolen from him by someone he trusted.
Albus sighed. He sent word to Har-Mr. Potter to come to his office immediately.
That's right. Dumbledore was seriously pissed. He could go for some sugar right now-but oh yeah, Harry BLOODY Potter and Draco FUCKING Malfoy set up a heist to steal his sweets!
Harry entered the office, also soaking wet and with some soap bubbles in his hair. He stared at Draco, and then sat next to him. Albus put on his best disappointed-grandfather face and said, "Now, boys, start from the beginning."
Draco was red faced and shaking. As he should be, thought Dumbledore. No one fucks with his candy. That was the reason Grindewald had to go. He kept stealing Albus' peppermint humbugs.
Harry began to stammer, "Well, uh, Professor, I, well, I didn't sleep well last year, so I kind of liked walking around, you know? And Draco was there, and we just sort of talked at first, but then, you know, you just gotta act…well, anyway …god, this is so awkward...but we told Ron and Hermione and Blaise what we were doing, and don't worry sir, they are totally happy about it-"
Dumbledore clutched his chest. Hermione? The smartest student in the entire school, was happy that Harry would violate him like this? The sugar withdrawal had Albus seeing stars.
He saw no choice. He was going to have to expel them all. Perhaps have their wands snapped, such is the severity of their crimes.
Harry opened his mouth to continue when Snape walked in. He eyed the two wet (and one crying) boys with disdain. "Minerva asked me to drop this off with a reminder to 'chill out'." The vitrol laced in those last two words conveyed exactly how Snape felt about the headmaster's sugar addiction. He held out a new bag of Lemon Drops, which Dumbledore proceeded to take with a squeal. He ripped open the bag, taking a handful and shoving them into his mouth, promptly forgetting the students and his lack-of-sugar induced plans.
"Shall I escort these students back to bed, Headmaster?" Snape asked. Dumbledore nodded, looking like a small child, such was the glee on his face.
As soon as Snape, Harry, and Draco were outside of the Headmaster's office, Snape told them that they were plenty old enough to find their way back to the common rooms, and proceeded to Minerva's quarters to chew her out for waking him up and using him as an owl.
Draco sniffed and slipped his hand into Harry's. "So, wait, that was all about the candy?"
Harry looked just as bewildered. "Yeah, I guess…I totally thought-"
"Yeah me too! I really thought he knew what we were doing in the perfect's bathroom…"
Harry grinned, his emerald eyes shining mad under his wet hair. "Well, Herm and Ron aren't expecting me back for a while yet, and I'm sure Blaise won't mind waiting a little longer…"
Draco got a sneaky look on his face that made Harry's stomach flip. "Room of Requirement? I have a surprise…"
Draco practically dragged a laughing Harry to the seventh floor. Upon entering the room, they found the usual room it became when they were there: A cozy fireplace, comfy loveseat, inlaid mosaic coffee table…which, to Harry's mirth, had a bowl of Lemon Drops on it.
Draco kissed Harry's ear and whispered, "Happy Anniversary."