A warning of sorts to potential readers: This is a oneshot, though perhaps one day I'll get bored and write a companion piece for the other couples in the story. For those who are curious, the girl who's POV is used is named Sexta. For those who are adventurous, I made a forum-type-thingy for her so well can all get cuddly and delve into her character. No one seemed to believe me when I said I'd use her again, but I am and will continue to do so, so get used to her. And lastly, for those who don't give a flying fart about any of this, just enjoy the soft core smut.

That said, welcome to the dark recesses of my imagination. Please enjoy your stay.

Duo's Fault

It wasn't my fault, really. In the end, I blame Duo for the way things went down that night in the safe house. He's not very quiet when he alleviates his frustration the nights that Wufei is gone – not that they're quiet when they're together, mind you – and that particular night made the sixth in a row this week, which was a rarity that I was grateful for, even if it did make things weird. I preferred listening to Duo by himself with only my own thoughts for company than Duo and Wufei together with Heero not five feet away from me in the next bed. Those senarios were always…problematic.

Tonight, however, it was just me, with Duo in the next room jerking himself, calling out his lover's name. I blushed every time I heard him do it, tonight included, and it remained one of the few things my partner could do that would actually make me blush or get any kind of a rise from me. I think it was the intimacy I was encroaching upon by listening, and the desire that coursed through me with the clandestine feeling accompanying my hearing it.

I also felt more than a little guilty. Duo didn't do it for my benefit, it wasn't my name he was calling out. I didn't even want it to be my name. But there I was, taking pleasure from something he never meant to share with me, and he'd never even know it.

Regardless, though, I blame him. If he wasn't so freaking loud, we wouldn't have had this weird situation to deal with in the first place. If he'd just use a pillow, or go into the shower, or put on some music, something, it wouldn't even be an issue.

Then again, maybe he really did know I was listening, and screamed just to make me squirm.

Normally I would try to block it out, to seek out unconsciousness so I wouldn't have to face the feelings it sent through my system, but tonight was different for some reason. Tonight it was intense and unavoidable. Perhaps because we'd lost communication and didn't even know if our comrades were alive. Maybe because they should have been back to the safe house nearly a week ago. Most likely, however, it was because of the desperation we both felt, needing to have them return in one piece but being powerless to make them do so. Even Quatre's cheerfulness had finally worn thin and no longer had an effect on us when he tried to tell us it would be alright. But what would he know, since he and Trowa were never apart?

We needed our men back.

I for one had given up hope. Heero was much too suicidal to be able to guarantee his return. The mission was more important than any of us, and if he couldn't do it right, then he would die, end of story. I mean, if he'd been sent the command, kill the others and then off yourself while wearing Relena's pink dress on the can, he'd do it without blinking. Had that order been given to me, I'd find a new person to get orders from, preferably after killing the first guy in front of the new one. But that's just me, I guess.

So instead of trying to force sleep, I sat up, allowing Duo's cries of grief and pleasure to wash through the wall and over my dark corner of the house. It was heart wrenchingly beautiful and seductively lethal all at once, taking in that kind of passion, and I found myself ashamed. I'd never allowed myself to feel anything as strongly as he allowed himself to feel for the china man.

I wondered what it was like, to give in to that carnal need and voice one's true desires, to call out a person's name while in the throes of ecstasy, even when that person wasn't there to hear it. Was it wrong to worship the hold another human being had over yourself, to give in to the desire that burned their mark upon your heart without them even knowing? Wrong or right, I decided to find out as Duo finally quieted and the black silence crept in on me in my too-empty room.

Heero never had to know, so what harm could it really do?

I slipped between the sheets as I slid my underwear down around my ankles, choosing to leave my undershirt where it was, not wanting to feel too insecure or exposed during my secret moment of weakness and curiosity. I knew if I was a man, then there'd be no question of this being alright, but as a woman, it felt undeniably strange to be touching myself like this.

Just once, I told myself, just to help me get through the night. Tomorrow I'll be stronger.

The weirdness dissipated as I slowly discovered what felt good and what felt better. I disconnected my brain to stare up at the ceiling, not seeing it in the hazy trance that replaced my rational thought. Even though it was nothing more than my own hands, even though it wasn't the person I really wanted and couldn't have, it still felt worlds better than I thought it could.

Without seeing it coming, my sensitivity increased exponentially and I found myself gasping from the onslaught of the new sensation. "Oh Heero," I whined, tears welling up in my eyes as I did whatever I could think of to keep the feeling where it was. If only it was him that was bringing me such pleasure, if only he was here and not on some stupid mission getting killed, then maybe my heart wouldn't have ached like that to counterbalance the unfamiliar, warm feeling that was seeping down into my bones.

No wonder Duo screamed.

I choked out my desire's name one more time before the feeling faded and my hands came to a stop. I wiped my face on my arm, hating the tears and my weakness as I struggled to get my breathing back in order. As good as that felt, I wouldn't do it again. It wasn't worth the emotional draining afterwards.

"What were you doing?" came an all too familiar voice from the doorway. I bolted upright, staring in horror at Heero Yuy's face in the darkness. He'd heard me?

I didn't answer, hoping that if I waited long enough he'd just walk over to his bed and go to sleep. I couldn't even change the subject and tell him I was glad he came back alive because I couldn't trust my voice to sound stronger than I felt.

"I heard you say my name," he said sternly, coming over and sitting on the edge of my bed – the exact opposite of what I wanted. "What were you doing?" he repeated, eyes narrowing as he inspected the scene before him.

I looked away from Heero, hating him in that moment. "Same thing I'm sure you heard Duo doing a few minutes ago," I ground out. There was no use trying to lie to him. Last time I'd tried, he kicked me across the room, and I valued my ribs more than my pride at this juncture. I didn't even have to speculate whether he knew what I was talking about or not – anyone within two miles would have known what Duo had been up to.

I missed the emotions that grazed his features, but after a moment they settled into a harsh mask of anger; his favorite emotion. His eyes blazed and they met mine, daring me to take it back. When I didn't, when I did nothing but hold his gaze, his hand flew out and grasped my closer wrist tightly. I could see him debate within himself for another second while he stared down at our hands, both in firsts at this point, but when he looked up at me again, I have to admit it was surprising what fierceness I found there in those deep blue eyes. "Show me," he commanded.

Generally, I didn't care what happened to my body. As a soldier, getting shot or even raped by the enemy was almost always an option, if not at least an impending probability. I resigned myself very early on that whatever happened, I wouldn't let it destroy or deter me. So Heero's demand didn't faze me overly much.

It did, however, confuse the hell out of me.

"Why?" I questioned, allowing my suspicion to sit plainly on my face and wondering what on earth had possessed him to give such an order. I shifted uncomfortably while he contemplated his answer, glad that I'd decided to leave my undershirt on and that I was sufficiently covered by my sheets. Just because I didn't care about my body didn't mean I was going to flaunt it.

Heero didn't give me an answer, though. Not a verbal one at least. His anger visibly flared again, and he crushed my wrist between white knuckles. I smirked, knowing what he'd just started because he hated being questioned. I took my free hand and allowed my own set of white knuckles to connect with his jaw.

Heero went flying back like I'd hoped he would, and I took the split second of distraction to pull my underwear back into place and leap after him. He owed me a good fight for letting me think he was dead for a week and then making that stupid request as though this was science lab. "You are one selfish git, you know that?" I yelled as I swung for his face again.

I missed and he started in on his side of the beating. I loved that he was the only one that would actually hit me back. We traded blows for quite a few minutes, nothing but the sounds of pummeled flesh and sharp grunts filling the air between us. It felt so good, having that anchoring pain back in my life.

Heero charged me, knocking me back onto his bed and smacking my head against the wall. I pushed back against his chest, trying to get him off of me, but he grabbed onto my wrists and pinned me down again. I heard a growl rip through his throat as he locked his gaze on me, and I glared back, daring him to keep laying in on me.

He didn't though. In one swift movement he had his lips against mine, devouring them as if our lives depended on it. I could barely breathe from the force of it, and I found myself meeting every unforgiving shift of his mouth just to earn my right to a little air, but as we continued with our battle, I felt a deep heat spreading through me and I knew it wasn't just oxygen I was struggling to attain.

He pulled away from me, making me growl this time, wanting more of the harshness he'd offered me. "You said my name," he barked, his voice thick with emotion as he shook me with his whole body. "Show me!"

And the light bulb finally clicked on, burning my hands as I held it in awe.

I hooked my leg around his and rolled him, freeing my hands before the shock wore off. If he wanted a show, he was getting one. I ripped his shirt off before diving for his mouth again, this time shoving my tongue inside, not waiting for an invitation. I ran my hands down his chest, moaning with him at the feel of skin on skin. The fire within me raged and I was desperate to get closer to the source. I needed to be consumed by it, to have it consuming Heero too. In the haze I think he realized my need and met it in full force, tearing at my scant amount of clothing at the same time I reached for his shorts.

I love you. I couldn't say it, and I knew he didn't want me to. He wanted actions more than words. But regardless of his desire and my inability to voice my thoughts, the phrase became a mantra in my mind until I couldn't remember what the words meant and they took on new meanings.

They meant that I raked my nails down Heero's back when he dragged me under him.

They meant that I bit his shoulder as he pushed violently into me.

They meant that I pulled his hair as he rocked me, and screamed when he pounded into my body.

They meant that I dug my heels into his thighs as we both lost our minds to the exquisitely beautiful inferno that tore through our joined beings.

They meant that I gasped his name into his ear once he collapsed on me and my head finally stopped spinning.

And I learned that to Heero, the words meant that he held on to me, crushing me until his heart rate returned to normal, making sure that I wasn't some misfired information being shot through his brain.

Finally, I tugged on his hair to get him to look at me. I rubbed the bruise already forming on his cheek, smirking as I saw his eyes tighten in his own version of the flinch. "That was for being late," I whispered, grinning in a more-than-slightly-evil way.

Heero matched it, adding a mischievous glint to his fathomless eyes that I'd never seen before. "And the rest?" he asked, running a hand up my thigh. I swear, I had to be insatiable because that one movement made me want him all over again, and I had to swallow in order to forcefully bring my mind back to his question.

I thought for a moment about how best to answer him without relying on inadequate clichés. I had fought him because I had missed him, and I'd made love to him, well, for obvious reasons that he wasn't about to extract from me. It was almost disconcerting, though, realizing that if he had come upstairs ten minutes later, then he wouldn't have walked in on me and none of this would have happened. Hell, if I hadn't been weak and given in to temptation, then he would have come in and gone straight to bed without so much as a grunt in my direction. And if there hadn't been any temptation to begin with…

I grinned again as I came to my conclusion, knowing it would earn me a highly confused look from the man above me, but loving it all the same.

"The rest, my friend, is Duo's fault."