This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever written with my sister... For this I apologize.
Old D decides that he's fed up with everyone going to the Heaviside Layer. So he does what any cat would do – he complains.
I don't own CATS. Obviously. That's Andrew Lloyd Webber (my hero)...
It was time. The dawn was approaching and all the Jellicle's had gathered around Old Deuteronomy, their arms outstretched. Old D watched them silently with unreadable eyes and Munkustrap playfully tapped him on the shoulder and gave him an award winning smile that screamed: ME!
"NOOOO." Old Deuteronomy exclaimed loudly and everyone jumped back in alarm.
"You know what? We're going to do things a little differently this year!" he stood up majestically and did his famous 'shoulder shrug' in the 'Addressing of Cats' song. "I'm fed up! Every year I watch you guys go up to the magical Heaviside Layer. And I'm just sitting here with my tottery legs – when the vet TOLD ME to go slow – and hiking up that massive tyre for you ungrateful pollicles."
"We're grateful!" Munkustrap said and started bowing.
"No, you're kiss-asses!" Old D shot back. "This is MY magic floating tyre, MY golden staircase and MY HEAVISIDE LAYER. I just can't take this anymore!" He broke down in tears and Mungojerrie took this opportunity to steal his collar.
Old Deuteronomy stormed up to the tyre, hauled himself up on it, glared at the stunned cats and raised his arms. "Farewell!" he said dramatically. He paused and hesitated. "Why is the tyre not working?" he said, his arms still in the ridiculous pose and his voice still solemn.
"Maybe e's too big," Rumpelteazer hissed to Munkustrap, who promptly had a spasm.
"My father is NOT BIG!" he yelled and ran up to Old Deuteronomy. "Father, father, come down!"
The tyre gradually started floating and Old D gave a triumphant cry of delight. "OOOh, I knew it would work," he beamed, "Now...farewell!"
The magical staircase was slowly descending and Old D put a paw on the first step, and then started sprinting up the stairs before it gave way and collapsed.
He fell to the floor, then shakily stood up, dusting his fur coat down. "Ok." He said, "Who wants to go to the Heaviside Layer, then?"
~Fini~
Yes, it's weird. Review!