Not Sorry
I own nothing. Done as punishment for Tigress being a meanie on my forum.
--
Why?
Why did he do it?
Why couldn't I stop him?
Why didn't I apologize to him?
Why?
I gaze at the sight before me in detached horror, listening to the sound of creaking rafters, watching the pooling blood beneath them. I look to the wall, though I don't need to. I'll never forget what I see; it's a permanent imprint on my irises that is going to haunt my thoughts until my least breath is taken.
It isn't supposed to be like this.
I could have stopped him, I know I could have.
I think of what I could have done differently as my mind replays the past few days as if to agree that all of it was my fault.
--
"Hey, Tigress, you've got to see this!" shouted Po, jovially racing over to the feline.
It was the day after Tai Lung had been defeated, and Tigress still felt guilty about how she had treated Po, the true Dragon Warrior. Wishing she could take back her words and cruel actions, she offered the panda a soft smile and nodded, following the monochromatic ball of fur to the Training Hall.
"What do you want to show me, Master?" she inquired, noticing how odd it felt to refer to Po, happy-go-lucky idiot that he was, as master, but paid it no mind as Po pointed to the Adversary.
His arch nemesis.
Tigress nearly fell over laughing as she realized what he was showing her. The sand-filled 'demon', as Po called it, was covered in pink ink, randomly tossed pieces of gauze strewn about it, a crude-looking goatee painted with black on its daunting face.
And on its chest were the characters, 'Po pwn'd this doll.'
Watching the goofy grin that spread along his face like wild fire, Tigress allowed herself to fall to the floor, clutching at her sides as she gasped for air, silent laughter wracking her powerful frame.
When she finally gained some semblance of control, Tigress stood, brushing herself off as her great gales dissolved into a string of un-Tigress-like giggles.
Turning back to Po, she gave him a quick thumbs-up, then turned serious as she growled, "If you tell anyone I thought that was funny, you won't live to see the next day."
Po nodded in understanding, still grinning, but she knew he wouldn't betray her.
She trusted Po.
What she didn't realize was that a certain insect had caught sight of her laughing fit and had, several moments prior, raced off to tell the others.
That night the Five filed into the kitchen for the nightly routine of gossiping while Po made dinner. As Tigress seated herself, giggles rose from several of the others at the table, namely Monkey and Mantis.
"What's so funny?" she demanded irritably.
"Why don't you tell us?" joked Mantis, slapping a quick high five with Monkey as they burst into great gusts of laughter.
Tigress's eyes narrowed to slits as she pushed out her chair and turned to Po, grabbing him by the nape of his neck and turning him to face her all in one motion. Unfortunately, Po had been cooking at that moment and the motion resulted in the pot of thick tomato sauce being dumped on the crotch of Tigress's new, white pants, giving the look of menstrual leakage.
Mantis and Monkey only laughed harder, Viper smacking the both of them before slithering over to her female companion. She gently tugged at the tiger's pant leg.
Big mistake.
Growling deep in her throat, Tigress lifted Po off the ground and threw him out the open kitchen door to the courtyard outside. Leaping after him, she could still hear Mantis and Monkey complaining about headaches.
"Why did you do it?" she hissed, pressing her body flush against Po's, their faces inches apart. While Tigress did not notice it at the time, Po certainly did, and stumbled over words.
"I-I don't know what, I mean, what do you mean, what did I, I mean, what do you think, I mean, what'd I do?" Po stuttered, Tigress drawing all the wrong conclusions as to the meaning of his fumbling for words.
She thought he was lying to her.
He wasn't.
Snarling, she leapt off him and turned away, hissing before she left, "Until you apologize-"
"Apologize for what?" rebuked Po roughly, pulling himself up, ignoring the initial pain from the landing. "Apologize for making you laugh? For pulling you away from your precious training? What am I apologizing for, oh, Grand Master Tigress?"
Enraged by his taunting, Tigress fled to her room, angry tears streaming from her eyes, only irking her further. Swearing violently, something she was never to do in the presence of another, she tossed herself onto her mat and wept bitterly for trusting Po not to let the others make fun of her until she fell into a fitful sleep.
Gong!
Five masters exited their rooms. That in itself was not odd, it was who was up and who was missing that was so odd. While Po, who was never able to get up in the mornings, was up, bright-eyed, and perky, Tigress, who adhered to the strictest of codes of conduct, was nowhere to be seen.
Tossing her door open, Shifu found her to be curled up in a corner of her small, undecorated room, soundlessly asleep.
"Tigress! Get up!" he shouted, the feline leaping from her comfortable spot in the corner of the room to greet her master apologetically.
"Taking lessons from Po, are we?" he joked, earning snickers from several of the other masters, especially Po.
Bowing her head in shame, Tigress apologized once again and then followed her Master to the courtyard where, he announced cheekily, they would be training that day.
"Tigress," began Master Shifu, turning to face her fully. "since you believe you have mastered Kung Fu so completely that you no longer need to train, you will be taking my place in today's sneak attack. Begin."
The others had disappeared before Tigress even had a chance to defend herself, Master Shifu simply watching from atop the long wall.
Realizing there was no point in arguing, she took up a defensive stance and listened carefully to the sounds that resonated in her trained ears. Finally, she heard the telltale sound of Po's loud panting behind her, and she moved.
Spinning about, she kicked outward, her blow absorbed by Po's generous belly, sending her flying backward into Crane, who scooped her up into the air, attacking even as she plummeted back toward the ground, only to be stricken by Viper's muscular yet lithe form as she wrapped around Tigress. This gave Monkey a free shot at her, Viper loosening her grip to let Tigress slide effortlessly through her grasp as Mantis delivered the final blows, knocking Tigress to the ground directly below Master Shifu.
Humiliated.
Completely, utterly, indescribably humiliated.
That was Tigress in that moment, and all because of the damn panda's big mouth! Her anger only grew as Master Shifu carefully and painstakingly noted each and every mistake that had been made by her. Of course, a nagging voice in her mind that sounded like the rolling of gentle waves spoke, humility is important to the true hero.
True hero, like she still had a chance at that title she lost to the very panda she had just lost to. But no, that ship had sailed, and left her alone on the shore with nothing but a voice, the sound of the calm waves that seemed not to notice the lack of the extravagant ship, only crying out for her.
At least someone felt she mattered.
"I think that's enough training for this morning. Go get cleaned up, we will meet in an hour and a half in the Training Hall for routines," commanded Master Shifu. Tigress gathered up what was left of her dignity and walked as quickly as she could back to her room, bandaging her wounds and then folding her legs to rest in lotus position, attempting to meditate through her rage-induced mind blockage.
The voice from before, calm and serene, reminded her that he was only following Shifu's orders to fight her. Tigress relaxed into that voice, noting how familiar it sounded, though she couldn't place it, the smoothness of the notes caressed her ears with the inaudible sound of comforting words. She wondered if she were going insane, and if she was, could she ask the voice to be her husband so she wouldn't be alone in her insane asylum. It was, after all, a very sexy voice that sent shivers up and down her spine, forming goose bumps on her arms as she imagined the owner of the voice, or tried, struggling with his appearance in her mind's eye. She so wanted to know what her dream man would look like, and after the bad start she was having that morning, she felt she owed it to herself to indulge in a little fantasy.
And then she remembered.
That voice, those smooth, rageless transitions between each and every curvaceous note, that was the voice that belonged to one of the most recognized beings in all of China. A respected, generous, gentile, dead man named Oogway.
Telling herself exactly how crazy she was for even considering that she was falling for the dead tortoise, Tigress begged the gods for a distraction-
-and she received one in the form of a panda knocking at her door.
The last thing she wanted was to see that panda, but anything to distract her from her crazed delusions of those ageless hands, powerful enough to tear the oceans apart, caressing her body with the utmost love and-
She shook her head to clear it of such thoughts just as Po opened her door, body language speaking volumes of nervousness no word existed for.
"Master Tigress, may I speak to you?" he inquired softly.
"I highly doubt that, were I to say no, it would stop you, so talk away," she replied in agitation.
Po's expression fell further, sighing as he mumbled, "I don't know what you want me to apologize for, because I didn't do anything wrong, but I don't want to lose your friendship, so I'm sorry for whatever it was."
"You know what you did!" Tigress screamed at the panda, leaping up to be nearly face to face with him, Po feeling his palms sweat at her nearness.
"I trusted you, Po! I trusted you and you betrayed me! I can't believe you would do that, and then deny that you did it! I-" Tigress was cut off by a pair of soft, warm lips crashing against her own, cutting her off mid rant as large paws danced along her frame.
Pulling back, Po breathed, "I love you, Tigress."
Love.
She could hardly believe it, that he would be so bold as to steal a kiss from her, her first kiss, and then tell her he loved her! How dare he? How dare he take her first kiss? How dare he lie to her? How dare he love her?
"You love me?" she murmured, receiving a nod in affirmation. "You love me."
She shoved him away from her, pushing him out of her room as she grabbed the door, shrieking, "I hate you! I wish you just go away! Leave me alone!"
Slamming her door, she had curled up in a corner and wept, allowing the gentle voice of Master Oogway to comfort her until she realized she hadn't meant any of what she said to Po. She loved him, just not like he loved her. She realized he might not have known what she was talking about. After all, he wasn't the brightest bulb and she hadn't specified what he had done. And what she had said was a low blow to him. He poured his feelings out for her and she stepped on him. She knew she had to apologize, and maybe mend their friendship if she could.
She wanted her brother back.
Suddenly, she heard a thump in the room across the hall. Curiosity getting the better of her, she wiped her tears on the back of her paw and stood, glancing at Po's room.
She heard creaking from behind the door and wondered what the panda was doing. Sighing, realizing it was time to swallow her pride and apologize for her cruel words she tossed open the door-
-and froze.
There, right before her eyes, was the very panda she had meant to speak to, hanging from the rafters, thick rope cutting into his neck, tongue lolled to the side, hanging from his open mouth. She noted the blood that seemed to come from all over his body, dripping from his fingertips and pooling below him. Shaking in terror, she saw the wall behind him, characters hastily written in Po's own blood.
'Tigress,
Do you
love me
now?
--
Why?
Why did he do it?
Why couldn't I stop him?
Why didn't I apologize to him?
Why?
I gaze at the sight before me in detached horror, listening to the sound of creaking rafters, watching the pooling blood beneath them. I look to the wall, though I don't need to. I'll never forget what I see; it's a permanent imprint on my irises that is going to haunt my thoughts until my least breath is taken.
It isn't supposed to be like this.
I could have stopped him, I know I could have.
I think of what I could have done differently as my mind replays the past few days as if to agree that all of it was my fault.
A breeze ruffles his reddened fur and I shiver as a body forms from stray peach petals. It's Master Oogway.
He looks sadly at Po, then turns to me and holds out a clawed hand as if to offer me an escape, the eternity I would love to spend with him, as though redemption is being with him, and by regretting what I did, I am forgiven for it.
I don't cry, can't find the tears, but instead reach out to him. Warm, though dead.
Warm is all around me as he offers me a small, sad smile and a searing pain shoots through my back, rending me helpless as a fire that does not exist eats me alive and then, now, I am free.
It's so dark.
I can't see a thing.
I try to call out, but the words won't formulate. I can't even speak. I am deafened by the silence, blinded by the darkness, dumbed by my words, numbed by touching, unable to smell through the scentlessness, and tasteless by blood.
So much blood.
Po's blood, writing the words I can barely believe were inspired by my spite in his own blood. I'm sorry. I am, I wish I could take it all back, but I can't.
Who's that?
They approach me, a panda and a tortoise. They hold me close, brother and lover, and offer me consolation, drawing me away from my sins, my self-imposed hell.
We sit on a cloud, I'm seated in my lover's lap, nuzzling his long neck as he pets my head with trained hands, my brother chuckling at us. We don't speak, don't need to. We understand, finally, and that is enough.
We are not sorry.