Hi everyone, I've had this idea in my head for a few months and have finally decided to put pen to paper (or type into word) and get it out there. I know I haven't written in months but I was really busy and didn't want to start another story without giving it my 100% attention so I have finally got around to it, I hope you enjoy it but please tell me what you think!
Looking back now I really should have seen it.
It was like I was tied to railway tracks and the train was coming but I didn't hear or see a thing, instead I was looking at the sky thinking 'oh what a pretty day'…completely oblivious to the big steam train that was coming right for me. But then again people always do say hindsight is a wonderful thing. It was the small things really. I never got in trouble at school, not that I caused trouble…ever. But little things like chewing gum or laughing a little too loudly were completely overlooked whilst other students were reprimanded. It was like for some unknown reason I was untouchable. I always seemed to get whatever I wanted, not saying I asked for much: I am a rather simple kinda gal, but this was different! If I made an observation or said 'oh that's nice' it would suddenly appear…see what I mean about being oblivious?
Even when I finally met Him I still didn't register that little gleam in his eyes every time he looked at me or that look of total adoration he granted me every time he so much as glanced my way or that when I spoke he would focus his entire attention on me, like what I had to say could determine the future of all mankind. I didn't give a second thought when he said my name with such reverence or when he would stare at me so intensely that there might be something behind it. Looking back now I see it, I really do. I was so naïve then…so bloody naïve. He was the train, the big steam roller that was coming straight at me and I didn't realise it until it was too late, until I was in too deep.
I know this will probably sound rather weird but I didn't really think all that much about him when I first met him, he's the kind of person that you don't want to overthink, you just kind of want to let him go. There is this aura around him, unlike anything I've ever experienced. You simply know that's there is something about him; for example in those fancy shops where they have the displays 'look but don't touch' well that's what he is like, you should look but you shouldn't get too close. Actually that's a bad analogy as he hates when people stare at him. But anyway I guess that was my problem I got too close without even knowing it and before I could tell what I had done it was already too late.
But I'm not going to sit here and wallow in self-pity…to be honest I have done that enough recently. It's not that I am treated poorly or abused in any way. If anything it is the complete opposite; I'm treated like this glass figure, too fragile to be meddled with. I'll simply break if anything bad happens, which obviously is completely ridiculous. My every need is tended to immediately, the other day I had a headache and he freaked out, called in a specialist to check me out all because of a standard headache, do you see what I mean about being a glass figure?
I currently reside in the most beautiful mansion you have ever seen. It's like he plucked it straight out of a fairy-tale…Oh the irony! There are so many staff here who cater to my every whim; maids, drivers, gardeners, security, the list is endless, all to serve me and him. My life currently revolves around looking pretty, being obedient and singing.
Singing…I used to love singing, it always was my get away, the one thing that let me relax but now it feels like another thing that I've lost, another thing that doesn't belong to me anymore and that makes me sad but I dare not cry! He doesn't like it when I cry and he pampers over me enough as it is, if he found out I was upset he would drive me to distraction to find out what it is and I'm not sure I have to energy to deal with it.
He's currently not here, no he's away taking a phone call in his study, I normally go with him even there but today I told him I was too comfortable sitting here to move so he let me be but I think he will be back soon, can't leave me alone for too long it seems. To be honest I'm kind of regretting thinking about all this, as stupid as that sounds. When I think I get angry with myself for not seeing the bloody signs and then I get sad because I've lost everything I once held dear and then I get overly emotional and remember what I said about crying? So my life or should I say emotions revolve around a vicious cycle so I prefer to shut them off completely; like a tap. But sometimes we don't get what we want now do we?
I understand how confused I must sound and it's truly not my intention but I can't help it. One minute I'm angry about this whole farce and the next I'm somewhat content with this whole situation, weird as that is. Maybe I have Stockholm syndrome? But then again I don't really feel like I'm being held captive or anything…maybe that is a problem in itself. Anyways I'm getting another headache and I don't want that poor doctor to have to make another trip out here just to be told I'm fine so I'm going to try to stop thinking… which is surprisingly harder than it seems.
"Christine My Love? Are you okay? No getting another headache are you?" He asks, I can already hear the worry and concern in his voice.
"No no I'm fine, just relaxing" I say with a big smile trying to convince him, fingers crossed it works.
He seems to think about it before sitting beside me and placing his hand on my thigh, that's another thing, the constant touching! He's always touching me, whether it's holding my hand, running his hands through my hair or holding me, I can assure you in some way he's always touching me, it's almost like he doesn't feel right if he isn't touching me.
He pulls me closer to him and I rest my head on his shoulder before he kisses my head and whisperers his love for me, after a while I can't help but feel sleepy, being an emotional wreck can to that to a girl. Before I succumb to sleep I hear a whisper.
"Sweet dreams My Angel"
Thank you for reading! Please review!