DISCLAIMER: I do not own hetalia or any of it's characters or ideas. I also do not own the film True Lies, where inspiration and some of this was taken. Those all belong to their respective creators. People who are NOT me.

RATING: (M) for swearing. (Y) for YAOI!

PAIRING: PruCan/GilMat

STATUS: Incomplete

Word Count: 1184

This Fanfiction is an AU yaoi with human names involved and yes, there WILL be bum fun in the end. This is a two shot, I think and has not been beta'd. I do understand there will probably be errors here and there, but I will edit them later on.

*ghost car- unmarked squad car

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He watched as the young blonde hung up the phone with a suddenly excited look over his face before he scrambled to get his things together to dash out the door. Gil felt a bit of a stagger overcome him as he quickly acted and ducked around a corner, hiding behind one of the grey cubicles cluttered with personal affects in order to keep himself hidden from his little 'wifey'. How could this have happened? There was just no way this was happening. His cell phone was silently vibrating in his pocket, but Gil could not bring himself to awknowledge it. He couldn't even tell if he were standing or sitting anymore. Where did it all go wrong? Matthew got up and gave a bright smile towards a fellow worker who was giving him a thumbs up. He was nervous and yet so excited and thrilled.

"Don't forget to give him my number as well!" She cheered which only caused Matthew's face to bloom in a dark blush with a bit of a chuckle.

"Oh sure." A nervous laugh left him. "Wish me luck!" And as soon as the bright eyed man said it, he was gone. He had disappeared out the door and struck off down the busy streets to flag a cabby down. Gil left the building not long after Matthew but instead of flagging a cab, he walked blindly into the street with a sluggish step and a devestated veil hanging low over him. Cars honked viciously while a large city bus stepped on the brakes quickly, blaring it's horn at the albino as he dragged his feet across the street. Creep creep creep, BRAKE! The bus driver was urging him to move a little faster then he was by aiming to push him out of the way. Gilbert had no care.

It was at this point that Alfred- Gilbert's partner looked up from the burger stand he was eating at. His eyes popped from his skull nearly as hero mode set in and he bolted over towards the bus and Gil. He took Gilbert by the arm quickly to help him move before he punched the bus with his free hand.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shouted at the bus driver, removing Gil from the street to continue his moping on the sidewalk. "Jesus, Gil! What the hell were you thinking? What's wrong?"

"B-"

"Bus? Yea, the guy was a complete ass!" Gil shook his head, a stinging in his eyes.

"Birdie-"

"Mattie? What about him? Wasn't he at work?"

"Birdie's.. having an affair." The words constricted his throat and tightened his chest, a hard lump settling in place that he couldn't swallow. His heart was breaking apart and he couldn't recollect the pieces that fell. Alfred stared at him for a moment or two, an unreadable expression crossed his face before he gave Gil a hardy pat on the shoulder, gripping him when his hand fell in place.

"WELCOME TO THE CLUB!" He really shouldn't have been reacting this way, but too bad. Gil wasn't even really paying too much attention. "You've finally joined like the rest of us! What did you think was going to happen? You're gone all the time, you're never around. Matthew is a man of flesh and blood." Gil's eyes were unfocused as he stared at the pavement, but an anger was growing deep within him. His hands balled into tightly held fists.

"Not Birdie. He would never do this." He said. "Something's obviously wrong."

"Oh, lighten UP! It's not like he doesn't love you anymore, he just needs a good fuck from this guy, when he's had his fill, he'll come crawlin' back to you in no time-" Alfred suddenly cried out in shock as his back collided with their assigned *ghost car.

"Stop. Trying. To. Cheer. Me. UP!" Gil drew back a fist and drove it straight into Alfred's jaw before he pulled back with a grumble. Alfred stooped over once he was freed from Gil's vicious hold, a hand to his jaw to try and quell the pain.

"FUCK."

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The sound of forks and knives occassionally striking a plate could be heard as they worked their way through their meal. Matthew was cheerful as always while he went about his business that evening. He had prepared supper in record time and had greeted Gilbert with a sweet kiss when he had returned home from work. Mattie was still a little bit upset with Gil due to the previous night. Matthew had called Gilbert at work and asked if he would be home in time for his birthday- Gil had promised him he would and naught thirty minutes later did Mattie recieve a call from Gil's partner, Alfred, saying that Gil had 'forgotten something at the office'. Matthew knew this was a lie, but he let it slide His husband was a detective, what did he expect?

But all of that was forgotten. Matthew's day had been fantastic right from the start off. This was something Gil could definitely pick up on. He sat at the table across from Matthew while they ate in relative silence. For Gilbert, the tension was thick enough to carve with the steak knife he held in his grip, but he wasn't about to reach to the air to test that theory. He kept staring at Matthew, watching him eat and act as if there was nothing going on. As if there was no affair, as if this was all completely normal! Gil's jaw was set in determination, and he pulled on the best cheerful expression he could get.

"So, I went to your office today, Birdie." He began carefully, watching Matthew with each word that came out. "I was on your side of town and figured I would take you to lunch." Matthew froze for a moment and looked at Gil, a smile pulled over his lips- but Gil could tell it was a little strained.

"Oh really? You must have just missed me." Gil smirked and nodded.

"Yea. So, what happened today?" Weedle weedle weedle.

That was when the story began. Matthew trying to explain his way out of a rock and a hard place. The young Canadian thought he was doing very well at explaining away the afternoon and popped off some story of complete fabrication. Missing papers, broken copiers, an out of the way trip that had to be made. After all, if anything got out everything would be ruined. Matthew didn't want that.

"So an otherwise boring day with a highlighted lunch hour?" Gil forced the chuckle through his gritted teeth before he took another bite from the slab of meat on his plate. A little hint of maple flavouring- what was it with Matthew and maple syrup? He wasn't complaining, but he always found somewhere to put it! Were the possibilities endless? Possibly. He would have to do some of his own experimenting when this mess was sorted and done. Or when the man stealing his Birdie was dead, either of these options were good.