Author's Notes: So... hi. This is my second story, and it's been a long long while since my last one so do forgive me if I'm losing the craft. It's likely the case that not many people who read my first story really wanted this but it is what it is. I still am not too in touch with the fanfiction community so do tell me if I accidentally commit a social faux pas or two.

Anyway, the story. This is a retelling of the events of Fire Emblem Fates (or Fire Emblem If), not following one particular route or another (but it will certainly be much closer to one route than the others). This is an AU, with many changes that I will allow you to discover for yourself as the story unfolds. Suffice to say the backstory in this story is not the same as the backstory in the canon story. Many characters will behave differently for reasons that I hope will become clear eventually. As I also make use of characters who do not appear extensively in the game's main story there will also be reinterpretations of these characters. Some characters who are dead by the time the game begins will be alive here and I will make use of one character who isn't in the game. I won't call them an OC but they're far enough from their original portrayal that you can practically consider them one I think. Other characters will also develop into very different people than they are in the canon story (chiefly, Corrin).

Other miscellaneous notes in no particular order: Corrin is male. At least one major character will die. This story will take a darker tone than the canon one (I do hope to steer clear of edgy, masochism kind of dark though). There will almost certainly be no children characters. Not all characters will appear. The pairing will not be Corrin/Azura (nothing against this pairing personally but I feel that they feel canon enough that I should point that out early if I'm not going to reveal which pairing I'm going with). There will be a pairing which I will reveal when it actually develops into that. The story expects you to be familiar with the story of all three routes as well as Fire Emblem Awakening (though awakening isn't strictly necessary but you will be left quite confused at some points), if not you may still be able to follow the plot but you will also be spoiled. I have not played most of the DLC chapters so I do apologize if I clash with any of the lore (though I do try to check the wiki regularly to prevent this) but do point them out to me. I do not know entirely where the story will end up and I do expect school to get into the way of writing eventually which may mean there may come a long hiatus period. I have finished writing the first draft for 5-6 chapters and will release them as I receive feedback for each chapter and edit the coming ones.

Phew that was needlessly long. Anyway, I'm equal part dreading and anticipating the initial response. First chapter (really first few chapters) will be mostly setup but I do hope you enjoy the directions I'm taking these characters. I do hope I revealed (or create) facets to these characters you find fresh, interesting and believable. I hope you like the story and it would also help immensely to leave reviews, positive or otherwise. I especially like reviews that reference specific parts of the chapter but I'll happily take all kind. Honestly there's no such thing as too many reviews so leave them liberally. I just wanted to hammer that one home so I don't get the urge to nag for reviews later on (like I did last time). Enjoy!

Shroud of Rage, Chain of Grief

Chapter 1

I sit on a throne, alone, in the dark… too dark for me to discern whether this is father's throne room, but as I look up, my eyes meet a terrifying statue… a dragon... neither dusk, nor dawn... and not quite the silent dragon… Something about the statue scares me. It's too familiar…

My eyes then rest on three figures, each holding a mirror in their hand. I open my mouth to ask them questions, but my hand extends to beckon them instead.

The first man brings me his mirror, and as I look into it, I see my family. Xander sits on the throne, Camilla and Leo by my side, Elise on my shoulder. It was a beautiful image, an ideal world. I wish to reach out, to switch place with the me in the mirror. As I touch the glass, it cracks, and I recoil. The crack grows even after my finger leaves, and though I wish to question the man who brought me the mirror, my mouth refuses to move. As I watch the mirror cracks beyond recognition, I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

The second man brings me his mirror, and as I look into it, I see a family, and me. People I do not recognize act as if I am one of them. A samurai, a tomboyish woman, a grumpy fellow and a shy girl. It is unfamiliar… but pleasant, and I feel the urge to reach out for this world. But my hand grabs it and tosses it to the floor. My foot, even as I resist, stamps on the mirror, leaving nothing but shards. I weep inside as my body destroys a family I do not know. I feel the edge of my mouth curls upward.

The third man brings me his mirror, and as I look into it, I see happiness. Everyone in the previous two worlds are in this one as well, and in the midst of it all is me on my throne, looking like I belong there my whole life. To my side is an unfamiliar woman with blue long hair. I feel a great connection with this stranger and though we have never met I would trust her with my life and more. I reach out for the mirror, my hand shaking, but as I touch it, a black, thick liquid drips down from my hand, tainting the glass. I try to pull my hand back, but my fingers refuse to move until the mirror is nothing but a blot of blackness.

And the fourth man, who should not exist, brings me his mirror. As I look into it, I see grief and rage and misery and madness all at once. And as I wipe the glass to reveal what it hides, a pair of eyes stare back at me. Mine.

The last man leaves and I am once more alone on my throne.

And then I wake.

Corrin

"…Lord Corrin." A voice calls me. Soft and composed… must be Flora.

"Hey, wake up!" Another voice, cheerful and unrestrained, unlike what one would expect from a servant… definitely Felicia.

I ignore the sisters and turn over, covering myself with the soft blanket.

"Just give me…" I grumble. "… an hour or two… This would be too early even if I didn't spend all of last night reading…"

"That won't do my lord." Gunter chastises me. "Your brother is waiting."

"He can wait some more… By the gods why did I not object when he made our sparing schedule hideously early in the morning."

Jakob clears his throat. "I've taken the liberty of preparing your weapon and armor, my lord."

"Yeah… sure… those won't be going anywhere and neither will Xander in a minute…"

Gunter lets out a chuckle. "And neither will the king."

"Mm… yeah… he… what… what?" I catch Felicia giggling as I roll over in panic. "What was that about father?"

"King Garon will be personally watching over your match with Xander today, lord Corrin." Flora tells me, trying to stifle a giggle, a courtesy her sister has failed to show. "He hears you have been improving and wishes to gauge your progress personally, I have been told."

"Good god Jakob!" I exclaim, practically leaping out of bed, fumbling with my clothes. "Why did I not hear of this? Father will be here! I should have been awake hours ago, practicing! The last few weeks had been one fluke after another and I still couldn't manage to knock Xander off his feet and now you tell me father will be here seeing me embarrass myself!?"

"I did not hear of this either my lord." Jakob apologizes with more amusement than his words would suggest. "Gunter just recently informed me."

I turn to Gunter accusingly as I scramble to take off my sleep wear.

"My apologies, the king made explicit orders to keep this a secret." Gunter says. "He wanted to see how your usual performance is."

"My usual performance is getting knocked about by Xander for a couple of minutes before he tells me I'm improving somehow! Goodness gracious father will have my head… Jakob get my armor! I… what, Gunter?"

Gunter gently but firmly restrain my hands. What does he want? I need to change into my armor, father is waiting!

"I realize time is of the essence lord Corrin." Gunter tells me gently, a half-smirk on his face. "But I do think you should reconsider if you were about to strip off your last garment in front of these two young ladies."

Jakob chuckles as he goes to fetch my armor. What's so funny? What's wrong with… oh…

I notice both Felicia's hands on her mouth as she stares at me wide-eyes. Flora, on the other hand, had the modesty to avert her gaze. I feel a blush swiftly creeping to my face.

"I… uh… sorry about that." I stammer, quickly pulling my sleep wear back up. "Flora, Felicia, could you please… uh… fetch my sword for me?"

Gods that wasn't a euphemism for something was it? That was totally a euphemism for something wasn't it…

"Yes, Lord Corrin." Flora quickly nods and practically pulls her sister out of the room with her. As the door closes, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding as Gunter chuckle at my predicament.

"Next time you take off your attire in front of a lady, Lord Corrin, just remember to be courteous, and do not do so without your father's blessing."

I sigh, taking off my sleep wear once more as I await Jakob. "You think father would approve of me bedding a retainer, much less a servant?"

"Do you have a problem with that, Lord Corrin?" Gunter asks, more seriously than I expected.

"Of course not! Royalties, servants, people are just people and you don't choose your lover. But father won't allow me to leave my house, you think he'll approve of me choosing my own partner?"

Gunter smiles, relaxed. "My apologies, you are correct, of course. I don't know if your father would approve or not, but I can tell you he shares your view more than you think."

I turn to him, startled. "R-Really? How do you mean?"

Gunter smile fathers for a second. "My apologies, my lord, I shouldn't presume to speak for the king. Still… Lord Corrin should consider having more… prudence when it comes to matter of love."

I shake my head. "Gunter I'm locked up in my home, meeting less than a dozen people a month. If you ask me, lacking in prudence is the least of my problem with love."

Gunter lets out a light laugh and places a hand on my shoulder. "Of course my lord, and I do believe that when it comes down to it, in these matter you likely have more prudence than you realize." Again, his smile fades briefly. "But do keep what I said in mind."

Before I could reply, Jakob arrives with my armor. I catch a glimpse of the Flora waiting outside my room and again feel a creeping blush on my face. I quickly put on my armor and after checking with both Jakob and Gunter that everything's in place, I call Flora and Felicia in.

Flora hands me my sword with a composed expression… not that I would know. I can't bear to make eye contact so soon after that whole thing…

After sheathing my sword and checking for the third time that everything's in order and that I look presentable enough to appear before father, I dismiss the servants and head out to the courtyard.

"Good luck Corrin." Gunter calls out, before adding, slightly quieter this time. "Prince Xander favors his right side."

"Corrin." Xander greets me as I arrive. "You're late."

"Sorry..." I apologize. "I didn't know… Where's father?"

Xander nods toward father's direction, looking more concerned than anything else. "You should go greet him."

Leo quickly approaches me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "You're not that late." He tells me quietly, appearing more concerned than his words would suggest. "But father still had to wait. Go apologize, brother. Appear responsible and firm… that should appease father. Don't… 'cower', as father would put it. You should be fine… He doesn't seem to be in a bad mood… I think."

"Thanks Leo…" I reply.

"Go!" Leo pushes me in father's direction.

As I approach father, I realize how much I needed that advice. King Garon is an imposing person and unless I make a conscious effort not to I would likely "cower." I can still salvage this, I thought as I approach with my head held high and my back straight.

"Good morning, father." I greet, weighting his response.

"Corrin." Father says curtly, seemingly expecting more. Par for the course so far.

"I apologize for making you wait, father." I bow, hands behind my back. "I have no excuse. It will not happen again."

Did I stutter? I didn't stutter did I? Gods I can't see his face. How is he taking it? I didn't stutter did I? I…

"Mm." Father nods. "Go. Xander is waiting."

"Thank you father. I hope my performance today will not disappoint."

"See that it won't."

Thank the gods he wasn't angry. He wasn't angry right?

"Good job." Leo puts a hand on my shoulder. "Did you ever manage to beat Xander? Why is father here today?"

"Good god no! I don't know why he's here. I had no warning! I'd be pissing my pants right now if I wasn't making a genuine effort to not embarrass myself even further."

"Damn… I don't know what father's expecting… Still, it's best not to disappoint him."

"Yeah because there are plenty of ways to make myself look good being beaten to the dirt by Xander."

"You could beat him. That certainly won't disappoint father." Leo answers without a shred of irony.

"You're mad! You've seen our sparing sessions Leo! You know as well as I do how the fight will go down."

"I have indeed seen your sparing sessions. That's why I can tell you for a fact that you have a better shot than you think, brother. In any case if you don't think you have a chance just throw caution to the wind and wail at Xander."

"You think that will work?"

"No, but at least your defeat will look like courage at a distance. Father is less likely to be angry then."

"Geez thanks a bunch Leo."

He offers me a consolatory smile. "You're welcome. Good luck."

Xander gives me a hesitant smile before unsheathing his sword. "You know I can't go easy on you while father is watching right?"

I groan. "You're as much help as Leo was then…" Not that he ever held back before, one of the many things I'm grateful for.

Xander chuckles before composing himself. "Draw your weapon, Corrin. If you fight half as well as you did yesterday, father would be a fool to fail to recognize your strength."

Why does everyone insist on telling me I have a chance?

I unsheathe my weapon. A rare sword in Nohr, all things considered. Nohrian blades are well-equipped for slashing and blocking. I started out using the same during our sessions, but after watching a few of our matches, Leo gifted me a strange weapon on my birthday. He tells me it's called a Rapier, acquired on some foreign land. He thought it would suit my style more, and it did. The weapon is made for thrusting and riposting, but not much use for slashing or blocking. I had a real shot at beating Xander at first as he was unfamiliar with the strangely specialized weapon. It didn't take long for him to get used to it though and next thing I knew I was on the floor as always.

Still, I took a liking to the Rapier and improved my skills with it from then on. My smaller build seems well-suited for the slim yet deceptively heavy weapon. Leo tells me it's a weapon specifically designed for dueling and isn't exactly practical in the field, which makes it especially embarrassing that I still haven't won a single duel against Xander yet.

Well… first time for everything.

I lunge, hoping to take him off-guard. Xander easily deflects the attack however and bash me straight in the chest with his shield, knocking the breath straight out of me. Xander looks like he almost drops his weapon to see whether I was alright before we both remember that father's watching. Big brother shrugged off my first attack and felt the need to check whether I was okay before a second blow is even delivered… off to a great start, Corrin!

Sudden aggressiveness didn't work out, my next few thrusts were more measured, reflecting my usual style when I didn't have to hold back sweat due to father's constant judgmental gaze. I dare not turn to check his reaction.

Once more Xander shrugs off my attacks one by one, but at least this time I get a feel for his fighting style. He does indeed favor his right side, but his left side is no less impenetrable just by having a small shield in place. God I wish I asked for a shield.

Xander suddenly lunge between my attacks and thrust with his own sword. If he did this after my initial attack that would certainly be it for me. Fortunately, I'm confident in my defense and quickly dodged the blow and provided my counter, which Xander predictably block with his shield.

This is how it usually goes. I go on the defensive trying to find the non-existent hole in Xander's defense while dodging his attacks until he wears me down and go for the finish. Xander's endurance is, quite frankly, rather insane. By the end of the session I'll be on the floor with barely enough energy to get back up and Xander would have enough energy left in him to finish a war or two and then have a rematch when I finish catching my breath.

What can one expect? While I stay cooped up in my keep surrounded by servants and books, Xander was out there fighting day to day. Xander has both talents and experience. What do I have? Books and retainers and this damn fortress.

The fight proceeds as it usually does. With me being worn down by Xander's counter attacks and Xander shrugging off every single one of mine. This was a losing fight from the start. Why does everyone keeps telling me I have a shot at this?

Should I have practiced more? If I had more endurance than this the fight would have at least been watchable. What did I do instead? Fool around with my sisters and read whatever Leo brought me. If I had trained I would surely have a chance. Xander was so busy fighting, he didn't have the chance to have what I indulge in every day. This is the expected result.

I catch a glimpse of father as I slowly back away from Xander's attack. His face is as unreadable as ever. He could be a statue for all I know. He has always been quiet before he gets truly angry, I remember crying into my bed each time that happens. He would shout and sometimes he would even hit me. But the worst of it is when that didn't come. Like after my first fight with Xander where I fell after one single shield bash, sobbing as Leo pulls me up. Or when he sees Camilla treating me like a four years old child on my fourteenth birthday. Or when I cling to either Xander of Camilla, crying over inconsequential some matter or another. Father would just look at me and he wouldn't shout and he wouldn't raise a hand and he doesn't even shake his head like he sometimes does. I didn't understand what it meant but it always snapped me out of what I was doing. I could hear the words he didn't speak.

Not good enough.

Who can blame him?

Xander is the definition of Nohrian glory. From what I hear Camilla has her own brigade. Leo is a genius at whatever he attempts. Elise paints a smile on everyone's face whenever she's around, even father.

Corrin is surely defective. Corrin, a man old enough to marry, isn't strong enough to leave his fortress. Corrin cannot possibly be King Garon's child. Corrin doesn't belong here.

Another slash. I dodge instinctively, missing the blade by a hair's breath. I could see the panic in Xander's eyes when he thought I wasn't going to dodge it. Even now he's protecting his little worthless brother.

I look upon Leo, who shows the same concern. He has a hand under his chin as he often does whenever he's thinking, but that close blow must have taken his mind of whatever he was thinking about.

He had such high hope for me too… I'm sure even Leo could have put up a better fight than I could. It doesn't matter that he lacks the physicality, which he does not, his mind always makes up for it. He hones it with his books like… like I do... like he thinks I should…

What would Leo do in this situation?

Analysis. He always stressed the importance of information and preparation. Analyze your opponent. Know their strengths and their weaknesses.

Impossible. I've been fighting defensively, trying to find a hole in Xander's defense. There simply isn't one.

But what if I need to look elsewhere?

Leo always tells me to not rely on my strengths too much, a lesson he admits he sometimes forgets. An advantage when used as a crutch is no more than a weakness.

Xander is talented and experienced. His talent is never a crutch. He works hard and he trains constantly. And there's no way I can take advantage of his experience in battle… can I?

Reexamine your abilities. Know when to compensate for your weak points and when to focus on your strong points.

I fight with a rapier, an unusual weapon suitable for dueling. Its advantage lies in its speed and range, which has taken Xander off guard the first time around. I can't use his unfamiliarity with the weapon again... however…

I renew my defensive thrusts. Xander can sense I have a plan so he immediately goes on the defensive. I don't know if I have a plan, but I certainly have something. However, no matter what it is I can't have Xander be on the defense if I have any hope of succeeding.

Xander is stronger and more experienced. I need to use his experience against him. Experience comes through repetition; repetition comes with habits.

I can use this.

Xander fights on horseback, this gives him a distinct advantage. Right now he practically has a handicap. Horseback allows him mobility… but it also puts him in a certain mindset. His opponents are usually lower than him, as such he blocks low with his sword and uses his shield against other cavalry units. The horse is his lower body in a fight, and now he's without that.

I can use this.

My rapier is a rarity among Nohrian. Xander was unprepared for it the first time but he has learnt to adapt. He knows what it is capable of by now… However, he doesn't know what it's incapable of.

I can use this.

I think I'll take your advice Leo.

I lunge suddenly, unleashing a barrage of thrusts and slash. At a distance it would certainly looks like I have guts. However, to Xander I just look desperate and after redirecting one of my attack he prepares for a slash.

I elbowed him as hard as I can with my off-hand. He is much stronger than I and could likely shrug it off if he was prepared. He wasn't, however, and the surprised look on his face was enough to reassure me that his defense is down… or as down as it can be considering Xander. Let's see if it's down enough.

In my current position, a thrust would be impossible to accomplish before Xander slashes me with his sword. So instead, I perform a downward slash with my rapier down at his shoulder. Xander blocks it easily of course, even if he's unused to blocking high, he has dealt with swords often enough to block a simple slash like that in his sleep.

Against another rapier user however, that would have been it for me. One can certainly slash with a rapier, it's just impossible to penetrate any layer of armor with it. Whether by instinct, lack of understanding of the rapiers or blind reaction, Xander chose to block it when he could have simply take the blow unscathed and finish me off with his sword.

With his strength focused on his arm, Xander push my rapier back. He has exercised excessive force on his upper body for dealing with a rapier.

And that leaves his lower body unprepared.

With my leg I quickly sweep under him, knocking him on his back. As he falls I think I catch something resembling a pride in his eyes. I confirm that thought as I point my sword at his face. Xander drops his weapon with the most satisfied smile I've ever seen on a person.

"Corrin!" Leo shouts, with a similar hint of pride rather than surprise like I was expecting.

"We all knew you had it in you Corrin." Xander sits up. "I…"

"BROTHER!" I yell, hurling myself into him, throwing aside my weapon. "I've done it! I know you were at a severe disadvantage but even so… I wasn't a disappointment right? Tell me I wasn't! Tell me I have a place with you all!"

I couldn't see what kind of expression Xander had, but he was at loss for words. All he could do was put an arm around me. "You will always have a place with us Corrin." He answers, more confused at my question than anything. "I don't know what…"

Xander stops himself, noticing something. Did I do something wrong?

Suddenly I feel a hand on my head. I let Xander go in panic but remains too afraid to move away. The hand was large and rough, with hard smooth tips on the finger. I could almost feel myself being flung back. I… would deserve no less. I'm old enough to marry and here I am clinging to my older brother like a little baby. Father always hated that childishness. I should have remembered that he was here, watching. I close my eyes and await the tightening of his hand before he would yank me away from this shameful act.

But it never comes. Father rests his hand on my head, before rubbing it a little and let go. I dare not turn around for fear of proving myself wrong.

"Good job Corrin." Father says. "Xander, Leo, escort him back to his keep. Bring Corrin to the throne room after he had lunch."

"Yes father…" They both answer in unison, incredulous.

"Corrin, talk to Gunter. Ask for his advice about retainers."

With just that king Garon leaves us. I get up, not knowing what to think. Xander and Leo looks just as surprised as I am.

"Does he mean to…" Xander starts.

"Seems that way." Leo says.

"I…" I start, before calming myself down in an effort to be coherent. "I already have several retainers… Why do I need more, and now of all time?"

"With the exception of Gunter, your retainers aren't as well-suited for direct combat, and I guess father thinks Gunter is getting too old for this… which he isn't." Leo answers. "I think he was testing your strength Corrin… I think he's going to allow you to leave the North Fortress."

I make my way toward the throne room with Xander and Leo by my side, filled with equal part anticipation and dread. Xander and Leo seems immensely happy for me, and they escort me with more optimism than I could have mustered.

"Corrin!" Camilla calls out, making her way toward me. She seems to have waited for my arrival. "Sweet brother is it true? I hear you are to be able to leave the keep from today onward."

"Xander and Leo thinks so…" I answer. "I'm not certain… At any rate I think father wants me to pick my retainers."

"What happened?"

"Father personally watched over our last sparring session." Xander answers. "After Corrin won fairly father ordered us to take him to the throne room and asked him to consult Gunter for his choice of retainer."

My sister glared at Xander with a considerable amount of annoyance. "Father was watching and you still had to fight fair? Corrin doesn't have the experience and talent you have and father would not have taken his defeat kindly."

"I don't think I could have fooled father. Beside Corrin was clearly good enough. You need to have more faith in our little brother, Camilla."

Camilla bites her lower lip before turning her attention back to me. "Sweet brother, are you sure you're ready to leave the keep yet? Surely you should have time to prepare, be prepped on what the outside world is like. A retainer you never met shouldn't have that responsibility. I..."

Leo quickly grabs Camilla and pulls her aside. I couldn't make out their conversation but it's odd to see Leo acts in such a direct manner, especially toward our elder sister. When he finishes, Camilla looks more concerned than before and even a little apologetic.

"Sweet brother I'm sorry for being such an overbearing sister." Camilla says softly. "I'm proud of you. Whatever father's planning, I'm sure you can handle yourself as befitting a Nohrian prince and a grown man. But always remember that I'm here for you, Corrin."

"Thanks, Camilla." I answer more brightly than before. "I'll do my best. Incidentally, where's Elise?

"Is she with the soldiers again?" Xander asks with a hint of pride.

Camilla nods, a warm smile on her face. Noticing my confusion, she adds, "I'll explain it later, Corrin. We shouldn't keep father waiting."

Camilla joins Xander and Leo in escorting me. The rest of the walk is filled with Camilla's questioning Xander on how I did and whether I got hurt and how father reacted. When we reach the throne room, the queen stands outside, awaiting us.

"Good afternoon, Corrin." She greets. "Garon is waiting for you."

I bow along with my brothers and sister. "Good afternoon, your grace."

The queen here is not my mother, and as I understand it, not any of my sibling's either. If she has a child I've never met them. She has always been polite and courteous toward us, unlike her husband, but to me she always seems a bit… distant. I feel bad for having this thought, she makes more effort than most to get along with me and is unfailingly pleasant but she always seems a little… cold toward me.

Perhaps sensing my thought, the queen forces a smile. "Please, I may not be your… mother, but we are still family. You can drop the formality Corrin."

Still feeling a bit uneasy, I nevertheless return the effort she made to make me feel more welcome.

"Of course, lady Arete."