"Ultimate Ridonculous Race"
Rated T for a bit of language
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race or any of it's characters. Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, and all of its characters are owned by Fresh TV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. I also do not own anything associated with WWE, Hasbro, Mattel, Universal Pictures, Nickelodeon, Disney, Marvel, DC Comics, FOX, Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, Nintendo, Capcom, YouTube, MTV, Hanna-Barbera, Konami and such. Anyway, my good friend Jeff Hardy Fan VR1 insisted I do my own take on the Total Drama spinoff, the Ridonculous Race. Instead of 18 teams, we're going with 66 teams from your favorite games, TV shows, and cartoons as they travel around the world to race in the most excruciating challenges ever thought of in God's green earth! Anyway, sit still and enjoy!
Chapter 1: Introduction/Teams Revealed, Part 1
"This is once again Toronto, the capital of North America." The host said, "Birthplace of funk, where yet again, where the albino panther screams through the sky. Now beneath my manly-sized 13 rogues, 50 teams from your favorite franchises of TV shows, video games, cartoons and sports will arrive at this historic train station, ready to once again embark on a race around the world. If you think last season of the Ridonculous Race was any better, this season will get a lot bigger! More contestants, more places and more mayhem than you can shake a stick at! I'm Don, and this is... the ULTIMATE RIDONCULOUS RACE!"
As he shined his teeth, the scene transitioned to a montage of various places and vehicles that the contestants would be traveling with. They got a good look at the taxi that was placed on the screen, and when it opened, showed around 50 pictures of the teams that would be competiting. After that, it transitioned to a title card that read "ULTIMATE RIDONCULOUS RACE" on the front.
After the sequence ended, the scene transitioned to Don himself, who was walking
"Welcome once again to the Ultimate Ridonculous Race, where our 50 teams from across the country are readying themselves to embark on a race to the finish line and not to the death." Don replied. "I don't want anyone dying, otherwise I will get sued big time. Anyway, let's meet half of the 50 teams competing for a chance at the million dollars and a chance at not actually dying."
With the intro done, the scene flashed to the first team sitting on front of the bus. One of them had long purple hair with pink streaks right around the bangs and dressed like a colorful schoolgirl, while the other member had spiky blue hair and dressed in a black jacket with a single white-red line.
"Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, the Secret High School Sweethearts."
*Confession*
"It is so nice to be here competing on the Ridonculous Race," Twilight squealed. "It's always been a dream come true to be on a reality show like this. I hardly ever watched reality shows back at Canterlot, but when I heard about the Ridonculous Race, I had to take a look at it firsthand. Right there, I was immediately hooked. And it's so great we get to be in this season for a chance at a million dollars!"
"Plus, being in this season will definitely get my band much more exposure," Flash replied. "Just so you know, I'm in a band. So if we win that million dollars, I'm gonna use half it to get a new tour bus, instruments and if I have enough cash left on me, I'm gonna even open up a little studio so that me and Flash Drive could record awesome material for our soon-to-be-debut album! If that is if me and Twilight are still alive in one piece."
*FLASH!*
"Monty Monogram and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb, the Top Secret Lovebirds." Don replied.
*Confession*
"I'm really psyched about being in this show." Monty smirked. "The best thing about it is, our fathers don't even know what were doing."
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe the story I told my father when I told him I would be going to summer camp." Vanessa smirked as well. "I wish he wouldn't pack me so much bug spray. So Monty, how did you try to get on."
"Oh, I joined the army, all because they had free donuts for service members. But worth it to be here, I guess!" Monty chuckled.
*FLASH!*
"Heath Burns and Abbey Bominable from Monster High, the High-Schooled Monsters."
*Confession*
"Yeah baby, it really feeeeeels good to be here!" Heath exclaimed, feeling a little anticipated. "I mean, a race around the world? And I'm taking the hottest ghoul in school with me? This is definitely worth it."
"I feel same thing too." Abbey nodded. "I suggested to flame-boy here we be on the show. Of course, if we don't win, I crush nads everywhere."
"Hopefully not mine though, I'm a bit sensitive when it comes to my 'special guys'." Heath gulped.
*FLASH!*
"Hunter Huntsman and Ashlynn Ella from Ever After High, the 'Rebel' Couple."
*Confession*
"Me and Ashlynn are definitely in it to win." Hunter nodded. "Mostly, Ashlynn would object to some reality shows when a poor animal is killed. But if it's for that million bucks, than we'll try to do whatever that throws our way."
"Yeah, I'm gonna try not to get a little too sensitive whenever we have to harm an animal." Ashlynn nodded right before she started tearing up a bit. "Those poor animals...!"
Seeing her on the brink of tears, Hunter decided to hold her for comfort.
"It's okay, Ashlynn. There's nothing to worry about." Hunter smiled down at her.
Realizing that they were still filming, Hunter decided to close it out by smirking a bit embarrassingly.
"It's just gonna take a little time getting used to..." He smirked.
*FLASH!*
"Austin Moon and Ally Dawson from Austin & Ally, the Singer-Songwriters!"
*Confession*
"It is so good to be on a reality show quite like the Ridonculous Race," Ally replied. "Most reality shows are just so boring nowadays. But with me and Austin as a team, we're here to prove that were more than just your singing-songwriting team!"
"Totally." Austin nodded. "Our friends Trish and Dez are taking control of the Music Factory until we get back from the game. Hopefully, we'll get back with million dollars on our pockets. It is so gonna rule, I even wrote our victory song! Check it out."
Suddenly, Austin brought out his signature guitar and tried to play a chord, but Ally stopped him.
"Um, Austin, maybe we should wait until we win the entire race..." Ally replied.
"Aw, but I liked the victory song..." Austin groaned.
*FLASH!*
"Liv and Maddie Rooney from Liv and Maddie, the Twin Sisters!"
*Confession*
"We are stoked to be on the Ridonculous Race!" Liv squealed. "Of course with my acting skills on the hit show Sing It Looooooooud and my new show Voltage, we are sure to be a big hit! Hopefully, I won't break a nail while I'm at it."
"There's nothing to worry about, Liv. We've got the skills to pay the bills." Maddie reassured her. "Of course, if we get to Australia, I wouldn't wait to see Diggie. I bet he's a little homesick around me. But no matter what happens, me and Liv stick to the very end! BAM! WHAT?!"
*FLASH!*
"Tyler James and Nikki Ortiz from Dog With A Blog, the Long-Distance Couple!"
*Confession*
"Me and Nikki have been waiting for this moment ever since we've gotten back together." Tyler smirked. "When she returned from El Salvador, she got an application, telling me we've just been invited to compete in this season. Talk about a welcome back gift for sure.
"Yeah, I must admit that we've been way too distant from each other for quite a long time now." Nikki nodded. "But now that were on Ridonculous Race, me and Tyler can finally spend time with each other! It's been so long!"
"Awww, it's been so long for me too." Tyler blushed at Nikki.
"I know, right?" Nikki blushed at Tyler.
After seconds of staring into each other's eyes, both Nikki and Tyler decided to share a passionate kiss with each other.
*FLASH!*
"Alan and Jake Harper from Two and a Half Men, Father and Son."
*Confession*
"I must admit, being on this show with my son is definitely a wonderful experience," Alan replied. "As you may know we haven't been communicating well with each other since Jake here spends time on his iPhone all the time. So I figured that the best way to communicate well to him is that me and Jake compete on this little reality show. He knows how much he loves being on TV."
"Hey dad, are we gonna see boobs?" Jake smirked as he was messing around with his phone.
"What is it with you and boobs?" Alan raised his eyebrow.
"I don't know, I just wanna see boobs." Jake shrugged. "It's the only reason why I came here."
"Kids these days..." Alan rolled his eyes.
*FLASH!*
"Steve Urkel and Carl Winslow from Family Matters, the Neighbors."
*Confession*
"Being one of Chicago's finest police officers, it is my duty to make sure that no harm gets to us." Carl replied. "As long as Urkel does what I say and listens to me without screwing up, we'll do fine for sure."
"I've known the big guy ever since I fell head-over-heels with her daughter Laura." Urkel replied. "As long as I don't think about her much too often, we'll do great. Because believe me, once they see us butterflies, we're gonna sting them like bees!"
Urkel then got up out of his seat and pull off his excellent footwork while punching...
...
...
...only for one his punches to hit the entire camera screen itself, breaking a little bit. Feeling a little embarrassed, Steve turned to Carl with these words:
"Mmm, did I do thaaaaaaat?"
*FLASH!*
"Al and Peggy Bundy from Married... With Children, Husband and Wife."
*Confession*
"Alllllll, I don't want to be here. It's too drafty." Peg whined, shaking her leg back and forth like always.
"Sorry Peg, drafty is what drafty gets." Al groaned. "Look, we're not gonna rant out our thoughts on this competition. But with one major exception: When we do win, I'm keeping all of it, Peg! That means, you're not spending the winning money on bon-bons and plates with Oprah's face on them! I won $500 bucks last time at a raffle and you spent it all on 17 cans of bulky tampons! It's not happening this time, Peg!"
"But Allllllll, I want some tampons so that I won't have to leak between my leeeeegs!" Peg whined again.
All of her whining ended up making Al having to fake-hang himself out of his misery.
*FLASH!*
"Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter, the Karate Rivals."
*Confession*
"This is gonna be quite the test for me." Ryu replied. "We've never been on a reality show before, mostly because we're too busy competing in Street Fighter tournaments."
"But now that we're on Ridonculous Race, we're gonna show the whole world what Ryu and Ken are made of!" Ken exclaimed. "And if you're asking ladies, I'm already taken and off the market. But Ryu's single to mingle!"
"Um, I'm not sure I wanna date anyone yet..." Ryu said, blushing a little in shame.
"Nonsense, you'll be a big hit with the ladies!" Ken exclaimed. "Just this morning, I put your underwear up on eBay with your name on them!"
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Ryu reacted in shock.
*FLASH!*
"Mario and Luigi from Super Mario Bros., the Plumbers."
*Confession*
"It is a-great to be here!" Mario exclaimed. "Me and my brother have always faced the tightest of challenges such as beating a-Bowser and saving the Princess Peach! I know this is one challenge me and Luigi plan to conquer, don't you think?"
"You got that right, my brother!" Luigi nodded. "Whether we're race-car drivers, doctors or athletes of any sport, we got this in the bag!"
In exchange, both Mario and Luigi fist-bumped each other.
*FLASH!*
"Dolph Ziggler and Lana from the WWE, the Blondes."
*Confession*
"Me and Lana have been pretty tight for nearly two months now," Ziggler smirked. "We're just high on our tails, trying to get away from that brute Rusev and that commie lover known as Summer Rae. They're like annoying gnats for sure. But regardless, me and Lana came here to do two things in Ridonculous Race, and that's: Show. Off."
"He loves to steal the show everytime, it's what I like about him." Lana nodded to the camera.
However, her eye started to twitch a little.
"But whenever I ever think about that hussy Summer Rae, I just wanna smack the rest of her lipstick loose!" Lana snapped a little. "I'm pretty certain she's got those babies strapped to her like fake lips."
"Don't you just love that, folks? Lana's just one big firecracker!" Dolph smirked again to the camera.
*FLASH!*
"Joey Wheeler and Mai Valentine from Yu-Gi-Oh, the Duelists!"
*Confession*
"Aw yeah, Joey Wheeler's back in the saddle again, baby!" Joey cheered for himself. "I wanna say shout-out to Yug, Tea, Tristan, Duke, Bakura, and my good sis, Serenity! Wait for me, sis! Joey's coming home with all the moolah, baby!"
"Joey, you do realize you won't be getting all the money, right?" Mai sighed. "Believe it or not, I may want some of the cash too. So that means I'm actually getting half and you're getting half. Sounds simple, huh?"
Hearing this, Joey stopped celebrating and cleared his throat.
"Oh, um, I knew that Mai..." Joey chuckled. "Just got caught up in the moment, that's all."
"Heh, you always do, Joey." Mai chuckled back.
*FLASH!*
"Angry Video Game Nerd and the Nostalgia Critic, the Angry Critics."
*Confession*
"I don't know what the f**k I'm doing there." The Nerd scowled. "I'd rather play Hong Kong 97 with my underwear wrapped around my neck than to be on this awful piece of goats**t. I rather have a one-night-stand with Sasquatchanakwa than to play this horrid piece of s**t wrapped in bacon. But if it's worth the million dollars, than I'm gonna strap on my f***ing Power Glove, because it's about to get totally bumpy from here."
"I agree with you on that, nardbucket." The Critic nodded. "Those teams are like gonna be Owen's poopy ass in Total Drama Island and my nose, completely wiped out!"
"Yeah, that was a horrible poop joke there." The Nerd cringed.
"Sorry, I tried there." The Critic shrugged.
*FLASH!*
"Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, the Scientists."
*Confessional*
"I'm very excited to be on this show." Leonard smiled. "I know Penny couldn't come along since since she's already sick, but I'm still excited. As long as Sheldon doesn't bark orders like a skinny anorexic Hitler, we'll do just-"
"Leonard, I wanna switch seats! This seat's too cold!" Sheldon complained.
"For the last time, Sheldon, you're not getting the warm seat!" Leonard exclaimed. "Stick to what you've got!"
"Wow, you're a cranky bird, that's for sure." Sheldon scowled at Leonard, therefore remaining in his seat.
*FLASH!*
"Xander and Emma Ross from Bunk'd, the Camp Counselors."
*Confessional*
"This is so great and so awesome! Me and Emma are way skilled when it comes to handling kids at a summer camp." Xander smirked.
"Yeah, especially when we have to pick up their snot on the floor." Emma nodded. "Then, it gets ugly from here."
"Believe me, we saw a big kid sneezed so loud, one of the snot nuggets looked too much like Hazel." Xander reminded everybody. "I think it got the hair right, that's for sure."
"Yeah. Rule number one at Camp Kikiwaka: Stay away from Hazel." Emma reminded everyone as well.
*FLASH!*
"Stewie Griffin & Brian Griffin from Family Guy, the Talking Baby and Dog."
*Confessional*
Brian was shown drinking one of his usual Martini's while Stewie looked so excited.
"Oh my-lanta! It is sooooo amazing to be on the Ridonculous Race!" Stewie exclaimed. "I have never been on a reality show before, let alone a real show before. Who knows? Maybe I was, I can't tell for sure. But how great would it be to win those million dollars! With that kind of money, I can build that fantastic greenhouse I've been wanting to build for quite some time now! Isn't that right, Brian?"
Not even listening to what Stewie was saying, Brian finished his drink and turned to the left.
"Can I get another glass here? This raspberry-flavored martini is amazing." Brian replied.
"See? He's excited already!" Stewie exclaimed to the camera.
*FLASH!*
"Red and Kitty Forman from That 70's Show, the 70's Couple."
*Confessional*
"I don't know what I got myself into." Red sighed. "Having to deal with fifty-nine other dumbasses? It's like living next to multiplied Bobs."
"Oh, he's just kidding, folks!" Kitty smiled to the camera. "Just so you know, he's just happy-happy-happy to be here! Of course, Red's always has to be careful of his heart. He tends to get a little cranky if he doesn't get his heart medicine. But like I said, we're happy to get this once-in-a-lifetime chance."
"I'm hungry. Are there donuts around here?" Red said, looking around.
"You just wait until we're finished!" Kitty snapped at her husband.
*FLASH!*
"Geoff and Bridgette from Total Drama, the Surfing Couple."
*Confessional*
"WHOO-HOO!" Geoff hollered out. "Man, it is so choice to be back once again! Yeah, I know Brody won't be there this time around, but it's awesome that my girl Bridge is here with me this time! It's been a long time coming!"
"I know! Competing without you is totally driving me crazy!" Bridgette sighed. "But at least this time, we'll finally be able to focus on the competition for once. Last time we've competed in a season together, we got voted off of Total Drama Action. But no more distractions! This time, we're going all the way! Right, Geoff?"
"You know it, babe!" Geoff nodded in unison.
And then out of nowhere, Geoff and Bridgette went at it like wild dogs, making out like crazy.
*FLASH!*
"Well people, you thought we were done yet with our contestants?" Don raised his eyebrow. "We still got a long way to go! That was just part 1 of our teams reveal! After the break, we reveal 20 more teams after this word from our sponsors, here on the ULTIMATE RIDONCULOUS RACE!"
Suddenly, Don ended up flashing his teeth, therefore commencing to a commercial.
Well, this is gonna be fun. Anyway, here's the team lineup so far!
1. Flash Sentry & Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls) - The Secret High-School Sweethearts
2. Monty Monogram & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb) - The Top Secret Couple
3. Heath Burns & Abbey Bominable (Monster High) - The High-Schooled Monsters
4. Hunter Huntsman & Ashlynn Ella (Ever After High) - The Rebel Couple
5. Austin Moon & Ally Dawson (Austin & Ally) - The Singers-Songwriters
6. Liv Rooney & Maddie Rooney (Liv and Maddie) - The Twin Sisters
7. Tyler James & Nikki Ortiz (Dog With A Blog) - The Long-Distance Couple
8. Alan Harper & Jake Harper (Two and a Half Men) - Father & Son
9. Leonard Hofstadter & Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) - The Scientists
10. Steve Urkel & Carl Winslow (Family Matters) - The Neighbors
11. Al Bundy & Peggy Bundy (Married... With Children) - Husband & Wife
12. Ryu & Ken (Street Fighter) - Karate Rivals
13. Joey Wheeler & Mai Valentine (Yu-Gi-Oh!) - The Duelists
14. Mario & Luigi (Super Mario Bros) - The Plumbers
15. Dolph Ziggler & Lana (WWE) - The Blondes
16. Geoff & Bridgette (Total Drama) - The Surfing Couple
17. Xander & Emma Ross (Bunk'd) - The Camp Counselors
18. Angry Video Game Nerd & Nostalgia Critic - The Angry Critics
19. Red Forman & Kitty Forman (That 70's Show) - The 70's Couple
20. Stewie Griffin & Brian Griffin (Family Guy) - Talking Baby & Dog
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Get ready for next chapter a.k.a. Part II since we've got 46 left to go. Will your favorites be in? Feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off!