Once upon a time The American Dream was born. It was a grueling birth because the baby was breach, which is actually a quite common occurrence with ass babies. So common in fact, that both ass babies were breach.

"Oh, Gatsby! Isn't it amazing how we both went into labor at the same time?" asked Nick as he squatted over the birthing pan.

"Quite amazing, old sport!" Gatsby responded, grasping Nick's hand and pushing as hard as he could, as if he were taking a massive living dump.

Then they stared into each other's eyes with such lust and passion, it was almost obscene. Just then, the babies each slipped gracefully from their father's prolapsed anuses and plopped gracefully into their respective birthing pans.

"Oh, Gatsby! It's wonderful, just wonderful! Look at our beautiful little girls!" said Nick, scooping his baby up in his arms.

Overcome with emotions, Gatsby's mind was taken back to the night when their babies had been conceived. Gatsby had just taken a swim in his swimming pool. Things had been tough the night before. Daisy ran that bitch over with his car, and everything was so confused! He was hoping she would call, or maybe even stop by, but who did stop by surprised him indeed!

"Nick, what are you doing? Don't you have to get to work, old sport?" said Gatsby, flexing his bulging biceps in his teeny tiny swim suit.

"Yeah I did but… I just…" distraught and emotional, Nick struggled with what to say.

"What's the matter, old sport?"said Gatsby as he gracefully floated up to Nick, coming within inches of his face and placing a hand on Nick's waist.

"I… love you!" Nick exclaimed as he grabbed Gatsby by the collar of his swimsuit and pulled him in for a kiss.

Flabbergasted, Gatsby stumbled backwards, "Nick… I… You know I love Daisy! You know we're to be married!"

Nick began to cry, and his mascara ran down his face like beautiful black waterfalls, "I know… but I thought you of all people would understand what it feels like to love someone from afar, knowing they are taken, but hoping deep down that they really love you!"

"Oh, old sport! How could I have been so blind to your love?" said Gatsby in a loud, distraught voice.

"Itokay baby, we be together now," Nick said as he sauntered up to Gatsby's side and seductively placed his hand on Gatsby's bulge.

Then made out with such passion and intensity that the bullet that was aimed at Gatsby was deflected by the power of their intense and passionate love. Then that guy was all like! Wow! These dudes be in love. I better leave em be and go kill Tom instead cuz he's a JERK!

Then they did it in the swimming pool. It was hot, but not really because the water helped to cool them off.

Flash-forward: present day. Gatsby and Nick were holding their butt babies, The American Dream and Old Sport. They grew old together, but their babies were vampires and stayed young and hot forever. Then when they died they went to yaoi heaven and partied alongside the yaoi gods, Shrek and Shadow.