This fic is also availble on AO3 and can be found under the username 'watermelonriddles' :)
I think this is the hardest winter we've faced since it all started. The snow doesn't seem to slow them down any, and watching them slip on ice stopped being funny after the first few times. It stopped being funny when it started to affect us.
We're struggling to grow anything because the ground is too hard. Going on runs is scarce because even with the extra clothing that we've managed to find, it's too cold. There have been some accidents. People getting wet while out on runs and struggling to get back into the warmth because of the walkers outside the fence. Luckily it was never long enough to cause permanent damage, but Daddy's worried. I don't think he knows how we'll cope if something really bad does happen. It's funny. The walkers are the least of our worries for once.
"Hey, darlin', what ya writing?"
Beth glanced up to see Merle leaning in the doorway of her cell. His arms folded over his chest, a hint of a smile on his face, but to her surprise, there was no sign of teasing. It seemed to be a genuine question, like he might actually be interested in the answer.
"I'm writing about what's happening."
"Like a diary?"
Beth closed the notebook over and sat up on the bed. "More like a log. You know, to keep track of things that have happened and when they happen."
"You write in that every day?" he asked, moving his head to indicate the notebook.
"Most days, as often as I can." Beth pushed the notebook beneath the pillows. She wasn't about to tell Merle that it used to be a diary before she started to do it for more than that. "I think after all this is over, somebody might find it. Then they'll know what we had to go through."
This time he really did look amused. "You think this is all going to end?"
"I have no idea," Beth told him honestly. "But I have to believe that we can make it better, at least for us."
He didn't say anything for a moment. He seemed to be thinking it over. Eventually, he just motioned outside of the cell.
"We found some extra blankets, you're one of the first to get one."
Beth shuffled off the bed and made her way over to him. "Why am I one of the first?"
"Woman and children get the first pick," he explained.
"I hope I fall under the first category," Beth mumbled as she pushed past him. "Plus, I can wait it out too."
He didn't say anything. He just followed her out to the main area. Everyone was crowding around the pile of blankets on the table. Carol had one wrapped around her, and another wrapped around Judith who sat in her lap. Michonne hadn't claimed one yet, but Glenn was passing one to Maggie.
"What about those on watch?" Beth asked as Rick handed her a blanket and then wrapped a second one around her shoulders.
"Daryl took them some," Rick said. "Don't worry, there'll be enough for everyone."
"Yeah, but there's not going to be enough for two each," Beth said, working it all out as quickly as she could.
"Well, how about this?" Rick said, looking to the rest of the group. "Judith is small so she doesn't need another one, plus, she can share with whoever is taking care of her. Everyone on watch can have an extra blanket seen as they're outside. After that, whoever really needs one will get one."
"And if we need to give up one of ours that's okay," Maggie said, indicating Glenn. "Especially at night, we share a bed so we have body warmth."
"See?" Rick said softly, placing a reassuring hand on Beth's arm. "Everything will work out. This weather can't last too long."
"Well I'm willing to give up my extra blanket if someone needs it," Beth said, holding up the blanket in her arms.
When Beth woke up in the middle of the night, shivering so bad her bones hurt, she suddenly regretted giving her extra blanket away. The second that thought escaped her she felt guilty. There were others without an extra blanket and she had given hers to her father who was too stubborn to admit he needed one. She was at the very least thankful that the winds couldn't get in, but there was still a draft, and as time wore on it just made it colder.
Sitting up in bed Beth rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm herself up. When that didn't seem to work she got out of bed, knocking her blanket aside. She opened up her clothes drawer and pulled out a cardigan. She put it on over the jumper and t-shirt she was already wearing before pulling on her shoes to keep her feet a little warmer.
Pulling her sleeves down over her hands she grabbed the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around herself. She held the blanket closed with one hand and used the other to pull her hood up as she left the cell. It was going to be just as cold no matter where she went, but she didn't want to just sit around in her cell doing nothing. Perhaps the slight change in scenery would cause some kind of distraction. At least that's what she kept telling herself.
Looking left to right nobody seemed to be out of their cells. She moved over to the table closest to the wall and sat down. She put her back against the wall and drew her legs up. She rubbed her arms and her legs hoping, once again, to create some kind of warmth for herself.
"Here."
She almost jumped. She hadn't heard any sounds to indicate that someone was approaching. When she looked up Merle was standing close to her, holding his blanket out. His only blanket. His hand was shaking a little so she knew he was cold.
She shook her head. "You need that."
"I could hear you shaking from my cell," he said, still holding the blanket out. She knew that was a lie but she didn't say so. Instead, she just shook her head at the blanket again, but he was persistent. "Come on, angel. Take it."
The softness in his voice caught her off guard. Just the other day he got so angry he dented the side of one of their cars with a crowbar. And a couple of weeks ago he drank so much that he practically stripped naked in front of everyone just because he was finally feeling some heat. Now he was speaking softly, calling her angel, and offering her his only blanket.
"Are you tired?" she asked him.
He frowned. "Not really."
"Good, me neither," Beth said, standing up from the bench. "We can share the blankets between us. Body heat will help more than if I just take both blankets."
"I can just imagine your sister's face if she heard ya say that," Merle said, grin in place.
Beth rolled her eyes and led the way to her cell. "My sister is probably nice and warm thanks to Glenn and their blanket, so she really has no right to judge."
Once they were in her cell, Beth climbed onto the bed first. She sat with her back against the wall. Merle climbed on next, ducking extra low to avoid hitting his head on the top bunk and sat beside Beth. Once they had settled Beth put her blanket over their legs, and Merle put his around the rest of them. They huddled close together.
"Last place I ever thought I'd find myself."
Beth gave him a look. "Trust me, I never expected to find myself next to a drunk who also happens to be a drug addict."
"I haven't taken any kind of drugs since before I got to Woodbury," Merle said.
"You still drink too much and you have anger issues."
"Oh, and you're so perfect?"
"No. If I was, I wouldn't be here with you." They both shared a look for a moment, expressions blank, but then Beth cracked and couldn't hide her smile. Merle returned it, shaking his head a little.
"I think you're the first person to joke with me."
Beth shrugged. "Maybe I do it because I know you won't hurt me."
"How do you know I won't?" he asked curiously.
"Because you don't have it in you anymore," she said like it was simple. "Plus, Daryl would never forgive you if you did and you need him."
Merle scoffed. "Give yourself more credit. It's about more than what my brother might think."
Beth studied him for a moment. Then she realised it was what she might think of him if he hurt her. After a moment she smiled up at him before resting her head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, he just let her be.