I know I haven't posted anything new in a while, and I have no idea if this even makes sense, or if it's well written. I just started writing and didn't stop. I've had a lot going on right now, and on top of that, I have had major writers block. Then today, I was laying bed with my music playing, and a song spoke out to me. I needed to write something. So, I wrote this one shot that was inspired by the song Lips of an Angel by Hinder.
Sometimes when the universe wants something to happen, it's going to happen no matter what—that was Lucas' exact thought when he saw Riley waiting for him in his bedroom with a big envelope. He gets taken back to freshmen year where they both were afraid their relationship had reached the end when Mrs. Matthews got the job offer in London, and they were both relieved when Mrs. Matthews decided to stay in New York, yet their senior year is here, and Riley is holding the big envelope from Cambridge University—everyone knows what the big envelope means.
The pair talked about what would happen if Riley got accepted when she applied. They were hopefully for the future of their relationship, the way they have always been, but the thousands of miles that would be there is separate them made them a tad bit doubtful.
Lucas and Riley both felt a range of emotions when Riley finally opened the envelope. Her parents pleaded with her to open it with them, but Riley wanted it to be a moment between her and Lucas because she wasn't exactly sure how she was going to react. But, when she opened it, neither one was sure how to react.
Riley was happy she got in, considering she thought it was a long shot, so for her to see her acceptance letter she was more than proud of herself; however, there was the fact that the school was all the way in England, and what did that mean for her and Lucas' relationship. As for Lucas, he was thrilled for Riley and he made sure that she knew that; however, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel an ache in his chest, and he felt like his world came crashing down.
Riley waited to the last minute possible to decide what school she wanted to go to. Everyone knew what school she wanted to choose, herself included, but she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. If she did, did that mean she was choosing a school over Lucas or was she choosing herself?
When she finally told everyone what she chose, everyone seemed happy, even Lucas—no matter how much it hurt him.
That summer they made sure to create as many memories as they possibly could together, trying their best to forget what was soon to happen. Each day passed was a memory neither was ever going to forget, but it was also another day closer to Riley leaving.
The night before Riley's departure, Lucas and Riley spent the night together, like every other night. Riley tried her hardest to hide her cries, and Lucas tried his hardest to be strong. They weren't ready to say goodbye to one another, not one single bit. They didn't want this to be the end of their story because there was still so much to tell.
They didn't want to talk about the possibility of the distance being too much. Both of them believed if any two people could overcome the distance, it would be the two of them. They were hopelessly in love, and in way shape or form were neither ready to walk away, so they said everything was going to be okay—because that is what they believed.
Their first year they made it out as a couple. The time change was hard at first, but they manage to figure out times where they were able to talk, even if it was at ridiculous times of the day for either of them. They made sure they spoke every single day. Riley flew home to New York for her winter break, and Lucas was there at the airport waiting for her with open arms, and they had the cliché airport reunion scene. The same thing happened when Riley returned home for summer.
The second year is when things started to get a little rough. Talking to each other almost became impossible. On top of school, Lucas started interning at a veterinarian clinic, and he had gotten a part time job. Riley was interning at a book publication, and her boss was having her work ridiculous hours. She was just happy that it was a paid internship. Life had taken over.
Trouble started when Riley wasn't able to return home for winter break, and Lucas wasn't able to fly to visit her. They were both disappointed. They hadn't seen each other in a few months, and it didn't look like they were going to be seeing each other for a few more.
When the spring semester started, things only got worse. Riley and Lucas were lucky to talk once every few days, and it seemed like when they did talk, it was only for them to fight. The distance was slowly starting to get in the way. It was something in the back of their heads both knew was a big possibility of happening, but neither one ever wanted to say out loud. It was something that was happening.
In April is when things ended. Their arguments became frequent, and if they wanted to preserve any hope of them staying friends, breaking up was the right things to do.
That summer Riley didn't return home. She stayed in England. She feared that she would run into Lucas, and they would reconnect, and the cycle would begin again because she was going back. She had two more years. She couldn't go through it again, and she couldn't put him through it.
That summer they talked every so often, and when their third year of college started they still talked, but it was less pressure. They knew what they meant to each other, but without the label of the relationship put less pressure on them. Although, being friends was never going to be enough for them.
Winter break came, and Riley was only able to go home for a little over a week, and even than Lucas was too busy with school, work, and his internship for the pair to spend any real time together. When they did, they were never alone, but maybe it was for the best. Nothing was going to change, Riley was going to go back and Lucas was going to stay.
When their spring semester started, both Riley and Lucas started to welcome new people in their lives, but neither wanted the other to know because the people that they were welcoming into their lives were a little more than friendly.
Summer finally came, and yet again, Riley didn't return to New York. She knew about Lucas' new friend, and she wasn't ready to see that. Lucas on the other hand was more than disappointed that Riley wasn't going to be returning for the summer. That meant she was going to be England spending time with her new friend.
Although both seem to have taken a step forward in moving on, they still made sure to talk to one another. Talking became an essential thing for the two of them—they needed it, no matter how much their significant other disapproved of it.
It was now their fourth year, and they still continued to talk despite what their significant others thought. It came to the point where they started to hide their friendship because they didn't want to cause fights. The right thing would have been to shut communication off completely, but they weren't ready to close the book on their friendship—even though they closed it on their relationship.
Winter break came again, and Riley is going home for winter break. However, she wasn't going alone, she's bringing her new boyfriend with her. She didn't have the heart to tell Lucas, but she made sure to tell their friends so the word would get back to him—it did.
It didn't take long for Riley and her new boyfriend to run into Lucas once they were in New York, considering the fact that they shared mutual friends. But, what Riley failed to prepare herself for, is how she would feel once she saw Lucas with his new girlfriend.
Both their hearts dropped to their stomachs, and their bodies filled with jealousy when either saw the new significant others showed any sorts of affection. It seemed like Riley's boyfriend and Lucas' girlfriend amped it up because they knew the extent of the Riley and Lucas story and what they both meant to each other. It was hard for Lucas to see someone kiss Riley who wasn't him, to hold her, to gaze at her, and it was equally as hard for Riley to see someone cling onto Lucas who wasn't her.
The days seem to pass by faster than Riley had like. She wasn't ready to go back to England, she wasn't ready to be far away from Lucas; even though he wasn't her boyfriend.
It was the night before Riley was going to be leaving back to England, and Riley is having a hard time falling back asleep after the dream that she had. She looks over to the person sleeping next to her, she knows how wrong all of this is. Her eyes find the clock that is mounted on her wall, and with the city lights that light her room she can barely make out the time—1:37 am.
She knows she shouldn't, but she can't shake the thought from her mind. She slowly pushes herself out of bed, making sure not to wake the sleeping person, and grabs her phone before quietly tip toeing out of her room and into the living room.
Lucas feels heaviness in his chest as he thinks about the fact that Riley leaves tomorrow. He looks down at the blonde who is sleeping on his chest, and he can't help how wrong it feels. But, that didn't mean he didn't care about the sleeping girl, just not the way he cares about Riley, not even close.
He looks out his window, and he can see a glimpse of the moon and the light that shines from it, and his thoughts immediately run to Riley and her staring at the sky, the summer they spent together before she left and all the star gazing they tried to do here in the city.
Lucas gets pulled out of his memories when his phone starts vibrating on top of his bedside table. He quickly grabs it, pressing the button on the side to silent it so it wouldn't wake up his girlfriend. He holds the phone out in front of him squinting slightly because of the light. He blinks a few times making sure he is seeing correctly, and when the name becomes clearer, he can fill nerves filling his stomach.
He slowly pulls himself away from the girl's grasp and out of bed. Lucas didn't think twice about answering. If she was calling this late, then it had to be important. He glances in the direction of the sleeping blonde and down at his phone. He takes a deep breath before hitting accept.
Hello? His voice is in a whisper, just as opens his bedroom door.
Lucas, Riley says quietly with a slight sniffle.
Riley, what's wrong? Are you crying? The concern in his voice is evident, but so is the anger. Anger of the thought that maybe it was her new boyfriend that made her cry.
She shakes her head even though she knows he can't see her. She just doesn't trust her voice right now. She can feel a tear trickle down her cheek. It's nothing. She mumbles.
We don't lie to each other remember? I promised I'd be here for you, and that's what I want to do, but you have to be willing to talk to me.
Riley lets out a deep sigh. It's silly.
Nothing is silly if it has you upset. Lucas says with so much passion, but still making sure his voice isn't too loud.
I had this beautiful dream of you and I. She sniffles again. It was so normal. We were laying down in bed. My head on your chest and our legs tangled together. The TV was playing in the background, but we weren't watching it. We were so lost into our conversation talking about the future we want together—the way we always did...Lucas, it's felt so real. More tears start falling from her eyes, and she tries her best to swallow back her sob. I woke up, and I felt arms around me. For one whole second, I thought it was you. I thought you were the one lying next to me. But, when I looked over it wasn't, it was Nathan. Silence falls between them, and Lucas' stomach turns at the mention of her boyfriend's name. He can hear her sniffle, and he pushes his back against the wall next to his bedroom door. Lucas wants nothing more than to hold her in his arms.
Riley is sitting in her parents' dark living room with her knees to her chest, trying her best to cry as silently as she can. Do you have dreams about us? She whispers, and Lucas almost misses it.
Almost every night. Another pause. He isn't really sure what to say. Lucas and Riley haven't spoken to each other in a few weeks. They were trying to create a distance between the two, so they could both try to make their new relationships work. But, it was proving to be difficult. Lucas clears his throat. Does…does he know that you're talking to me?
No. Riley's voice is low. He's sleeping. I snuck out of the room.
And if he catches you? Lucas says in a question.
It'll probably start an argument. The mention of you always does, but I can't say bye to you. I need you, Lucas. The way she said his name, and those three words before it, made his heart flutter and a small smile spread across his lips. But, Sara doesn't like that. She doesn't like that you talk to me either. I saw the way each time I came around she pulled you close.
Yeah. He clears his throat, I'm sorry.
It's okay. You don't have to apologize for anything. She's your girlfriend now. I'm…well, I'm just your friend. Riley's says defeated.
Riley, you are so much more! Lucas says louder than he intended. He peaks around the corner and through the crack of the door making sure his girlfriend is still sound asleep. When he sees, she hadn't moved, he slowly moves away from his bedroom and to his living room, slowly lower himself on his sofa. You have no idea how much I wish it was you who I was with. How I wish you were the one I was waking up to. Riley, he sighs softly, the way you hypnotize me by just your voice, amazes me. No one will ever have that effect on me. We tried to move on, but I don't think we ever did or ever will. He tries to be as quiet as he can because the last thing he wants is for Sara to hear. He cares about her, but that's it. He doesn't love her. Being around you these past few weeks has been god awful, but at the same time amazing. It was awful because you aren't mine, but I hadn't seen you in so long that I was happy to finally see you. The few times we were left alone, for just a few minutes, I wanted nothing more than to sweep you up in my arms and press my lips to yours. It's hard not to want you, not to need you, but…but-
You have a girlfriend, you have Sara. Riley finishes for him. And I have Nathan. More silence falls between them at the mention of the new important people in their lives. Both listening to the faint sound of one another breathing, and not at all ready to say goodbye.
Lucas parts his lips a few times, as does Riley, but no words fall out. Neither one says anything for a few minutes. Just as Lucas is about to say something, he hears someone call out for Riley in the background.
I have to go. She whispers.
Is it him? Sadness clearly heard in his voice, and Riley mumbles a soft yes. I'm always here for you. Always, no matter how late, I'm here.
I know, and I'm always here for you, too. Riley says quietly, and then hangs up.
Lucas keeps the phone to his ear for a second before he slowly lowers it to his lap. He knew they still loved each other, but it always an unspoken rule to not say it. Instead, every single time they ended a call, the both said I'm here for you.
Lucas slowly rises from the couch and saunters back to his bedroom. He sees his girlfriend shuffle around a bit, and soon he sees her eyes slowly flutter open. "Where did you go?" she asks groggily.
Lucas tries to quickly drop his phone in the pocket of his basketball shorts, but his girlfriend sees, but chooses not to say anything. She didn't have the energy to fight about the girl she knew held her boyfriend's heart. "I needed a glass of water. I didn't mean to wake you," Lucas whispers as he moves towards the bed in the center of the room.
His girlfriend doesn't say anything, and neither does Lucas when he lowers himself onto the bed. He starts to lay down, and he can feel his girlfriend snuggle close to him, and he can't help the gut wrenching feeling he feels in the pit of his stomach. Riley was leaving tomorrow, and there was nothing he could do about it.
He laid there for half an hour before he feels his eyes slowly start to grow heavier and heavier as each second passed, and when his sleepiness finally overtook him, he happily welcomed it because in his dreams is where he and Riley were where they were meant to be—with each other.
And, Riley, she was sleeping in her old bedroom, with her boyfriend's arm draped around her—she felt it was suffocating. She, too, was dreaming of her life with Lucas.