Love is Queer:

Triple Threat

Hi Everyone! Oh my goodness, how much I love and miss you guys!

Okay…I'm sure for those who did not experience

Love is Queer 1 & 2 are lost or completely grossed out at the

idea of Logan and Kitty.

But if you give it a chance…you'll find that you like it…

just like the many others before you…just like me.

If you don't like it though…don't read.

BUT if you are a returning customer…please say hello!

Send me a p.m.

And, for the rest of you Witty fans there is a video that I put together!

It's not great since it's my first, but it has some pieces of this series

pieced together!

pm me if you want to and I will send it to you!

Please, please, please! Tell me about your fics!

I would love to review them and give you the same love

that you have shown me in the past.

Logan slept fitfully through out the night. He groaned as images of the past kept coming back to his mind. Falling in love with a sixteen year old kid and feeling like a dirty old man. Watching her cry as she said goodbye to him at the airport; her tears staining his face. Kelly Braze, that evil crack whore, luring him into her evil arms and his beautiful girl kicking some serious ass. He kept tossing and turning until he felt the sunshine on his face and even then he could not open his eyes which were too heavy to open. How did things get so complicated for him? But he had to admit that there was a wonderful twist.

He had admitted his love for her after a few years passed and the professor had not messed with his brain…making him think he was a six year old girl…and letting Jean braid his hair. He shivered as he remembered that one time, it would be the last time that he would tell Jamie that Mystique was hiding under his bed. She had also agreed to marry him…under the understanding that they would not be marrying in Vegas, living in Canada with ten kids and him hunting for their food. Well there was always their honeymoon.

He smiled to himself when he felt something come near to his face. Their noses nuzzled and he took in a deep breath, taking in that strawberry scent of hers. He didn't say a word as he felt her little pecks against his cheek and put his large hand behind her small head, bringing her closer to him. He knew that he shouldn't let her come into his room, which was something that she had honestly never done before, something about not compromising her ability to wear a white dress and veil…stupid tradition… He immediately forgot that thought when she started to kiss him on the mouth.

"Honestly darlin' I told ya that ya kissed like Woody Woodpecker…ya should just let me take ya out and give ya some lessons…" He said and when he received no response opened his eyes. There, looking right at him, weren't the beautiful blue eyes that he hoped would greet him every morning in the near future, but the deep purple ones of his arch nemesis! "Aaaargh!"

"I told ya ta stay outta my room ya fire breathin' runt!" Logan yelled aloud, throwing his quilt off his body. There flying about his head was the little purple dragon called Lockheed, the one thing closer to Kitty then he was and he hated it. Lockheed flew closer and raspberried him, flying away as Logan attempted to swat at him.

"Looky here…just cause ya get to sleep with Kitty, an' bathe with Kitty, an' watch her brush her hair, an' shower with Kitty, an' sit on Kitty's shoulder, an' see Kitty nekked, doesn't give ya the right to be in my room. So get the hell out!" He shouted. The poor little dragon gave a soft whimper and flew away. For some reason Logan knowing that this would not be the last of him.

Logan was ready for a shower and went to his underwear drawer to pull out a pair of underpants when he came across a lacy red number mixed with his whites. He cocked his head to the side and peered closely into it before using the point of his index finger and thumb to pull it out.

"What the hell is this?!"

Meanwhile, at the dining room table we see Remy on his knees begging Rogue to reconsider her rejection of his consistent marriage proposals. He was on bended knee, his trench hanging on the coat tree with his cards peeking out of the side. Cards that Rogue prayed her son or daughter would never know how to use. He was in his traditional garments; traditional garments that he knew turned the ladies on. He had on a pair of tight black pants tucked into his boots, boots that made it easier to run…when he was doing his illegal business that he chose not to share due to the 5th amendment. A short sleeved shirt that showed off his muscles, muscles he had worked hard for. But all for nothing because it did not work on the southern beauty.

"Listen Chere, Remy really loves ya…Remy wants ta make an honest woman of his…uh…his….Remy's woman…" Remy told her. Rogue rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. She stabbed her sausage with her fork and looked down at the burgeoning belly before her, a belly that showcased her wonderful midnight activities with the southern homme.

It was all his fault! It was his fault that she was knocked up! No! It was Dr. McCoy's fault! That idiot made that stupid serum! And now she was pregnant! She hated them! She hated them all! They all were out to get her! They all wanted her pregnant and sitting at home! All of them! Jamie wanted her to cook for him! Kitty wanted her to mend her clothes! Scott wanted her to do his laundry! Jean wanted her to have Scott's baby as a surrogate mother so that she wouldn't ruin her perfectly trim figure!

"I hate you all!" Rogue shouted and threw her fork in the air, it barely missed Tabby's head and got stuck in the apple she was about to put in her mouth. She slowly put it down and smiled at the back of Rogue's head. She stood up and walked over to Rogue and patted Remy on the back before getting down on one knee before Rogue, next to him. Remy gave her a smile, silently thanking her for the encouragement.

"Rogue…" Tabby began. Rogue sighed heavily, expecting the same lecture she had been receiving, day after day…night after night…person after person… "DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT ROGUE! It will be the biggest mistake of your life! Marriage is a freakin' punishment! Don't do it!"

Remy pushed her and she knocked over to the side laughing, but her laughter was cut short when she heard a sniffle behind her. She groaned when she figured who it had to be. That smell of sulfur was not easily forgotten, not after all of the late night visits.

"Is that vhat you think of marriage?!" Kurt told her, his voice full of pain. "Then…Then..forget it! Ve are through!" he shouted and through at her the man ring that she had brought when he had broken off their engagement a week ago because she had told Jubilee that German was not the most sexiest of languages…she wondered why he was being so sensitive…but she ignored it and instead ran after him.

"Nah baby! I didn't mean it…I was just kiddin', getting' married and knocked up is my dream come true! Really! It is! It's da bomb!" She stopped and picked up a beautiful bouquet of wild flowers he had gotten for her and wiped the corner of her eye before turning to Rogue and Remy. "I ain't cryin', honestly, I'm allergic to flowers…"

Meanwhile Scott walked in on Logan who was still holding the red lacy thong between his fingers. He took in a sharp breath and let out a gasp before walking straight over and ripping away the thong from his hand. He stared at the thong and then at Logan, the thong and then at Logan, the thong and then at Logan. Logan was about to deny it was his until Scott spoke before he could even open his mouth.

"What are you doing with Jeans underwear?!" Scott yelled. Logan took a step back at the sincere look of anger on Scott's face. He was about to explain himself and tell him how sorry he was. It wasn't his fault anyway! It was that stupid Blockheads fault! He kept doing things like that, getting him into trouble and what not! Stupid Blockhead…he would get him, he honestly would. One day he was gonna grab that skinny little neck of his and then…wait a minute…what did he just say?

"How the hell do you know that's Jeans underwear?" Logan growled. Scott yelped and nervously adjusted his glasses before dropping them to the floor.

"I…I mean…I was doing…I was doing laundry the other day and…and…awww man…awww man…I gotta get ready for danger room sessions…" Scott said and sped away.

The youngsters would need a sincere talking to and Logan had to speak to the professor. All of this sleeping around nonsense had to stop, for having a telepath under the roof there were a lot of knocked up kids walking around. All these kids getting married and what not or not getting married…because they don't want the responsibility even though they were already knocked up, he sure had to speak to that one. And besides…if he wasn't getting any then no one else would either!

During Logan's mental escapade his beautiful definite girlfriend/sorta fiancée was underneath a hot shower soothing her muscles. The X Men where lucky enough to skip the danger room session that morning since Logan had apparently forgotten to set his alarm; that was there story and they were sticking to it. She was so exhausted because of the battle the evening before. Apparently the Brotherhood hadn't changed since she had been away. It was already two months since her return, since Kelly's attack, and she was still stuck with battling those annoying High schoolers…well they were in college now, surprisingly so. But Lance, Fred, Todd, Pietro and even Wanda had continued on into the Bayville community college continuing the saga they thought they would leave behind at graduation.

The second her skin began to prune up, Kitty realized that it was time to step out of the shower. She shut the shower off and reached out to get her purple fluffy towel but couldn't seem to find it. When she felt it rubbing her hair dry, she sighed as it deeply massaged her scalp. This time he was hitting all the right spots. He always knew where to get her and where she was sore. Her body still adjusting to the battles and erratic sleeping methods. She sighed heavily once again.

"Ahhh Lockheed!" Kitty said softly. "Thanks sweetie pie!"

Kitty turned around to pet her favorite little dragon when all she saw was a large hairy arm holding her towel. Her scream echoed through out the school and the hand dropped the towel and tried to cover her mouth. She screamed harder as she phased through the arm and the shower curtain picking up the towel and covering her body. There standing before her was her definite boyfriend/maybe fiancé even though he did ask her to marry him and she did say yes but they were supposed to take their relationship slowly.

The door was blasted open and a large red beam hit the wall on the left side of Logan's face, leaving a large hole. Kurt teleported in and shielded Kitty with his body while Storm and Dr. McCoy ran in from a short distance. Peeking through the large hole in the wall were the former new recruits trying to see if they were needed. In the distance you heard a huffing Rogue cursing Remy and the whole world off for her condition.

"I believe Logan…that Kitty was able to take a shower by herself before you arrived. Her parents took the time to teach her how to dry herself off," Xavier announced. No one heard anything but a soft snicker and they looked about wondering who the idiot was, knowing that Logan would tear a hole in their gut. In flew the lovely Lockheed who landed on Kitty's bare shoulder and it looked like it had given Logan a smile.

"Okay students…time to leave and Logan…feel free to follow me to my office. I have an important assignment I'd like you to take on. That is…if you aren't too busy at the moment," he said dryly.

Logan gave him a growl and continued on bumping into Rogue on the way. She gave him a glare before he could mutter an apology and hoped that it was not just mood swings that were making her behave that way. He could not stand mood swings. He honestly was not going to put up with such nonsense when he knocked Kitty up.

"Logan…" Charles said aloud. "Please stop referring pregnancy to getting knocked up. I don't think people appreciate that very much."

"Stay outta the noggin' Chuck. Ya know how I feel 'bout that," he warned. They finally reached his private office and Xavier rolled his eyes.

"Well…it seems you haven't been in much control of your thoughts lately. And after you go do the assignment I have for you, I believe a talk is in need of," Charles said. As the head of the school he had to ensure the safety of his students, and aside from that he did not think Kitty's parents would appreciate her walking down the aisle in a maternity gown.

"What's the assignment Chuck? Rescuin' mutants? Kicking Mystique's face in? Savin' the world?" Logan asked, ready for anything, wanting to get his hands on something that he could pretend was that purple fireball.

"No…I need you to take Rogue to her appointment…" Charles said quietly, Logan was his last hope.

"Hell no! I'm not takin' that kid anywhere. She's ready to blow anybody's head to bits and I don't plan on bein' one of 'em," Logan said adamantly.

"Don't make me tell her you said that…" Charles threatened. Logan glared at him and went to put on a descent pair of clothes; he was in for a very dangerous ride. That kid sure had good aim and even with that belly she knew how to beat a guy up. Poor Bobby revealed this to the mansion the hard way, no more experiments on whether dipping someone's hand in cold water causes labor.

He sat down in the soccer mom van with Rogue who was complaining the whole time on how much of a jerk Remy was. The conversation went on and on as she described all of the things he did. He liked to drink wine with spaghetti, he liked to wear tight pants, he always wanted to refer himself to the third person. At that Logan got annoyed and turned to her when they reached a red light.

"Listen kid, ya had no problem with that before…why now?" He asked her roughly. "Ya keep complainin' on what a horrible guy he is an' all that but he was the one guy who stuck by ya even though ya couldn't touch nobody. What's the problem wit him? He wants ta marry ya and give ya his name…what more do you want from him? His soul?"

At that Rogue began to cry heavily and Logan felt bad for having given it to her so hard. He pulled over and gave her a hug and tried to deal with the situation as best as he could. She began to sputter something through tears, and coughs and other disgusting segments. When he handed her a tissue she blew into it rather hard.

At the same time Kitty was sitting in the kitchen eating some cornflakes while Remy gave his own complaints. It all revolved around Rogue's refusal to marry him and how with her pregnancy she gets more moody day after day and he could not understand why she wouldn't want to marry a guy like him due to how sexy he was. Through out this time Remy, Rogue, chere, Remy, chere, Rogue was all that was mentioned.

"Well," Kitty said, interrupting him. "Maybe you should try to use your actions to prove to her that you deserve it. I mean…if I was dating a guy who stole for a living, wore tight pants and thought that putting charged cards in Scott's underpants drawer was appealing, I'd check myself in."

Remy thought hard and then looked at Kitty with a sad look in his eye.

"What should Remy do den Kitten?" Remy asked. Kitty cocked her head to the side with a soft smile. The Cajun had truly won her affection with his persistence of winning Rogue's heart.

"How about Remy go to the doctor's appointment…just show up and show your support. Don't mention marriage till later…" Kitty said, her soft blue eyes dancing. Remy returned her smile and his little dimple appeared at the corner of his mouth again.

"That's perfect Kitten, Remy will do just that," He said and they stood up both ready to go to their respective places. "And…Remy promises to never tell anyone of that cute little birthmark on Kitten's left butt cheek."

"Dude!" Ray said, when he noticed Remy stumble out of the kitchen. "What the hell happened to your face? You need to get some ice on that before your head is too big to walk out the door."

Yay! My first chapter! And surprisingly…I think it was pretty good!

But that's for you to say, feel free to review, constructive criticism accepted.

Flames are merely returned or…used to roast marshmallows!