I feel like I keep writing things that are way too similar to each other but I just suck at ideas. It's kinda different because its Cargan bromance which I really enjoyed writing. I think I wanna do one with Carlos and all the boys because he's my little chimichanga. Cargan = check, Kenlos = check x lots and now just Jarlos = someone give me an idea please? So yeah, anyway, enhoy!
Carlos liked to pretend it didn't bother him. "Paranormal prognosis, Carlos is stupid", "Your island is stupid", "Carlos is still stupid", "and 2. He's an idiot", not to mention all the smacks to the back of the head and the countless looks that screamed 'how can you be so dumb?' Sometimes Logan was relentless with his endeavour to make Carlos feel like shit about himself.
Carlos knew that Logan didn't mean his words and looks to make his friend upset, he knew it was because Logan couldn't help but to be brutally honest. And most things like this Logan, and anyone else for that matter said to him never really bothered him because for the most part, he was happy with who he was. It didn't bother him when people would tell him to calm down because he was crazy or that he wasn't the favourite in the band. It only bothered him when it was Logan calling him stupid or dumb or an idiot or any other word to mean unintelligent. That's the only time Carlos didn't like who he was.
He knows that he isn't as smart as Logan, or even Kendall or James for that matter, but surely he isn't as dumb as Logan always makes him feel. The strange thing is, when anyone else said it to him, like the other boys, or Katie or even the Jennifers, he found it easy not to believe them. Because what did they know right, they're not that smart either. But Logan…Logan knew what he was talking about when it came to brains, he was a genius and if he was saying it, it must be true. Carlos looked up to Logan; sure he looked up to James and Kendall too, but for different reasons. Carlos genuinely believed that Logan knows all there is to know about facts and science and math and all those other silly things that he has never cared for. So to be shut down by someone he had so much faith in, hurt him like hell. He just never let on how much. Until one day…
Carlos had been working hard on his creative writing paper for his English class for the past hour and a half and nothing good was coming to him. All of a sudden, all the times Logan had called him stupid came flooding back, making him doubt himself. He couldn't do this. He was too much of an idiot. After a few more scribbles and crossing out of ideas, something came to him. He started writing a story about this caterpillar character that was going on an adventure to find where he belonged. He got about half way and was at a particular scene in the story where he wrote "his voluptuous caterpillar lips" when he stopped. 'Wait, do caterpillars even have lips?' Carlos thought to himself. Forgetting about his earlier thought process of Logan calling him stupid, he went out into the living room to ask the smart brunette, taking all his papers and notes with him.
"Hey Logie, do caterpillars have lips?"
Logan looked up from his homework he was doing on the dining table with confusion. Why on Earth would Carlos want to know that? Nevertheless, Logan answered him.
"Well, they can whistle, so I assume they would. Why?"
"Because I'm writing a story for English and I wanted to write the voluptuous caterpillar lips, thanks Logie."
Carlos was about to walk out of the room with his new found knowledge when he heard Logan giggle and mumble "You're an idiot".
That was the last straw for Carlos. He had worked really hard on his story and finally thought for once he was maybe a little bit smart and could do academic things like Logan could. So…he raged it. He threw his papers down onto the table and they flew everywhere, screaming "AHH, I HATE YOU" and stormed out of the room with angry tears.
Logan stared blankly at the direction of Carlos' room where he'd stormed off to. He was paralyzed with confusion and utter disbelief. Why did Carlos hate him? He sat there for a good 5 minutes, unable to move, when James and Kendall walked into the apartment after hanging around the pool. James noticed Logan first and asked him what was wrong. Logan completely ignored him; he was still staring at Carlos' door. So Kendall walked up to Logan and started waving his hand in front of his face saying "Yo, Loges, what's up man?" Logan snapped out of his trance and looked at Kendall sadly, "he hates me, and I don't know what I did"
"Who hates you, what are you talking about?" asked James.
"Carlos, he came here asking me about caterpillars and lips and when I answered him he just yelled I HATE YOU and stormed off" Logan left out the part about the giggle and stupid comment not on purpose but because the truth was he had paid no mind to it, it wasn't something out of the ordinary.
"Do you want us to go talk to him?" Kendall offered.
"No, I should go sort it out"
"Okay, but good luck"
Logan nodded and headed towards Carlos' room nervously. He knocked on the door and heard a muffled "who is it?" "It's Logan, can I come in". Carlos ignored him and Logan took this as a he could come in. He hesitantly opened the bedroom door and walked over to Carlos who was lying face down on his bed.
"What do you want?" Carlos asked harshly.
"I came to see if you were okay and apologise for whatever it is that I did to make you hate me."
Carlos was furious. How could Logan not know what he had done? He had been doing it the entire time they had known each other and he was completely oblivious. And Carlos was supposed to be the stupid one. And Carlos let Logan know exactly how he felt.
"How can you not know? You're not sorry, you don't even care about how I feel, you just have to keep telling me and telling me how stupid I am and I'm sick of it. I know I'm dumb, but do you know how much it hurts to get told time and time again, especially by someone who I look up to. Because you're so smart Logan and I can never be like you because I am just a stupid ass and I can't do anything right because nothing makes sense and I try to be smarter but I can't because it's just so hard and and…" Carlos rambled before breaking down into violent sobs.
Logan ran straight over to Carlos and held him tight, whispering "shh, it's okay, it's okay". Logan just let Carlos let it all out before he spoke again. Carlos just couldn't stop. He had held it in for so long and hadn't even realised how badly he was feeling about himself until this very moment. His sobs eventually subsided and just sniffles remained.
"I don't really hate you…but I guess now you know why I said that I did" mumbled Carlos.
"You have every right to hate me though. I can't believe I was hurting you this much. Most of the time, I don't even realise I am saying it. I don't think your dumb, actually I think you're pretty smart"
"Hmph, as if. If you thought I was smart, you wouldn't always call me dumb and stuff. I know you Logan, you're honest."
"I don't mean it the way you think I mean it Carlos. I just mean you're…silly. In a good way of course, like goofy and loveable, and every other time I say it is when we're fighting, but you know nothing ever counts then. But I meant what I just said then, you are smart."
"Logan, I am writing a story about a caterpillar, I'm not smart"
"So, maybe creative writing isn't your thing, but you know how to make rockets that can shoot you over a pool and a shopping cart that can slingshot you across a room. That's like top of the line aerodynamics right there".
Logan was exaggerating, but Carlos didn't care because he had just been called smart by the smartest guy he knew. Maybe he wasn't so dumb after all, even if he had no clue what the hell aerodynamics was. He was apparently good at it. Carlos gave Logan a huge grin and gave him an apology for telling him he hated him.
"I'm the one who should be saying sorry, for calling you something you're not…repeatedly. Hey maybe I'm the stupid one". Carlos laughed and just leaned into Logan who hadn't let him go since his breakdown.
Sometimes Logan would slip up when Carlos would do something totally crazy and he'd say stupid instead of silly or when they fought he'd call him an idiot. But it was nowhere near as frequently and he always regretted it and apologised immediately after. But Carlos would just wave it off and tell Logan "I don't need you telling me I'm not dumb to believe it" every time he did.
I guess I'm happy with how that turned out. Kind of. I just wish I had like an idea generator in my head dammit.
Oh, and the caterpillar thing, that was a real thing a guy in my year 12 English class asked when we were doing our creative writing for belonging, yes, he thought that the sentence"the voluptuous caterpillar lips" would get him marks. And I still remember our classes reaction to this day, 3 years later.
So yeah, review, if you want, or not, whatever floats your boat.