Title: You'll Be In My Heart
Author: Zipper Nova
Rating: E
Pairings: Cloud/Zack
Summary: Cloud is having some major problems and it's really starting to get to him. Zack knows just how to help him. Cloud/Zack comfort love!
Cloud had been having a terrible week. Zack had asked him a few times if he had been PMS-ing but, as for most men, that was impossible. His moodiness had been caused by his never ending thinking. Thinking down on himself, thinking about why his dad wasn't around, thinking about why he wasn't in SOLDIER. All things that easily brought him down day after day. Zack had quickly taken notice to Cloud's new attitude and had offered many times to talk to him about it but Cloud denied every offer.
"You've been starring at the wall for three days straight now! You seem even more sad than usual and when I try to help you, you push me away more than ever! Cloud, I'm here to help not hurt!" Zack had told him earlier that week. Ah, that was another thing he killed his week over. He was hurting Zack too. Zack cared about him, that much was obvious. Zack knew that others gave him shit for every little thing they could, even if they themselves were the same as what they were making fun of. Zack had, and still did, done everything in his power to stop it all. Besides killing the idiotic twats. Excepting Zack's offer to talk though seemed like it wouldn't help at all. "But, being alone and keeping everything to yourself is only going to hurt you more!" Yeah, but Cloud didn't want to get him involved in his shitty life anymore than he already was. If cloud couldn't grow up and face his life head on at this point in time then he didn't deserve to live. Well in his own opinion anyways.
Cloud had just opened the door to the apartment he and Zack shared. He was lucky enough to beat Zack home. That day had seemed more tiring than any of the others. Probably because it was Friday and he had been going through five days of extra hell. He kicked off his boots at the door and sat his bag nun too gently on the floor. He headed started taking off his armor as he headed towards his room. When he was past the doorway he threw his armor onto the floor and flung himself face first onto his bed. If Zack had seen this he either would have laughed so hard he fell sideways and hit his head on the wall causing him to pass out and dreaming the same scene over and over again where the same thing involving the wall happened and then waking up to continue laughing, or he would hurry after him to ask what was wrong and baby him until everything was better. Judging by the week's events, it was more than likely the later.
Cloud laid on his bed staring at the wall. He ran the same thoughts threw his head as he had been. Hurting Zack, his dad not being in his life, not being in SOLDIER, being pathetic…
"Hurting Zack…" Cloud whispered aloud. "I'm such an ass. An idiot, stupid failure of a-" His words were cut off by an unexpected sob.
~X~
Zack was dragging his feet down the hallway towards his shared apartment while thinking of the blonde he shared said apartment with. He was trying to come up with ways to help the boy tell him what was wrong. He had tried telling him that he was his friend and that he was there for him but that didn't do anything. Whether it was because the kid had had someone close to him lie something like that to him or some other thing.
Zack shrugged and unlocked the door. He had his eyes trained on the floor when he saw Cloud's boots kicked off near the door and his bag flung carelessly to the floor.
Another shit day. He thought to himself. It really hurt him to know that Cloud had another bad day. It hurt him even more to know that he wasn't helping the blonde in any way at all. His feelings were cut short when he heard a sharp inhale. One that sounded like someone had been crying.
"Cloud?" Zack questioned quietly. He took a few steps into the apartment, kicking off his boots and armor in the process. He stood still for a moment and listened. He heard what he thought sounded like sniffling. "Cloud?" He asked a bit louder. He turned and locked the front door behind him and headed down the hallway quietly. When he reached Cloud's room he peeked in through the open door. Cloud lay on the bed on his stomach. He didn't look like he was paying much attention to anything around him. "Cloud?" Zack asked in a soft voice. The blonde blinked but didn't do much else. Zack walked toward the bed and sat on the edge. Cloud closed his eyes and turned his head away. "Hey, you okay?" Zack saw Cloud's back shake a little and a small whimper.
Great, I'm crying in front of him. Cloud thought to himself. Now he'll probably make fun of me. Instead of laughter Cloud felt something brush over the back of his head.
"Hey, it's okay." Zack said to him in a soothing voice. "I'd really like it if you'd tell what's been bothering you." Cloud lifted his head so he was looking at the wall. He slowly sat up on his knees but kept his head turned away from Zack. "Could you look at me?" Zack asked him. Cloud shook his head slowly and sniffed. Zack reached forward and grabbed Cloud's hand. He tugged on it gently to urge Cloud to turn around and face him. When Cloud complied Zack smiled at the progress. His smile was erased though when he noticed Cloud kept his head down so Zack couldn't see his eyes.
"You don't need to hide from me." Zack said with a reassuring smile. He reached forward and brushed Cloud's bangs from his eyes but Cloud kept his eyes cast downwards. It didn't hide what Zack saw though. His eyes were puffy and red from crying.
Damn, he's been crying for awhile. Zack thought bitterly. He erased the thought and continued his comforting smile. He reached out and took Cloud's hand again. This time though he also reached up and lifted Cloud's chin so they could look eye to eye.
"Cloud, please, look at me and tell me everything." Zack asked him again. Cloud slowly lifted his eyes to look at Zack. Zack gave him a warm smile and moved his hand from the blonde's chin to hold his other hand. Cloud took a deep breath and relaxed.
"I wanna help you. I'm here to listen and, I… Cloud I'm your friend. I'm not those dumb ass jerks. I won't think any different of you or anything. Sometimes life gets too hard for people and they need a break. Sometimes that break is letting it out through anger or maybe even tears." Zack smiled and wiped a tear from Cloud's cheek. "So, I'm here." Cloud nodded and took another deep breath. "You ready to tell me?" He nodded again. "Okay. So, what started all this? Start from the beginning of the week." Cloud tried talking but his voice was horse and cracked from the sudden use. He cleared his throat and blushed a little in embarrassment. Zack gave him a reassuring smile and nodded for him to try again.
"There were people talking about their families, how proud their parents were that their kid had made it as far as they did. They started talking about how when they were little they would do different things to prepare themselves for Shin-Ra. How they would help out their dads doing hard things. Then they started talking about their dads." Cloud paused and blinked a couple times.
Their dads… Zack thought to himself. He knew that Cloud's dad had left before Cloud was born and that no one ever came to assume the role. When someone talked about their father it sometimes bothered Cloud. If Zack was with him when it happened he would always pull Cloud away so he didn't have to hear it. He was pretty sure Cloud noticed why he did it now.
"Well when they noticed I was getting all my stuff from my locker they shoved me into it and started saying stuff." Cloud continued.
"Stuff." Zack said angrily. He knew what stuff they said and it pissed him off to know that he wasn't there or even more that Cloud hadn't told him. "Wait, that bruise on you your shoulder." Zack moved his hand up Cloud's arm to gently rest it on said shoulder. "When they pushed you, your shoulder hit the lock?" He guessed. Cloud nodded. Zack remembered how he had found out about it. It was the same day the incident had happened.
Cloud had been in his room changing when Zack decided to barge in without knocking and see what he was up too. He walked in when Cloud was about to put a clean shirt on.
"Hey pretty!" Zack said as he hugged the shocked blonde from behind.
"Z-Zack, I was changing!" Cloud said with a blush.
"But you look better this way!" Zack said jokingly. He continued to hug the boy while the other squirmed. While hugging, Zack managed to hit the bruise on Cloud's shoulder. Cloud made a small noise of pain and grabbed his shoulder. He tried to play it off by telling Zack to get out so he could study for a test but Zack noticed more than anything.
"What happened?" He asked gently holding Cloud's arm to examine the bruise.
"I-it's nothing. I fell in training today and got it." Cloud lied. The next four hours were spent with Zack trying to get him to tell the truth. Cloud insisted that the fall in training was the truth and didn't show any signs of changing his story.
"What kind of stuff exactly?" Zack asked.
"I- the same as always." Cloud mumbled. "They said that the reason I didn't have dad, the reason why he left, was because I was a weak stupid thing."
"Cloud! Everyone is weak and stupid when they're born! Those asses don't know anything! You're the smartest person in this whole place and I know it!" Zack squeezed Cloud's hands to emphasize his point.
"I couldn't help but think that they were right. That I am weak and stupid." Cloud started to cry again and looked down and shook his head in shame. "I'm just some pathetic thing. I don't deserve to be here. I came to be in SOLDIER and I couldn't even do that because I'm so weak!" He pulled his hands out of Zack's and put them on his face. "How can I not think so bad about myself when I'm constantly below everyone in everything? I know you're helping me but they don't get that! I'm always being made fun of because of you too. That the only reason I'm still here is because I'm doing stuff with you that I'm not really!" Cloud was freely crying now. Zack watched in pain as tear after tear left a trail down Cloud's cheeks. Zack crawled forward and sat so Cloud was sitting between his legs. He wrapped his arms around the blonde tightly and buried his nose in the blonde spikes. He decided that he would do the one thing that his mother always did for him when he was upset. He smiled as he played the beginning of a very familiar song in his head.
"Come stop your crying, it'll be alright. Just take my hand hold it tight." Zack began. He held Cloud's hand in his own and squeezed it as to show that he really was there. "I will protect you from all around you, I will be here don't you cry." He reached up and wiped the fresh tears from Cloud's face and smiled down at him. "For one so small, you seem so strong." He placed a hand on top of Cloud's head then wrapped his arms fully around the blonde. "My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can't be broken. I will be here don't you cry. 'Cause you'll be in my heart, yes you'll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more." Cloud relaxed in the warm embrace of his friend and listened as his soothing voice sang a song he wasn't too familiar with. It was strange how it seemed to go with what was going on. Surprisingly Zack, in simpler terms, had the voice of a god. "You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say. You'll be here in my heart always."
Zack felt like the next part was directed more to him than to anyone. Of course at this moment in time it was also directed towards Cloud but Zack felt it hit him more. "Why can't the understand the way we feel? They just don't trust, what they can't explain. I know we're different but, deep inside us," Zack placed his hand over Cloud's heart and smiled down at him. "We're not that different at all. And you'll be in my heart. Yes you'll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more." Zack looked at Cloud and put on his best reassuring smile. "Don't listen to them, cause what do they know. We need each other to have to hold. They'll see in time, I know. When destiny calls you, you must be strong. I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on. They'll see in time. I know. We'll show them together cause, you'll be in my heart. Believe me, you'll be in my heart. I'll be there from this day on, now and forever more."
As Zack continued to sing softly Cloud began to doze off. He was completely at peace. Nothing on his mind except for how soothing Zack's voice was. He felt bad when he realized that he had missed part of Zack's song.
"I'll be there always. Always, I'll be with you. I'll be there for you always. Always and always. Just look over your shoulder. Just look over your shoulder. Just look over your shoulder. I'll be there always." Zack turned his head so he could get a look at Cloud's face. The blonde's eyes were closed and his breathing had gotten heavier. Zack was glad that his plan had worked. He leaned back while carefully maneuvering Cloud so he wouldn't wake up.
"Zack," Cloud mumbled. He raised his head slightly to look at the older teen who was now laying next to him.
"Hm?" Zack answered.
"That song, where did you learn it?" Cloud asked him. Zack chuckled at how slurred the words came out. He brushed a few strands of blonde hair from Cloud's face and smiled.
"I'll tell you later." He whispered and placed a small kiss on the others forehead. When they both woke up, Zack would tell Cloud about the song.
Author's Notes: Phil Collins! Woo! I've had this idea for SO LONG! I just never got around to writing it. I was originally going to have this one scene were Cloud cuts himself and I was like "Wait, why the frick would I do that with a Disney song?" so I took it out. XD.
Man I took a sleepy pill when I was almost finished with this and I almost fell asleep while typing it. XD. Eh, if there is some weird parts in the middle and near the end it's because my brain like shut off cause I was tired and when I think about it, I have no idea what I put for some of it. XD. Now it's 12:05 on, eh, guess it's technically Thursday morning… I have a late start every Thursday though for school so I might just sleep then. Oh crap, I didn't study for my Spanish test… or do the study guide… Huh, oh well. Eh, enough of my ramblings!
I hope you enjoyed the fic! Please review! Oh, and go to bed at a decent time and do your homework and study for testes! XD.